...

When Stefan had first driven through Mystic Falls after all the time, it had felt like he could finally breathe again. Which was strange; he'd always thought it should be the other way around, that Mystic Falls should feel oppressing and too laden with history. Instead it felt like what it was: home.

His first destination had of course been the house of his family - Damon's house. His brother was the reason why he was back after all.

...

He'd gotten a phone call, rather unexpected, from Elena. She'd told him everything about the proposal, how happy she was, and then she'd suddenly sounded pretty serious when she had told him, "I know he's trying to pretend everything is fine, Stefan, but Damon… he really misses you."

"I miss him, too, Elena," he'd admitted, it was no secret after all.

"Then come back. I know you, Stefan. You're not happy where you are-"

He had grimaced and interrupted her, "Elena, I can't."

"Are you trying to protect her again?" she had asked him and she had hit something in him then. "It's not my place, but… ask yourself, are you doing it because you truly love her, or because of an image you still have of her. Or are you doing it for us? I know how you tick, Stefan. If it's the latter: we can take care of ourselves, and we'd rather have you home." There had been a distinct pause before she'd added, jokingly, "Also, everyone is getting rather tired of Damon's moping…"

He had chuckled then. There was probably some truth to it. A moping Damon could be rather… draining.

…

He wasn't quite sure whether it was because of her call, or because of Damon's a couple of days ago, but he'd suddenly found himself packing, getting ready to leave.

When Damon had opened the door, there had been honest surprise in his face.

"Stefan!" he had exclaimed.

"Hello, brother."

Stefan had smiled and they'd hugged it out for a good long time, until he had seen Elena approach from the back, and he'd given her a hug, too. She had smiled at him knowingly but hadn't said anything about their phone conversation.

It had felt so good to be home, so natural. And he had missed his brother more than he had allowed himself to admit.

They'd all sat together, pointedly avoiding the topic of Katherine, until Elena had urged the brothers to go out and have some "brotherly fun," while she wanted to head out for one last girls' night with Bonnie and Caroline before the baby got there.

"Still no baby?" Stefan had grinned, and it had been Damon scolding him and advising, "Don't let Bon hear that! She's got enough on her plate and doesn't need your snarky comments."

Stefan had marveled at his brother then. Who'd have ever thought that Damon Salvatore would be looking out for someone else like that, especially for Bonnie. It was really quite amazing. This was what he'd always hoped for, for his brother to find peace and find that kind soul again that he'd had before Stefan… well, before he'd managed to ruin his brother's life.

...

Now they all sat together at the bar - Alaric and Enzo had come along - and he watched them all interact, listened to their brotherly banter and was amazed at how great Damon's life had turned out to be without him there.

"You okay there, brother?" Damon jolted him out of his thoughts and Stefan nodded.

"Ya, of course. I…"

"I think he needs another drink!" Alaric proclaimed and was already waving Matt over before Stefan had a chance to decline. He sighed. He was already starting to feel the booze.

In the end Stefan was rather grateful to have a vampire be part of their party, because both Damon and Ric were so ridiculously wasted that they pretty much collapsed on the floor - or table in his brother's case.

Stefan himself was pretty hammered, but still standing. He exchanged a look with Enzo after Damon's head had thudded down hard onto the wood, and wordlessly they decided to call it a night.

Enzo was the one taking care of getting them all back home in one piece before heading back to Bonnie. Before he went on his way, Stefan stopped him on the doorstop of the boarding house to thank him.

"Thanks, man," he simply said, and Enzo smirked mildly.

"You should get him a bucket," the vampire suggested, nodding inside to where Damon now lay on the couch. "Still hasn't caught up with him that he's human now…"

Stefan grinned a little awkwardly. Somehow, banter with Enzo didn't come easy. It was still kind of weird for him to interact with the other man. He'd torn Enzo's heart out twice - well, one had been a suicide of sorts, but still. The second time had also initiated a slew of nightmares that Stefan felt responsible for. If he hadn't turned off his humanity and killed Enzo, Bonnie would have never blasted her magic uncontrolled into the orbit, after all.

Then again, he had only been in that situation because of something Damon and Enzo had gotten themselves into to begin with… so there was that.

He shook his head. That kind of thinking didn't ever lead anywhere. He knew that, but sometimes it was just easier to defer the blame. At least a little bit. Or he might not be able to live with himself...

Enzo also shared a rather dark past with Damon. And there weren't many people Damon loved enough to turn his humanity off for in order to deal - or more like, not deal - with his feelings for them, but Enzo had been one of them. Quite an awkward distinction, but a distinction nonetheless. It made Stefan feel kind of… jealous? Was that really it?

As soon as Enzo turned around with a half wave goodbye of the hand, Stefan closed the door. He shook his head as if to clear it. He couldn't quite get past the other man's guard. They tolerated each other, yes, but mostly for Damon's sake. Or so Stefan thought. He had absolutely no idea how Enzo viewed it all.

"You guys really liked the booze tonight, huh?"

Stefan turned to see Elena sit by Damon on the couch.

"Sorry if we woke you up," he grinned sheepishly, then said, "we may have enjoyed a few glasses of that bourbon Damon keeps around…"

Elena nodded, smiling.

He walked over to where Damon lay splayed out on the couc, where she smiled and kissed the lucky bastard before asking Stefan about their night.

It was funny, he thought now, how much like Katherine she was, yet so very different. He'd loved Elena at some point. But he'd since learned that what he'd loved about her was his vision of how he'd wished Katherine could be.

But Katherine couldn't be changed. He sighed. What had he gotten himself into? There seemed to be no going back and no going forth. He couldn't live with nor without Katherine.

Damon had yet again implored him to leave her and just come live at the old home again, but Stefan couldn't possibly do that. His brother was going to get married soon, and then they'd probably start a family at some point down the road. And he didn't want to be weird old bachelor uncle Stefan.

He sighed. What then, was he supposed to do? He hadn't brought Katherine, although she had begged to come. Thankfully, she had for once listened to him when he'd told her - again - how she'd messed with too many people and how that meant they would just go berserk if they saw her.

She had pouted. Naturally. But she'd settled on saying "fine" and had gone on a trip to New York "to lift her spirits."

...

It was the next morning when he heard another familiar voice.

"Stefan?"

He had decided he needed to clear the fog in his hungover head a little by going for a walk. He hadn't paid much attention to where his feet carried him - or maybe he just tried to tell himself he hadn't; and suddenly he found himself by the playground, staring into Caroline's wide eyes.

"Caroline…" he said. "Hello. I didn't know-"

"The girls like to hang out here in the afternoon," she explained, interrupting him. "I'm… we're keeping them at home for now."

She smiled; he smiled too. It was really good to see her…

"How's that going?" he asked, not because he was super into parenting all of a sudden, rather, he didn't know what else to say. Their parting hadn't been exactly smooth.

"Oh, you know… it's going…" She paused, her face was scrunching up a bit, and Stefan saw that worry-mound between her eyebrows appear. "They fired me," she blurted out suddenly, startling him a bit. "My work? Said I didn't seem to be into it very much anymore and that I couldn't just come and go as I pleased. - As if that's what I did! I mean, I couldn't exactly explain to them what was going on here, and that my kids' mom just died for the second time and that their weird king-of-hell-uncle decided he wants to be a part of their lives and…"

She was rambling and she noticed it, covering her hand with her mouth. "I'm sorry," she muttered, "it's not what you asked."

But he smiled at her, understanding, and replied, "It kind of is. Come on, if you don't mind, I'll sit down with you for a bit and you can pour your heart out. And then, maybe…"

"You can pour yours out in turn?" She suggested, and he was more than grateful that she had been so welcoming, that she hadn't thrown Katherine in his face, or the fact that he had pretty much run away from everything, leaving them all to deal with Katherine's mess by themselves.

"Yeah," he whispered and walked over to sit down with her on the little bench, from where they could watch the little girls play in the sand.

...

"This is not fair!" Bonnie was annoyed. Of course she had to be one of those first time moms that went way over the usual 40 weeks of pregnancy.

How was that even possible?! With all the added stress from being the anchor to the new Other Side and everything, you should think that she'd gone into labor two weeks ago. Guiding Elena's mom, her dad, and Jo over had taken a huge emotional toll on her after all, and had also physically exhausted her.

Had it not been for Enzo taking care of her, she wouldn't have made it off the couch for anything at all.

She was now at 41 weeks and one day of her pregnancy - 37 weeks and two days of which she'd had to be without her boyfriend - and the doctor had just informed her that it was time to cajole baby out a bit. The baby's amniotic fluid was running a bit low and it was time to get him out. They'd induce her.

Bonnie was suddenly terrified. She'd died, she'd lost people, she'd been a huntress and an anchor twice over, she was a powerful witch, she'd dealt with the worst threats, and she was terrified of having that baby.

She implored Enzo with her eyes, begging him to somehow make it be over already, but of course he could only look at her apologetically and assured her he wouldn't let her do this alone.

After all, he couldn't exactly birth the baby for her.

...

"I'm so sorry, love," he whispered hours later, when the induction had made her have a crazy storm of contractions and she could barely go on anymore.

Suddenly the baby's heart rate started dipping with every new wave of pain. Bonnie looked panicked from her OB to Enzo when the doctor explained to her that a c-section would now have to be baby's way out into the world.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Bennett, but it's taking too long. If the baby was a little closer to being born we could still let you try it naturally. But you've only dilated four centimeters in the last five hours. And that's simply too long for the little one."

She was crying by then, terrified and lost, but also a tiny bit relieved that someone was finally taking charge; and that the pain would stop.

Why wasn't there something a witch could do against that, anyways? Grams would probably have said something like, "Because it's nature's way." Bonnie rolled her eyes and almost laughed at the thought, before a sudden sadness overcame her. Grams should be there. Or at least her mom…

But Enzo was with her and he wouldn't go anywhere. It was all that really mattered.

Outside, Damon and Elena waited, because she'd wanted them there. For herself, and for Enzo. In case anything happened that was outside their control…

She hadn't told Enzo that, but she had had a weird feeling the last few nights. When she hadn't been able to get much rest yet again and her mind had gone crazy. She had thought that maybe her life would be coming to an end while she'd give birth to another. And it had scared her.

Enzo had picked up on her uneasiness, but she had assured him it was just the exhaustion and anxiety. She didn't want to worry him because she had some weird feelings.

But then, when she lay on the operating table, unable to feel her legs anymore, shaking horribly from the anesthesia and feeling the harsh tugs as they tore and pulled to get her baby out, the feeling was back, stronger than ever. She looked to where Enzo sat next to her, wearing a funny little plastic cap over his hair just like she did, and she smiled, though she wanted to cry.

"That's a good look for you," she whispered, trying to lighten her own mood, and he smiled at her. She could sense it, though, that there was something darker hidden behind his expression.

"I need more gauze!" Someone suddenly called out and everything got louder around her, more hectic. She zoomed in on Enzo, asking, "What's going on?"

She felt his grip on her hand tighten. "It'll be alright, love," he said, but it didn't sound so sure.

There were now even more people in scrubs bustling around her than before and then…

A cry. A baby's beautiful first gasp of air and shock upon entering the ice cold world outside the womb. Bonnie knew they were going to place the little guy on her chest now so she could snuggle and bond with him while they stitched her back up.

But when that didn't happen, and she saw Enzo's face turn more and more concerned as he masked obvious agitation, she started panicking.

"Am I… am I dying?" She choked out, and felt his breath on her face as he leaned in close. "I need you to concentrate on staying with me, love. Our baby is healthy. But now you need to concentrate on yourself. I'm right here with you..."

"Is the baby…"

"He's fine, Bonnie. A beautiful healthy boy. You'll get to see him soon."

But she wasn't so sure. She was not sure at all.

"It's happening, isn't it?" She was crying, still shaking uncontrollably, and she wasn't sure whether it was still just from the anesthesia of something else. Something worse.

"I was so afraid this would happen," she whined and Enzo frowned, but before he could reply anything, someone shoved him to the side and tried to escort him out.

"No!" she heard him hiss. "I'll stay with her. - Bonnie!"

Then she felt her vision start to blur and she called his name. Again and again, and again. Until…

…

No no no no no. This could not be happening. Enzo was torn between the incredible joy of having become a father and losing his child's mother. Bonnie couldn't die. She couldn't. He wouldn't know how to go on without her. She was everything.

But now he had a child, too, a child that he couldn't just leave alone. He'd have to stick around, if only for his baby's sake. He wouldn't ever leave that poor little guy alone.

His throat constricted. The strong smell of blood made it hard for him to rein in his feral vampire side as he stood to the side, letting the doctors do their thing. There was a hemorrhage…

Enzo felt like he couldn't breathe. Like time stood still. There were a million images of torture flickering through his mind only to stop right here, with Bonnie lying dying on a table. She was dying like he'd died a thousand times over. It was cold and lonely and painful, and nothing he'd ever wish on anyone, least of all his girl.

Time slowed down. He saw a nurse's face start falling, he heard someone yell, "We're losing her!"

It was so very cold.

"Bonnie, stay with me," someone implored her, "stay with me. Stay with me. Stay!" And he realized that it was him.

"We should call it."

"She just had a baby. Let's give it one more try."

"It's too late."

It was then that he knew there was no other way. His last chance. And even if she'd hate him forever, he couldn't not try…

So he sped forward, tore open his wrist and let his blood drip into her mouth, not caring who was there and how they stared at him, panicked and in shock. Some screamed, most ran away immediately, but he didn't care.

He knew he'd have to pull himself together, and fast. There was no time. So he took a deep breath and ran over to where a scared frozen nurse stood with his baby and he told her, "You'll give me my baby now and leave. None of this ever happened."

And she did. What to do about all the others that had run; he'd have to cross that bridge when he got there. Right now it didn't matter.

He held their baby tight against his body, then sat down next to Bonnie. He bent down, kissing her, leaning his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes and waited.

"I'm so sorry, love," he muttered and it felt like he'd told her that too many times already.

He heard the monitor continue to flatline into eternity.

…

Damon and Elena came running in as soon as they saw the OR team leave. It didn't need a genius to deduct that something bad had happened. But it needed two ex-vampires to immediately realize that a vampire's doing was probably the reason everyone was running.

"Bonnie?"

"Bon?"

Elena and Damon called out her name simultaneously as they slowed down upon reaching the OR. There was a lot of blood on the floor; gauze and operating tools lay haphazardly strewn across the room.

"Bonnie?" Elena's shocked voice came out as a hushed whisper. Her hand flew over her mouth when her eyes fell on her best friend's prone figure. "Oh my god, oh no…"

The young woman was unmistakably dead. Bonnie Bennett, her best friend. Tears filled Elena's eyes quickly. She exchanged a look with Damon, saw her pain mirrored in his face, but also saw him motion over to where Enzo was sitting as still as a statue, with a little something wiggling and crying in his arms.

"Enzo…" Damon said, his voice calm and even. He slowly approached his friend, he knew that a single too rash movement could set him off. "Enzo? Why don't we get out of here and get you and your baby-"

"I gave her my blood." Enzo suddenly straightened. He didn't look at Damon, only stared at his son.

"You… what?" Damon knew he'd heard it right. It still came as a shock. Bonnie Bennett had never wanted to be a vampire. She'd hated vampires for the longest time. She'd especially hated him. Damon almost smiled. "You are turning Bon Bon the vampire hater into a vampire?" He couldn't help the smirk appearing on his face. It was just a little too… funny.

Enzo glared at him then, and so did Elena. "Damon," she warned him, shaking her head, and he shrugged apologetically.

"You don't get to judge me, Damon," Enzo snarled, and Damon saw it for what it was, Enzo's defense mechanism. His friend was lashing out again. Because that was what he did when he thought he was losing someone, when he thought he'd lost control. When he was vulnerable…

"I'm not," he said, holding up his hands in a gesture of peace. "How could I ever judge you, Lorenzo? I understand." And because he knew that the other man needed to hear it, he added, "So will Bonnie. That woman loves you like crazy. Don't tear yourself up because you love her the same way and did what you had to do."

At that moment, Enzo's tears finally came. Damon had no idea how exactly he managed it, but he got Enzo to hand Elena the baby, while he then grabbed his friend and pulled him in for a hug. They stood a long time like that, with the dead Bonnie right next to them. Eventually, Damon got Enzo to sit down and they waited by Bonnie's side until she woke up.

Elena had quickly called Caroline to help with the mess Enzo had involuntarily created. She was now quite busy compelling a lot of people while they all waited for Bonnie.

Until finally...

...

Bonnie shot up with a gigantic gasp for air, as if she came up out of deep water after drowning. She looked around her, wild eyed, and clasped her throat. Then her eyes fell on Enzo and the baby that Elena had at some point returned into his arms.

Enzo's eyes were bloodshot.

She scrunched up her face, tears coming. It was real then. She had died.

Strangely, she felt like she had let him down and she apologized.

"Enzo, I'm so sorry, I…"

He'd gotten up to hold her, but when he heard her words, a choked laugh escaped him.

"You got nothing to apologize for, Bonnie Bennett." He helped her drape the sheet more around herself, then gently handed her the baby. She looked at him, her perfect little son, and her eyes welled up anew.

"Hello, baby," she whispered, and held the tiny human close to her. In a corner of her mind she knew what was going on, but a part of her still tried to block it out. She smiled at Enzo. But he had put some distance between them.

"Enzo?" She was frowning when she saw him clench his jaw, when she saw that look on his face before he turned away from her.

"I couldn't let you die, love." His voice sounded the saddest she'd ever heard it.

It finally sank in completely. "But I did, didn't I?" She whispered.

It took him a while before he silently nodded and looked down on the ground. There was still so much blood there. She sighed and it hurt her throat. Her tears ran down her cheeks. "Okay," she muttered. "Okay…"

He still didn't move. Bonnie was so sad for him suddenly, so overwhelmingly sad and sympathetic. She hoisted her legs over the edge and slowly slid off the table, a firm grasp on her beautiful little baby - their baby.

She stepped right in front of Enzo and cupped his chin, still a little awkward with the weight of life in her arms and her legs all wobbly, her stomach empty and numb - after all she did just have major abdominal surgery - and she told him, "It's okay."

"I couldn't let you die," he breathed. No more, and he broke down crying as she pulled him closer against her.

...

Later, after Bonnie had had some time to clean up and rest and try to feed her baby, she tried to joke about it all, to make it easier on Enzo. And herself.

"At least this happened in time for me to heal without a scar... And it'll be easy to make the transition with so much blood around here," she noted, sitting up in bed, but Enzo stared out the window gravely and she knew he couldn't forgive himself yet.

He'd turned her: Bonnie Bennett, who had never even liked vampires to begin with. And now she would be one.

Bonnie looked at him with so much love, but he felt like he didn't deserve it. He felt like he had somehow betrayed her.

"I'm sorry, love, I really am. I… got scared."

This big strong alpha male vampire had gotten scared… for her. Bonnie felt more love wash over her, but before she could say anything he continued, "I did it because I was selfish, and because I love you too much. I couldn't let you go."

"Enzo…"

He looked at her, throat working. He clenched his teeth, rubbed a hand over his eyes. "I'll understand if you don't want to… if you can't be with me after… everything."

"I…" Bonnie started before his words had actually processed, then, when they did, she blurted, "What?! No! Enzo, sweetheart, I understand. Okay? I understand." She looked for the right way to say it, his dark eyes on her. "I mean, I won't be fooling anyone, this will be tough for me. But, Enzo, I'm glad you gave me the gift of seeing our son grow up. Of living my life with you. - And I'm so so glad that it was you."

He grimaced at her, but Bonnie could tell that she'd finally gotten through to him. She saw new tears form in his eyes, just as there was a knock on the door, and he quickly stood up and faced the window.

Men, she thought, but with a warm feeling of love.

The door was opened and Elena poked her head in. Bonnie could see Damon hover behind her.

"Let's give them some privacy," she heard him urge his fiancée, but Elena shushed him.

"Can I just… are you guys alright? I just wanted to make sure you know that if you need anything, we're here for you."

Bonnie gestured for her to come inside, and her best friend was quickly by her side, giving her a gentle hug.

"He is the sweetest little baby!" Elena exclaimed, "Does he have a name yet?"

"James Ewan Bennett-St. John," Bonnie said quietly and looked down on her now sleeping newborn son. She knew he'd soon be up again, screaming for something, but right now he was blissfully out and she got to wallow in his beauty. "A name without baggage," she added quietly, and Elena squeezed her hand briefly, understanding.

Bonnie shot Enzo a glance and mouthed an 'I love you.'

And he finally smiled at her and did the same.

...

This one was so difficult to write. Let me know if I botched it. I had a first version written and then had to do some major editing before it felt even half right. Anyways.

As always: Thanks for the feedback!

Guest: I know, the scene with Jo was hard. - I'm happy you're still enjoying this and liked the scenes with Bonnie and Enzo. Those are my personal favorite to write. :)

Shadowdancer: Yes! I love all the friendships Damon has, actually. They're all so exciting. Because they're not easy, they confront him with who he was and who he is, Alaric and him always had a special connection. I'm also a fan of Bonnie and Damon as friends, and, well, him and Enzo. :) As for Bonenzo: yes, I so wish they'd given us more. I honestly grew to love them together so much. But my initial reaction upon that first kiss of theirs we saw in the flash forward was: how did we get there? And what they showed us wasn't really enough, or all that convincing. So I was hoping to kind of help with that, help people see how it could have gone while doing both characters justice. I'll let you and others be the judges of how I'm doing. :)