CHAPTER 10

Santana's POV:

... A month had passed…

Things were pretty much the same ; Spencer is still single, Rachel's still a diva, Sam is still a dork, Aria and Em has a thing going on,and...okay, so maybe it weren't the same after all, anyway, Hanna feels lonely, while Quinn and I, well, I am always in love with Quinn Fabray, nothing's ever gonna change that.

"Mercedes? I thought you're..." I heard Quinn's voice as she opens her room's door. Shock was evident in her eyes as when she saw me.

"Surprise?" I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Santana." she said breathlessly, her eyes shining as ever.

"Don't I get a hug or something?" I said and pout.

She just smiled, she pinched me in the cheeks. "Wow, I...you're really here." she said as she was shaking her head in disbelief.

She's too cute, I can't help but chuckle. "You know, usually, when people think they're dreaming, they pinch themselves and not the person they're with." I said then I hold her hands that's still on my cheeks.

Without further a due, she pulled me inside her dorm room and closed the door. Then hugged me after. How i missed her. Because she's been busy with her studies, she wasn't able to come home for a month.

"I missed you." was all I could say while I'm wrapped with her arms.

"I love you." she said as she tightened the hug.

"'I missed you too' would've been fitting but your answer is good too." I was the one too pull away. "So, what have you been up to?"

She motioned me to sit at their couch as she sat too. "Well, I've been making this research...and then there's this math problems that I have to solve that's due on Monday. And-"

"I guess I have a bad timing, huh?" I frowned. I don't want to be her distraction from studies.

She looked at me like she didn't know what to say because I'm most probably right. "Well, aren't you going to help me with math problems?" she smiled happy that she thought of something to reply to me.

I scoffed. "Yeah, cause that's totally what I came here for." I said that to tease her but she seemed to take it seriously based on the pout that she's making. "I'm just messing with you. I came here to be with you, and we're together now, so even if it meant I have to squeeze my brain to solve those math problems I'd do it."

Okay, so that statement totally paid off because she's smiling her biggest smile and that totally made my day, beside the 'i love you' that she said a while ago.

"You're the best girlfriend ever." She sat on my lap and put her arms around my neck. And then the next thing I know is that my eyes are closed and we're nose to nose. And if my heart was beating fast whenever I'm with Quinn, my heart is totally pounding wildly now.

But I totally weren't thinking that she's going to kiss me or anything. So I wasn't totally disappointed when she didn't.

She cleared her throat as a cue that I should open my eyes. "I, um...you must be thirsty, I'll just get us something to drink."

Emily's POV:

"Are you worried about what other people might think?" Aria asked me.

"Well, aren't you?" Is all I could answer. Because answering her question leads into a realization that I'm not even sure I'd like.

Then her face contorted a little. "I'm scared of what they can do to us. I'm afraid of what you think."

Her tone was determined, with hope that we were on the same page. I wanted to answer her, but I wasn't sure what to say.

She sighed in defeat. "Forget it. I'm just going to leave now." She stands up, grabbed her pouch and walked out.

I didn't know if I should follow her. What change will it make if I did? It wouldn't make my fears go away, it wouldn't make me love Hanna any less. But I followed her anyway, because I didn't want her to think that I didn't care, because I do.

"Aria! Wait up." I said after being on a trance. I ran because she was halfway out my door and she walked faster to reach our front door. Good thing we were alone in the house, I wouldn't have to explain why I'm running and shouting at the house. "Aria Montgomery!"

She finally turned around to face me, with her arms crossed of course. And a pout which is a total mood killer because that kind of make me smile.

"What?" she asked seriously.

I took a deep breath first. "Look, we were okay this past few weeks so why is it a big deal to you, changing whatever is this that we have?"

"That's the problem, Emily. You don't know what this is. And I don't know either. I'm not good with labels but whatever this is, it has to mean something."

"And it does. It means something: I love you." I answered with at most sincerity. "I'm asking you to just let it be. What harm could it cost us?"

"It means that I can lose you, whenever, Emily." She stated like it was the most obvious thing on Earth. "One day, when you realize that you can't live with her, and that you want to be with each other, you can just pretend that we didn't have anything special. Just like that, because that's where you're good at. You're so great at pretending that you don't care that sometimes, I believe it too." she said in frustration. "I always try to read between the lines but sometimes I don't like what I was reading into it."

"Well, congratulations, because that will never happen. She'll never love me in that way." I said bitterly after an incredulous laugh.

I noticed her shoulders fell. "I take it back. Maybe we did, never had anything special." She said indifferently. She tried to leave but I stopped her.

"I didn't mean it like that. You're not a rebound, okay?" I'm the worst person ever. This is why I don't want to commit or promise her anything, because it would complicate everything more; especially when I'm not sure if I could keep it.

"Well you sure make me feel like one." She said briefly, and coldly. But she didn't seem cold to me, she seemed really vulnerable, and it broke my heart to pieces.

"I'm sorry. If I'm making it hard on you." I really feel guilty. Somehow I already know that she probably feel that way but it's still different hearing her say it. I took steps closer to her so I could hold her hand, hoping that it would somehow make her feel better.

She just shook her head in defeat. "I hate it when I don't know where I stand, Em. So if you couldn't tell me, then maybe I'm supposed to start walking."

And with that she left. Again. And this time I let her. Because I didn't know what else to say. I didn't know where we stand either. I honestly don't know what to even think.

Quinn's POV:

Santana and I were currently having a conversation about some random stuff when I heard a knock on the door. "I'm just going to get that."

I reached for the door and swing it open. Today sure is full of surprises. Last time I checked, it wasn't my birthday. "Mom?"

"Hi Quinnie." Then she wrapped me in a hug.

"Uhm. What are you doing here?" I asked politely.

She pulled away to face me. "Well, your father was on a business trip, so I thought it'd be a good idea to visit my daughter."

I smiled. "Wow. You're…"

She didn't let me finish. "Aren't you going to let me in?"

"Oh yeah. Sorry Mom. I'm just surprised." Very. "Come in."

I lead her inside. I didn't think she would get suspicious with Santana. She's my friend after all. Just a friend in my mother's eyes.

As soon as Santana saw my mom she stood up. "Mrs. Fabray." She greeted nicely.

"Santana. You're here." My mom said in a surprised but calm kind of way.

San just chuckled. "I missed your daughter that much." She said genuinely.

"That's really sweet of you, dear." My mom replied.

"Mom, take a seat." I butt in.

All of us sat on the sofa. Of course I was in between. Well, this is going to be awkward. Sure, my mom and Santana are used to have a conversation, but this is different. They never really talked for more than 10 minutes. Plus the fact that this day was supposed to be my day with Santana. I love my mom, I do, but I've been waiting for Santana to show at my doorstep to surprise me for like, forever.

Spencer's POV:

"Someone's in a bad mood." I stated after minutes of watching Aria play with her food and pout.

She just sighed.

"Mind telling me what's wrong?" I'm sure she was expecting that question. She should because she called me to meet up at McDonalds. She hates it here, I mean, she pretends to hate it here.

"I'm just bored to death." She said plainly.

"You do know you're playing with your fries, right? Your fries." It's her favorite, her comfort food. "Just tell me what's bothering you, that not even your comfort food can comfort you."

She licked her lips before she speak. "Remember the time when I told you about my first kiss?"

This is interesting. "Yeah." I leaned on the table so I could hear her better.

"Well, the person in question; we've been seeing each other lately. At first I was really happy, but later on, even when we're together, I couldn't really be with the person in question, because there are unsaid words between us."

"And…you couldn't tell him that?" I simply asked.

"That's the thing. I told her." She said emotionally. Wait…did I heard her right?

"You told her?"

"Yeah. I told her." So I did hear her right. And she realized it too based on the unreadable expression in her face. And now, I was speechless.

The feeling was mutual: awkward. Not really, just…I think we were both not ready for that moment.

And now she's biting her lip and I was playing with my fingers, and there's that silence in the air.

Until she cleared her throat, then took a deep breath, then opened her mouth, then closed it again, then sighed, then looked at me, then spoke. "Genius hermit."

Now, what did she say? "Genius hermit?"

"In our last conversation here. You referred to her as genius hermit." Oh. Her. Now, I surely don't know what to feel.

I mean, it isn't…right. But I know Santana, and I'm friends with her, and her liking girls; it was okay. And at times I'm actually, genuinely happy for her when she gets the girl that she wants.

"Ugh. I wasn't supposed to tell you that yet." Aria snapped me out of my trance.

It was my turn to clear my throat and take a deep breath, and open my mouth although I still don't know what to say. So I closed it again.

She shook her head. "You don't have to say anything."

Hanna's POV:

We were in the park, Caleb and I, for one, because I really don't feel comfortable hanging in his house, alone with him. We've had a few conversations just like what we usually do on weekends, the time before all the conflicts happened.

"Hanna, have you thought about it? About us?" he decided to go to that topic after half an hour of talking about how Stefan and Caroline is better off together because they're great friends, and stuff like that. And half an hour of just talking.

"I don't want you to be my human band-aid, Caleb." I told him truthfully.

He just laughed it off. "And why would I be your human band-aid, Hanna?"

"Because." When he saw my expression, his facial expression changed too, like he knew a storm would hit him. "I don't know if, I could give you my love completely." I wasn't so sure how to put it, to make it least painful.

"But I'm not asking you for a hundred percent, Han." He said like he's bargaining.

I smiled at him sadly and took a hold of his hand. "It's just that I'm really confused, Caleb. I want to be with you, I think that would really be nice. But not like this. Not when I'm not even sure if I'm in love with only you."

She shook his head in denial. "So you're saying that there's someone else?" That was the third time I saw fear in his eyes. The first time was when he asked me if he could court me. The second was when I fell on the stairs.

I didn't say anything.

"How? When?" He asked frantically. "Who is he?" I flinched at the pronoun that he used. Suddenly my worry doubled.

"A great friend of mine." Was the best way I could put it.

"Ironic, isn't it? Well, I take back the Stefan and Caroline thing." He said trying to light up the conversation a bit. He chuckled but it didn't reach his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do this to you. I know you've been really waiting." I apologized. I hate myself right now. Caleb's really a good guy, he does not deserve this.

"And I'll keep on waiting." He said persistently. And although sadness was still visible in his eyes, there was hope there. And I'm not so sure if I should take that positively.

"Caleb-"

He placed his right index finger on my lips to stop me from talking. "Waiting for you is better than doing nothing at all with you, Hanna. So I'm going to wait, until you tell me that you're sure that I'm not the right one for you."

I sighed. It was not a disappointed sigh. Just a speechless sigh.

"Unless…You're just trying to shoo me away." He added.

I nudged his arm. "Of course not." Then I gave him a warm smile.

When he tightened his grip on my hand, I realized that I was still holding his hand. "I love you. Seriously, I do." He told me sincerely. "And whoever he is, I'm sure, he can't love you like I do."

"I love you too." I answered. And I'm not even lying when I said that. Because I love him. I know I love him more than a friend, but I'm not so sure anymore if I love him most.

Rachel's POV:

Contrary to some of my friends' belief, I'm aware, very much aware that Santana is hopelessly in love with Quinn. And still hopelessly in love with Quinn. It's like the most obvious thing ever. I think Emily told Santana that, but Santana kept on denying it. Like denying it would make it any less true.

I know I can't completely blame her, because of my and Spencer's open disapproval for those kind of relationships, but we are her friends, we have to know, and she should've told us, nonetheless.

Anyway, I love my friend Santana, so when I saw her very first girlfriend walks past me; I grabbed the chance to talk to her.

"Brittany!" I called her name out loud not minding that I was in a public place. "Britt!" when she looked at me, I waved my hand enthusiastically.

She had a big grin on her face when she saw me. And walked towards me. "Rachel!" then she wrapped me in a hug; a tight one.

"You're in town. Since when?" I asked immediately, without beating around any bushes.

"I arrived since Saturday. How are you?" she asked bubbly.

"With 'you', you mean Santana? She's not doing very well." I answered, although I'm quite aware that she means all of us, I had to let her know how her ex-girlfriend is doing.

Alas. She still cares for Santana, judging by the way her face fell. "Why?"

"How would you like to talk about all of it in an ice cream parlor?" I suggested.

She smiled. "I'd love that."

So after I told her the story…

"Wow. That's pretty messed up." She stated.

"Yeah. It is." I agreed.

"Wait!" she exclaimed, and I looked at her in confusion because I wasn't going anywhere. "It's her birthday today, isn't it? April 15."

My smile grew bigger because she remembered. "That's very much indeed correct, Brittany."

"I almost forgot what day it is." She said rather disappointed but relieved.

"Well, you don't have any classes so that's understandable." I stated.

She smiled. "Uhm. Rach? Can I…excuse myself?"

"What? Why?" I need her to make Santana happier on her birthday. Although, I really don't like Santana being in a relationship with girls, I'd rather see her date Brittany again than see her devastatingly sad.

I would've tried setting her up with boys but the last time I did that, she went all Lima Heights on me.

She suddenly looked shy. "I…knitted a scarf for Santana. As a gift. And I was planning to give it to her."

"Oh." My smile grew bigger. "So you're going home and give the scarf to her?"

"That's the plan. Could you…give it to her on my behalf?"

"What? No, give it to her yourself, Britt. I'm sure she'd be happy to see you." I assured her.

"I don't know, Rach. I broke her heart." She said sadly.

I suddenly felt like this was a reckless act, I just did. But, it's obvious that Brittany still loves Santana, and Quinn is too straight to love Santana back. This is for the best right?

"You broke each other's heart, Brittany. Maybe it's your job to mend each other's hearts as well." I replied sincerely.

Sam's POV:

"You did what?" I asked Rachel after I heard her most ridiculous story.

"It's my gift for our friend, Sam. Aren't you rooting for Brittany when we were still in high school?" she can be really clueless at times.

"That was high school, Rach. We grew up. You might be an exemption for that, but things are different now. Santana has moved on. You shouldn't have done that." I said with depression.

"I was doing her a favor." She answered stubbornly, not getting my point.

"You shouldn't stick your nose in their business. It was a year and a half ago. They both decided to end it."

"It's not like I commanded Brittany to make a move again." She reasoned.

"I know, but you shouldn't have told her about Quinn. That's not our place to tell. Of course she would think that she has to make Santana feel better. She always does." I said.

"Yes. Because she loves Santana." Rachel being Rachel annoys me, once again.

"Just because you love someone, doesn't mean you have to be with that person. Sometimes you just have to let them go and live their life…without you, if it's for the better." I quoted that quote that a friend of mine told me.

She scoffed. "Is that why you let her go?" she asked with pure curiosity. I do not like where this is going.

"I don't know why on earth you told me your latest encounter with Brittany, but all I'm going to say is; Again, you made the wrong decision." I said nonchalantly.

Since she was finished with her animated story, she then decided to take a seat beside me, and took my hand with both her hands. Then I shot her a confused look.

"Emma was a great girl, Sam. And you two, did look good together. If you still love her you should try to get her back." Rachel said quietly, unfortunately and fortunately, in her gentlest voice ever.

"You know that's not appropriate. Do you know why I am still single, right now?" That wasn't really a question question. It was because Emma didn't love me. That's why we were never exclusive. So how am I supposed to take her back, if she was never even mine in the first place?

Rachel seemed to know why, because she fell silent…for a while. "I'm going to get you a girl." She said decisively.

"You're kidding, right? You can't even get yourself a decent boyfriend." I appreciate the concern, but not the idea.

"What's that, Sam? I didn't quite understand you. Probably 'cause I don't speak douche." Rachel can be snarky sometimes, ironically, I like her that way.

Santana's POV:

Well, this is a great day. I'm with my girlfriend and her mom. And the best part is; when I tried to hold my girlfriend's hand, she immediately pulled it away the moment my hand touched hers, like she was burnt or something. That didn't hurt at all. Nope.

After hours of what seemed like forever, Mrs. Fabray decided to go home after she got a call from someone. "Bye, Quinnie." She kissed Quinnie on the forehead. "Santana, aren't you going home yet? I'll give you a ride." She offered.

"Thanks, Mrs. Fabray. But I'll just stay a bit longer. Make the best out of this trip." I declined her offer kindly. And Quinn gave me a big grin.

"Well, okay then. Enjoy, girls. I'll be leaving now."

"Have a safe trip, Mrs. Fabray." "Have a safe trip, Mom" Quinn and I said in chorus. By that she drove off.

We headed to Quinn's dorm room. Then I stopped my tracks in front of their doorstep.

"San. Aren't you coming in?" she asked after she realized I didn't follow her.

"I just walked you here. I'm going home." I said plainly.

She stepped out again. "San…I'm sorry. This was supposed to be our day."

"It could've been." I said coldly.

She shrugged her shoulders in defeat. "Are you mad?" she sounded like I have no right to be. "I'm sorry, San. I didn't know my mother will show up here, just as much as I didn't know you'd come here."

"Sorry if I didn't give you the memo, princess." I said with an incredulous laugh.

"That is seriously beside the point." She stated.

"You want to know what's the point? The point is" I started, "I'm your girlfriend." And I whispered that part. "But you couldn't even hold my hand in front of everyone else, in front of your mom as a friend. That's my point."

She sighed. "Santana we talked about this."

"No we didn't. We talked about keeping this relationship a secret, but we never agreed on you treating me like a stranger. Your mom was even friendlier than you are." I pointed out.

She pursed her lips trying to keep herself calm. "Can we at least go inside, for a moment?"

"Friends fight." I said stubbornly.

She took a deep breath. "Seriously?"

"I'm going home." I insisted. And walked away. Of course she didn't follow me. Who am I kidding?

I felt my phone vibrate when I was already on my trip home. It's Quinn. I could be really hardheaded and not answer, but its Quinn…

"San." Was all she said, it sounded pleading; I knew she meant she's sorry, and at the same time she's glad I answered the phone.

"I'm sorry." I breathed.

"I never wanted to keep you a secret, San. I know our relationship is complicated but don't give up on me, please. I love you. Don't be mad at me." She sounded like she's going to cry. And suddenly I felt guilty.

"Q. I'm not mad at you. I just…" it's my birthday today, and you didn't even greet me. "I just—I have to be by myself for a while. I'll just call you when I get home."

"I love you." She whispered on the phone.