CHAPTER 11

Santana's POV:

"Brittany." I uttered in surprise. I didn't expect to see her here.

"I thought you're never going home." she said in relief. That smile. I missed it. I'm not sure what I was supposed to say, good thing she knew what to do' she hugged me. "I missed you, San." she then pulled away, "Happy birthday."

That was the first personal greeting I received today and it made me feel giddy...and sad at the same time because it would've been so much better hearing that from Quinn. "Thank you, Brittany." then I smiled at her genuinely.

"Here." she handed me a rainbow colored scarf. Of course it's going to be rainbow. "I don't like it when you're cold, so...it'll keep you warm, even when you're alone." Brittany. The classic Brittany.

I couldn't help but smile at her. Then I hugged her. "Thank you, Britt-Britt. Really."

"There's my nickname. I missed it." she said pulling away from the hug.

"I missed hearing that too." my mom interrupted coming from the kitchen. "Brittany, are you sure you don't want to have dinner with us?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine, thanks for the offer though." then she smiled politely at my mom.

"Are you going home? I can walk you. I didn't know you were here." I said. She lives next door so I would know if she arrived, right? Did she came home for my birthday? As if; I laughed at myself. What am I thinking?

"It's better outside, don't you think?" I knew she wanted to talk outside so we did. "I was here since Saturday. I...didn't know what to say to you so, I've been trying to be incognito."

"Well, you're getting better at hiding." I said in a joking manner. And we both chuckled. "Any specific reason why you return home?"

"You?" she said briefly. Then she looked at me straight in the eyes.

"You're kidding, right?" I sounded hopeful. I mean I asked her because I wanted that to be a joke because I wouldn't know how to respond if she was serious, but then, I also wanted to hear that it's because of me it would be nice to know that some people continue to love you, even when you're apart.

So when she chuckled. I was relieved and disappointed. "I'm just messing with you." I laughed, and it was an awkward laugh or forced rather. "You know my Dad's sick, right?"

"Yeah." Right. I almost forgot that part. "His going to get through this."

"I know. He's awesome like that." She said confidently. Our eyes met, and we both smiled at each other. My eyes met her blue eyes, the ones that I missed so much. But the moment I close my eyes all I see is hazel eyes.

"Why aren't we in touch for a year, again?" I asked her bluntly.

She smiled at me. "I don't know, Santana. We were both holding back each other. And I know, if I kept in touch, I won't be able to let go."

I just huffed. "Why can't we go back to just being friends, Britt?" Seriously. We had a great friendship. I never understand what happened with that.

She laughed, and it was not similar to her usual laugh, it was…sad. "Maybe because we were never just friends, San. From the beginning, there was something there; even though it took long for us to realize that."

And she was right. Maybe that was the reason. And it made me even sadder. But she's still my best friend, nonetheless. "I love you, Britt." Maybe we can't go back to being just friends, but we can start over and be just friends.

"Yeah. Let's try to be friends. Like real platonic best friends." She was always the one better with words. "I love you too, San." We had one last hug and she decided to go home.

When I entered the room there was this big package; which has no name tag whatsoever. "Mom!" I called out.

My mother entered my room. "How long was this box in here?"

"It arrived this morning. It's from Quinn. Didn't she tell you?" From Quinn? She remembered. Oh my-she remembers. She remembered and I was pissed about her for not remembering. I'm such an ass. I even snapped at her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked frustrated. Quinn must feel really bad.

"You told me you were going to her. So I assumed that you'd know." My mom reasoned.

I sighed. Then I opened the box immediately after my mom left me; it was stuffed animal; a frog to be specific. I'm not really into stuffed animals but this is from Quinn, so I hugged it; tight. 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you…' I heard Quinn's singing voice. She's singing. For me. 'I'm sorry I'm not going to be with you on your special day. I'm sorry for myself, because I'm dying to see you. I love you. Santana Lopez. You're my nothing, because from what I heard, they last forever.'

If I wasn't crying the moment I heard her voice, I surely am now. That was…peachy. Shit. If only I could go back to Yale. I know I couldn't just do that so I did the closest thing; call her.

"San." I hated the immediate feeling that the sound brought me; she sounded like she's been crying.

"Q." I felt guilt, and it hit me bad.

"Are you home now?" she asked. And I nodded as if she could see me, and she probably did, "Thank God, you're home safe." I know she was relieved but I also knew that wasn't what she actually wants to say.

"I'm sorry I made you cry." I said sincerely.

She didn't even bother denying. "I'm sorry I ruined your day."

I shook my head. "Q. Stop. You didn't. You make my day. Everyday. I'm sorry for being mad at you."

"You have the right to be, S. I just-" I shushed her.

"Maybe I was a little pissed because I couldn't openly show my love for you too other people, but I snapped at you because…" my voice lowered, "I thought you forgot my birthday."

"You what? I—didn't you receive the package?" she asked worriedly.

"I did. I-I didn't know you delivered me the package until I came home. I'm sorry." I felt really guilty, I really am.

She sighed. But it wasn't a sigh-sigh. It was a relieved sigh. And the thought that she was more relieved than mad (because I was mad at her for nothing) made me smile. "I didn't expect you to come here. I mean, I was supposed to visit you. Not that I'm really going to-but it didn't come to my mind that you would effort that much on your birthday because it is your birthday-"

"Q. Quinn!" I exclaimed to stop her from rambling although she's totally cute when she does that.

"Sorry."

"Thank you…for the frog. And thank you, for loving me. Thank you for being brave to love me." I said in my sincerest tone.

"Trust me. It's more of a selfish act." She said in a husky voice. There was silence. But it wasn't awkward. We were just both happy to hear each other's breathing.

I chuckled. "So I'm your nothing, huh?" she contemplated for a while then laughed.

"That. Yeah. People always say nothing lasts forever. So I figured…"

"Dork."

"Isn't that your type?"

"I'd say that's accurate." And I stayed all night with the smile on my face. Best. Birthday. Ever. My day didn't ended with an 'I love you' from Quinn. Instead it ended with a nothing; a start of forever.

Spencer's POV:

It's important to know what you're feeling…

I heard that from somewhere, and I know that's true: It is important to know what you feel, because the only way to heal it is to feel it.

But the thing is; that's hard to for me to do that. For someone like me who's been told to 'Fake it till you make it' or 'Smile to the world and the world will smile back at you.', of course I would think that if I ignore these feelings, it might just vanish.

I just found out that Aria is in love with our friend. Our girl friend. And it should be okay to me, because I was okay with Santana. But it isn't…

How come they make it seem so easy to love that way? Because when I felt it; it sure is not easy. When I felt that same feeling; I refused to feel it. And Aria and Santana made it seemed like it was so easy to feel that way and suddenly I was lost. And it wasn't fair.

I did my best to neglect those kinds of feelings. I did my best to not acknowledge that feeling, I struggled to become adept denying and repressing how I feel.

"But why?" I thought to myself not realizing I actually said it.

She furrowed her brows. "Sorry, what?"

"Why her? Why would you fall for her?" I repeated my question clearer.

She shrugged.

"Are you asking me? Or are you questioning me?" she simply responded.

It was my turn to furrow my brows, although I totally knew what she meant. "Both, I guess." I shrugged. It was not the time to beat around bushes.

"I don't know." She said with a smile on her face. "I honestly don't know." Then her smile grew bigger. She didn't know why she loved somebody and she was totally okay with it; in fact, she is happy. And I didn't quite understand why. It was hard enough for me to try to understand why I have to have those kinds of feelings, while she's sitting there, and doesn't mind at all.

"You don't know?" I just felt like repeating her answer.

"I think the better question is: why did I pursue it. Why didn't I fight it? I'm much capable of answering that question, Spence." Aria said.

"Why didn't you fight it?" so I asked her, because that might be a better question. The opposite of the question I've been asking myself.

"Because I've never felt a feeling this strong. I kept asking myself why I have these feelings, then one day I woke up and I realized that it doesn't matter. When you feel something this strong you don't just stand there and wait for the answers to come to you; you have to act on it. So I did." And at that moment I felt like she was talking straight to me. Like those words was for me. And it made me quiver; because she was right.

She was so caught up by what she's saying that she didn't notice that I was so affected by her words. "It didn't matter anymore if this is real love, all that mattered was the fleeting feeling I feel when I see her and that continuous thumping beating of my heart when I'm with her." If I was in my normal state I would've teased her on how pathetic she sounded when she breathed dreamingly.

I cleared my throat. I felt the need of getting out there because she's provoking these feelings to come out, and I wouldn't appreciate it that much. "How long have you been practicing that speech?" I settled for that question.

"Ever since I watched 'The Art of Getting By'. Decent movie." She said casually. I was so close on admiring her for that speech. "I didn't get that from that movie by the way. I was just inspired by it." Fair enough.

I am okay with her liking girls. I can deal with that. But liking Emily? Really? "When you said you're seeing each other lately, do you mean that as a-"

"In a more intimate meaning." She confirmed. That should be okay. Right? It's obvious that Santana likes Quinn in that way and I didn't seem to have any problem with it. So it should be okay that Aria loves Emily in that way, right? I should be okay with it.

"I just—I think I need some air. That was too much information for one day." Who am I kidding? Of course I wasn't okay with it. We're talking about Emily.

"So I guess you're not okay with all of these, huh?" she asked me seriously. I wanted to answer 'Nope. I honestly am not.' But that would've been harsh and she might get the wrong idea.

"Trust me. I don't mind you dating a girl." Just not Emily. At least not now. It would be painful for me.

Emily's POV:

So since Santana wasn't here yesterday, we decided to celebrate her birthday today, which means, I'd have to face Hanna and Aria at the same time. And I'm worried because I can't ruin this day for Santana.

I knocked on the door. Santana opened it for me. "Hey" she said as she opened the door for me, I kissed her in the cheek before I came inside.

"Happy birthday, Sis." I greeted her as I handed my gift.

"Thanks, Sis." She smirked. I know she's not used with those kinds of names of endearments. But she is my sister from other parents. "Do I get to open it now?"

"Well, it is yours now. But I suggest you open it later on." I replied.

She raised her eyebrow, intrigued with what I just gave her. Anyways, we walked towards the couch where Brittany, Aria, Spencer and Sam sat. We aren't really one for crowded parties, I mean we do party but not when it comes to birthdays. We prefer intimate celebrations at said occasions.

"Didn't expect you to be early, Fields." I heard a familiar voice coming from the kitchen. She walked towards us. She winked at me when I faced her.

"Kitty. Didn't expect you here." I said bemused; when I said 'intimate celebrations' I meant with our close friends, not past girlfriends, so I didn't expect her here, really. Not that I mind though. Kitty might be a bitch but she's been really nice to Santana.

"Don't worry, Em. I won't bite. Besides I came here for Santana, not you…" she shrugged and smiled sweetly and sat beside Brittany.

"Wouldn't be surprised if you came here for me though" I joked. It's not a secret anymore right? Santana has definitely a thing for blonde girls. Good thing she didn't had a thing on Hanna though. I just sat on the chair opposite to Kitty.

"Ha-ha. You wish." She laughed sarcastically, and rolled her eyes.

"You still fight like a couple." Sam interjected and the rest of them laughed.

"I totally knew Emily was the reason for our break-up." Santana remarked.

Kitty slapped Santana's arm lightly. "You broke up with me, bitch." Kitty mumbled.

That made us chuckle. "I was just kidding. Does that reaction mean you still has a thing for me?" Santana asked in a teasing tone.

"Is this your plan? I knew I was invited here for a reason." Kitty said dramatically. "I just didn't thought this would be your kind of entertainment; messing with me."

"Hey. I invited you because I missed you." Santana said in a joking manner but we know she meant it.

We talked about random things especially about thing back in high school while we were waiting for our other friends to come.

"By the way, where are your parents, San? I asked curiously.

"They went out of town for a week. Dad has this conference out of town, and wanted us to come, but I decided not to because I'd just miss you there anyways." She explained.

I just nodded in response.

There was finally a knock on the door, which might be Hanna or Rachel, or both. "I'd get it, San." I heard Brittany presented.

After a while Brittany was back with another beautiful blonde beside her. Or may I say more beautiful blonde for my taste; Hanna. I think no one in the world could look as good as her with a V-neck Burnout Top and a floral print shorts on. And it hurts how she's not with me tonight. At least she's not with Caleb.

Finn, Puck and Rachel and Kurt came with the karaoke, of course, who else would bring it.

The party went on pretty well. The good thing about having a party/sleepover like this is that everybody knows everyone and everyone talks to everyone. Well, except, me and Hanna, and me and Aria.

Finn and Rachel are currently having a duet. Sam and Aria are having another petty argument like grade school-ers. Santana, Kitty and Puck are drinking too much for my liking, while having a chat with Brittany and Hanna and Kurt who's kind of busy choosing his song from the songbook. And Spencer is talking with me although she lost me at her first word actually.

"Spence." I, myself is a bit drunk. Not really, I'm in the influence of an alcohol but I'm not drunk.

"Yeah?" her head shoot at my direction.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch what you were saying just now." I said.

She chuckled. "I stopped talking for some time now, Ms. Fields. You're zone out for minutes now."

Oops. I chuckled too. "Sorry, Babe." Like I said, I'm not drunk, so I'm sure Spence tensed with what I said. And she's wearing her 'unknown expression' again. She always have that expression every now and then, and I really don't know why. "Did I say something wrong?"

Her head snapped at my direction. "What?" Her face was Spencer like again. I just shrugged. Maybe I am just imagining things. "You're drunk, aren't you?"

"No…I don't get drunk, Spence." I said defensively.

"You better not be." She said with authority.

"Hey, if you keep drink I'm sure you're gonna get drunk first before I do." I stated. I raised my eyebrows.

"We'll see." She said and gulped the liquor that she grabbed from my hand. Now that is un-Spencer like.

"You do know you're like, challenging me, right?" I said in an amused tone. She nodded. Oh it's on, Babe." I recently had the habit on calling everyone my age that.

Santana's POV:

Rachel and Finn's song is finally over and it's now Kurt and Sam who's singing.

"Santana." Aria whispered in my ear and handed me her phone. Oh shit. It's Quinn. I stood up and went outside.

"Babe." I started. She's probably been calling my phone which unfortunately, I forgot upstairs. I bit my lip, nervously waiting for her response.

"You shouldn't have told me that you'd call at exactly 7pm, San." She sounded tired and sad. I'm the worst girlfriend ever.

"I'm really sorry, Babe. I was caught up with the party-"

"That you forgot me." She said; it wasn't a question. She didn't sound mad, which made me feel even worse. She was just genuinely sad.

"Q…You know that's not-" true. She cut me off again.

"Sorry." She's playing the 'kill her with kindness' technique. And it's working.

"Quinn, don't be like that, please. I thought about calling you…" I tried to reason.

"But you didn't. Because?" She waited for my response.

"I'm drunk." I said shyly. I heard her sigh.

"I'd rather talk with you drunk than not talk to you at all." She stated matter-of-factly that made my heart melt.

"I'm really sorry, Q. I know you don't like it when I drink…" I really feel guilty. Doesn't alcohol supposed to take away disturbing feelings?

"I don't like it when you break your promises too." Quinn said indifferently.

"I'm really sorry. I wanted to get drunk so I wouldn't miss you too much." I breathed deeply. "I wish you were here, Q."

"What?" she whispered in a yelling kind of way. "So you're telling me I'm the reason you're drunk?"

"I don't think I'm drunk anymore, Q. And it has something to do with you. I'd throw up all the liquor that I've taken if it meant I'd be able to see you." I said sweetly.

She scoffed. "Good thing I'm here then, huh? You wouldn't have to do that." So maybe I'm drunk after all. I think I heard her say she's… "Surprise?" she said in the same manner I did when I visited her, as she appeared from the gate, and then she stretched her arms open.

I'm sure my eye widened and I literally dropped Aria's phone. I immediately walked towards her, but unfortunately, I tripped; epic fail. She runs towards me to help me up. "Are you okay?" if she didn't sound so worried I would've rolled my eyes at her. Why would I be okay? I tripped when it almost felt like I'm inside a sappy romantic movie ending.

I smirked at her. "I'm definitely okay now." I remembered, she here; why wouldn't I be okay? I was about to give her a peck on the lips but she placed my hands on my lips.

"You really are drunk." She stated. I forgot that she's not ready for first base. You see, my girlfriend is conservative. She just kissed me on my left cheek instead. Held my hand and walked inside.

Quinn's POV:

I know Santana had girlfriends before, and lots of flings. And I'm not stupid to not know that she had kissed them. And that's probably a casual thing for her, which worries me at times because I can't give her that satisfaction, at least not now.

When we entered the room I saw Brittany immediately. Of course by that time I let go of Santana's hands. We never actually met, but Santana has a picture of her in her wallet, always. But that was before she started subtly hitting on me, at least that's what I'm aware of.

If looks could kill, well, Brittany might not kill me because she looks at me differently. It was a gentle one; like she's happy for me, and for Santana. I don't know if that should make me happy, because I suddenly felt insecure. Isn't she threatened? Or she just has actually moved on? Then I remembered that Santana and I was still a secret so she probably still doesn't know about us.

"You might want to bring me back my phone, San." I heard Aria say.

"What phone?" Santana tried to remember. 'Oh the one I dropped earlier." Aria looked at her unbelievably. "It's safe outside." Santana said casually. Aria glared at her and so did I. "Don't worry; I'll get it for you."

"So you weren't kidding?" Aria said bemused. "You're really…" she pointed at San. "Urgh." She said in frustration.

Our friends and Santana's friends greeted me, they seem very welcoming, even Brittany. "Hi. You must be Quinn." She reached her hand out. "I'm Brittany."

I took her hand. "Nice to finally meet you." I said genuinely. So this is how being around her feels like. It might be just my insecurities, but I feel uneasy.

"Uhm, Quinn, this is Kitty." Santana introduced the shorter blonde. "My ex-girlfriend." She continued. Oh. We shook hands.

"Ha-ha-ha, Lopez. Nice of you to emphasize the 'ex'part." She rolled her eyes. She seemed pretty intoxicated. She didn't let go of my hand just yet. "I see you're blonde. You better run before she hits on you." She remarked in a joking manner.

We chuckled. "It might be too late for that." I joked but Santana and I know that's actually true.

Kitty arched her brow on Santana then looked at me. "You didn't fall for her did you?"

"I actu-" I was about to answer but Santana interjected.

"She's the YALE girl who broke my heart into pieces." Santana said dramatically. I know it was part of the past but knowing that she talked to other people how much she's in pain before; it wasn't exactly a good feeling.

Kitty's mouth basically formed an O-shape. "YALE girl finally had a face. And it's a beautiful face by the way."

"Thanks." I smiled at her compliment.

It's a relief that Santana had nice girlfriends in the past.

Santana cleared her throat. "Quinn, before these people tell you embarrassing stories about me, why don't you sit beside Rachel, Sam, Kurt and Finn right there? I'll just get more food and a drink for you."

"Wait up, Lopez. Why don't you let her sit beside us so we can know more about the girl who friend-zoned Santana freaking Lopez? Right, Britt?" Puck protested. Brittany just smiled at him.

"Because you might hit on her 'cause you're drunk and if that happens I might break your face and I don't want that because you're my friend." Santana answered smugly.

"Fair enough." He shrugged. Santana then walked me to where Rachel and the rest are sitting. She left me there to get more food, and drinks.

"So, Quinn, are you staying for the night?" Rachel started a conversation with me.

I shook my head sadly. "I have some issues to deal with, with my family."

My friends suddenly looked concerned. "What issues?" Rachel immediately asked.

I just smiled, "Nothing big. It's a surprise."

Thankfully Rachel dropped the topic.

The party went pretty well, well, for Santana maybe. She didn't spend much time with me, she stayed at the table with Puck, Brittany, Kitty and Hanna. I know I shouldn't be mad because it is her party and she has guests. But some of her friends kept on teasing with Brittany; I really can't help but feel jealous.

I would've complained about how sensitive they are but I'm very well aware that they didn't know Santana and I are together now. All they know is that I'm 'YALE girl' who friendzoned their friend.

I just want to think that Santana's in that table because she doing me a favor on keeping our relationship a secret, and not because she likes it better there.

Puck just finished singing and requesting Santana to sing. I smiled remembering the times when Santana will sing 'songbird' to me over the telephone.

"Good evening, Fabray residence. How may I help you?" I casually answered the phone.

"Good evening. Can I speak to Quinn, please?" she asked nicely. I recognized her voice immediately.

"This is her speaking." I heard her sigh in relief.

"I almost thought I dialed the wrong number because the voice sounded like it came from an angel." There she is with her sweet talk. "Which you're not obviously." She added quickly. "The funny thing is, I can almost hear you blush." Then she laughed.

"Shut up." I pouted. "What do you want? You do know I have a cellphone right?"

I can practically hear her shrug. "The telephone is nearer to me at the moment." She casually replied.

"What do you want?" I feigned annoyance.

"I'm bored." She said briefly.

I arched an eyebrow. "Well unlike you, Ms. Lopez, I have things to do, like studying. That's what normal students do."

She laughed at me. "What planet are you from? Seriously, Q. Normal students don't study, at least not when there's no tests the following day."

I sighed. "I'm not just a typical student then."

"Yes, you're not." She agreed. "Anyways, I met this beautiful lady and I'm planning to serenade her, do you think that's too peachy or its okay?"

"I think that's a bad idea because you can't even sing." I teased her.

She scoffed. "You really don't know me yet, do you?"

"Huh." I replied. Come to think of it, I haven't really heard her sing. But I can tell that she has a beautiful voice that can make people swoon. But of course I wouldn't tell her that.

"You asked for it. Don't blame me if you'd fall for me after this." She joked. I just scoffed at her because she didn't know that I already did. Or at least I think so.

"Are you going to sing or what?" I said impatiently.

I heard her clear her throat. "For you…there'll be no more crying. For you, the sun will be shining" she continued the song until the chorus. And I was stunned. And knowing Santana, she's aware that I was actually stunned. I know she's smirking at the moment.

"What did I tell you?" she said proudly. "Would you look at that, Quinn Fabray is speechless."

I cleared my throat. I felt like that song was for me even when she already said that it's for a girl she just met. "You didn't finish the song."

"I think that's enough for a sample. It's for the special girl so I won't finish it yet."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes. Does she really have to remind me that she's just practicing it on me?

"Hey, you're free to compliment me now." She stated.

"I didn't like it." I lied.

"What?" she exclaimed. "You definitely liked it. But never mind, what do I expect from you anyway? You're queen of denying"

A/N:

Another chapter for my lovely readers…

Sorry for any mistakes. This is non-beta by the way.

But please, please review… Tell me what you think about the chapters so far.

Just so you know Brittany might not be sticking around in this story…but I needed her to get the story moving. We'll see...

Thank you for all the kind reviews by the way and the alerts too.

I really appreciate it and it really keeps me motivated. XOXO

I'll update as soon as I can, as of the mean time I'm going to study for my midterm exam. So if you could kindly include me to your prayers? or Wish me luck. Either way. Thanks!