...
Now
...
Stefan hadn't allowed himself to mope for long, though he did have a few quite pathetic and booze filled nights. But he'd forgotten that he was now a human lightweight and he had regretted it when he had woken up with a horrible hangover that got worse daily.
After three of those hangovers, he therefore decided that enough was enough and he forced himself to start organizing his life without Katherine Pierce.
Since it had mostly been her that had made him leave his hometown to begin with, he packed his stuff, gave notice at the auto shop, didn't renew his lease for the apartment and headed off, back to Mystic Falls, back to his brother and his friends and life as he knew it.
It was hard to admit that he had failed. He wondered for a moment whether Damon would give him a hard time, or whether maybe any of the others would. He sighed. Even if they did, he kind of deserved it. And he knew that after any intial bickering and giving him the cold shoulder, they'd come around.
He'd been forgiven way worse. He was immensely grateful for that.
But when he stood waiting on the doorstep of his home, a duffel over his shoulder and just one extra bag in his car, he still almost teared up when Damon opened, and said his, "hello, brother" with a happy smile and no snark, as if there was nothing remotely strange about his brother being back so quickly.
"Mind if I stay for a bit?" Stefan asked just as casually. "I'll look for an actual place, but just for the first few days maybe?"
"Brother," Damon said, already walking back inside, "this is still your home, too. You can stay as long as you want. The longer, the better."
Stefan smiled. It felt good to be back. It really did. Katherine had torn his heart out yet again, but deep down, he had known the day would come. He had also known he could always go back to his safe haven. Still, he wasn't going to stay at the house indefinitely. It was Elena's and Damon's place now.
But he'd enjoy being a guest there for a little bit.
"So… " Damon eventually said, because he was Damon and he couldn't let it slide, "The cat scratch your heart out?"
Stefan grimaced and gave a half nod. "Go on, tell me that I was stupid to even leave with her in the first place."
But all Damon said was, "I'm sorry, Stef." He walked straight over to the bar and grabbed the bourbon, and Stefan's stomach revolted at the mere sight. "Let's drink to women, we can't live with or without them…"
"I'll pass," Stefan said and earned himself a curious stare, quickly followed by dawning understanding.
"I see. You've already done that. In that case," Damon walked over to the kitchen, "let's make some man food and turn on the TV like good humans. I think there's some sports game or other on today. I'll have to ask Ric. He's trying to get me into being his TV buddy."
And that was that. No more mention of Katherine for now, and Stefan was relieved. He wasn't ready yet to try and explain himself or relive the feelings he'd had when he'd found out that she had left him.
Instead, Ric came over later, too, and the three men sat down on the couch with some greasy chicken wings and chips, and watched basketball together, the most natural thing in the world.
And Stefan finally felt like this was all over.
...
3 November, 1997
Journal entry: Dr. Grayson Gilbert
…
I'm honored to continue this journal where others left off and report my findings. This Organisation and its studies have proven to be of immense importance to our cause and to save and protect humankind. I shall not tire to do my best to keep this enterprise going…
…
6 July, 1998
Pain tolerance. Retesting.
Extraction of fingernails and toenails:
Most subjects showed obvious signs of distress. Exception: subject A. He's undergone this treatment many times and his pain tolerance seems to have improved through the years.
Removal of skin and vivisection:
Most subjects started screaming and writhing rather quickly. Many passed out rather quickly and / or succumbed to death before we could finish properly.
Subject A barely showed any reaction until death, which seems to prove that pain tolerance has indeed improved exponentially within the last few decades. (Subject A had been with us the longest by far.)
Personal note: while good for our studies, this was somewhat frustrating to witness.
…
14 February, 2000
Subject A is still in a catatonic state. According to our psychiatrist, Dr. Holloway, who diagnosed a 'depression' prior to this, the catatonia was caused by post traumatic stress disorder.
This diagnosis, however, would imply that vampires are indeed capable of rather strong emotions, which, in turn, could be evidence of the involvement of a 'soul'.
Therefore, I'm inclined to discourage such a diagnosis. Rather, the catatonia is likelier caused by the subject's body not being able to keep up with the frequent testing.
I shall allow for a slightly longer time period between experiments, to allow the body to heal completely before continuing studies. This will slightly inconvenience our schedule, but should still be manageable.
…
24 December, 2004
Testing will be stopped during Christmas break. Enzo will remain tied down by vervained ropes. I gave him a last dose of blood. The next one will be administered upon my return in three weeks. I informed staff that no one but me is to interact with him. He is rather charismatic and I'm worried he could trick some of the easier to impress colleagues to help him escape...
…
Jeremy closed his eyes, grimacing. He had told Caroline he wouldn't continue reading the Augustine Journal, but he found himself unable to stop. He felt like he had to at least read his dad's entries, or so it had started … He had to know what his father's had done.
There had been a few rather excruciating chapters with way too descriptive writing, so that some of the entries his dad had made almost seemed harmless. Still, knowing who had written them turned Jeremy's stomach. It proved that it really was true. His father had conducted experiments on vampires. And not just any random ones…
The worst part was that Jeremy was starting to question what he was doing. He was starting to question his whole life! He was a vampire hunter, like Grayson had been. He was fighting the bad ones, because somebody had to, right? Like there were prisons for the bad humans, there had to be someone taking care of the bad vampires. Still…
He had decided to man up and tell Enzo and Damon about the journal and hand it over to them, although he wasn't sure how smart that was. Damon might understand. Enzo, on the other hand… There was no love lost between the vampire and him.
Jeremy was still shocked that Bonnie had started dating the guy that had at one time threatened to kill him.
Was Enzo a good guy, because he was now with Bonnie? Because Damon shared a history with him?
To Jeremy, he was still a bad guy. A murderer. A threat. Which didn't make sense. After all, he'd forgiven Damon way worse. And if he was being honest, Damon didn't exactly deserve his trust, or respect, or anything, either. Yet he had been there for Jeremy m. He had made up for his mistakes. And he was good for Elena. Good to her.
Jeremy ruffled his hair, nervous, as he stood in front of the door, preparing himself to knock. Now was not the time for heavy thoughts.
He had told Damon to come over to Bonnie's place so that he wouldn't have to do it all twice… besides, there was only one copy of the book, and both his sister's fiancé and Enzo deserved to know about it.
When he knocked and Bonnie opened the door, a little baby wrapped around her in a sling, he stared at her open mouthed.
Up until that moment, he had managed to avoid seeing her. He had been in Mystic Falls for a few weeks - months - now, and he'd never crossed her path. He had pretended to himself that it was just naturally not happening because of their different schedules, but who was he kidding. He had avoided her. He had put actual work into it, too. If Damon had said Bonnie and Enzo would be coming over to hang out at the Salvatore house, Jeremy had found a reason to be out. And so on and so forth.
But now here she was, or rather, here he was, and he had to see it through. He still felt a pang when he saw her, a strange feeling enveloped him, strong, primal almost. She was so beautiful.
"Hey Jer." She smiled, a little awkwardly. "Come on in. Damon said you needed to talk with him and Enzo?"
"Uh huh. Right. It's…" He couldn't find any words to say. "Right."
Bonnie was still smiling, but there was a shadow of something on her face. Doubt? Concern?
"I was wondering when I'd finally see you. I… didn't want to push it. But, ya… it's good to see you."
"Ya, uh, sorry. I was… pretty busy and… with my dad and Enzo..." He trailed off, grateful when she nodded, understanding.
He was somehow even more grateful, and relieved, when he noticed that Damon was already there. He was sitting backwards on a chair, resting his chin on his arms, and watched Enzo… cook?
The vampire was indeed busy chopping an onion and tossing something into a pot on the stove, an unreal situation in Jeremy's eyes. But here he was, witnessing it.
"Jeremy!" Damon exclaimed and hopped off the chair. "Care to tell us what's going on?"
He looked quite happy and gave Jeremy a big slap on the shoulder, but Enzo stared at him darkly, and with a half-roll of his eyes. Or was he just imagining it?
"Can we…" He started, but the whole happy cooking atmosphere made him feel uncomfortable and out of place. "Can you guys sit down or something?"
Damon frowned.
"What's the matter?" he asked, just as Bonnie walked over to Enzo and whispered something in his ear.
"Alright. Living room," she announced and they all went over there. Jeremy sighed. He sat down and waited for the other three to do the same. Bonnie kept pacing, gesturing at the baby.
"Okay, I should get this over with quickly. I found a journal with the stuff my dad - my father kept at that... that place. I think you should have it."
Both men raised their eyebrows at him. But only Damon spoke. "A journal, huh? Dear diary, this is Grayson Gilbert. Today was beautiful. Had dinner with the family, then came over to do some torturing."
He was joking, of course, but Jeremy gravely muttered, "Kinda like that actually, yeah."
Damon's gaze darkened. He looked over to his vampire friend, who sat motionless, seemingly slouching on a sofa chair, though the tension in his body was obvious.
When Jeremy now offered the book up, Enzo bent forward abruptly and took it out of his grasp, opening it. Studying it.
Smirking.
"What's so funny, Mr. St. John?" Damon wanted to know, and Jeremy saw him exchange a worried glance with Bonnie.
How had these three gotten so close? Or rather: How had he managed to write himself out of their story so easily, but now he wished so badly he hadn't? He felt left out, and it was his own fault.
"Enzo?"
"Just a bunch of crap." He stared at Jeremy with his unreadable eyes, "Words don't mean anything…"
"They're about your experiences…"
"This got nothing to do with me. This is your father's and some other men's experiences," he spat the last word out with contempt, "their sick little fantasies." The vampire glared at him, then tossed the book back at Jeremy, nodding over to Damon. "Maybe he wants it. I just want it gone out of my house."
"It'll be good to keep the fireplace going," Damon said as he nonchalantly grabbed the book from a somewhat flustered and nervous Jeremy. He shot Elena's brother a sympathetic glance. Enzo could be intimidating and hostile - and he had a reason for both at the moment.
"Well, this was fun. I always love an excuse to see these adorable lovebirds over here, but there's work waiting for me - and a date with my fiancée." He rose slowly and gestured for Jeremy to follow him.
"Bon. Homeboy. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Let's get going, little Gilbert, your sister doesn't like to wait."
And with that they rushed out of the house, Damon casually holding the journal as if it hadn't been the reason they all met up in the first place. "We'll see ourselves out!" he chirped a little too happily, but neither Enzo nor Bonnie said anything.
…
Once outside, Damon slapped Jeremy over the head, making him scowl.
"What the hell-" he started, but Damon lifted a hand to silence him.
"Are you friggin' kidding me with this crap, Jer? What on earth made you think it was a good idea to bring this journal up to Enzo's attention. Scratch that, why the hell did you bring the journal?!"
"I…," Jeremy frowned. "I just thought…"
"No, Jeremy Gilbert," Damon poked the other's chest, "you did not think. Because if you had, you would not have reminded a tortured man of his past. - And I'm very much also speaking about myself here," he said, "whatever you thought you were doing, this was not the way to do it."
"I thought you should know-"
"Know what, exactly? That we were… 'treated bad' by some batshit crazy wannabe scientists? Don't you think we already knew that?" Damon lost his patience with Elena's brother. He had a soft spot for the kid, yes, but right now Jeremy really needed to learn when to shut up.
Thankfully, he finally did.
...
That night, Bonnie noticed that the bad dreams had come back.
While Enzo had continued to be reluctant to sleep and had gladly used James as an excuse to stay up and walk his rounds, his sleep - when he did sleep - had gotten quieter and better over the weeks that had passed since his return.
But Jeremy had to bring that stupid book over and shove it in their faces and now Enzo's handsome face looked troubled again while she watched him sleep beside her. He was grinding his teeth, and she gently placed a hand on his chest, which seemed to calm him somewhat. Beside her, in a small bassinet, James was for once laying down, if awake and cooing happily.
She took a few deep breaths. She knew Jeremy hadn't meant anything by showing them that journal. It was probably actually his kind of crooked way of atoning and returning what he felt he had no right to even see. But he should have just secretly gotten rid of it and left well enough alone.
Damon had just messaged her a picture of his fireplace with a nice fire burning inside and the remains of some paper visible in it.
Good day for a fire.. He'd written. Then, in typical Damon fashion, We should have a barbecue on the weekend.
They had chatted back and forth a bit after that, and Bonnie had known that she was not only helping Enzo deal with the horrors of the past, but also Damon. Elena was on a long night shift, and her fiancé was alone. He probably had his own demons to quiet down, and if Bonnie could help with a little phone banter, she was happy to do it.
Too many things were whirling around in her own head, Enzo prominent among them, and she was glad for the distraction.
After an hour long conversation, they finally messaged each other it was time to sleep. By then, they had come up with an elaborate meal plan for their barbecue, which apparently was really going to happen. She shook her head, a brief smile crossing her features.
With a sigh, she put the phone away, checked on her baby one more time and slid down under the covers next to Enzo.
She wasn't sure whether she should tell him the book was gone. But she decided it was best to give him some space. If he wanted to talk, she'd be there.
But first: sleep.
...
Caroline was ridiculously excited. She and Elena had met up for a coffee at the park. That way the twins could play and they got to talk a little during one of Elena's rare breaks.
She was so busy now that she had started interning at the hospital, it was a miracle she had even found the time to hang out with her friend.
"I want you to be my wedding planner, Care," Elena had said when they'd first sat down on the bench, watching the kids. Caroline had made a sound pretty close to an actual shriek.
And now she was already knee deep in ideas and music suggestions, and party favors.
"You'll definitely need a bouquet of white flowers. And an extra bouquet just for throwing. You know, those can get pretty shredded and you'll want yours to stay beautiful for a little while longer. We could even get one that will hold up nicely when dried! Oh, and what do you think about some of those cute Japanese rice paper lanterns? We could let them float out onto Mystic Lake once it's dark and-"
Elena was laughing. "Slow down, slow down," she told her friend and made a calming gesture. "I love your enthusiasm, Care! But we can't do all the things, okay? Let's meet up next week or so and go over all our options. And I'll have to talk to Damon about our budget…"
Caroline nodded, eager, but calmer. "I'm just so happy for you guys!" She blurted and couldn't stop the sudden tears welling in her eyes.
"Oh Caroline, no crying. What's… are you okay?"
Elena was concerned about her friend, but to her surprise, the blonde said, "Actually, I'm more than okay, Elena. Thank you for letting me do this. I won't let you down."
"I know you won't. You've always been the best event planner." Elena smiled, giving the other girl a hug. "And now you're also a great mom."
"Aw, thank you," Caroline whispered, visibly moved. She'd missed hanging out with Elena, hanging out with her girlfriends. It always lifted her spirits.
Without knowing it yet, Elena had just managed to help her with something else, too. Since Caroline had lost her job, she had applied for other, similar jobs with other programs, but the process was slow and tiring, and it never felt right.
Until Elena had mentioned the magical words: event planner.
That was totally something she was good at! And maybe it was time for her to do her own thing, to start her own event planning business.
There was hope for Caroline Forbes!
...
...
Six months from now
...
It was dark outside, but the Armory was brightly lit and bustling with life.
Alaric had picked up the books again that he had last touched when Kai had helped them with the undoing of Katherine's spell. Stefan was there to help him, but looked a little lost because he didn't really know what to even look for.
Bonnie was trying out some magic by holding her hands over Damon's temples, trying to see what he was seeing, and maybe finding out what was going on.
"Hold still already!" She chided him and got a grumble in reply.
Caroline was busy doing last minute changes regarding seating at the wedding, while Elena was torn between worrying about Damon and concentrating on telling Caroline that Aunt Josephine could definitely not sit next to Uncle Morris.
"Uh, guys…" Alaric had found something.
Finally. Bonnie and Damon both looked to him.
"Is there hope for me, Professor?" Damon croaked, tired and ready to get some sleep. It was almost dawning outside.
"Well…" Alaric eyed his friend carefully, then looked over to Bonnie. "There's this theory - I think you said your grandma mentioned something along the same lines - that whatever magic is used, needs to be used in accordance with a... a cosmic balance."
Bonnie nodded and he went on.
"Now here's the thing. Bonnie, your psychic 'blast' upset the balance. Vampires turned human, a portal to let out the dead was formed. If I understand it correctly, the cosmic balance started to be restored when the dead returned to being dead. But that left the vampire-human problem." He stopped, shooting a glance at Damon. He could tell that his friend had put two and two together already, but he needed to spell it out for the others.
"Caroline and Enzo… are back to being vampires, but Damon here… he's the last one remaining human. And I think the cosmic powers - or whatever we want to call it - are trying to right a "wrong" there and return the order."
"What? No…" Elena gasped and hurried over to her fiancé. Damon's arm came up to hug her waist. "There's gotta be a way to… to stop it, right?"
Alaric grimaced. "Well. Yeah. Kinda. But… it needs to be as close as possible to the, uh, real deal. So… in other terms, someone as close to Damon as possible, a blood relative."
"A brother," Damon and Stefan both said at the same time.
...
Thanks, as always, for the feedback. Special shoutout again to shadowdancer and to ironcrusher.
And for reading. Thanks!
We are nearing the end, I think. Next, we will completely catch up on those six months, and well, I guess that means a wedding. :)