"Sometimes, the truth hurts. But it must be accepted." - Marsha, ruler of Gazorpazorp

38. The Truth

Steven waited a long time for someone to come for him, fearing the worst, but there was no one. He was feeling a little better after washing and changing into his clothes, but his body was still sore and he was thoroughly drained of any sort of motivation. White Diamond, Holly Blue, Opalite… He shuddered, sitting against a wall facing the door.

After what had happened, he was still having a difficult time convincing himself he did the right thing. Connie was still dead, but the Gems were at least alive even if it had cost him. He was here, and they were there, and that was the ways things had to be.

But… god, if this wasn't harder than he could have imagined. At one point, maybe when he had first come face-to-face with Blue Diamond, Steven recalled thinking about how bad it might be to stay here – maybe they would make him a slave, or make him shatter or even fuse again. It had turned to be all of the above, and living through these things was an entirely different story.

The emptiness in the room, the absolute silence that stretched through the white prison, was befitting Steven's empty heart. What did he have to live for anymore? He really didn't want to believe the answer was nothing, he wanted to believe that he had done at least something right by staying here, but White Diamond was ruthless in making him rue what he had done. The Rhodonite… Steven bit his tongue so badly it almost started to bleed.

The true intent behind his presence here was only just now starting to make sense. He wasn't just a tool for White Diamond to recover lost gems, which is a frightening concept in itself, but there was something about seeing that Ruby and Lilac Pearl, their shards forced together by that glowing white light… What was it with artificial fusions she wanted him to do? When they formed, there was a horrible crying sound, it was so clear they didn't want that… and then, too, the way Garnet had reacted beneath the Amethyst's Kindergarten on Earth. The pulsing pain, wanting to reform, the way the shards inside of the Cluster had felt… Those shards weren't alone anymore, but it couldn't have stopped them from hurting, missing what it felt like to be themselves. Steven thought he had understood just how horrible it was, but the unbridled cruelty behind White Diamond's voice made his heart thump painfully against his ribs.

Then there was the matter of Opalite, Opalite, Opalite. Steven put his head into his hands as he thought about it – the truth finally catching up with him. He had wanted to fuse. He really did, and it had worked so far as to show White Diamond he was serious, but he hadn't anticipated the degree of the fallout.

Once again, you think with your heart instead of your head. How could you not realize there would be consequences?

There was a trail of their voice in his mind, echoing a return.

It wasn't worth it.

No, yes, it had to be – he had done the right thing, hadn't he?

You used her, you used me to get what you wanted. But this isn't even what you wanted, is it?

"Ugh" Steven muttered, a little too loudly to be in a room by himself. He couldn't help it, they had been together much longer this time, so everything about them felt much more present than before. This time, the tendrils of his character had not simply snapped when they came apart; each time they fused and unfused, he felt himself become more like them. The pattern was changing, no longer interwoven like a lattice of competing identities – it became a blanket rather than a quilt, and it ensconced him so tightly it felt like he couldn't breathe.

"I'm… not Opalite. We, I'm, I'm not you..." It wasn't convincing.

Half-human, half-gem, all pain and regret, he sat there alone, hungry and tired, thinking to himself. He wasn't Opalite, he wasn't Rose Quartz, he wasn't even sure if he was Steven anymore.

/

Stepping off the warp pad a few hundred feet from the barn, the Crystal Gems were back on Earth. They landed at the Galaxy Warp, Lapis particularly tense as they stepped off the ship – she was the one here most recently, and it had been with Steven… When he convinced her to stay on Earth, to make this her home.

But it's not home, not really, not without him.

Peridot was the last one off the ship, hesitating before she stepped down.

"And… I just want to make sure, we're one-hundred percent sure we want to…?"

No one responded, no one bothered to acknowledge her comment. Sighing, the green gem stepped down and left the Roaming Eye empty. As soon as she reached the bottom step, returning her feet to the cool smooth surface of the Galaxy Warp, the stairs receded into the base of the ship and it immediately set to leave, returning to Homeworld.

She watched it go, disappointed and reflective as the red star disappeared into the galaxy above, and then turned to join the others.

Now, the group had returned to the barn, still trying to grip what had just happened. They left, and now they've come back in the span of five Earth days, but more so than that, they had failed. Connie's shoulders were slumped once the others explained what happened to her, to the others, to Steven…

Steven… why won't you let us help you?

She knew why, of course, and she knew it was perfectly in character for him, but it hurt all the same.

The others hadn't confirmed exactly what happened, but their expressions and reactions had made a few things perfectly clear. First, she had died. Really, actually died, and White Diamond had been the one to kill her, not Steven, despite what he had agreed to do. The last thing she remembered was Steven holding her, saying something down a long tunnel of her vision, and she thought he had leaned down, almost pressed their lips together… but it was difficult for her to know, and it made her stomach feel queasy to ask the others.

To be fair, they were all preoccupied with other things – most notably, she had turned pink. It had been more intense when she first woke up, almost too intense to look at, but by now it had started to fade to more of a soft bubblegum look. Her hair had changed accordingly, a few shades lighter than her skin tone, but otherwise she felt… normal. They couldn't ignore the fact that it had to be tied to Steven – indeed, hadn't White Diamond been talking about him "curing death?" Between her skin and her hair, they were sort of reminded of his pet Lion, but Connie's coloration was softening slowly.

The final hour or so before they landed, the others had caught her up with what happened, mostly by Pearl and Garnet. Connie couldn't put her finger on what it was exactly, but the two were tense when they interacted, sharing none of their normal camaraderie, so she could only assume some of their explanation had been lacking. Patiently, she listened and nodded her head along, thinking, rationalizing, agonizing. It was hard to sit their idly, trying to listen to Garnet explain why exactly they left him, but she could see the pain in the fusion's face as things started to settle in. Eventually, perhaps ten minutes before they reached Earth, Connie finally spoke, her voice even while she tried to process.

"So… Alexandrite fought White Diamond, while Prehnite worked on an escape vessel. He fused with Holly Blue Agate… again. You all were brought onto the ship, and now… we're almost back to Earth. Without him."

Pearl nodded, eyes hard with anger, which surprised her. She would have expected Pearl to be devastated, or heartbroken, or even in hysterics. Instead, she seemed to be boiling under the surface, so Connie did not say anything else for a while. Instead, she joined Peridot, who had been holding Amethyst, and Lapis who had approached them near the front window. They gazed at the stars, watching their blue and green orb, their home, come into view.

Now, they had gone from the Galaxy Warp, quickly to Rose's fountain to heal Amethyst, and were finally back at the barn. It was dusk; the stretch of sky over the hills could have been beautiful. Orange, yellows, even purples and pinks tinted the miles of sky that expanded outwards. How is it possible that all of the way out there, somewhere far away, Steven was still too far to save? How could they have gone a million miles away only to return empty handed?

"Connie?" Pearl said, making the girl jump as she shook her head, her attention been dragged from the stratosphere, past the pastels of the clouds and into the darkness of the universe.

"Right, sorry." She mumbled.

All of the Crystal Gems gathered in the barn, Amethyst reclining on some hay with her eyes closed, Lapis and Peridot gently cuddling with Pumpkin, who seemed ecstatic at their return, while Garnet stood central in the room when her arms-crossed. Pearl led Connie to a random chair nearby to Amethyst and gestured for her to sit, while the teacher leaned against a beam a few feet away.

They sat there for a few minutes, absorbing the world around them – the smell of dust and fresh air, the tickle of cold creeping through the barn as the sun retreated further into the sky, the soft cooing of Pumpkin as the little orange creature reveled the return of its parents. All of them were bound in the indescribable place between inertia and animation, kinetic and potential energy coiling their muscles while tarrying their bodies. If Amethyst had a thought, her legs failed to react; if Pearl wanted to shift her shoulders, her brain stopped working. They were all bound to the ground beneath them, by gravity and responsibility alike, but it was only against their better instincts to run, to fight, to overcome.

Finally, when a sudden chill of the night air made Connie's hair stand-up, she spoke up. "So… um, what do we do now?"

The others looked around, hoping someone else would be the one to speak, all eyes eventually landing on Garnet; she had been the one to bring them here, so it only felt natural that she would be the one to decide the next steps.

Adjusting her visor, Garnet's face remained serious. "We need to talk to Greg."

/

Almost asleep, Steven's head snapped up when he heard a voice on the other side of the door. He rubbed his eyes, fatigued but glad for something to finally be happening – he was extremely hungry.

"… b-but Holly Blue Agate, we were given – "

Ugh. Why her? Why is it always her?

Steven sat up a little straighter, tightening his grip on his knees. He wasn't afraid of her, he just didn't like to be around her, especially alone.

Her voice cut them off, although it was a little sable for her – she almost sounded a bit sad. "I know what you were told, you lousy Quartz. I said White Diamond herself requested that I see the child. Stand aside."

There was a pause followed by a soft beeping through the wall, and then the door opened to reveal Her Haughtiness. Steven was beyond fearing her, he was far past that now – but she did make him want to tear up the skin on his arms just to make sure it wasn't blue underneath.

He sighed and met her gaze, the door clasping shut behind her.

"What do you – " Stopping when he looked at her face, Steven bit back the bitterness in his tone. She wasn't scowling or threatening – she looked genuinely unhappy.

Holly Blue turned halfway around to look at the door then back to him, then once again at the door. What is wrong with her?

Then, slowly and deliberately, she lifted a single finger to her mouth: shh. Skeptical, Steven said nothing and continued to watch her distrustfully. Shutting her eyes peacefully, Holly Blue let out a tiny sigh and the room filled with a sudden light. Glowing and shrinking, her commanding presence receded into itself, shapeshifting. Steven was glad for the warning or else he likely would have yelped, flinching at the sullen blue pile that formed a few feet away. Clearly fatigued from her effort, Blue Pearl was on her knees, holding her arms in a desperate half hug. Her eyes were hidden, but her hair was unusually disheveled as her thin frame quivered on the ground.

"I – what?" her head shot up as he started to speak, finger flying to her lips.

Steven lowered his voice to a tiny whisper. "S-sorry." She was looking at him from behind her bangs, but made no move to silence him this time. Slowly, he began to crawl towards her since they were both already on the floor.

"What are you doing here?" Steven started to ask, but before she could answer him he realized she had yellow burns along the right side of her body, her arms and legs expanding into wicked tendrils beneath her skin.

He gasped. "A-are you hurt? Is that why you're here?" She said nothing, gripping her arm protectively, but her head was angled towards the scars on his arm.

Very gently, Steven reached his own defaced arm for her to better examine; he tried not to look at it. "I can't heal my own, but I can try to heal you." Blue Pearl continued to stay silent, so he added honestly. "I… don't know for sure if it will work. I've never healed this stuff before."

Not wanting to alarm her further, Steven withdrew his arm back to his side and sat crossed leg in front of her, still frozen on her knees and shaking.

She looks so scared… He thought about Holly Blue's loss of Blue Diamond, hurting his own mind by extension, and he realized the magnitude of the loss for this Pearl. Blue Diamond, to her, must have been her everything, the only reason she had a purpose, lucky enough to serve one of most esteemed members of Homeworld, and now…

Steven lowered his eyes, now covering his own arm. "I-I'm so sorry, about your Diamond. I never wanted that." Even if she had lied to him and been needlessly cruel, it was true. Steven never meant for everything to blow up like this, and even if she shattered Dani and toyed with his emotions, the loss of her and Yellow Diamond meant White Diamond was the sole authority left to rule all of Homeworld. She was a hundred times worse than either of the other Diamonds, and he had been a part of the plot that killed her.

Finally, Blue Pearl spoke, her voice barely audible. "D-do you, can… can you help me? Pea- um, the renegade, she… I knew her." Steven looked up, the slender gem hugging herself tighter as she worked up her nerve.

"Oh, you knew Pearl? Er, White Diamond's old Pearl, I guess? I don't know if I can really help, but…" For the first time since he had woken up in Dani's arms, Steven felt a little happy, at ease, glad to be in company instead of wishing he was alone.

Blue Pearl studied him for a moment, and nodded twice. "Yellow, she… she is worse t-than me." Steven was confused for a second, and realized she must be referring to Yellow Pearl, noting how Blue Pearl rubbed her arm.

"She, t-the renegade…" Blue Pearl lowered her head, as if every word was causing her pain. Steven could only listen as she fell to pieces, the devastation from her loss evident.

"A long time ago… she tried to get u-us to leave. With her. With… um, the rebel leader," she said, biting her lip as Steven nodded. His mother.

"We wouldn't. Couldn't. I-I'm not even sure anymore. But, we want to go now. P-please, can you…?"

Holding his head in one hand, Steven thought to himself. He really wanted to help her, both of the Pearls, but could he? His eyes lingered on the budding electricity beneath her veins, their shared pain marked clearly by from White Diamond's wrath. But what could he do? He could offer to poof and bubble her, send her back to the Temple, but would the Gems ever let her out? Would they even notice her appear in the room? It could take decades for them to realize…

As he opened his mouth to speak, Blue Pearl spilled more of her hurt into the air, the whispers so heavy with guilt and shame that Steven felt himself tear up. "We – I know, wh-what happened to the other Pearl. The Ruby fusion. P-please, hybrid child, please… we don't want that. She, h-her Grand Supremacy, she has already started to change the order of our kind. The announcement – it went out only hours ago. You are being blamed for their death, b-but we were there. We know the truth. We- we saw it," she let out a choked sob, her hair falling down her face as she lowered her head. Steven reached out a hand to comfort her, but she flinched away.

"M-my Diamond, she, you didn't… it was her, and now she…" Twin tears streaked her gentle blue cheeks as she looked up at him.

"Please. I don't want to die."

Steven sighed, balling up his fists against his pants in frustration. His mind rang with threats and punishment and his own fears.

Was it worth it?

Yes. Maybe?

She's just a Pearl, let her suffer. Opalite sneered behind his vision, her voice as strong as he was weak.

That's – no.

You suffered greatly once already – why do it again for a stranger? A loyal subject to Blue Diamond, no less.

But she'll die…

A lot of Gems are going to die because of what you did.

You're right…

He whispered to himself, startling Blue Pearl. "But she doesn't have to be one of them."

She wiped a tear away, still holding herself. "W-what? Who doesn't?"

"Oh – um, n-nevermind." Steven held his head, ignoring the pounding in the back of his brain. "I'll help you. I can't get you out, but think I know who can."

/

Peridot and Lapis stayed behind at the barn, neither of them particularly close with Steven's father and unsure of what else to do. While Garnet and Pearl went into town, Amethyst and Connie stayed behind at the Temple, tasked with finding Lion and checking to make sure nothing had gone terribly wrong while they were away (Pearl insisted that Connie should rest or eat, but she didn't feel the need at the moment).

The walk through the sand and into the streets of Beach City was quiet and tense, neither having spoken directly to each other since Amethyst silenced them on the Roaming Eye. This sort of muteness was not uncharacteristic for Garnet, but Pearl was struggling with her emotions, trying to imagine what they will say to Greg.

When they passed by the Big Donut, Pearl noticed the Donut Humans arguing characteristically, neither seeming to notice them walking outside. How is it that humans always seem to express their feelings so easily?

By the time the pair had reached Fish Stew Pizza, perhaps another five minutes from reaching the car wash, Pearl and Garnet stopped simultaneously. Pearl wanted to speak, and Garnet had seen it coming, so they both stood on the boardwalk in silence for a moment.

"Garnet, I…" she started to say, pivoting between anger and grief.

The fusion held a hand up, walking around her to lean against the wall. "No, Pearl, I'm sorry. You have every right to be mad at me, at us," she held up both her hands, looking down at Ruby and Sapphire in her palms. "We should have been honest, and Amethyst was right. I-I thought it was best to do what Rose would have wanted."

Pearl looked from Garnet to her hands, clenching them into fists as she felt fresh tears spring to her eyes. "Rose's choices were never easy to understand… but, what about what you wanted, Garnet? What about what we might have wanted?"

She glanced up at her, watching Garnet's face fall into a frown. Sighing, the fusion looked up at the stars as they started to peak through the darkening sky.

"I don't know anymore, Pearl. What I want, what we want, what Steven wants… Nothing is clear. Steven told me to do the right thing…" she lowered her head and took off her visor, looking at Pearl through three pained eyes.

"I thought I made the right choice, but why does it feel so wrong?" Her blue eye started to swell with a single tear.

Sapphire…

Moving next to her against the wall, Pearl leaned her back up and slid down to sitting, letting her long legs extend into the street.

They sat in silence for a while, watching the stars continue to shine. Pearl eventually released a long sigh and looked up at her. "It feels like we've gone back, doesn't it?" Her voice was heavy.

Garnet said nothing, knowing she was referring to the war.

"You did do the right thing, I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't want to face it. We've lost so many people." Pearl closed her eyes, covering them with a hand.

"I just never thought we would lose him."

They were still for a moment longer, forgiveness and thousands of years of memories taking them both for a time. Pearl released a half-hearted chuckle when a few humans could be heard leaving the restaurant, but they did not pay the pair any mind.

"He was always just like her… all the way until the end."

Returning her visor to her face, Garnet had to fight the urge to cry, but she managed to steel herself. They had been selfish for a long time; now, they had to try to be better. For him.

Eventually, Garnet offered Pearl a hand to stand up. "Let's go see Greg. He needs to know the truth."

Pearl looked at her and sighed a final time, grabbing it in acceptance.

"Right. Let's go."

/

Relaxing not far from the barn, Peridot played with a drill in her hand. She was holding it upside down, smiling at the memories associated with her ignorance, but it was a sad sort of smile. Lapis was inside the barn with Pumpkin, and she hadn't spoken much since they had been back; Peridot wasn't exactly in a talkative mood herself, so she was resigned to the quiet of the country and the whirring of her drill.

Mi-Fa-Mi-Mi-Fa-Mi-Ti-La… The green gem hummed the familiar melody, trying to get the sound of the tool in her hand to match. It didn't, but it was something to take her mind off of things.

She knew she shouldn't be sad about Yellow Diamond on the one hand, given that she had cut those ties on not-so-great terms, but she was still her Diamond. It had been hard – nigh, impossible – for her to imagine a life without her, but here she was, existing peacefully, light years away. Why did it feel different now that she knew Yellow Diamond was shattered? It shouldn't matter, but it did, and it frustrated her.

Perhaps more vexing, Peridot felt like no one understood her once again – not even Lapis, not truly. Her experience on Homeworld had been very different than the others, and now she felt more alone than ever. Part of her felt selfish for wanting some attention, knowing that Garnet and Amethyst and the others were going through a harder time, but did that invalidate her feelings? If it was supposed to, then she perhaps she was defective.

On top of her frustrations, Peridot felt guilty. Had the circumstances not been so dire, Lapis and her may never have formed Blue Prehnite, something that had made her little green hands start to shake. It was wonderful to put so much trust into someone, to feel important, but it had been at a terrible cost. All of the confidence they had invested to form Prehnite had been for nothing – at least it felt like that. It didn't feel worth it.

"That clod…" she groaned, tossing the drill to the side.

There is something that is worth more than peace and love on the planet Earth, and Steven was too stubborn to realize it. It was him.

Watching the universe move around her, Peridot studied the stars and constellations of this solar system until she no longer could. Just as she started to get up, she realized Lapis had been standing nearby, looking at her.

She blushed deep green. "H-how long were you standing there?"

Lapis just shrugged and walked closer, sitting down in the grass next to her. This was the first time they had been alone since they had formed Prehnite the first time.

They were silent for a little while, looking into sky above. Eventually, Lapis spoke.

"Do you… think we did the right thing?"

The green gem didn't respond at first, studying the way a certain red star glimmered, likely exploding thousands of light years away.

"Do you want the truth?"

Lapis responded vaguely. "Mmm…"

Peridot took that as an affirmative. "Yes, I do."

Her voice wasn't harsh or cruel, just honest. The pair continued to sit there, watching a flock of birds fly through the darkness, their black silhouettes moving through the night.

"I… don't." Lapis eventually said.

"I thought you might feel that way."

Lapis leaned up on her elbows, turning to look at Peridot. "I wish I could be like you sometimes. I just… I get caught up in these things," she let her eyes behold the stars again, and turned back over to lay in the grass next to the green gem.

"You're so… you. I feel like I lose myself every time… that I'm a little less of who I was." Lapis' voice cracked, so she looked away into the hills.

Peridot's instinct was to comfort the blue gem, but she hesitated. How could she explain so that Lapis would understand?

Clearing her throat lightly, Peridot spoke up. "Actually… you're wrong, Lapis. I'm, well, I'm Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG. I'm not that me at all anymore. I… lost myself a long time ago, and now I'm just trying to pick up the pieces."

Lapis was quiet for a moment, thinking. "I'm sorry, Peridot."

That was not what the green gem expected. "Why would you say that?"

"I wish I could agree with you – I want to think we did the right thing. But it hurts." Her voice was quiet, still turned away from her.

"I – I don't want to be like this, who I've become."

Without thinking, Peridot blurted out. "Why? You're amazing."

They both paused for a moment, embarrassed, but Peridot realized she didn't need to be wary anymore – they had literally shared a mind and a body, they both knew it was how she felt. Sitting up, the green gem looked at Lapis, prompting her to turn back and meet her gaze.

"Look, Lapis, I… I don't think we'll ever agree on some things. Most things, maybe." Lapis frowned, not expecting this, but Peridot continued.

"But that's okay. I don't like you because we're the same; I like you because we're different. I'm changing every day, becoming less of myself every time the stars come out," she turned her gaze up to the cloudless atmosphere, dark and beautiful.

"And you are, too. It's just a part of living here, on Earth. It's what Steven showed us that makes life worth living; we're never the same on the inside, and you and I will never be the same, either. Maybe we've gotten better, or maybe we've gotten worse – but it's irrefutable that we're different now. If you hadn't changed, if I hadn't changed, we wouldn't have been, um, able to… fuse."

Lapis was blushing, thankful that Peridot was looking at the sky and not at her. The green gem's voice softened, and she released a small sigh. "The truth is, I'm… I'm hurting, too, Lapis. I may seem okay, but I'm not. I miss him. I feel like I failed. It felt horrible to watch the ship go back, empty.

"But I have to tell myself we did the right thing, if only because it's what he wanted. Because I won't stop changing even if we didn't, and neither will you."

Sitting up fully, Lapis looked at Peridot, her green eyes shining. "He gave us another chance. If we were wrong, then we are worse. If we were right, then we are better. I… I want to be better."

She looked down, not able to meet her blue eyes. "For you."

Lapis suddenly threw her arms around Peridot, holding her close, squeezing tightly against her small frame. "I… I thought I lost you up there." Lapis whispered.

Peridot said nothing but returned the hug, while she continued to speak. "I'm glad you're here, and I'm glad you're safe. Thank you… for being honest with me."

Unexpectedly, Peridot started to giggle, her mischievous little laugh making Lapis withdraw in confusion. The green gem in her forehead had started to glow.

"Perfect example! I used to be so afraid to fuse. Now that's different. I think it's better now."

Holding her at arm's length, Lapis smiled smugly, one eyebrow raised. "You… wanna?"

A green hand came up to take the blue one off her shoulder, voice gentle. "No – right now, I just want to be here with you." And so she flopped back into the grass matter-of-factly. Lapis was bemused, laying down next to her and saying nothing.

They were quiet for a long time after that, sad and happy, watching the stars peacefully. At some point, Peridot had started hum a melody, the tune Steven had used to teach her to sing.

"What is that?" The blue gem leaned up on her elbows, looking over at her.

She smiled. "It's mi-fa-mi-mi-fa-mi-ti-la." Lapis looked confused, so Peridot tried the Steven-approach.

"Okay, let me start over. If you're going to learn, you have to sing with me."

Lapis nodded, perplexed.

Peridot squared her shoulders. "Okay, so, first, the words relate to the key…"

/

Steven was on edge, never having entered this room from an actual door. It looked even more massive from below.

After he agreed to help Blue Pearl, she informed him that they would have to act immediately – she would likely be killed before having another chance to sneak off. Before he let her shapeshift again, however, Steven insisted that he let him heal her.

Cringing when he touched her, Blue Pearl's mouth fell open in surprise once the warm spit dried on her forearm. It worked seamlessly, the tension melting off her shoulders evident from her change in posture. In spite of everything, he had smiled at her.

"See? I don't bite." The mild gem looked offended at that, withdrawing from him for a moment.

"I-I never suggested you did. Humans typically only use bite when they need to eat…"

Steven slapped himself on the forehead, almost laughing if not for the guards that had been right outside. "Oh, duh, sorry. It's an Earth thing. Anyway, let's go."

And, much to his surprise and relief, things had gone smoothly after that. It didn't take much acting on his part to appear hurt and dejected as "Holly Blue Agate" escorted him away – even if Blue Pearl's voice wasn't totally convincing, she did have an impressive sneer.

Now, Steven and Blue Pearl had just entered the White Diamond's bubble room, eyes scanning the glistening orbs that shined like stars above their heads. While it would have been safer for her to remain disguised as Holly Blue, Steven knew how strenuous shapeshifting could be, so he didn't blame her for reverting to her original form the moment the door shut.

Still quiet, Steven whispered to her on his right. "Okay, she'll be white, shards – not cracked, and she may have dirt on her. I'm not sure…" If White Diamond had removed the dirt, Dani would be extremely difficult to find here. He bit his lip, scanning over plenty of bubbles that contained regular white shards, shuddering as he thought about the sheer capacity of death in this room.

"Wait," Blue Pearl's voice had turned to a sharp whisper, sounding very much like his Pearl at that moment. "I thought you said you knew someone. How can we, if they're shattered…" Steven cut her off though, spotting a mound of dirt high in the room.

"I see her! Just, don't worry about it, I'll figure that part out." Pearl looked nervous but did not protest – she was really out of options at this point.

Turning his head up to look at her face, half-hidden in her pretty blue hair, Steven asked her a question. "Do you… know how to get her down? I could try to jump – I can float, most of the time – but if I run into anything…" his voice trailed off when she marched towards a wall, retrieving a panel from nothingness. Her fingers across the screen effortlessly and a single, white laser appeared from the floor, scanning the length of the room until it rested on the bubble full of dirt and shards.

"Wow," Steven said. He watched in awe as the vertical beam of light formed a sort of elevator, reminding him of the Maheswaran abacus that Connie hated. The delicate orb moved down to the ground level, still a little too tall for him, so Steven leapt up and grabbed it.

Popping the bubble lightly, Steven felt his heart hurt as he remembered how Dani had tried to protect him, how kind she had been when everyone else treated him like a blemish to Homeworld, a monster in their perfect order. He sighed and re-bubbled the shards himself, now pink and glittery beneath the orb.

"Okay, we will have to – " but Steven stopped dead, his eyes going wide as he heard footsteps and a voice. Pearl looked petrified, so fragile a single breath of wind might knock her over.

She hissed at him, flattening herself against the jutting doorframe. "Hide!"

Steven stifled a groan, the room entirely lacking any sort of beams or structures for him to hide behind. He was resigned to do the only thing he could – jump.

But his nerves were shot, causing him to misjudge the pressure when he pushed off the ground. Jumping at a weird angle, Steven flew straight into a bubble – thankfully, it contained only shards, no gem to reform and catch them. It burst, half a dozen blue shards clinked to the ground, not very loudly, but loud enough. The voices outside paused, the footfalls stopped. Steven and Blue Pearl were exchanging a look of muted horror, him floating down slowly as he held onto the bubble, careful not to exert too much pressure, while Blue Pearl folded her hands as if in prayer and pushed herself back into the wall as much as she could.

"…on without me, I'll catch up in a moment." The doors sprang open a moment later, and Steven had to suppress a groan. Seriously? It was Heliodor, her posture hard and her eyes suspicious. She entered the room, scanning the floor as her eyes came to rest on the pile of shards.

"Someone is here… I can sense you. Pearl, perhaps?" She whipped around once she was several feet past the threshold, gaze fixing on the shaking blue gem pressed up against the wall. Steven couldn't see her eyes, but the orange gem's voice was enough to tell him that this was not about to be a friendly encounter.

Heliodor started to stride forward, stalking upon Pearl like a bird of prey, ready to strike. Her voice only became more deadly as she advanced on her – mercifully, Pearl did not make any indication that Steven was floating above their heads, likely too frozen in fear.

"I thought you may have run off, I just had a feeling¸ you might say." Pearl grabbed her arm defensively, much like Steven did out of habit anymore. His stomach twisted uncomfortably as he watched, Heliodor almost upon her, fighting with himself.

She'll die anyways, this was never going to work.

If you just go back to your cell, you won't get punished anymore.

But she doesn't deserve to die – she didn't even do anything!

It doesn't matter. She's a Pearl, they don't need a reason.

"Ugh," Steven said, making no effort to be quiet. He moved Dani to his left hand and held up his left, summoning his shield and grabbing it one-handed. Turning awkwardly, he managed to whip it effectively, hitting Heliodor squarely in the back.

"Wha – you!" The orange gem's expression went from surprised to infuriated, spinning to face him.

Steven dropped easily to the ground, landing on his feet. "I won't let you hurt her." He summoned his shield again, leaving Dani safely in the air.

"Oh?" Her gem started to glow and her hands turned into long, dangerous claws, shimmering orange and expelling a dangerous looking vapor.

She started to walk forward, after Steven, silent and predatory. Absently, his left hand flexed for a whip that didn't exist, a morning star that he didn't want but could really use right about now.

Heliodor was almost upon him, kicking the forgotten blue shards out of the way. Steven gulped hard, but kept his ground, waiting for an opening.

But the opening never came. Heliodor opened her mouth to speak, likely some sort of belittling taunt, but her voice caught in her throat. Steven's eyes went wide as a white beam lanced her physical form, piercing her through the gemstone rooted in her torso. Eyes wide, Heliodor's face began to puff up obscenely, her features contorted strangely under the sudden light. A moment later, she poofed, her gemstone clattering against the floor in a surge of orange smoke.

Steven's mouth had fallen open, and as the smoke cleared he looked up from the floor to Blue Pearl, hovering over the same panel as before. She looked shaken, but sort of proud, too.

Naturally, Steven's eyes became stars. He should have kept his voice down, but the moment was too gratifying. "Pearl, that was so cool!" She blushed prettily, dark blue peaking beneath her hair. Maybe it was the adrenaline of the moment, but she actually smiled a tiny smile.

"I guess… it was 'cool', wasn't it?"

Still beaming, Steven leaned down and bubbled Heliodor and the unnamed blue shards that had scattered across the crisp white floors. Should he send her back to the Temple? That would be a weird conversation if the Gems eventually unbubbled her, decades or centuries later.

"I don't remember bubbling you," Pearl might say, scratching her chin thoughtfully.

Amethyst would probably laugh, and Garnet would say nothing,

"You wretched Pearls!" Heliodor would shake her fist at the ceiling, defeated.

Shaking his head, Steven decided he didn't really have a choice; it would be much worse if he left her here to reform while trying to sneak Blue and Yellow Pearl off-ship – just another punishment to add to the pile.

Blue Pearl studied his frown, coming closer, obviously on edge after being found once – they would not be so lucky again. "H-hybrid child? Are you alright?"

"Right. Sorry." Blinking a few times, Steven tapped the top of both bubbles and sent them away. Without missing a beat, he then jumped into the air, this time a little more carefully, and grabbed Dani again.

Now it was Pearl's turn to frown. "What do we do now? I can get you to where they're keeping Yellow, but…" She did not know the first thing about shards, and after the threat of artificial fusion was made against her, she was nervous about his intentions.

"I… can heal her, apparently." Steven didn't sound very confident, which did little to reassure Blue Pearl.

He bit his lip, a little worried – he hadn't seriously thought about how he would heal her. "I've got healing spit, like you saw, but apparently I've got healing… plasma, too?" Pearl was looking at him, her expression making it clear that she had no idea what he was talking about, so he just scratched his head frustratingly.

"Okay, let's just, get out of here first. Is there anywhere we can go, so I can do this?"

Looking down and her feet, Pearl folded her hands together; she looked so scared once again. "I-I'm sorry, I don't know. We are usually not allowed in White Diamond's military district, and I'm afraid we haven't much time."

Steven was a little annoyed by that, but he had already come this far to help her, so he was resigned to do the only thing he could. "Okay. Well, then you've got to help me. This is going to be… gross, probably," he started to walk towards a wall so he could sit down, still holding Dani's bubble between his hands.

Timid but graceful, she followed him to the wall, but did not sit. "What do I need to do?"

"I need you to… stab me," he said, chuckling weakly. She did not understand what was funny about it, but she did not argue.

Blue Pearl raised a hand to her chest as her gem started to glow, withdrawing a thin blue sword, delicate and pointed to a deadly tip. Steven watched her, surprised and a little disturbed by her complacency, but mostly interested by her pretty blue blade. He didn't know a lot about swords besides training with Connie and what his Pearl had taught him, but he was pretty sure it was a rapier.

She gripped the blade in her hands with no confidence whatsoever – she lacked all of the refinement and technique of Connie and Pearl, but then, it was unlikely she ever had need of her weapon. Gently, she spoke. "How should I… ?"

He had no idea how long this would take and if they would have sufficient time, so he didn't bother with a thorough explanation – just the big points. "Um… so, the idea is I will bleed on her shards, and my blood has this thing called plasma, which is super powerful healing stuff. It could take a little or a lot, I just know the more there is the faster it will go. Although, not too much cause I don't want to die," he was talking in rapid fire, trying to sort it out in his own mind as he tried to give her instructions. "Okay, so, they did my arm before and that used a lot of blood, so just, try that. Do it here, but don't like, slice it. Just poke and pull it out. One second." Steven popped the bubble, collecting Dani's shards together as he brushed off most of the dirt. Then, he awkwardly propped himself sideways so he could hold his arm over the pile.

Then, Steven extended his right arm, healed from the Rose Quartz tears earlier so there were no longer unsightly bruises. He took a deep breath and tensed, looking away. "Okay, do it."

Blue Pearl was anxious as she watched him ready himself, but she set her face firmly and did as she was told.

Biting his tongue, Steven felt blood rise in his mouth as cold metal pierced his skin. Then, the immediate stabbing pain was over, followed by a dull pulsing pain as his blood started to pool around Dani's shards. Absently, Steven noted that this moment was really, really weird – even by the standards of his bizarre life.

There was a pause while Steven squeezed his eyes together, trying to ignore the pain and the dizziness as he started to lose blood, waiting for something to happen.

Delicately, Blue Pearl crouched next to him, away from the shards but close to his face. Very lightly, she placed a hand on his other arm, a silent show of her gratitude. The cool touch was nice, friendly, so Steven smiled weakly and panted as the blood started to stain his clothes.

Wanting a distraction from the sensation, he tried to strike up a conversation with the first thing that came to mind.

Voice hushed, he asked, "So, how old are you?"

Part of him expected her to laugh at the strange question, but she was not exactly a gem of humor. "I am 8,680 years old."

That was a surprising answer. "W-wow. Huh." He didn't really know what else to say, but again was trying to divert his attention from the pain, hoping Dani might start to recover. Her shards had come together, which was reassuring, but there was no "growth" like White Diamond had mentioned.

"What's that like?" Steven managed through clenched teeth.

Blue Pearl looked at him straight in the face. "I don't understand."

Steven looked at her, raising an eyebrow. "Does it, you know, do you like it? You've probably seen a lot of things and been to a lot of places. Is it nice?"

He couldn't tell behind her bangs, but her brow was furrowed. Pearl could not see the utility of such a question, but she answered anyways.

"It was fine, until recently."

The meaning behind her statement made him feel awkward, so he took a deep breath and glanced at his arm. It was bleeding pretty badly, but he wasn't as sickeningly dizzy as he was when Yellow Diamond ripped the needle from his arm, so he looked down at Dani's shards intensely.

Come on, this has to work… Please, come on. She will die, and White Diamond will be furious. A bit selfishly, Steven couldn't deny that he wanted to see Dani again, too. If she could take the Pearls and escape, he could rest a bit easier.

They were silent for a minute, both of them watching the shards, tense and fearful.

Pearl broke the silence at some point, after Steven released a particularly shuddery breath. "I- I am sorry for your pain, hybrid child. You are… you are doing me a kindness I do not deserve." Her voice sounded tight, like she may be fighting back tears. Steven was just surprised.

"Don't worry about it, we'll get you out of here. Nobody deserves this," he looked up at the bubbles, gesturing broadly to the world beyond. When he had been taken, his whole world had been flipped upside down, so he couldn't blame her for being terrified.

After a pause, Steven added a lingering thought. "You don't have to call me any of that half-gem, hybrid stuff, by the way. You can call me Steven. I mean, if you want to."

Before Pearl could respond, they both gasped as a soft light began to glow at the end of Steven's elbow – the Danburite shards had fully connected, neatly woven together as if there had been no damage at all, and a moment later, the gemstone lifted into the air and a tall, white gem appeared before them, looking down at her thin hands distractedly.

Her voice, already naturally quiet, made Steven's face light up.

"I'm – I'm back? The… pain, we reformed? I'm back… I'm back!" She said, looking at her form – she looked entirely the same to him with one obvious exception – she seemed much more proportional without her bulky limb enhancers. Before she could even register what was happening, Steven pushed himself up weakly, holding his wound but beaming. Whispering excitedly, he called her attention to them. "Dani!"

Looking up, Steven watched her face quickly grow from overjoyed to disturbed, studying the pool of blood that stained his clothes – the boy could not keep a single pair of clothes clean, could he? Then there was the shaking, confused form of her Diamond's Pearl, perched at his side fearfully. Danburite was confused, but more than anything, concerned, and she quickly came over to him and took his arm.

"S-Steven, what's happening? Why are we here?" Danburite whispered urgently, automatically ripping his shirt tail (much more neatly than he had the first time) and securing it like a bandage around his arm. Her hands felt clumsy and awkward without her limb enhancers, but she could manage for now.

All of his pain, his mistakes, and his worries evaporated for a moment, and he didn't even mind the faintness making his vision swim. He was so happy to see her, that it had worked, that he could apologize. "Dani, I'm so so sorry about what happened. I didn't know you would be hurt, and then Yellow and Blue Diamond were there, and you didn't deserve what happened, and then White Diamond came out of nowhere – I was so scared when the Gems showed up, but I got them to leave," he winced, skipping over Connie in his rushed explanation. "And I healed you and now you're back! I'm so glad you're okay." She gave him a small smile, not bothering to ask for clarifying details right now – he was still losing a lot of blood, and she needed to get him to proper medical attention immediately, but he was already talking before she could stop him. This time, his voice was sadder, eyes a little darker.

"Right, but, you're back now. I need you and Pearl," he looked at the blue gem to his side and smiled weakly. "To take Yellow Pearl get out of here. You can lead Dani to her, right?" Blue Pearl nodded, but did not speak. Her mouth was turned down.

Now Danburite was rightfully confused, looking between them. "What? What are you talking about?"

Steven was growing a little paler, a little colder, but he did not falter in his determination. "You told me, before everything got crazy. Well, it was already crazy, but you know what I mean. Before we were stopped by White Pearl, in the hallway – you said you could get me out. You know a way off Homeworld, right? Take Pearl, and the other Pearl, and you can all go to Earth. You'll be safe there, you can tell the Gems everything and they'll protect you."

His eyes were sparkling, even if his voice was weak. Danburite was starting to understand. "Wait, Steven, are you telling me to take them and leave you?"

Steven lowered his eyes, looking away from both of them; Pearl had gone through this same thing with him in the dream, so he had sort of expected it.

"Yes, but… Dani, it has to be this way. I'm sorry…" She put a hand under her chin, using her other to put pressure on his arm. Once he was looking at her, she took off her visor, blue eyes reading his face.

"Do not close your eyes; focus on your breathing. You have… lost a lot of blood."

He frowned. "It's fine, I'll be fine. White Diamond, she… she won't let me die. Once you go I'll be healed again. She's… done it before." He cringed, glad the marks on his legs were covered.

She did not look satisfied, examining his pupils as he blinked away sudden tears. "Steven, I'm not sure what's happened, but I won't leave you behind." He was about to protest, but she looked at Blue Pearl to his side.

"Pearl, hold this. Put even pressure on it." Delicate but firm, blue fingers pushed on his arm, and Dani put her visor back on, about to rip a new piece of cloth from his shirt.

Steven was getting a little upset with her now – he had done all of this so they could escape, and now they were both just sitting there, tending to him. He nudge away from Dani's hands. "No, Dani. You don't understand – White Diamond will shatter you, both of you. She won't kill me, so you need to go while you can. It's the only way the Gems were able to get away."

She stopped, drawing both of her hands in front of her, pausing. Her face was unreadable, looking at him as he winced under the pressure on his arm.

"You did this," she gestured at the blood, his arm. "You did this to bring me back, didn't you?"

He nodded. Danburite sighed, a human habit she had picked up after centuries of learning their culture, and took her visor off again. She covered her eyes with one hand, her lips pressed into a line.

SMACK.

Steven instinctively went to cover his cheek with his hand, which was a mistake, but the stinging red against his face was a slight distraction from the pain at the inside of his elbow.

Danburite had just smacked him, hard, and he blinked several times in shock. Before he could speak, she grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look at her.

"Steven, don't you remember what I told you, back before you were brought here? Self-sacrifice is not noble – You will die if you keep this up." She let her hands fall, starting to work on a make-shift bandage with extra padding this time, taking his arm from Pearl but without losing her even tone.

"You have done great things and shown great kindness to many – many who did not even deserve it. But do you not see what is happening? The truth is this does not end with just your friends, or the Pearls, or me. You can save us, and maybe live to see the next day, but what about the next gem that comes into your life? They will become the next target, and the Diamonds will never stop trying to make you feel sorry for caring about us." She looked up at him again, somehow her monotone making the words hurt even more than his arm.

"D-Dani, I…" but she cut him off.

"Steven, you are not like other humans, and you are not like other gems. You have the strength of our kind, yet all of the spirit of organic life. I can tell you, your human capacity for caring is your greatest strength, but you are letting it become your greatest weakness. You care so much – so much that it will literally kill you."

Blinking a few times, Steven watched her dress his wound as best she could, trying to process her words. Could he have been so, so wrong this whole time? That hurt more to admit than all of the times he had cracked, all of the times he had been made to fuse, all of the bruises and welts he had accrued. The Gems had the chance to save him, at least when Pearl and Lapis found him alone for sure, and he let them go.

No, that wasn't even right – he made them go. What was wrong with him?

"…What am I doing?" Steven finally said, his voice low, watching Dani instruct Pearl to hold something in place.

He was crying quietly now, looking away from them. "How could I… I've been so stupid. So, so stupid. And so many people have died, I – we, you both… I just wanted to protect them, to protect you. Why…"

To his surprise, it was Pearl who responded, but he couldn't make out the words of her soft voice.

It was like listening through a long tunnel, and Steven's eyes grew heavy as she spoke to him, her voice soothing and familiar. He couldn't hear her, he was so tired, so he let his eyes rest, and his mind soon followed.

/

Pearl noticed Greg leaning into his van, trying to grab something from the back without fully getting into it. He hadn't seen them coming, closing up the car wash while they approached.

He was so consumed with his search, they reached him before he even surfaced.

Garnet spoke first. "Greg."

He jumped and his voice shot up several octaves. "Yikes!" Turning, he squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed them, like someone from a cartoon.

Greg studied their expressions, and he was quickly able to judge the kind of news they were bringing. "You're back."

Garnet moved to his side, reclining casually onto the bed of the van while Pearl looked away, eyes low as she folded her hands together.

"I see," he said. Greg sat down next to Garnet, placing an arm against his knee and held his chin, looking out into the emptying town.

He had tried to prepare himself for this moment – he knew the longer the Gems were gone, the more likely it was that there were complications. This was not like when he was taken to the Zoo, their description of a quick in-and-out rescue with a few hiccups. Having known the Pearl and Garnet for almost 25 years, he had never seen them look so bad, not even when Rose had passed. Greg wanted to cry, but right now he was just letting the waves of emotion wash over him.

They sat there for a moment, letting Greg come to his understanding at his own pace, before Pearl couldn't take it anymore. "I am… so, so sorry, Greg. Please, understand, we did everything we could…" Pearl turned away, looking up at the stars. Right now, she couldn't look at his face, too at risk of crying herself.

Garnet placed a hand on his shoulder, comforting despite her usual solemnity. "Greg, we know you often ask not to be involved in our world. We are willing to tell you everything, or as little as you like, but we do not want to add to your burden."

He nodded slowly, trying and failing to accept that Steven was really gone. Attempting to speak, Greg had to clear the arid discomfort that had settled in his throat. "J-just, what you think is important. I'll ask questions if I have them."

"Then we will start from the beginning." Garnet responded, withdrawing her hand and placing it against her knee.

Pearl decided to start, still looking up into the universe. "S-Steven was taken, first to the Zoo, then to a ship belonging to Blue Diamond, then to Homeworld." She tried to make her voice as even as possible, wanting to give Greg his moment to grieve.

She paused, and continued – Garnet would jump in when she felt it appropriate. "He came to me in a dream, and told us not to come. He said it… wouldn't be worth it." Greg inhaled a large breath, but said nothing.

"Once we arrived on Homeworld, everyone got separated. A… lot happened between all of us, but we discovered Steven was… set to be executed." Her voice cracked at the end, remembering how he hugged her and Lapis before pushing them down onto the warp pad.

Greg couldn't help himself, putting his face in his hands. "He's just a kid…"

Standing up, Garnet walked next to Pearl and joined her star-gazing, taking over the narrative. "Things began to fall apart. Yellow and Blue Diamond had staged a coup to oust White Diamond, but it backfired, and they are both gone now. White Diamond had orchestrated the whole thing from the moment Steven set foot on Homeworld, and had used us all as a distraction. Then, she was going to destroy us…" The fusions hands were shaking.

Pearl finished for her. "But Steven… gave himself up for us. He willingly agreed to… stay a prisoner. We were forced onto a ship that brought us back to Earth, and we tried to stop him, Greg, we really did – "

"Stop." Greg stood up from the van, walked over to the side of the car wash and faced the sea, dark waves crashing into the sand. Pearl and Garnet exchanged a worried look, but did not speak. Was he angry? Upset? They couldn't tell, and he wasn't looking at them.

He did not move, but he raised his voice so they could hear him. "He's alive out there, then."

Garnet frowned, and moved a little closer towards him. "Yes, Greg, but we can't – "

"You can't go back and get him. I got it." His voice was harder than he intended, but there was a lot he had to process.

Now it was Pearl's turn to try to intervene, confused. "But, you realize – "

"Please, stop, both of you." He was breathing hard, trying to steady himself.

"I don't want to yell at you, so please, just go."

Pearl and Garnet shared a hurt glance and turned to walk away, back to the Temple.

He stood there for another fifteen minutes, just watching the sea come and go, angry and disappointed and completely unsurprised.

While it did come as a surprise that Steven was alive, but after that he knew Steven well enough to know what happened. He was just like Rose, wasn't he? And now he's lost them both. Magical, inspiring, wholesome, well-intended, and managing way too much for any one person. Rose had a hard time dealing with her guilt after the war, and she was thousands of years old. Steven was so young, he loved music and the ocean and donuts – he didn't need to nor deserved to be caught up in all of this.

As a father, Greg couldn't help but reflect inward as he went back to the van, closing the doors behind him. Questions flooded his mind, a million scenarios where he could have done something different – maybe he never should have let him move in with them, or he should have refused to let him go back to Beach City when that big green hand showed up in the sky, or stopped him when he wanted to go to Korea and the Gems refused to take him.

Or maybe it was bound to be like this, no matter what he did. The truth was right in front of him from the moment Steven was born, implanted in his navel; his life was going to be tied irrevocably into everything Rose had been a part of, the good and the bad.

But it hurt. It hurt so, so much that Greg Universe hadn't even realized he started to cry until his collar was soaked wet from his tears. How do you live with yourself, knowing your son is alive out there, being treated like a war criminal at the mercy of murderous aliens?

There were so many things he still wanted to say to his little guy. His only son. The best part of his entire life had been raising him. Steven was kind, and forgiving, and clever and brave. He had done more in his fourteen years, brought more love and kindness to this Earth, than even Rose had in her thousands of years. There was something indescribable about his laugh, the way his eyes became stars when he would listen to one of Greg's stories. The hardest part of it all was, someone else hadn't just taken him, but they were constantly in a state of taking him away. His son was alive, and he would grow up living an empty life – what had Pearl said, as a prisoner? And Greg would never see him again.

But then, maybe it made sense, in a way – that Steven would grow up beyond the stars. He was a star himself, too far away to grasp but near enough to admire, an energy too bright to be contained by this Earth. He was brilliant and remarkable, and he shined no matter how dark the sky.