40. Same Old Game
The final crawl to the warp pad felt like the longest walk of Danburite's life. She had to believe there was more than one warp pad in this facility, but it would have been heedless to try to search for one – even if it could have been closer – because the probability of failure was higher than if they pursued a sure-thing, but that didn't make the whole experience any less frustrating.
Pearl had adopted her strut as Holly Blue Agate, hiding the yellow gemstone of her friend in her palm – she did not want to bubble her at risk of being obvious, but it was also a huge risk that she might reform prematurely.
Left.
Turning, Dani used this as a good marker to check Steven's pulse once again – less than thirty now.
Absently, the white gem let her mind turn over what might happen if they are actually successful. Hope is irrational, so she invested very little stake in such possibilities, but having a plan was different.
Would she just… live on Earth? Would she be welcomed there? Did she want to be welcomed there?
She had been to the colony a handful of times for research purposes, but what would she do there? This had really become more of a mess than she ever could have intended, but if there was one thing Danburite knew, it was her orders. She had been given one assignment, one responsibility: to maintain and protect any humans under Homeworld's control. At the time, that had been restricted to Pink Diamond's base, but now… While it felt like she might be exceeding expectations, Dani felt she a commitment to this child as much as she did to Jay-Ten, You-Twelve, or Wy-Six, if not more, considering that he had brought her back to life.
Those musings were secondary, however, the "brought her back to life" part of things taking precedence. This was a matter that was far more troubling, for many physiological, gemological, and even ethical reasons. How did he bring her back – with his blood, sure, she had gathered that much; but what was the connection? For her Diamond and Yellow Diamond, and now White Diamond, to take such a vested interest in him, he must be much more than a half-human/half-gem anomaly.
Involuntarily, her lips turned up into a bemused expression as she looked into the boy's face – this hybrid was so important that literal supreme rulers were feuding over him, and he nearly killed himself to bring her back? All as an extension of helping this Pearl? He really was an anomaly.
Was it this necromantic ability that they so coveted? It would explain why her Diamond had summoned her to Homeworld, to keep him alive, but if they had reached the end of that yellow hallway, hadn't been stopped by another Pearl… Something just did not make sense.
If he survived, Danburite wondered if he might let her examine him to find out more, answer some of these mysteries.
Left again.
They had arrived – the door.
Pearl's shoulders relaxed, overcome with relief that they actually made it without being interrupted. Heart breaking, she ran her thumb over the surface of the smooth yellow gemstone in her hand, glad she could at least do this for yellow – take her off-planet, let her be free from this place and what they had done to her.
Checking behind her shoulder, Pearl released a tiny breath and shapeshifted back to normal and approached the panel in the wall.
"You know… where to go?" she whispered as the massive, Diamond-shaped entrance revealed an oversized warp pad to match. Danburite gave her a firm nod – she did, and they had made it this far, so there was no going back.
They entered the room, and the white wall sealed behind them ominously. Now, they could both fully relax – they were totally alone, in a private space, and Steven had not yet died.
Just a little longer, Steven.
Stepping onto the stone, a refreshing change for both of them from White Diamond's metal hell, Danburite let herself sigh lightly. "Okay - we will go to Yellow Diamond's R&D. I arrived on an – w-wait."
The white gem looked from her left to the right, eyes studying the ground, and Pearl peaked up at her from behind her pretty hair.
"W-what is it? Is it the boy?" She sounded very anxious.
Danburite was looking at her shoes, though, inspecting the bottom of her feet as she shifted Steven awkwardly. "No… never mind. I just thought…"
Shaking her head quickly, she set her mouth into a firm line and protectively held Steven a little tighter. "Let's go."
There was a sudden rush of color and a buoyancy that overcame them both, a sensation unique to warping through nebulous space, and then they touched down on solid ground. Yellow Diamond's R&D district – they had truly made it.
Advancing down hallways briskly, passing the occasional confused but preoccupied gem, they managed to make most of the journey uninterrupted. Once, an important looking Binnite stopped them, surprised to see a Danburite in ownership of a Pearl. She had a Pearl of her own, a mystic looking green color, head pointed down to the floor. To their fortune, Dani's usual coloration was white, and she only had to synch her flowing robes closed over Steven to hide him and the diamond emblazoned on her chest.
With a brief show of shame to have lost her limb enhancers, the Binnite adopted an expression of pity and left them.
Something had felt… off earlier, but the white gem couldn't put her finger on it. Occasionally, she would glance over her shoulder, a paranoia setting in. There was something different about the R&D district from the last time she had been here (and, Danburite still didn't know exactly what had happened to Blue or Yellow Diamond, given that Steven's earlier explanation had been lacking). Everything was alive in a bustle of efficiency, which she could only assume was normal, but still… It was a nebulous sort of doubt, more likely tied to Steven's failing heartbeat than anything.
Pearl was no better; could it really have been that easy? Certainly, she was devastated by what happened to Yellow, so that didn't necessarily make things feel "easy," per say, but to have so easily gone in and out of White Diamond's Military District? To her, a Pearl, it felt terribly pleasant – defiant, wrong – but she was also captivated by her own success.
That did not alleviate her qualms, though. A fleeting rush was one thing; a lifetime of fear was another. The whole experience felt surreal, it didn't feel right, it didn't feel possible. Any moment she expected to be grabbed by a soldier, the Heliodor, another Pearl, Holly Blue Agate, the Binnite, or even White Diamond herself. Usually watchful and quiet, Pearl couldn't shake the apprehension that crept from Yellow's gemstone all the way up to her chest, gripping her heart. It just felt like there was someone was right behind them.
As it turned out, there was no one right behind them, and they made their way to Danburite's arrival vessel with relative ease.
There was, however, always someone who was two moves ahead.
/
Garnet turned her head a little to the side, one hand holding her chin.
"Yes, no, a little bit left. Your left, not mine – sorry. Good. Right there." She was standing outside the barn, helping Peridot practice her metal powers – the green gem was feeling more confident with her abilities since forming Prehnite, although the kinesis was very different. As Prehnite, they could bend any alloy to their will as easily as Lapis could manipulate water; Peridot could only lift, twist, and turn metal, but she was still determined to improve.
"Yes!" The green gem shot her hands up, which was a mistake. They had been mounting a sign outside of the barn at the front door, and when she threw her arms up, the shred signage went straight through the second floor balcony.
"Ahh…" Garnet put on her most serious expression. "I can't lie; I saw this happening. I sort of just wanted to see it."
Peridot was having none of that – utterly defeated, she bent downwards, slouching at the middle and hanging her arms and head low. "Easy for you… Lapis will kill me when she gets back…"
The fusion walked up to the little green gem and crouched down next to her.
"I'm sorry Peridot, I should have warned you." She slapped her firmly on the back, a show of support, that sent the green gem sprawling into the dirt.
The now disheveled, tiny ball of fury that was once a dignified engineer said something indiscernible with her face against the ground, although Garnet thought it sounded like it may have had something to do with pebbles, dirt, and clods.
Smirking, she walked outside, looking around the hills and the sky. It hadn't even been a full day since they've returned, and yet, there was something about Earth that made time feel like it passed slowly. The rise and fall of the sun in the sky, as predictable as it was beautiful, made her feel both at home and entirely lost – it was a peculiar feeling, sort of like fusing with someone after a long time. You knew the way it was supposed to be, but it's more complicated than that; there were new memories, feelings, and parts of their personality that had developed. They had changed, you had changed, yet you were still one being.
Like it had felt to be Sugilite again, actually. Amethyst and Garnet had not fused since all that happened with the Communication Hub many months ago, so Sugilite was different. Powerful and reckless, sure, but Amethyst seemed… better? That didn't feel like the right word to Garnet, but she couldn't come up with anything more exacting at the moment.
The purple gem had not come out of the Temple since they had come back, which was worrying after hearing what had happened to the "Famethyst." When they had fused, Amethyst had seemed so confident and forward-thinking – she's grown so much with all that's happened, and she was even the one to stop Pearl and her from squabbling on the Roaming Eye. But… what would this do to her? It was a question each of them wondered about each other, heavy with guilt since their feet touched ground with Earth.
Lapis wondered how Peridot would be affected; Pearl wondered how Greg would react; Connie worried after her parents, Pearl after Connie, Peridot after Pearl, Garnet after Lapis, and it just continued like that in circles. No one knew how to talk about it, which is exactly why she asked them all to join her this afternoon outside the barn.
It was the… best foreseeable opportunity for them to communally heal, setting some standards for what to expect in the months to come. She could already tell Pearl was gearing up for fighting, but Lapis wanted to stay as far from Homeworld as possible. Peridot was… complicated, whereas Connie was resigned to do whatever she felt was best for the team. And finally, Amethyst… what would Amethyst want? She couldn't even see through the possibilities; there were simply too many.
Clearing her throat, Peridot had come to stand next to Garnet outside, trying to fix her gaze on whatever she was looking at. "Anything… interesting, out there?"
"The future? Or the countryside?" The fusion turned her attention to Peridot, who was kicking a rock at her feet.
"Hmm… Let's go, countryside first."
"Well… there are some cows off to the East, and they're always causing trouble." Garnet said evenly, her voice betraying no hint of sarcasm.
Nodding her head seriously, Peridot pressed for more. "Good to know, good to know… And the future?"
The fusion moved to sit against some hay, leaning back against the outer wall of the barn.
"Well, for starters, Lapis will be back soon."
The green gem made a sound between a groan and a yelp, having temporarily forgotten about her predicament.
"You've gotta hide me…" she cowered next to the pile of hay.
Garnet smirked – there was something about being in the green gem's company that always seemed to put her in a good mood.
"Oh Peridot, I don't need future vision to tell you that you won't be able to hide that from Lapis." She nodded her head at the gaping hole through Lapis favorite place to watch Camp Pining Hearts and to cuddle with Pumpkin, eliciting a full-scale groan from the green gem.
/
Connie turned around, looking at the ground before pressing a hand over her eyes.
"I got this… I can do this…" she was taking deep breaths, nodding her head, fifteen feet from the front of her home. She could hear Pearl knocking on the front door – it was a Saturday afternoon, so both of her parents should be home.
At first, she had not been planning on speaking to her parents until Monday or Tuesday, wanting to use the weekend to work up her nerve, but she had opted to only stay at Steven's house for one night before changing her mind. That morning, she had awoken and went into town to clear her head, not wanting to bother Pearl or the Gems, but she had run into Mr. Universe on the boardwalk. It was hard to say who had been more surprised.
"I… like the new look, Connie." He said wryly, his eyes crinkling in a sad smile that she had been his permanent expression since Steven disappeared.
She chuckled lightly. "T-thanks, Mr. Universe. I guess you… heard… I'm, I'm sorry." Connie started to tear up almost immediately, feeling weighted by inexpressible guilt and loss. They both loved him, and they both lost him.
He approached her and wrapped his arms around her gently, not bothering to ask for an explanation – there were no words that could ever pass between them that would be adequate for those feelings.
"Shh, Connie, it'll be alright. It'll be alright." But his voice had its own heavy quality to it, obviously filled with loss.
They held each other for a few more minutes until Connie was composed enough to walk on her own, and he led them to the Beach Citywalk Fries where he got himself a morning special, offering to pay for Connie, but she wasn't hungry. In silence, they made their way back to the car wash, and they started to talk about what happened. He cringed at some points, but his cheeks were dry, and they exchanged a few sad questions along the way.
After it was over and the fried potatoes had run out, he took a deep breath and said, "Wow. I can only imagine how happy your parents must be."
That was so surprising that she started to cough. "H-H-Happy? With all due respect, I don't think that's what they will be, Mr. Universe."
He raised an eyebrow at her. "Wait – 'will be'? You mean haven't talked to them yet?"
Connie rubbed her arm shamefully. "N-no… I'm still trying to catch up with all that happened, I'm not sure if I can face them right now."
Standing up, he ran a hand through his long hair, releasing an exasperated sigh. "Connie, I don't care if you're pink, brown, purple, or blue – as far as I'm concerned, we're both still human beings. And as one human to another, I have to tell you, I think you're being unfair to them."
She had not expected the sudden change in his attitude, but his voice wasn't offending or hurtful. It was… sad.
"I-I, well," he started, his voice filled with hurt.
Turning to face her, Greg had a single tear rolling down his chin. "If… If I could have had one more moment with him, or known one day sooner that he was home… Well, I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I'm not in a position to tell you what to do, Connie, but… just think about it."
A shot of nerves made her hands start to shake as she heard the familiar latch of the front door unlock.
Here goes…
"Oh, oh, Priya – it's, um" she could hear Dad struggling, unsure of how exactly to describe Pearl standing at their doorstep. Connie was just around the corner, far enough away that they wouldn't see her from the entrance, but close enough that she could hear.
Pearl spoke up. "Um, it's Pearl, Connie's trainer and Crystal Gem."
Her Dad just mouthed nervously, waiting for his wife to show up at the door. "I, well, it's nice to, um, I didn't think you, well, wait, here she comes…"
There was a pause, and she could hear her Mom speak. "Pearl? Where's Connie. Is – no, she isn't…." Her voice quickly became frantic.
Pearl interrupted. "She is alive, do not worry, Dr. Maheswaran. She asked I come to you first, just to ease your worries. Connie has undergone a… change since returning. Connie…?"
The white gem turned to her, off to the side, and nodded seriously. Connie took a deep breath and turned the corner.
Her parents face would have been downright comical if she didn't know what came next, hidden behind the shock. Her Dad actually took off his glasses and looked at her, eyes squinting to make sure she was, in fact, as she appeared to be.
"Connie, you're…" her mother started to say, mouth hanging open.
Her dad finished, putting his glasses back on. "Pink?"
Once the initial disbelief wore off, her parents invited Pearl inside to speak more meaningfully, all of them seated at her family kitchen table.
"I'm not sure how much Connie or Greg has told you about the… details of our kind. I know you were all speaking daily before we left Earth?" Pearl began, looking at Connie who nodded.
Doug was seated to Connie's right, holding his daughter's hand and rubbing circles with his thumb.
"We know some things, the… monsters you fight, somethings about Greg's wife, and that other… people like you were the ones who took him. That he was on another planet?"
Nodding, Pearl's voice was grim. Rose and Greg never married, but that didn't really matter.
"Yes, that's the basics. Now, once we left…"
Her mom said nothing for a while, massaging circles into her tired eyes with her thumb and forefinger, listening to Pearl explain the kinder, abridged version of all that happened.
Her dad was at least being… patient. His eyes kept flickering over to her doubtlessly unusual appearance, although he tried to focus his attention on Pearl since she was the one mostly speaking. The room was heavy with pain and confusion and some other sort of tension Connie could not identify.
"I know you probably have a lot of questions," Pearl folded her hands on top of the table neatly, trying not to betray the exhaustion that lined her hard eyes. "So please, I just want to help."
Doug was looking at Priyanka, who still had not said a word or opened her eyes since sitting at the table, so he cleared his throat.
He hadn't a clue where to start though. "It… sounds like a lot happened. And no one else was seriously hurt?"
Connie nodded, but said nothing. She was watching her mother, who was gearing up to something, she could just tell.
"And, the Universe boy…" Pearl cringed and Connie just pressed her lips together. "He is still out there, fighting this thing off. He was the one who let you get away?"
Stiffening, Pearl's voice went up a few octaves. "Y-yes. Things could have been much worse. Steven… made a difficult choice."
Doug's mouth fell into a frown – he wanted to be angry, to be furious, but somehow he could only feel sorry Mr. Universe and the rest of the boy's caretakers. And then his daughter…
Priyanka finally let her hand fall against the table.
"There's no way to know if this is permanent?" Her hand gestured towards her daughter, the meaning behind her words evident.
"Not yet, I'm afraid. We might – " but the woman raised her hand, silencing Pearl. The white gem had half a mind to remind her that she had spent thousands of years protecting her planet, but she clenched her teeth together and said nothing. The Maheswaran's needed to process – they had every right to be angry.
"So she might continue to… fade, is that how you put it?" Priyanka met Pearl's eyes, both of their faces drawn with lines of concern and frustration and a hundred other emotions right now.
Pearl nodded.
"I see." She closed her eyes again, took a deep breath and stood from the table. They were all tense, even her husband, studying Priya's tightly knit brow. Moving around the length of the table, she stood next to Connie, looking down at her daughter who was looking at her pink hands.
Then, more gently then she could have imagined, her mom was holding her, a hand rubbing into her hair, crying softly.
She was stunned.
"Y-you're not… you're not mad?" Connie asked weakly in her mother's grasp.
Priyanka half chuckled, but continued the hold, squeezing her daughter a little tighter. "Oh, Connie, I'm absolutely furious. You have no idea. But you're here, and right now, that is what's important."
Doug's face softened, and he stood and joined the two most important women in his life in a tight hug, all of them melting into each other. Mouth turned up in a weak smile, Pearl stood silently from the table and began to excuse herself from the house. Before she was out the front door, though, Priyanka had come out and was wiping at her cheeks.
"I… thank you, for bringing her back to us. I am sorry about… Steven." She folded her hands together sincerely, bowing her head as she said his name. Pearl gave her a robotic nod, and watched Connie appear at her mother's side.
"Ma'am – Pearl… I'll, I'll see you soon?" She looked up at her mother, the statement as much a question as it was a farewell.
The woman placed a hand on her shoulder, frowning. "Well, maybe, there is still a lot we need to talk about."
Connie nodded solemnly, understanding that there would still be consequences to follow – but one thing at a time. She watched Pearl walk out the door.
The white gem was not surprised by the Maheswaran's reaction – not necessarily. Everything was new, and fresh, and it all hurt but made them appreciate things they never would have before. Just having their daughter sitting at the kitchen table must have felt like a miracle, once they heard what happened. Things might be different if Connie wished to continue her training, but that was a conversation for a later time.
Right now, they had their child back, and Pearl did not. Her child, her light, was gone.
Marching forward, Pearl did allow herself a final small smile when her ears picked up a final word carried out through the window of the home. It was Doug.
"Hey, for what it's worth, I think pink is kinda cool."
/
"Dani! Pearl!" Steven yelled suddenly, jerking upright and shaking his head.
What… happened?
He gripped for his arm, but there was no bandage, no wound. He was blinking his eyes madly, like he had just resurfaced from a swim in the artic, his body shaking horribly from the cold.
Flinching, Steven realized the surface below was familiar, and not in a comforting way – it was the way a gem's skin felt, cold and hard and smooth. White Diamond was holding him up to her face, looking at him curiously, the glow in her eyes making him writhe.
"What did you say, Steven?"
Clutching his head, Steven wasn't even sure what he had said. Had he been dreaming? How did he get here? Where was Blue Pearl, or Dani? Heliodor? The bubble room?
He spoke slowly, his mouth moving robotically. "I… can't remember, m-my Diamond. Was I… sleeping?"
White Diamond frowned at him, sporting that familiar, thoughtful look. Her eyes lashed him like an icy whip, every time.
"Quite the opposite. You're asleep now – you're dying, in fact."
"O-oh…" Steven said. What else do you say to that?
She studied him skeptically, and he started to grow self-conscious, rubbing the inside of his elbow, still remembering how the point of Pearl's blade felt against his skin, then he moved his hand to his cheek, the sting when Dani had slapped him still fresh in his mind.
"You're not the only one who can communicate through the channels of the mind." White Diamond said in her chilling tone, causing him to wince. "I'm afraid it's the only way I can speak with you right now - you're on your way back to Earth."
Could his heart have beaten out of his chest, it would have. What was she talking about? Going back to Earth? But… what?
White Diamond raised an eyebrow, examining his astonished expression. "Really, Steven, you didn't actually think I was ignorant of the plot hatched by Blue's old Pearl? It's the same old game – let the pawns move first. Haven't you been paying attention?"
She tilted her head, and Steven felt himself shrink under her piercing gaze. "Although, you still manage to surprise me – you nearly died for a Danburite? Had you told me she mattered so much I might have one day considered letting you bring her back on… less gruesome terms. You really need to stop throwing your life around so carelessly."
Steven was staring at her, mouth hanging open dumbly, but he didn't care. She was in control this whole time? Was she insane?
"There is something I wish to show you. Are you prepared to see what we've already accomplished?"
Still lifting his hand to the phantom mark that no longer stung his cheek, Steven's eyes were wide with confusion and fear, unsure of how he was expected to reply – most likely, he didn't have any say in the matter anyways.
We've accomplished?
Standing up, White Diamond held her palm face-up so Steven could see outward; he felt a head rush with her sudden movement. He was not cracked nor hurt for once, so there was no reason for her to bubble him, a weightlessness that had actually become comforting.
Weakly, he tried to form words as she strode down the length of the room.
"We're, I'm… dreaming? Is this even real?"
"Oh, I'm in your head now Steven, but I assure you, this is very real." The thought of White Diamond being in his mind made his heart drop through his stomach, so he closed his eyes and tried not to focus on the swaying and twisting of his insides. It all certainly felt real.
Distracting himself was not exactly difficult. Steven was still consumed with the buzzing in his brain – had he imagined Blue Pearl, her terror, shapeshifting as Holly Blue Agate? Dani, her normal arms, her familiar monotone, the slap? Was this real, or was that? Was this all a dream, or a nightmare? What had he imagined, when did the vision end and reality begin? Everything felt almost like the occasions when Garnet had shown him future vision (a memory which made his heart hurt) – so real he could not tell the difference, but yet… what had happened at all?
A moment later, he was whirled away with White Diamond into a cool stream of iridescent light, reflecting blues and whites prettily against the ends of his vision. White Diamond started speaking at him the moment they returned to a solid surface, but he was too overwhelmed to bother with whatever she might be saying.
The sudden awe that enveloped his brain rendered him literally unable to process anything. The moment the air returned from the warp stream, he felt like he could see everything and nothing all at once. They must be very high up, he guessed, their current vantage point looking out for miles and miles until every futuristic-looking building disappeared over the horizon. Everything – everything was white. Buildings, towers, her hand, the ground, the sky had turned white, the stars no longer twinkling above and beyond their heads.
"The Infinity Spire."
The name was fitting, because it dwarfed absolutely any structure from each zenith of the planet. Steven could not have fathomed such a measureless, ecumenical experience in his wildest imagination – he felt like he had reached the cross in the void of sanity and insanity, teetering dangerously close to collapsing under the sheer limitless weight of this place.
"Homeworld, Steven – it's better this way, don't you think? And I have you to thank for it." she mused, leaning against a pillar taller than even her extraordinary height. They were on the very top of the tower, an open terrace to the world, canopied by a complex, geometric overhead awning supported by Athenian-looking columns.
"I-… b-b-but…" he couldn't make any sensible words, his entire body shaking. This was not like looking up into the galaxy, wondering what was beyond. Right now, it felt like he was the universe, looking down at reality far, far, far below.
"My subjects are very upset that 'Rose Quartz' has gone and shattered not only Pink, but now Yellow and Blue, too." Her voice feigned remorse, and she clicked her tongue as she looked down at her empire.
"But we know the truth of that, don't we, Steven?"
He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again. Anything felt inadequate to express his feelings right now.
"No? You didn't think you were just a beck-and-call healer, did you? Oh, no, no. You're much more valuable than that, Steven. You see, what you've given me is not only immortality, but understanding. Your experience in the mind of the Cluster really opened my eyes to the sheer power buried in our shards – all I needed was you to awaken it." He swallowed hard on his throat, horrified and entirely overwhelmed.
"Imagine it. All of the power of thousands of gems, intensified by fusion, restored perfectly by your powers into totally new, stable gems. And I thought – gems turned into fully-formed, compositionally complex gems in their own right? Soldiers, subjects, warriors? Certainly, that's one application…" She lifted her other hand to her head, cupping her chin as if this conversation was in fact challenging to her in any capacity. It wasn't.
"This whole world… my subjects here… they no longer simply feel loyalty to me, or their old Diamonds, or their Agates, or their assignments, or their colonies."
She smiled, her face a model of authority and terror. "I own them, Steven. I own everything."
Turning, she faced away from the skyline and strode around the parapet, a graceful lap in celebration of her victory.
She mused, holding him aloft so he might gaze out upon the white world. "Don't worry, Steven. You won't be gone long. There are just a few things I need for you to take care of for me while you're away."
/
"NO!" Steven bolted upright again, but this time he immediately regretted it. He flew forward into Dani's hard chest, smacking his forehead against her stone-cold form.
"Steven – you're awake. Thank goodness." She pushed some of his matted hair off his forehead when he winced in pain.
"Oh, forgive me. I was not sure where else to put you; we haven't much room."
Rubbing his bruise, Steven looked around – he was in a small pink pod, only a bit larger than the inside of the drill he had shared with Peridot so long ago. This was taller, so Dani was able to sit up in her seat, and to his left was Blue Pearl, curled into a ball and looking out the window, a delicate bubble between her hands.
The window… Space?
"No, no, no, no no no this is wrong. Wrong. I have to go back – I can't, I can't go!" He flipped himself around in her lap so he was facing the controls and desperately he started to press buttons and dials.
"Take me back, you have to take me back – she, White Diamond – it was a trick, she wanted you to – "
Danburite frowned down at him, disappointed he was still acting like this. Restraining his hands firmly, she turned him around to face her again.
"No, Steven, I told you – I was not about to let you die for us. I am taking you to Earth, where you belong."
He was so angry he felt tears rise in his eyes, but all he could do was lean into her chest like a child. Balling fists in his eyes, he tried to speak through the pain. "No, you don't understand. She came to me while I was asleep. A dream. This… she planned it. All of it. She let you take me."
Pearl and Dani exchanged a look, disturbed by his sudden announcement.
Slowly, the white gem tried to calm him down. "No, Steven – there were complications along the way, but we managed to escape."
He said nothing, overcome with helplessness. She really did own everything, didn't she? How much had she planned, how much did she know? Did she know this whole conversation was going to happen when he woke up? Did she already know where they were going, and when they had left?
How can she know everything?
Quietly, he spoke – mostly to himself. "Why am I going back to Earth?"
The others shared another glance, and Pearl tried her hand this time. "Y-you were the one who said that we would… be safe there." Her voice was soft, but there were hints of worry and even exhaustion that peaked through.
He groaned, lifting his head up and wiping away his tears. "I mean, why did she want me to go back to Earth? You just don't understand… this… she's letting this happen. She said she wanted me to do something there."
Dani was growing anxious by the way he was talking. "Steven, did she say what she wanted you to do when you arrived?"
"No…"
Not wanting to be patronizing, Dani bit her lip, but just placed a comforting hand on top of his head. Humans, especially post-trauma, were prone to nightmares – night terrors, even. This sounded to her much more like that, even if he could travel through dreams.
They sat in silence for some time after that, Steven sniffling and feeling the puncture mark in his arm that Dani had properly bandaged, then running his hand across the welts on his legs.
He was finally going back to Earth, back to his Dad, to the Gems – he had been trying to deny it, but when Dani smacked him it all came back. Of course he wanted to go back, but now, it didn't even feel like he should want that… Steven wasn't going back to Earth on his terms, or even out of defiance of Homeworld's terrible hierarchy. This was exactly what White Diamond wanted, her same old game. Who was a pawn, a knight, a king or a queen? A bishop, a rook? How do you even compete against someone when you don't even know which parts have which names?
For some reason, Steven was reminded of a story his Dad told him once, or was it Connie? He wasn't sure. The one with the boy with wax wings, what was that called? He could remember the way they described it, the reason the story was so sad – the guy in it had come so, so very close to getting what he wanted, but he flew too close to the sun and got burned.
Now, with stars zooming past their tiny pod, Steven felt like he truly understood. He was nearly home, he would get to apologize to the Maheswarans and the Gems and his Dad, but would he get burned? He guessed he would. White Diamond was the sun, and he was the Earth, trapped in her orbit and unable to escape – he would die, or she would explode, but she would never let him go until something changed in the universe. This was just a leash, the furthest apex of his heliocentric existence. He had not escaped, not truly.