CHAPTER 15

Hanna and Emily were on the park, just looking at the view in front of them, while Hanna's head rested on Emily's legs while Emily was resting against a big tree. It was sweet; Hanna thinks. They're just lying there on a blanket that Emily brought. It was simple, different from those extravagant dates that she's been in from her past boyfriends (which didn't include Caleb just to be clear, he was just a suitor)

They were both contented with the silence until one particular cheerleader from their school caught Hanna's attention. "What do you think about Mona Vanderwaal?" she asked the brunette as she looked up to see her girlfriend's face.

"What do you mean what do I think about her?" Emily asked as she looked down to see her girlfriend's face. Hanna just gave her a 'really?'-look and the brunette said, "Oh, you mean do I—well, she's hot. Everybody with eyes can see that."

Hanna sat up straight and slapped Emily's arm then pouted and crossed her arms.

Emily gave her an amused smile that isn't so far from what she feels. "But you asked me." She chuckled. "Be happy I called her hot and not beautiful."

"Thank you then, Em." The blonde said sarcastically. "That's great to know that my girlfriend thinks a popular cheerleader is hot."

Emily scoffed with a smile. "No seriously, Babe. I only fall for beautiful people, like you."

Hanna raised her eyebrow, "So you don't think Mona is beautiful?"

"I don't think so, yet. I mean I don't know her that well to tell." Emily answered truthfully.

Hanna smiled then pouts again before she said, "What if she turned out to be beautiful?"

Emily answered quickly, "It wouldn't matter because to me you'd always be beautiful-er."

That made Hanna smile bigger, "Really, Em? Beautiful-er? That's not even a word."

"Yes it is; that's in my dictionary below the name Hanna." Hanna can't deny now that Emily is really sweet, like really sweet.

"That was smooth." Hanna smiled.

Emily smirked. "You think so?"

"Uh-huh. You're the most sweet person I've ever met." The blonde agreed that made her girlfriend grin.

"Goodbye grammar." Emily commented that made Hanna laugh.

"You started it." Hanna said as she kissed Emily in her cheek. "Do you even know how many letters are there in the alphabet?"

Emily raised her eyebrow at Hanna.

"I knew you didn't know. Trivia: it's 21." Hanna said, like it was the most trivial thing that Emily could ever learn.

"Is that a trick question? Because as far as I know it's always been 26." Emily was now really confused but she's trying to hide it.

"No." the blonde answered firmly, then her expression changed and, "Oh…I must've forgot U.R.A.Q.T."

Emily laughed because she thinks that, that was corny. But she was amused nonetheless; because for one, it was Hanna, and Emily could bet that she's trying to be sweet, but then again she always find Hanna cute and sweet. It was the brunette's turn to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek. "I love you, dork."

"I love you too, weirdo." Hanna answered back and kissed Emily on the lips, but before she could, "Wait! Is this our first date because if it-" Apparently Emily couldn't wait any longer, so she leaned closer to Hanna for their lips to touch, but lips touched Hanna's hands instead.

The blonde stood up and waited for the brunette to stand as well.

"Are you trying to be a tease, Babe?" Emily asked as she stood up.

Hanna smiled showing her dimples, which made Emily smile as well. "No, Silly, we're in a public place and I want to do this but I was thinking…" the girl hesitated.

"Come on, what is it?" Emily asked expectantly.

"Do you, maybe want to go to our house? My parents-" she stopped when she saw Emily crossed her arms to cover her body, exaggeratedly, if she may add. "Shut up!" she slapped her girlfriend's left arm. "You know I'm not talking about that."

Emily chuckled. "I'm just kidding but yes."

The blonde looked at her questioningly.

"Yes, I'd love it if you'd introduce me to your parents as…you know…" Emily said, now caressing the back of her neck with her left hand.

Hanna grinned at the sight of a nervous Emily. "My girlfriend." She confirmed, as if it was the first time.

Emily could only smile, it still has the same effect on her, hearing Hanna call her, her girlfriend.

"I mean, my Mom knows…" Hanna said casually as if it would prevent Emily from panicking.

"What?! How come I didn't know this? What did she say? Is that why we need to go to your house now?" Emily asked continuously.

"Em, breathe. It's okay." Hanna said calmly.

"Okay? How could this be ok-"

"She's okay with it." Hanna interrupted the brunette.

Emily's face started to relax. "She is?"

"Yeah, I said to her, 'Mom, Em and I are going on a date today, can I go?' then she said 'Ooh, you're having a friendly date? That's sweet.' And I said 'No, mom, it's a date date.'

Then she said, 'Oh, okay.' As realization sank in…

'Okay? So you don't care?' I said crossing my fingers.

She said 'Of course I do, but should I be worried?'

'Nope, you have nothing to worry about. Definitely.' And that's the end of it really, I hugged her and kissed her and thanked her and said that I love her."

Emily smiled, she's been doing a lot of smiling lately, smiles that isn't forced. "I'm glad she's okay with it."

"I'm gladder." Hanna replied.

"So, what if your Dad…" Emily trailed off. "They pretty much don't agree with anything, so there's a bigger possibility that-"

"Em, hush. We'll be okay." The blonde reached for Emily's hands. "We're going to be okay." She reassured her.

Spencer's POV:

"Hi, Spence! What are you up to?" Aria greeted me with a genuine smile on her face. It's been a while since I saw her smile like that…since the Hanna and Emily thing.

"Nothing much, just planning to stay here at home." I said since I'm not in the mood to participate to the world today. "And you? What brought you here?"

"Well…" she sat on the couch across me, since I was on the single-sized couch, "Rumor has it that Toby's back in town and I saw him earlier…" I know where this is going.

"Wait, who let you in?" I asked since I'm the only one home.

She just shrugged. "Ask that next time you close the door." I rolled my eyes. I guess my parents didn't lock the door.

"So back to the topic…" she started.

You see, Toby is a suitor of mine back in high school. He was sweet and all that, but my mind is set that I'd only get into a relationship after college or maybe at least after high school. So I turned him down nicely. But he was insisting and he said that he'd wait for me to be ready…and he is consistent because he never had a girlfriend, as far as I know because 'he's waiting for me'.

"Aria. I know what you're thinking but I'm not done with college yet." I reasoned. She wants to play cupid, I just know it; most probably because she's a hopeless romantic and maybe because she wants herself to get busier to forget Emily.

"Psssh." She said unconvinced. "We both know that's crap you only tell people so they won't bother you. What if he would really wait for you for how long it should take?" she asked me seriously.

"He's a nice guy and all, but really, I just want to focus on my studies first." I lied. Maybe back in high school that could be true, but now…it's the mere fact that she's not Emily.

Aria stared at me, still unconvinced. "I don't believe you." She said matter-of-factly. "Do you like someone else? Because if you do, you should totally tell him now. But you should totally tell me first." She chuckles.

I stiffened. I hate talking about this kind of topics. "No!" I might or might've not sounded a little too defensive. "I mean, have you seen those guys in our school? They got nothing on Toby."

"Then what seems to be the problem?" she asked me. I wanted to answer that the problem is that he's never going to be the person that defends me from Sam and Santana, the person who knows me so well, the person who would make me feel like everything's going to be okay with her smile, the person that walks her home every now and then, and would never leave me until she's sure that I'm okay, the person my heart has been craving for, for a long time now. "He's never going to be like Emily." Slipped in my mouth instead.

Her face was blank. I have never been so nervous in my life. I couldn't take that back. I'm trying to think of a good excuse but my mind was as blank as Aria's expression. "I mean-I-he's never going to be like Emily to my Aria."

She frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?" she mumbled, but it was loud enough for me to hear.

"You know what I mean. I know it's not a good timing for me to bring her up, but what I meant was that…the feelings you used to describe to me, the feelings you feel for, Em; it was far from what I feel for him. It's nothing like that." I answered hoping that it was convincing enough. And it's not like that was a lie either. I really don't feel enough for him, I guess.

"But isn't that the reason why people can't define love? Because each of us love differently. You can't compare my love for Emily and your love for Toby." Aria replied.

"I don't love him. Don't you get it?" I blurted out.

"Who do you love?" Aria asked and she sounded a bit annoyed.

I scrunched my eyebrows together. "Why are you so worked up?" I said incredulously.

"Because you're f…" she stopped for a second. "Because you're freaking frustrating, Spence. Just tell me who it is."

"I'm frustrating? You're the one who came here in my house to tell me about some guy that I barely care about, and annoyingly shoving him down my throat." I replied with a bit of annoyance.

"Why don't you just fucking tell me whoever it is that you like? So we could skip all this nonsense and I could walk away? Is it Emily? Just tell me." she shouted and I panicked forgetting that my family wasn't home.

"Why don't you just walk away now?!" I shouted even louder, making sure that such thing won't ever go through her mind again.

We both fell silent. But none of us walked away yet.

I couldn't look straight at her, but I saw that her eyes were closed.

"I'm sorry." She said in a low voice, and I felt guilty. I'm the one who's continuously lying to her and to myself but she's the one saying sorry. "I'm just..."

She was going to cry so I hugged her without thinking. "I shouldn't have said that. It's just that the thing you said earlier was stuck on my mind. I know you're not gay. I just…" I can feel her tears flowing. "Hanna's straight too. She didn't like Emily; I did, for a long time. I'm the one who struggled with these feelings and not her. But suddenly she decided to like her and she got the girl."

I wanted to say that she's not the only one who's struggling. "It's unfair." It was all I was able to say.

She pulled away and wiped her tears. "That escalated quickly." She tried to laugh, but it lacked sincerity. "Minutes ago we were just talking about some guy you 'barely care about'." I laughed at that.

"I'm sorry too. For mentioning her. That was insensitive of me." I apologized sincerely. I didn't know she was still in a bad condition.

"Yeah, well…I didn't know it still has the same effect on me either; her name." she answered silently.

"She might still love you, you know?" I said, not knowing if that was comforting or if it would cause more trouble.

"I know." Was all she said.

"But it shouldn't matter. What should matter is what she's doing about it. And she's doing nothing about it, Aria. You deserve someone who would turn around from whatever it is that they're doing just to see you. And to tell you that they love you, and show you just how much." I said. Everyone deserves someone like that. That's the reason I didn't deserve Emily in the first place; I wasn't willing to turn around because I'm scared, and I couldn't show her just how much I love her.

"But I don't want someone I deserve, Spence. I want her. I don't know how many times I have to say it, but I'd-" I placed my hand on her lips.

"I don't want to hear it. You sound so pathetic, Aria. I may sound harsh and I'm sorry but it's true. It's not the right thing to do to wait for someone that isn't going to come. She won't leave Hanna, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you'd be able to move on." I hate it when she talks about how she can't leave without Em. I hate it when she says she's better off alone than to be with someone who isn't Em. I hate it.

She deserves to be happy because she's a beautiful person. Her beautiful smile would be wasted if she kept on crying. I don't even know how to make her smile appear again but I miss it, and if I'm the one who needs to find a way to make her smile again then I'd do it.

Ironically, she smiled at me. But it wasn't the smile that I was looking for. "I just wanted to know where it went wrong." She said quietly. "What was I lacking? What went wrong that she love her, more than me? Why did she choose her?"

"If she'd be able to tell you, will you stop?" I asked.

"I might." She said truthfully. It wasn't a confirmation but it's better than nothing.

"Then ask her." I said casually. "I'm sure she'd make time for you." I know that Emily loves Aria. And I get jealous of Aria sometimes because of the fact that she loves her the way that she would never love me. But sometimes I get jealous of Em, because I don't know if someone would be able to love me the way that Aria loves her. I just think that Aria loves most.

"I wanted to be happy for them, Spence. And I hate myself because I can't." Aria said quietly.

"Spencer?" A familiar unfamiliar voice said, which sounded like Santana.

"Why do strangers keep on barging in on my house? I swear, you guys feel pretty at home at our house." I said to them. And it's not like it's strange because they come here often ever since my Dad cheated on my mother. But it's all in the past, I'm just glad my parents were able to fix it. They're actually on a date

"You might want to close your front door next time, then Smartass." Santana retorted. I bet they're confident to barge in because they know my parents wouldn't mind anyway. As for me, I don't think they really care about what I think.

"San, language." I said instinctively.

"Sorry, anyways, I came here because I was bored at home and…" she stopped when she noticed Aria's puffy eyes. "Who made you cry?" she said directing at Aria. I sat on my original place so Santana could sit beside Aria.

Aria just lowered her head and shook it slowly.

"Aria, you better start talking now because I swear-"

"What? What're you going to do about it?" I asked, challenging her.

"Depends, who made her cry?" she asked me.

"What if I tell you its Emily?" I questioned. We all know she's always team Emily, well, most of the time.

"What did she do? Aria, tell me." Her voice was now soft, I bet she knows what this is all about but she knows she couldn't really do much about it, and she hates that.

"She fell in love with Hanna." Aria answered. The truth in it hurt me more than it should. Because its very true, she just fell in love, with one of our friends, and we should be happy instead of hurt.

Santana could only sigh. "Our friendship is so messed up, isn't it? We keep on falling and falling in love with each other it's insane."

"But that's what best friends do right? They fall in love with each other." She smiled incredulously. And that's another truth too. We are in love with each other. We just have that one friend that we love better, or best.

"You and Em, you were really great friends…" Santana said.

"I know, and you think that's the problem, right? We were such great friends." And it's better of that way? I was just sitting there watching and listening to their conversation.

Santana just nodded. "Maybe she thinks you're better off as that."

"She loves our friendship better than the 'us'." Aria said more to herself. Tears were starting to from in her eyes again but I know that she's trying to stop it.

I can see that Santana wanted to hug Aria, but she didn't because she knew they'd both cry, if not the three of us, because I'm gonna cry soon enough.

"For once, I hate that I'm happy, that we're happy, because you're here; crying." Santana said to Aria. "Why don't you just date Sam?" Santana said trying to lighten up the mood but she herself was lacking.

"Shut up." Aria said weakly.

"Do you want to go on a date?" Santana asked Aria in a serious tone.

Aria's head shot up.

"A date, with me? To lighten you up a bit. It's really unhealthy to just sulk in here." The Latina said.

Aria looked at me, I don't know if she's waiting for my permission, but it looked like it, so I nodded.

"Do you want to come?" Santana asked me. "I don't want to make Quinn jealous because I'm having a date with a beautiful girl alone, so…" I know Santana wasn't supposed to say that. We all know she wasn't supposed to say that, but Aria and I pretended to not notice to avoid awkwardness.

I smiled. "Yeah, I better go with you since I have to protect Aria from your evil mind."

"Ooh, protective girlfriend…" she teased, ignoring my remark on her.

"Shut up." I said.

"Thanks, Spence." Aria said. I didn't exactly know what she's thanking for but I smiled.

And as if reading my mind she said, "For everything.", and my smile grew bigger.

"Wait, aren't you going to thank me too?" Santana pouted.

Aria smiled and kissed Santana's cheeks. "Thank you."

I didn't know what it was, but I felt something strange, and before I can even stop myself, "How come I didn't get a kiss?"

They both chuckled thinking I was trying to be cute. But Aria kissed me anyway, on the cheeks of course.

"You can be really cute sometimes, do you know that?" Aria said. And that was it, that was all it took for me to feel better. There was the smile that I was looking for the whole day; a sincere and genuine smile that she used to wear 24/7.

A/N:

I know I really suck at updating, and I'm really sorry! I hope you're still reading this...

Please just be patient with me because school has been a nightmare for me, to be honest.

But I'm not going to make excuse anymore, but I'm promising you that I'll finish this fic..

It might be a bum that I don't update as often as I used to but I'm really trying...

So, that's the 15th chapter, I hope you guys and girls, liked it!

Comment/Review/Follow...Love lots, thanks for reading!