CHAPTER 17

"What do you think happened?" Spencer asked Santana.

"You wouldn't need to ask me that if you didn't decide to drag me in your house." Santana frowned. She wanted to spy on Aria and Emily but Spencer insisted to give them some privacy so they went to Hasting's residence instead.

"If it was you and Quinn, you wouldn't want us to spy on you either, would you?" Spencer said with a smug smile, just because she knew she would win this argument.

"Whatever." Santana said because she didn't want to give Spencer the satisfaction, although the other girl was satisfied.

"Do you think there's a chance for the two of them?" Spencer asked after a while which earned her a curious look.

"Why'd you ask? Aren't you satisfied with Emily being with Hanna?" the Latina asked back.

"No- I mean yes- I mean-" She rambled. "I don't know." She said. "Don't get me wrong!" Spencer said immediately sounding defensive. "I know Hanna loves Em and all that, but Aria though, I feel sorry for her sometimes, and she's happiest when she's with Em." She said with sympathy, looking down.

"You are too." Santana said which made Spencer look up at her.

"What?" she looked caught red-handed that made Santana smirk.

"Nothing." The Latina said and looked like she's contemplating. She sat beside Spencer. "You know, you almost fooled me."

Spencer smiled shyly with understanding what the topic is about. "It's too complicated to add myself in the equation." She stated.

Santana gave her a sympathetic smile. "Why don't you love me instead?" the Latina joked that made Spencer slap her in the arm playfully.

"When will I ever have a decent conversation with you?" Spencer sighed.

"What? There are not enough people who love me. And it's not like Emily's hotter than I am." Santana said confidently. "No offense."

Spencer just rolled her eyes. "Yeah, tell that to your girlfriend."

"Come on, you know you want me. We'd be a cute couple." Santana pushed.

Spencer scoffed. "Please, I'm gonna barf if you don't stop."

Santana just laughed lightly.

"How are you and Quinn anyways?" Spencer asked seriously.

Santana looked at her and smiled. "We're fine. Her mom told her that she'll support us, at least she'll try, I think."

Spencer smiled. "You know, even though you can be really annoying sometimes; I always admired you for not giving up on Quinn, even though you weren't so sure if you're waiting for something in return."

"I almost did." Santana admitted. "But I couldn't exactly just push these feelings away. It doesn't work that way."

"But you got over me." Spencer said bluntly that made Santana almost jump out of her seat.

"What?!" Santana asked with a surprised expression on her face.

"Please. You had a crush on me in high school, didn't you?" Spencer stated casually.

Santana smiled in disbelief. "And you're telling me I'm full of myself." She whispered but the other girl didn't fail to hear it.

"You weren't exactly subtle back then." Spencer said.

"What made you think I have a crush on you?" the Latina asked with curiosity.

"You gave my sister Melissa a gift on her birthday." Spencer stated.

"And you didn't think I might have a crush on your sister instead?" Santana asked incredulously.

"I would've, if you two had a conversation before. Plus, you gave me a ring on my birthday, and we're not even that close too." Spencer explained.

Santana chuckled. "Okay, so maybe I did have a little crush on you back then."

Spencer smiled smugly in satisfaction.

"I got over it though!" Santana said defensively.

Spencer smiled teasingly. "I know. You didn't pursue it though, why?"

Santana smirked menacingly.

"I'm just curious." The other girl said defensively.

"Well, you didn't really make it hard for me to get the message." Santana said remembering how snobbish Spencer was and how she never wore the ring she gave her.

Spencer chuckled. "At least I didn't make you expect. Since then you made it part of your daily to-do-list to tease me and annoy me."

"It made you talk to me more, didn't it?" Santana laughed.

Spencer smirked. "Do you think I could do that with Em too?" she turned in a serious face.

"Tease her?" Santana asked feigning innocence.

Spencer could only roll her eyes. "Get over her."

"You're a strong girl." Santana simply stated.

"But so is Aria." Spencer answered back.

"Aria's strong, but she's stubborn too." Santana reasoned then paused, "But come to think of it, so are you."

"Aren't we all?" Spencer said, staring off the distance. "But I prefer the word persistent."

"Not you; you're hard-headed." Santana teased.

"Whatever." The taller brunette just rolled her eyes again.

"Why don't you give Toby a chance? It would be a nice distraction from Emily." Santana suggested seriously.

Spencer looked at her with an unreadable expression. "He's not a thing for me to use. We're talking about feelings here."

Santana understood where Spencer was coming from. Spencer was never the kind to use someone to gain something; that's one of the things that the Latina likes about the girl. "Sorry. I was just giving a suggestion..."

"Why is it that I'm always linked to Toby anyways? He isn't even my boyfriend." Spencer complained.

"But he is your suitor. Just like Hanna was always linked to Caleb before." Santana reasoned.

"In contrary; Hanna actually liked Caleb." Spencer emphasized.

Santana just shrugged; not knowing what to say.

"Toby's really nice. If I could choose what my heart loves, it would be him." Spencer stated.

"He's pretty charming then; to make the meticulous Spencer Hastings want to fall in love with him." Santana said half joking.

"He is but I want him only because it's easier." Spencer corrected.

Santana only shook her head. "It wouldn't be real love if it's easy."

"No, but rather; you wouldn't appreciate love if it's easy." Spencer corrected.

"No." Santana insisted. "Easy is boring. Loving should never be boring."

"That's not even the point." Spencer pointed out.

"You're boring. That's the point." Santana said nonchalantly.

"I am so not. How could you say that?" Spencer asked, offended; playfully slapping Santana's arm.

"You two should really stop your banter." Said a voice from behind.

"Is this really a thing now?" Spencer asked the source of the voice that she identified as Aria. "You guys coming here unannounced?"

Aria only grinned.

"Someone looks happy." Santana commented.

"Just in a good mood." Aria corrected. Both girls looked at her with interest.

"Am I boring?" Spencer asked the petite girl that just arrived.

"Don't listen to Santana, Spence." Aria simply answered, not wanting to really answer the question because they all knew Spencer wouldn't like the answer.

"Are you here to thank us for being matchmakers?" Santana asked with a teasing smile, taking more interest on Aria's positive aura.

"Kind of?" Aria said. "Thank you for making me talk to her. But mostly, for trying to make me feel better." She thanked them sincerely.

Spencer went in for a hug, overwhelmed by the genuine smile that's plastered on her friend's face. Santana followed and completed the group hug.

"Thank you for being happy." Santana whispered, referring to Aria of course.

"Good mood." Spencer corrected playfully.

And the three of them chuckled.

"Thank you for being in a good mood." Santana stated.

Aria only tightened the hug while they laughed.

"My love…" Emily whispered to the sleeping figure on her couch. When Hanna didn't answer she turned off the television went to her room to get a blanket.

When she returned, the blonde was already sitting up.

"I thought you were asleep." Emily stated, still handing the blanket to Hanna.

"I was." The blonde said sleepily. "But I couldn't sleep because of the noise that your presence causes."

Emily quirked an eyebrow as she sat beside the blonde.

The blonde rested her hand on her chest. "My heart beats louder whenever you're around."

Emily chuckled at her girlfriend's pick-up line.

"You're such a dork." The brunette commented before she kissed the blonde's forehead.

"Guess we're a couple of dorks then." Hanna smiled that earned another chuckle from Emily.

"Do you want to eat somewhere?" Emily said, remembering that dinner's part of a normal person's life.

"How 'bout the food court?" Hanna suggested.

Emily blinked. "The…mall's food court?"

"Yeah. Is that such a surprising choice?" Hanna asked with her eyebrows meeting.

"No. But how about a restaurant though?" Emily suggested, she couldn't go to the mall with her girlfriend, the same time she almost kissed another girl in the said place.

Hanna pouted. "You shouldn't have asked me then in the first place…"

Emily only smiled at her girlfriend. "You're trying to act cute."

"Is it working?" Hanna asked, grinning.

"You're always cute to me." Emily replied nonchalantly.

"Cute as in like a puppy? Or cute as in you wanna do me?" Hanna teased; she knows Emily can be a prude at times.

As expected, the brunette had a shocked expression on her face. "You…"

"I'm just kidding." Hanna laughed. "You should've seen your face. Stop being such a grandma. It was just a question…"

"A grandma?" Emily asked quirking her eyebrow.

"Yeah. Grandma." Hanna confirmed with a challenging tone.

"Yeah?" Emily leaned in so that their faces were only inches apart. Hanna gulped. "I bet grandmas don't do this." Hanna closed her eyes as Emily' face comes closer.

The blonde anticipated the kiss; but nothing. The blonde opened her eyes after she heard the other girl's laugh.

"You should've seen your face." Emily teased.

"I hate you." Hanna mumbled as she got off the couch.

Emily continued laughing.

"I'm going to get ready." Hanna said.

"Where are we going?" Emily asked.

"To the mall." Hanna said casually.

"Babe…" the brunette whined. Just the reaction Hanna wanted from her.

"I'm in the mood where I want to eat variety of foods. So a restaurant wouldn't do." Hanna stated with finality before going to the bathroom.

There was no changing Hanna's mind and Emily knew it.

Quinn's POV:

"Sam! You got to help me." I said when Sam entered the door.

"Quinn?" he asked, surprised that I was at his house. "What are you doing here?"

"I need your help." I said.

"About what?" he asked.

"Santana." I said guiltily.

"Did you guys fight again?" he asked with worried eyes.

"No. No." I shook my head. "Remember when I told San that my Mom's going to support our relationship because she realized how miserable I am without Santana?" I asked, and he nodded his head. "Well…I might kind of…lied." I said, fidgeting my fingers uncomfortably.

I don't exactly have much choice to get help from. Rachel and Sam are the only ones who knew about the incident at Santana's house. I wanted to tell Emily but I know her situation's too complicated for me to add another problem.

Rachel's not on her house so I ended up at the Evan's doorstep where Sam's mom let me in.

He frowned. He looked disappointed in me; which I couldn't blame him because I'm disappointed at myself too. "You shouldn't have done that."

"I know." I sighed. "You don't have to remind me that. That's why I'm here. Because surely Santana will want to come to our house this weekend and she'll surely find out that I lied to her; one way or another."

"Hey." He said softly before holding my hand to comfort me. "You're panicking. Breathe."

And so I did. I took a deep breath. "What should I do?"

"You should tell Santana. The last time she walked out on you; she was overwhelmed. But she'll take it better now." He tried to reason.

I shook my head. "She respects my mother's decision. I don't know why. But she does. And I think it has something to do with what happened with her and Brittany; she thinks my mother was right. We're just two teenagers; too small to fight against the world."

"And you believe it too?" Sam asked but he, more likely stated it.

I nodded hesitantly. "But only because Santana believes it…" I reasoned. "She's…She's the source of my strength. How can I fight against the world if she doesn't have faith in our love?"

"Then make her believe in it. Besides, you don't really have to fight the world. All you have to do is win the battle against yourselves, and somehow you can create your own world instead." He said fruitfully.

"Wow." I said in awe. "Where did you get that?"

He just smirked. "Shut up." He said playfully.

I hugged him as a sign of gratitude. I really appreciate the words of wisdom that he gave me.

Santana's POV:

It was a beautiful day so far. Aria's smiling again; and by that I meant a genuine smile. We left Spencer's house, because it was getting late. Besides, we had enough banter for a day.

I decided to ask Aria if she wanted to stick around and she agreed immediately. We went to a café for a change. And in my luck, just as we sat on our respective seats and ordered our preferred drinks and food, Aunt Judy came in with some of her friends.

It's not that I don't want to see her. It's just that I'm not ready to talk to her because of our previous conversation. But at the same time I want to thank her for deciding to support our relationship.

"Would you look at that." She commented, walking towards us.

"Hi, Aunt Judy." Aria greeted politely and I smiled with her.

"Hi, Mrs. Fabray." I didn't know if we were back on first name basis so I settled for a formal greeting. Either way, she seemed surprised at the gesture.

"Santana has a new girl, I see." She commented that made me furrow my eyebrows in confusion but a smile was still plastered on my face.

Aria almost choked, but as the adorable girl that she is; she laughed lightly thinking that Quinn's mother was joking. I actually laughed too, taking it as a form of joke.

Unfortunately, it was supposed to be a menacing remark.

"So it's true? You have a thing for your friends." She stated looking straight at me. The way she looks at me makes me feel small.

"Are you being serious, Mrs. Fabray?" Aria questioned, getting the vibe that the older girl was trying to be mean.

She didn't even waste time to make me feel down; to even think that I was planning to thank her.

She probably told Quinn that she approves us so my girlfriend wouldn't hate her. She's probably playing nice to her daughter, and of course she expects me to act okay in front of Quinn. I didn't realize how much Mrs. Fabray was capable of doing just to get what she wants until now.

I feel embarrassed in front of Aria. She isn't supposed to see this side of me; the part of me that's scared and helpless.

Quinn's mother laughed humorlessly. "I'm surprised, you didn't go for the blonde one; Hanna." She smirked at me then turned her head to Aria. "Piece of advice: Don't expect her to fight for you when things get rough, she can't and she won't."

I was speechless. She's obviously referring to that time I walked out.

"Mrs. Fabray. Don't you think this is a little bit too much?" Aria asked, trying to maintain her cool. Aunt Judy is still Quinn's mother after all.

"Too much?" she questioned. "Too much is welcoming a girl to your home, and later on finding out that she's trying to get on your daughter's-" her tone was harsh but it was almost a whisper; she obviously didn't want her friends to hear it, or anyone else for that matter.

"I think that's enough." Aria said harshly; standing up. She spoke more softly, "I know that this…situation that you're in is also hard. But it's not enough reason to degrade my friend. She loves your daughter, Aunt Judy; it's not her fault that she can't control her feelings." Gladly she sat back down when I motioned to her to sit.

"It's clearly her fault that she acted on it." Mrs. Fabray replied quickly. Not even letting Aria's words sink in.

"I'm pretty sure Quinn did act on it too." Aria answered as quickly. "But you don't hear Mrs. Lopez humiliating your daughter in a public place, let alone in front of her friends."

I wasn't prepared for this; all I could do is watch them exchange words. I expected it to be a bit awkward but I didn't know our meeting would turn out to be like this.

If I say something bad to Quinn's mother, she would hate me more. I can't let my pride get the better of me. I'm supposed to look at the bigger picture; fighting her would just ruin the chances that she would accept our relationship. Maybe if I didn't fight back she would stop?

"Santana!" Aria looked at me expectantly. "Say something."

"Aria. You're making a scene. Please." I told her, motioning her to stop.

Mrs. Fabray smirked, looking at me. "What happened? Cat got your tongue?"

"If you want to talk, you know my number, just text me or call me where and when; just not here and not now. It's not suited for this kind of conversation." I tried to sound respectful and calm the best that I can.

"What for? You already walked out on my daughter, didn't you?" of course she's going to use it against me over and over. She shook her head. "I don't even know what has gotten into that girl." She was obviously referring to her daughter. "She chose you over me." She said with disdain.

"What?" I asked automatically. So that's the reason she pretended that she's going to support us; I figured.

"Oh please, don't play dumb, Santana. I'm sure she went straight to your house after I sent her out of our house." She said not batting an eye.

"You what?" I asked with a surprise expression. "I thought…" she immediately caught on with my expression because she smiled menacingly.

"I get it." She said confidently. "This explains why you had the guts to smile at me and greet me." She stated. "I see someone has been a pretty little liar."

I didn't know what to feel. Anger? Shame? Disappointment?

Quinn lied to me. I felt stupid smiling at her mother like that; thinking that everything's fine, when in fact everything's but fine.

"Oh well." Mrs. Fabray smiled in satisfaction, clasping her hands together. "I better leave you two alone. My friends are waiting for me." She said before she walked away from us and probably told her friends to find another café because they left the area.

"You've been awfully quiet; it's deafening." Aria commented while we were walking home.

What was I supposed to say? I was supposed to make Aria feel better and not the other way around. How can such a beautiful day turn into such mess?

"I admire you for what you did back there." She said that made me stop my tracks.

I quirked an eyebrow as I look at her questioningly. "I didn't even do anything."

"You did." She said confidently. "You showed Quinn's mother that you still respect her, even after everything. That she's important to you because she's important to Quinn; I admired your self-control." She laughed humorlessly, "She wasn't even attacking me but have you seen the way I acted? I totally lost my patience."

That made me smile as I looked down. "You were really fierce back there." I commented. "I didn't know it fits you well."

She looped her arm in mine, and then we continued walking. "I couldn't exactly just sit there and listen to her making snarky remarks about my friend."

"I love you." I whispered. I'm really grateful that she was with me, especially back at the café.

"I love you too." She said with a grin. Now that I think about it; it was the first time that I told her I love her, and actually sound sincere.

I'm not really the type of friend who expresses how much I appreciate my friends.

"I think you've gotten soft…" she pointed out. "I didn't know it would fit you well." She said mimicking my statement earlier.

At least, even for a moment I wasn't thinking about why my girlfriend needed to lie to me. She could've just let me sulk at my house and let me accept the fact that I just have to be stronger, because not everybody is as understanding as my parents. It would've been easier.

Quinn's POV:

I didn't waste any time and went to Santana's house after I talked to Sam for some advice. I just hope Santana wouldn't hate me for lying to her; I just panicked, and I know that she would push me back to my parents if she knew that they strongly disagree with us.

She just looked so utterly defeated. I've never actually seen her like the day we came out to my mother. She never let me see that side of her anyways. I know that she cries a lot too, but she doesn't let me see that. She wanted to be strong for me and I appreciate that.

But at that moment, seeing her cry; I wasn't able to think of anything to say to make her feel at ease; so I lied. I haven't thought it true; it was more like a slip of the tongue. But I know that didn't make it any less of a lie.

I wish I could tell myself that this wasn't a big deal, but it is. It's about my parents and our relationship and it couldn't be not a big deal.

I see a familiar figure approaching just when I was about to push the doorbell of Santana's house.

I knew it was Santana. She stopped her tracks for a second noticing me, then continued walking towards me just a bit faster.

"What are you doing here?" It's different from Sam's tone, hers was…harsher.

I'm not a detective but something tells me that tone wasn't a good thing.

"I have something to tell you." I said, quite startled with the features of her face.

She didn't hug me not kissed my cheek. It was strange and so unlike her.

"Is something wrong? What's wrong?" I asked with concern.

"What's wrong." She repeated as she laughed humorlessly. I'm really confused. I haven't even told her yet but she's already in a bad mood. "I ran into your mother earlier." That set my heart into panic mode.

"What…" I gritted my teeth. "What did she tell you?" I asked nervously. This isn't supposed to happen. Of course Santana would be offended even more if she knew through other people instead of me.

"What was I supposed to know?" she questioned, but she obviously knew.

"I'm here to tell you…" I started but she asked again before I even finished my sentence.

"What is it that I'm supposed to know?" she said trying to control her anger. Anger. I know my girlfriend and I know that's what it was, and maybe a hint of disappointment.

"I'm sorry." I said apologetically. I tried to hold her hand but she flinched.

"Do you want to know what happened?" she asked, her tone was so cold that even Hitler might be scared too.

I just nodded in response.

"I saw your mother entering the café, and she went straight to our table. And you know what's funny? I actually planned on thanking her for trying to understand us." She looked at me with a blank expression. "I smiled at her, Quinn." She said emotionally in contrary with her expression. "Like everything was okay, and I felt stupid. And if I was her I would even find that insulting."

I could only listen and look down.

"I ruined your relationship with your mother." She pointed out, and if I looked at her I knew that her face would be pained. "And I smiled at her like nothing happened." She said in disbelief, clearly embarrassed with what she did.

"Let me stop you right there, San." I said, finally having the courage to speak up. "Firstly, you didn't ruin my relationship with my mom. It's the way it is because she couldn't understand us. Second of all, it's my fault, and I'll explain to her if I needed to, just so you wouldn't be bothered if she's offended."

She just shook her head.

"I'm sorry, San. I'm sorry if I lied to you. I'm sorry if I haven't told you sooner." I apologized with all sincerity. "Sam was right; I should've told you right away." That was an example of a bad move.

"You told Sam." She stated like she was trying to let it sink in. "You told him before you told me."

"San…"

"No." she sounded so…I don't even know, her expression was hard to read but she's definitely not impressed. "Do you even know why I'm mad?"

"I lied to you, and I shouldn't have and I'm sorry." I said the bit my lip hoping that I said the right things.

She shook her head. "I'm mad because I thought you could trust me, even when I walked out on you, I thought our love should be enough for you to trust me and be honest with me. I thought we were a team."

"We are." I said a bit louder than I should. "We are a team; I just…I panicked. You walked out on me and I felt so unsecured. I couldn't afford it if you try to push me away, because I knew that was exactly what you were planning to do. I wanted to say the right words, but I knew I couldn't say anything to make you feel better."

"You shouldn't have said anything at all then." She commented.

"I realized that now…I'm sorry." I said in frustration because I don't like fighting with Santana. I feel so weak when she's not on my side, let alone on the other side.

"Maybe it would've been better if you went straight to me. But you chose to talk to someone else first."

"I was scared and I didn't know what to tell you." I explained.

"You were supposed to tell me the truth. You were scared because you thought I wouldn't understand you, and I couldn't help but get hurt by that; knowing that you trust someone else to understand you over me." She's trying not to cry.

Just as I was trying not to cry but I failed because I could feel her pain and I couldn't help but regret my decisions.

"I'm angry because I try so hard to be a better person for you, every single day; I try to be a better person to deserve someone as perfect as you but it seems like you're the one who doesn't deserve me."

I could feel my world fall apart after that. I tried to stop her from walking away from me. I tried to grab her wrist but she easily freed herself from my grasp. I wanted to follow her but I was so struck by her words that I froze. It would've been a lot easier if I didn't chose to lie to her; it was a problem so simple but I made it complicated; and now it's not just about being honest anymore and I knew it.

I knew I've triggered her insecurities. Maybe she's right too; I don't deserve her.

'Our love has to be enough'

'I'm pretty sure I was born to share forever with you.'

The day that we said those words to each other was still fresh in my mind, like it was just yesterday. I just wish she still believe in those words just as much as I do. After all, my love for her made me cross the line between love and friendship, a line that I'm not supposed to cross.

A/N:

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