I'm having Emison feels lately...and some Spemily from the last episode.

Who's with me? Haha.

Anyway, here's another chapter for you guys!

CHAPTER 18

Emily's POV:

I'm here at the mall with my girlfriend but all I'm having flashbacks of some other girl and it's not okay. But she's not just another girl; she's Aria, my first love. I couldn't get her out of my head. It happened all so fast but at the same time, it was felt like it was in a slow motion.

"Em, what's wrong?" Hanna asked. She didn't even ask if something is wrong, she just assumed that there's not something right; that's how obviously distracted I've been.

"Just Santana." I lied.

"Oh yeah, what did you two talked about earlier?" she asked curiously.

I shook my head in lack of words.

She brought her fork down to give me her full attention. "Is it about Quinn?"

I want to tell her what really happened but I don't know if she'd understand. Heck, I don't even know what just happened. All I know was that Aria and I needed a closure, but after the conversation we had, it left me with a lot of questions instead of answers. Aria on the other hand seemed to find a lot of answers.

I'm conflicted as to what to tell Hanna that I didn't notice that I was holding my fork too tight until I saw Hanna staring at it.

"If she doesn't want me to know then it's okay." She assured. But it's not okay.

"I didn't find Santana here earlier…" I confessed.

Maybe it was just me but she didn't seem too surprised. "Who did you find then?" She knows.

"Aria." Her face didn't fell, it became softer instead.

"What did she…what did you too talked about? If I may ask." There wasn't any trace of accusation in her voice, and I should be happy about it but she's being too perfect and I'm being guiltier for just even thinking of kissing another girl that isn't her.

"Can I kiss you first?" I blurted out. I couldn't resist asking her that because of a lot of reasons.

"What?" she seemed to be taken aback but she beamed a smile that showed her dimples and I just… "Here? Now?"

"Yes." I simply said, standing from my seat to stand beside her sit. "Can I?" I said as I offered my hand for her to stand up as well.

Her eyebrows met in confusion but she gave her hand and stand up anyways. "Of all the time in the world you're trying to be cute now?" She commented before she said, "Yes. You may."

That's all I needed to hear to lean in and kiss my girl. I could feel her smiling, and for the first time today I felt sure about something; I'm in love with this girl and I want to make her happy. In that moment nothing else in the world seemed to matter.

Hanna was the one to pull back. She looked flushed, "People are staring at us." She whispered.

"That's just because we look good together." I said before leaning in for another kiss.

Hanna's POV:

The good thing about food courts is that you're not limited to have just one type of food; like if I want to eat an Italian food and Chinese food at the same time I can have it. So even though I know Em is a little disappointed about my choice of place on where we'd have our dinner, I still insisted going to the mall.

I don't know why she's suddenly against the idea, but something tells me her frown isn't about the place anymore.

She's been …off. I'm not a detective but something tells me it has something to do with her meeting with Santana. Unless she's been elsewhere before she went home.

"Em, what's wrong?"

"Just Santana." I knew it.

"Oh yeah, what did you two talked about earlier?" I asked casually.

She shook her head, which made me even more curious because it's obviously a big deal.

"Is it about Quinn?" I asked, assuming that Santana and Quinn had a fight or something.

Emily seemed to be having a war inside her head, well, based on how tight she's been holding her fork. If I didn't know better, I think she'd break it any time soon.

"If she doesn't want me to know then it's okay." I assured her; trying not to push the topic too far, if she wanted to tell me she would've.

"I didn't find Santana here earlier…" she confessed. And that explains a lot, well, kind of, that is; if my hunch is right.

"Who did you find then?" Although I'm pretty sure my guess is right, I asked her nonetheless for confirmation.

"Aria." She answered carefully.

If I'm being honest, hearing Aria's name from Emily threatens me sometimes, I mean, she's my girlfriend's first love and our friend, and if you know your girlfriend was once in love with one of your best friends, and you don't find that terrifying, then you're lying.

"What did she -what did you two talked about? If I may ask." Maybe it's about closure? I do hope so, I mean, I miss my friend too, and I can't really act normal with Aria when I know that what makes me happy hurts her.

I wish she can just move on, but I know it's not as easy as it sounds. I just hope it turned out well… not too well though.

"Can I kiss you first?" Emily said out of nowhere which took me by surprise.

"What?" I blinked a few times trying to process what she just asked. "Here? Now?" It's a silly request but the idea just makes me smile uncontrollably.

She said 'yes' like it was the most sensible thing to answer. She stood up and went beside me, offering her hand. "Can I?" she asked.

She's trying to be cute. I didn't know if she's trying to distract me from the topic but its working. "Of all the time in the world, you're trying to be cute now?" I asked, she just smiled back and said, "Yes. You may."

And so she leaned in, and I felt her lips on mine, and everything around us slowly vanished, everything else was a blur besides the fact that I'm enjoying this kiss and I couldn't help but smile.

For the first time today I felt like she's really with me, like she was just mine. I felt like there was nothing running in her mind but me; us.

I pulled back for air, and that's when I noticed the people around us; staring. I could already feel my cheeks burning but I think I blushed even more. I felt silly being shy for kissing my girlfriend in front of a lot of people; but at the same time, I'm proud that she's my girlfriend and finally, everyone knows that too. "People are staring at us." I whispered to let her know in case she isn't aware, but she just shrugged.

"That's just because we look good together." she said before leaning in for another kiss. Now all I could think of is that I'm kissing the girl I'm in love with and it's magical, and I didn't want it to end.

I didn't bother asking Emily to continue our conversation after that. The night has been so great and I didn't want any possibility of ruining it. I'm not sure if I'd like to hear what really happened, Emily didn't act the way she did if it turned out great.

Santana's POV:

Last night was everything I didn't thought it would turn out to be. There was Quinn's mom and then there was Quinn. Maybe it would've turned out differently if I had handled it better but I guess it was too much for me to take in, in one night, and …I know I kind of threw my frustration at Quinn and it was not a good move at all, but I was hurt. For what particular reason, I didn't really know. It was one thing after another.

Anyways, I went outside for a walk, to clear my mind if it was possible. After half an hour I decided to go back home, and there she was, standing at the sidewalk in front of our house, which she could've waited for me inside the house, it's not like she had a fight with my mom or something.

"Hey." She said carefully.

I just nod to acknowledge her presence. I honestly didn't expect her to be here this early.

She bit her lip. "I bought pizza." She said flaunting the box of pizza in front of me. She was trying to be cute and she is, but I was trying to act indifferent because I haven't forgiven her yet.

"I figured you couldn't eat flowers so I bought you this instead." She said smugly.

I smiled incredulously before I walked past her. She's acting like we weren't just in a big fight last night.

But then I saw a vase of flowers on our porch and I suddenly turned soft again. I hate her for knowing exactly what to do to make me happy.

"Just in case you don't like pizza anymore." She said, and I didn't even have to look back to know that she was grinning, but I did look back anyways. "Look, I'm not good with these kinds of stuff, San. And I've just realized how much effort I'm not putting in this relationship because you basically did a lot of special things for me, and all I could give you for an apology is flowers and pizza which is quite, I mean, really lame." Then she sighed because she probably realized that she's rambling. "That's beside the point though."

And I just stood there trying hard not smile, but how could I not? So I turned my back on her instead.

"Are you still mad?" She asked nervously.

"I'm not mad, I'm hurt." I corrected her. Maybe my initial reaction was to be angry but that was immediately replaced with hurt.

"I'm sorry." She said sincerely, and I saw her looking down guiltily when I turned around to face her.

I was about to say something but she continued talking.

"And maybe…you're right." About what? "Maybe I don't deserve you." Her face at that moment was pained, like it's hurting her that she knows it's true. But it isn't.

"I didn't mean that." I said taking a step closer at her.

"No." she said shaking her head. "You didn't mean to say it. But you meant it."

I sighed. "Quinn…"

"It's okay.' She smiled at me, she slit her hands on her back pockets. "I came here to apologize, really, but aside from that; I want to tell you something."

"Do you want to go inside?" I asked her but she declined.

"Last night, you caught me off guard. I kept on thinking about what you said: that you keep trying to be a better person for me, but, Santana you're already the best person for me, you are. And I'm trying to be a better person for you, trust me, but I don't know if I can keep up with you on that because from the start, you were the better person; and everytime I think that I was catching up on how great of a girlfriend you are, you take a step ahead and I'm behind again." She sighed, "I'm rambling again…but you do get my point right?"

I nodded with a smile that caused her to sigh in relief. How could she say that? I know she have her flaws, but her good traits makes up for it. How can someone so perfect say those things to me, saying that I'm better than her? She's better than I am. But yeah, I was hoping that she's perfect for me too.

I didn't hold back anymore and hugged her. Her words were overwhelming. I don't think my words would compare to what she just said.

She buried her head on my neck.

"Thank you for being here and making me feel better." I said against her ear.

I could feel her smile, "I belong here, where else would I be?" she answered like it was the most logical thing to say, and I literally could feel butterflies going wild on my stomach. I could only tighten our hug. Once again, I was speechless.

Aria's POV:

"Caleb?" he's looking for me? That's a first.

"Yeah, he said he has something to talk to you about." Spencer said, that made me even more curious as to what we might need to discuss.

"Aria." I heard Caleb call me as he approached us.

"Caleb." I said acknowledging his presence. "What's up?"

"Can we talk?" he asked, and he looked too serious.

"Of course." I answered.

He looked at Spencer before saying, "Alone." he said more of a statement rather than a request.

Spencer looked skeptical, but excused herself anyway.

"What is it?" I said as I crossed my arms.

"I saw you and Emily at the mall." He stated without beating around the bush.

"So?" I asked casually, like it wasn't a big deal.

"You two were about to kiss, Aria. You're best friend's girlfriend almost kissed you." He said, emphasizing every word.

"Almost." I repeated.

"What's going on between you two?" he asked.

"It's none of your business." I said as I tried to walk away but he grabbed my arm.

"It is when Hanna's feelings are involved. I won't let anyone hurt her." He said with conviction.

Hanna's really blessed to have people love her this much. I bit my lip. "Caleb…"

"What's going on between the two of you?" he repeated his previous question.

"Nothing! Okay!" I said a little bit louder than I intended to. Some people stared at us. "Emily would never hurt Hanna, okay? That's all you need to know." I said being more calm. I know there's no point in denying my feelings for Emily because I was so obvious, but saying it is still different.

And he seemed to believe me, he let go of my arm. "I'm sorry for prying." He said afterwards. "What I saw isn't exactly-"

"It's okay. Just, forget about it." I said trying to drop the subject. I'm not really that comfortable talking about this with other people.

He sighed. "I can pretend, but I can't forget."

"Works fine with me." I settled.

"I wish you did kiss." He said rather sadly.

But she didn't. It was hard to admit but it was the truth. Maybe Emily wanted to kiss me, but what mattered is that she stopped before she completely does. She didn't kiss me; it doesn't matter for whatever reason it was. No matter how willing I am to kiss back. She didn't.

I stayed silent.

Caleb won't get Hanna back because Emily kissed another girl; he must be underestimating the power of love if he thinks so. It doesn't work that way. Cause if it did, I would've just grabbed someone who likes me enough to be my boyfriend and I would've moved on. Hanna would just feel this aching pain that I have. But she would never settle for anything less than Emily.

I'm not saying he's less than Emily, but when you found someone that makes you feel whatever Emily makes me feel, you couldn't be happy settling for less.

No matter how much you love a person, if she doesn't love you back, then, nothing you do is enough to make her feel better, at least not from the pain the her love had caused.

"I'm a bad person, right?" he asked, looking at me, expecting me to answer.

"You're in love. You can be selfish and selfless at the same time." I don't know if it made sense but that's the way I could justify it.

I couldn't read his expression after that. "I wish everything would be the way it was before they got together. Back when Hanna was spending her Fridays with me instead of hers."

I just smiled sadly. I was wishing for that for as long as I could remember. "But it won't."

"I know." He answered with the same amount of sadness in my tone.

"Just don't tell Hanna anything about what you saw." I wanted to make sure. I don't want to be the reason for Hanna's heartbreak. Sure, I was still holding on the fact that Emily might still love me the way she did before, and I don't think I'm giving up on her anytime soon…but that doesn't mean I'll stop being Hanna's friend either.

Even though it was just an 'almost kiss', it meant something, not just to me but to Emily, and it would mean something to Hanna too, and to our best friends as well, if they ever find out about this. I'm just not ready for their reaction yet.

"Don't worry. I won't." he promised.

Spencer's POV:

So, Rachel and Sam finally caught up with whatever it is that is happening between everyone. I feel sorry for them when they weren't included with the secrets and all that stuff, but if I come and think of it, I was them before Aria came to me about her and Em.

I was the last one to know whatever news it is about my best friends. But I guess what's important is that they tell me. Although; it didn't make me feel any less left behind.

So I understand why Rachel was upset with Aria when Aria revealed that she likes Em—scratch that; she's in love with Emily.

I wonder what they're reaction would be if I told them that I love Emily too; like I'd ever tell them though.

"Hey, Spence." I heard a voice, which my mind instantly registered as Emily.

"Em." I wasn't able to hide my surprise. I wasn't exactly aware that I exist in her world again. And it's not like she always go the "The Brew" alone.

"Didn't expect to see me here?" she asked, sitting across the table.

"No, I just, didn't thought I'd see you here alone." Sometimes, I really have no filter in my mouth.

She had a grin in her face that I wanted to wipe. "Is that so?" she asked, insinuating that I continue.

Chances are: I'd probably say something stupid so I pretended to read the book beside me.

But Emily just has to hold the book and point out that I was reading it upside down. Real genius, Spencer. "Is this how Spencer Hastings, read a book now?"

I bit my lip in embarrassment.

"Don't be shy." She seemed to be enjoying it, and the smile on her face supports that theory. Sometimes, Santana and Emily are just, alike. They like enjoy it when they make people blush, whether it's from embarrassment or from the butterflies from your stomach. They both enjoy teasing people.

I looked down, fidgeting my fingers. Her face then slowly turned serious. "Listen," and of course, like a puppy I looked at her attentively. "…if you think that I can't see that you're not yourself lately, obviously, you're wrong."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, looking anywhere but her piercing eyes.

"So you're not avoiding me?" she probed.

"No." I said with conviction. Why would she think that? It's not like I fly out every time we're in the same room. I just don't speak as often as I used to.

"Come on, you know you can tell me anything." She said, reaching for my hand that settled on the table.

I almost flinch but I was able to control it. "I can't." Oops. And just like that, she caught me.

She smiled at me smugly. "What is it?" she inquired.

"Don't you have your own problems to deal with?" I countered.

"That doesn't mean I should stop being your friend." She stated. No wonder Hanna and Aria is fighting for this girl.

"I'm okay. If I do have a problem, there are so many people in our circle I could talk to instead." I reasoned.

"I'm already here, why can't you tell me?" She said leering at me. How could she know? How could she notice? There's so much in her plate right now, how could she notice that there's something bothering me?

"You don't understand." I stated.

She sighed. "Then let me."

"I can't." I simply said.

"Why not?" She looked clueless. It was probably one of the few times that one of us doesn't let her know what's going on inside our head.

"I'll talk to Santana about it." I said, because I know she might convince me to tell her otherwise.

"Is there a reason why you can't tell me?" she asked, looking at me straight in the eyes, I know she's getting suspicious.

"Aren't you going to order?" I attempted changing the topic.

But she pushed the idea aside. "Hmmm." She tapped the table as she contemplates. "Do you like Santana?"

Thankfully, I wasn't drinking my coffee, or I would've choked myself to death. "No!" I said, maybe a bit too defensively. "Emily. Why would you-"

I was interrupted by her laugh. People say that to make someone fall in love with you, you should be able to make them laugh. But why is it that, whenever Emily laughs, I'm the one who falls fall her harder instead? Before I knew it I was smiling at her.

"I was just kidding." She said, followed by a chuckle. "You should've seen your face."

I feigned annoyance. "That wasn't nice." I mumbled.

"What can I say? I'm a bad girl." She said playfully.

"Yeah." Yes you are; breaking every girl's heart for not loving them back.

She opened her mouth, feigning offense. "How dare you, to not disagree?"

I chuckled while shaking my head. "Just order a coffee. Bystanders aren't allowed inside, you know?"

"I'm not a bystander. I'm here on a date with a beautiful girl who wouldn't tell me her secret." She said playfully. I think I felt my heart stop for a minute. She's not helping. Why are my friends such flirts? What were we thinking, thinking that it's okay to flirt with each other playfully? Look at where it had gotten us; we're falling in love with each other and it's not as good as it sounds.

"Well, if you're not going to order foods for your date, she might bail on you." I answered playfully.

"But if I did buy her food, would she tell me what's bothering her?" she asked lightheartedly while looking at the menu.

"You can't bribe me with food." I replied.

"Who said you're my date? I'm just here asking for advice." She should be an actress, because of how casual and indifferent she looked when she said that. Her whole facial expression changed so fast.

"I hate you." I said while giggling. I hate how funny and clever she is sometimes.

"I'm just kidding." She smiled. "Don't look so heartbroken. Of course, you're my date. You're the most beautiful person at this coffee shop." She seriously has to stop this, or else, I'd have a heart attack. "I'm not saying you're not the most beautiful person even outside the coffee shop, but you know who's the most beautiful girl for me." Of course. How could I not know the luckiest person in this world?

That's all it took to pop the bubble that I was previously in. "I'll just order us something." She said before standing up.

"I was just kidding. I'm not hungry." I lost my appetite.

"Come on, it's just me. I'll buy you food, and eat it. Or else I'd get upset." She said stubbornly and walked to the counters instead of just calling a waiter instead.

I'll definitely not tell her now. Not when she just unintentionally flaunted that she loves her girlfriend so much. She just couldn't not mention Hanna in a conversation.

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