Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

"A-Ah. I'm sorry! Wrong room," Hinata stuttered, waving her hands in front of her face as she backed out of the hideout.

Had he not wasted so much time waiting for someone to arrive, Sasori would have let her leave after giving such a moronic excuse.

"Wrong room?" Sasori swore he had had it up to here with Konoha's nin. "Is Konoha just filled with imbeciles? I've waited here for hours, and you Konoha nin have most likely traveled for a dozen times as long, but you try to leave the second you see one missing-nin? I haven't even attacked you yet!"

Hinata's eyes flicked back and forth between the main entrance of the cave and the one she had forcefully made just moments before. Naruto had advised her to always make a flashy entrance, but she was seriously starting to doubt his logic. It seemed like her abrupt arrival had only served to irritate the red-haired man further—which it definitely had—and she had no plans on making him even more exasperated than he already appeared to be.

From what she could see, though, he didn't seem all that threatening. In fact, if the idea weren't so preposterous, she'd say he almost seemed talkative. If keeping him company was all it took for her to survive the encounter, then she could do it.

Probably.

"S-Sorry, I was just startled when I didn't see N-Naruto-kun," she mumbled an excuse for her short lived attempt at escaping, refusing to look him in the eye.

Sasori sighed, giving himself a moment to regain his composure. This girl wasn't Deidara; he couldn't just go off on her for not meeting his high expectations as he usually would. After all, he was trying to be the good guy this time around, and scaring the wits out of the Hyuuga heiress didn't seem like the best place to start. "Just don't be late next time."

Hinata furrowed her eyebrows, so confused that her stutter momentarily disappears. "Be late? But we… didn't have a meeting time."

Sasori refused to accept that the world didn't revolve around his tight schedule. "I understand that you're rightfully ashamed for being so tardy, but there's no need to lie. I've forgiven you."

"B-But—" Hinata was at a loss for words.

"Zip it, Hyuuga."

"O-Okay," she conceded, almost certain that she was in some sort of alternate universe.

He nodded, satisfied with Hinata's lack of a protest. No longer peeved, he figured he'd give the girl what he had stolen from Deidara's pouch as a peace offering for Sakura. His fingers wrapped around an object under his cloak that Hinata couldn't quite discern—a rather sketchy thing to do considering they were technically mortal enemies. Without warning, an unidentified cylindrical thing was tossed her way, inducing a shriek from the jumpy kunoichi.

Sasori winced as her scream echoed in the hideout; he was a bit rusty to shinobi etiquette after nearly a decade in wherever the hell he had been and didn't quite catch how startling his actions were. "Relax, Hyuuga. You're not the pink-haired brat I was waiting for, but you can have her green tea."

Hinata cracked open a tightly squeezed eye. He wasn't fibbing, and she wasn't all that sure if she should've been relieved or worried—she might not have been blown to bits and lost her life, but she sure as hell was losing her mind. Temporarily brushing aside his casual mention of her fellow kunoichi, and not wanting to further agitate her foe-turned-friend, she tentatively picked up the drink. "T-Thank you."

It was sealed, indicating that—unless the Akatsuki has suddenly decided to abandon their criminal ways to head into the food industry—it was most likely safe to consume.

But that didn't mean she would just recklessly drink it; Konoha nin could be stupid, but they were usually not that stupid.

Taking notice of her reluctance to take have some of the drink, Sasori pulled out a similar can of his own. Purposely moving as slowly as he could to prove to the girl that the drink was safe, he took the first swig. It wouldn't have affected him all that much even if it were poisoned—he didn't have a digestive system anymore—but she didn't know that.

Convinced that there wasn't much else to lose, Hinata followed suit.

Realizing that standing there in silence would be much more agonizing than making conversation, Hinata uncharacteristically spoke first. "S-So you were waiting for Sakura-san?"

He quirked an eyebrow. "San? You address someone around the same age as you with san?"

She blushed as he pointed this out—it was a verbal habit that was telling of how lowly she regarded herself. With a strained smile, she began to explain. "I-I simply want to be respectful. Sakura-san trains under Hokage-sama, a-and she's much more experienced than me with—"

Sasori waved her words away as nonsensical reasoning. "And? You're the prestigious Hyuuga clan's heiress. Haruno's team just happens to be dispositioned to become your generation's sannin. You don't have to worry about becoming a good shinobi in the way that she's one, just put forth the effort, and you'll be able to find your own niche to excel in. I'd still drop that stutter, though."

Hinata blushed at his words—though not worded particularly kindly, if she looked at it a certain way—no matter how ludicrous it was to imagine—he was trying to give her a confidence boost. Most of her peers had just accepted her stutter as an innate piece of her, never really trying all that hard to change the habit in fear of hurting her feelings. At the very least, she could attempt to beat down the timid tic now. "Thank you."

Knowing that he wouldn't get much more of a response from her, Sasori addressed the question she had originally asked with one of his own. "Where is Haruno, though?"

Hinata didn't really get why he wanted to know, but she figured it wouldn't do much harm to tell him—he was, after all, part of the reason why Hinata had to go in Sakura's place. "Sakura-san remained in Suna so as to create more antidotes for the men that you poisoned."

Sasori feigned confusion. "Me? Poisoning someone? You have the wrong person in mind, Hyuuga. Perhaps you're thinking of the blasted puppet master that's teamed up with Seidara, Deidara's twin brother."

"I've never heard of a nin by the name of Sei—"

Sasori cut her off with a loud bark of laughter. "Really! That Seidara is just so cunning, he's even hidden his existence from us for years."

Hinata looked dubious, but chose not to comment further. If the world was strange enough to place her in a situation where she would sip green tea and receive a pep talk from a man that was deemed as one of her village's greatest enemies, then who the hell was she to question the existence of evil twins?

As Hinata pondered just how sane she was, they lapsed into silence.

Understanding that he'd have to put in more effort to get the timid girl to speak, Sasori plopped down on the ground, sitting cross-legged to get comfortable. This was going to be a long process. "Well, while we wait for the rest of your crowd to trickle in, let's have a chat, shall we?"

Hinata gulped. This was not what she had signed up for when she began her career as a shinobi.

"Sure…"

The Akatsuki were cursed, and—as they were bumbling down a mysterious cave system to chase after the goddamned raft of a Kazekage—every single one of them knew it. Not even the damndest of men could have been through the ringer as many times as they've had to.

There was no doubt about it. Kami himself had to be conspiring against them.

"You washed away the Kazekage, un," Deidara muttered as he ran up to Kisame. "You washed away the fuckin' Kazekage."

"Oh fuck off, why don't you? You're the one who dragged him into our hideout in the first place!" Kisame snapped back. "If anyone's to be blamed for this mess, it's you."

Deidara let the valid accusation slip over his head. As if Kisame's claim hadn't been heard, Deidara continued to mouth off his complaints. "What the hell was my hair cut for then, un? If we don't fish out the Kazekage from your river, I'm going to be bald and dead!"

"If you two say another word that incriminates us, or even makes us sound the slightest bit like suspicious people…" Nagato wedged himself in between the bickering pair, leaving the latter half of his threat unsaid to let the Akatsuki's morbid imagination fill in the blanks. In reality, he didn't have it in him to be all that threatening anymore, but his idiotic members didn't have to know that just yet.

Lost pizzaz aside, his words were nevertheless frightening. It was quite remarkable how scary a frail man like Nagato could be. An eternity could pass without contact between the members of the Akatsuki, and Nagato would still undoubtedly be their leader. As much as they disliked admitting it, following his orders had eventually come to them as naturally as breathing had, and that hadn't changed over the years.

And so, Deidara and Kisame ceased their useless argument.

Only to have the peace achieved by the silence be interrupted by the other blond in their presence.

"Where the hell is that Seidara bastard?! I'll destroy him for what he did to Suna!" Naruto swore, sprinting up to the front of their search party.

Deidara shuddered, knowing fully well that if he hadn't been bald, and if Naruto hadn't been a complete dunce, then all of the jinchuuriki's rage would've been directed entirely at him. Perhaps he should be thanking his lucky stars for only sacrificing his mane to avoid Naruto's wrath. He'd seen enough of the Fourth Shinobi World War to know that being on Naruto's good side was well worth his hair—regardless of how much time he had spent grooming it.

"Calm down, kid. We'll find your friend," Kakuzu grunted, earnestly trying to gain Konoha's favor. As much as he'd like to pretend otherwise, Hidan had been a good partner to him, and his time spent in isolate for who knows how long had only highlighted that. Hidan had earned him a decent amount of money from bounties; rescuing the Jashinist from Konoha's gratingly self-righteous clutches was the least he could do in return.

To their horror, Naruto's eyes began glistening in what looked to be tears.

"You guys are so supportive," the blond sobbed. "I can't believe Konoha treated you all so badly! After today, we'll turn over a new leaf! I swear on my future as the Hokage, dattebayo!"

So surprised at how sincerely regretful Naruto sounded over Konoha's rightfully placed grudge against them, the Akatsuki failed to notice that the windy cave system had finally ended. As their eyes adjusted to the sudden flood of light, they were met with a sight even more horrific than that of a drowned Kazekage.

They were above ground again—the hidden caves had simply been another way to access their hideout—but their shit security was the least of their worries. Standing in front of them, frozen in shock, was Team Gai, accompanied by an equally baffled Kakashi and a drenched—and very much conscious—Gaara.

There were more things wrong with the picture than they could count. In front of them was imminent death and to the right of the ragtag criminals was a profusely crying jinchuuriki who was apologizing to them for being angry at their attempts to take his life.

The Akatsuki walked back into the cave.

D: Sorry this update took a bit longer than usual. Summer school has started. I'm taking Calc at a local college and I'm already so overwhelmed. I'll still be updating, but probably once every week and a half now as opposed to the weekly updates. Not a drastic change, but I just thought I'd inform you guys.

Did you guys enjoy this chapter? I had so much fun writing Sasori and Hinata's interaction lol.

If you guys did like it, please review! It motivates me a helluva lot, especially when all I want to do is nap when I get home from class.

Have a great day!~