Chapter 3

After fighting with Thor for a few minutes more, only to determine that his hair really wouldn't come off, Chris released his grip and proceeded to stare at Thor with a confused look upon his face. Sebastian, meanwhile, had moved on to his fourth danish and it still seemed as if there wasn't an end in sight. Chris moved to lean back against the snack table, looking over at the still eating Sebastian.

"How are you still eating the danishes?" asked Chris, slightly out of breath from his circular fight with Thor.

Sebastian shrugged once more before swallowing what was in his mouth and replying, "I am hungry. It's better than eating the plums on set again like I did before."

"Oh…right. Russo was so mad at you dude…"

"I was hungry! Again, I had skipped breakfast and the plums were right in front of me. I thought sneaking a bite out of one-"

"You ate six, Seb."

"I WAS HUNGRY!"

Thor, during this entire transaction, was trying to comb through the hair that Chris had managed to once again mess up. He had gotten it straightened the way that he liked it before he left for Midgard, so he was upset that it was now in its tangled state again. Hearing Chris and Sebastian argue back and forth about the plums, Thor let out a loud groan and said, "Just eat your breakfast before you get to set!"

Sebastian and Chris both turned to face the red-faced Thor as he glared at both of them.

"You stupid mortals and your plums."

"Well someone obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," muttered Sebastian under his breath, but not low enough. Thor still managed to hear the words leave his mouth.

"I didn't get my coffee!" roared out Thor then. "All I wanted was my coffee and this day would have worked out fine, but no. Instead I have to come to this infernal planet of yours to get a machine that makes coffee and have to listen to you two bicker back and forth all day about danishes and plums!"

"Wait…wait…" said Chris looking over at Thor as he crossed his arms across his chest, "You mean to tell me that you're grumpy over not getting your coffee?"

"Um…yes."

"And Chris, you think pretending to be Thor will get you coffee?"

"I'm not pretending! Do I need to summon Mjolnir?"

"Would help," said Chris with a small smirk.

Thor rolled his eyes then, muttering 'stupid mortals' under his breath before summoning Mjolnir to him. Of course, being near the snack table, Mjolnir came down and landed right smack in the middle of the plate of danishes, just as Sebastian was moving to claim another.

"MY DANISHES!" Sebastian cried out, jumping back from the table in shock. After the initial shock had passed though, he moved forward to grip the hammer and tried to remove it from the plate. The hammer wouldn't budge.

"What. Is. The. Deal?!" said Sebastian as Chris was still staring at the hammer that had suddenly appeared; his eyes the size of quarters.

"You aren't worthy," said Thor then; a bit perturbed that Mjolnir didn't come right to him as it should have. He walked towards the snack table then as Sebastian still struggled to lift the hammer, managing to take it off the plate of now crushed danishes with ease.

"They were so delicious…" said Sebastian sadly.

Chris looked towards Thor as he held the hammer. He scanned him up and down a few times, still unsure about believing this or not.

"There is a rational explanation for this, and the explanation is not that you're Thor," said Chris defiantly.

"Alright then. Explain."

"You stole that off set."

"I did no such thing."

"You hired someone to drop your hammer from a plane and they missed."

"Rogers, I knew you were stubborn, but dropping Mjolnir from a plane is the most ridiculous thing I have heard come out of that mouth."

"Chris, you're having a mid-life crisis or something…" said Chris as he shook his head from side-to-side. "Thor is a fictional character. He doesn't exist outside of people's heads."

"LIES!" roared Thor again. "I summoned Mjolnir! What else could you possibly want for proof?"

"It's all fabricated! Your life is a lie!"

"I am not about to argue with some star spangled soldier about whether or not I'm actually Thor. I could strike you down right where you stand."

"Bring it, blondie!"

Sebastian chuckled after having sadly looked on at the danish remains for a while. Sebastian waved one hand across the air then with a smirk upon his face.

"I can see the plot line for Civil War 2 as you speak. Blondie verses the Star Spangled Short Cake."

"Short cake?" asked Chris and Thor then as they both turned to look at laughing Sebastian.

"What? It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

Thor groaned then and dropped Mjolnir on the ground then. He ran a hand over his face and let out a soft groan.

"I just wanted coffee."

"Alright…alright. First things first, lets get you some coffee and see then if we'll have an easier time convincing you that you aren't Thor."

"You aren't going to unconvince me, Rogers."

"Call me Chris."

"Whatever," said Thor. "Fine. Chris."

"Thank you. Now come on. I have a coffee pot in my trailer. All of this stuff will be cold."

Chris turned then to lead Thor towards where his trailer was; Sebastian in tow behind them. When they arrived at the trailer, Chris called out to another man that was a little ways away. Shades were over his eyes as he looked down at the cell phone in his hands.

"Robert! Hey!"

"Do I know you?" Robert asked with a brief smirk on his face, looking up at Chris as he approached. "What's up, kiddo?" It was then that he noticed Thor standing a little ways behind Chris. "What's Hemsworth doing here?

Thor recognized the man named Robert as Tony Stark, and acknowledged it.

"Stark, I was looking for you earlier. I was wondering if…"

"Whoa. I'm not Stark. Flattered that you're such a fangirl of mine, but…"

"I'm not a fangirl. You're Stark. I'm Thor, not Chris."

Another smirk played across Robert's face then as he placed his phone away, moving the sunglasses up to rest on the top of his head.

"Ouch. That must have hurt," said Robert then, crossing his arms.

"What hurt? What are you talking about?" asked Thor, completely confused.

Chris had already caught on to what Robert was about to do, and was shaking his head from side-to-side.

"Robert, you might not wanna do that right now. He's grumpy without his coffee."

"Oh, shhh," said Robert as he turned back to Thor then to reply, "You said you were sore."

"I said I was Thor!"

"Sore? I already asked you how you hurt yourself? Did you stub your toe? Did you break it with that ol' hammer of yours?"

"I. AM. THOR!"

"Seriously dude, how'd you hurt yourself? And what's with the wig?"

Thor pushed Robert aside then as he marched past him, determined on finding Chris' trailer without their help. He would do anything at this point to get the coffee that his body was demanding. Robert turned to watch Thor stalk off with a laugh.

"Wow. I never knew Hemsworth was so into method acting."

Chris, Sebastian, and Robert watched as Thor began to throw things out of his way in his quest to find the right trailer.

"I never knew either," said Chris in response to Robert. "He just got done doing it on set to Russo."

"Maybe he's Thor about not being in Civil War after all," said Robert with an impish gleam in his eyes.

"Not funny, dude," said Chris.

Thor proceeded to pick up a piece of the set then that still stood in the way, hefting it over his head in rage. Sebastian's eyes grew wide as he pushed past both Chris and Robert to get to Thor.

"THE PLUMS! NOT THE PLUMS!"

Chris and Robert exchanged a glance then as they watched Sebastian nearly tackle Thor in order to save the plums from being crushed like the danishes.

"Something tells me that this is going to be a long day," said Chris with a sigh.