Cracking my eyes open I glanced around my room moaning in annoyance as I let it sink in that I would have to tear myself from my bed which wasn't made of clouds but it felt close to heaven, or maybe its because my body just went through hell.
Taking in a deep breath to prepare myself for the pain I knew would follow like a nagging pest that just wouldn't ever leave now matter how many times it was almost gone it always came back disguised like an old friend but left you more empty and alone then before it showed up chipping a piece of yourself off to take with it every time making it harder and harder to put yourself back together but even when you do, you'll never be whole again, you'll never get that piece of yourself that pain took from you.
You will see it missing in little moments when you chose to not speak up or when you take the long road to school to avoid the bullies its because pain took that security from you, it will never be forgotten, or returned.
I tried pushing my body up with the heal of my hands dug into the sheets of my bed firmly I rose my upper body half way to sitting position before I started shaking vigorously and sweating in effort to just sit up, he went to far I couldn't go to school like this I sank back down into my bed accepting that this would be my day then it hit me he waited until yesterday it was Saturday today, in short I had two days to heal adequately enough to participate in school.
I nestled in my one thin blanket blocking out the cool draft as best I could and settled in for the next two days not planning on leaving this bed for anything short of a full blown house fire.
-Time Skip-
I was well rested to the point of boredom I was ready for school an hour before necessary bouncing my leg in place in anticipation to get out of this room even if my reprieve was school I was still very sore but manageable.
I decided to leave the house early and just take my time getting to school at least i knew Jeb wouldn't be up to greet me scurrying up the stairs quietly but with an eagerness that made me take them two at a time I left my 'bedroom' and rushed outside letting the fresh air hit my face a smirk graced my lips and a light pink blush rose to my cheeks embarrassing me in the full feeling of freedom.
Sooner then hoped I saw school rising in the distance like a ruling dictator looking forward to crushing souls and dimming spirits.
I didn't see to many people roaming around looking for their social clicks so either i'm still early even though i took my sweet time, or they were inside wasting this beautiful sunrise taking it for granted because their privileged enough to see it on a daily basis ... ungrateful.
With a quick pep talk to myself I walked through the front doors and deflated a little when I witnessed the halls crawling with students which means class starts soon and I was definitely not still early making my way through the halls towards my locker I heard Lissa before I saw her, how does that always happen.
"What a shame you still go to this school, I was certain you would be gone after attacking poor Sam." I didn't even acknowledge her I snapped open my locker grabbed my two books and slammed it shut I started walking away.
"Hey I'm talking to you, you stuck up bitch!"
"Come on shes not worth our time babe" spoke up Fang, i didn't even see him show up but I guess he was letting me off easy for now, or trying to.
"But Fangy shes just so .. so .. ugg!" she let out exasperated noise flailing her arm in my direction as I continued walking away.
"I know babe but if your late again you'll get detention and we can't hang out after school" I caught Fangs reply just as I got out of ear shot and reached my first class.
Taking my seat in the back of choir I didn't even get comfortable before Iggy plowed in the seat next to mine making it screech on the floor like a fork on a glass plate it came at least a foot closer to me I whipped my head up and felt my eyes get larger and my breathing became panicked as about ten different flashbacks hit me at once i felt myself shell shocked and waiting for his fist with the sudden movement.
He looked at me hurt then apologetic it took me a second to remember to breath and even when I breathed I couldn't quite move or relax my muscles I just sat there wide eyed staring at him, I saw Fang make his way over to Iggy anger in his eyes he sat next to Iggy and leaned in to harshly whisper.
"What did we spend all weekend talking about huh? Being subtle ring a bell? Discretion ring a bell?"
"I haven't even talked to her yet" Iggy defended but he had an already defeated tone like he already knew he was caught doing something he wasn't suppose to.
"What do you mean? I walk in and first thing I see is you a mere foot away from her and she looks terrified!" Iggy snarled at Fang but didn't respond he instead directed his pale blue eyes towards me.
"How often is you house ..." he waved his hand around looking for a word on the tip of his tongue.
"Eventful as we witnessed?" he looked nervous but pleased with his wording I looked right at him my shocked expression turned quick to shut down and anger I risked a look at Fang right next to him he had his head down but was obviously listening intently.
"Excuse me?!" I whispered forcefully letting strength fill my words.
"You can't live like that." he stated bluntly.
"I will live as I damn well please you think you can witness an hour of my home life and tell me how to run it like you have all the answers i seek." I spat at him
"Please Max you can't live like that you just .. you can't you need out or you won't make it." he pleaded with me but I let the rage takeover me not allowing myself pity for him if he reported my family I would never see Ari again and everyone knows how foster homes are he will only know pain and loneliness.
I turned to the front of class tearing my eyes away from him I tried to focus my thoughts on anything else to calm me but apparently hes not good at picking up on signals.
He reached out and gently placed his hand on my arm I ripped it off and pushed his hand all the way to the point if I pushed it any farther I knew it would break I didn't want to hurt him but I needed him to drop it, he hissed in pain but didn't draw unnecessary attention somehow everyone was oblivious to us, I guess we really were invisible.
"Iggy! I need you to listen to me do you understand?" he nodded his head up and down vigorously
"If you tell anyone and I mean anyone about the things that go on in that house you will break me beyond repair, I only have one person in this whole hell of an existence I call life that actually cares about me and its a four year old child whom I will lose forever if you utter a word of this." he opened his mouth to respond my eyes glossed over with tears.
"Iggy I. Will. Have. No. One. And I will take all the pain necessary to feel that moment of sheer happiness like I have never known before, to feel loved." I trailed off on the last second barley whispering it, releasing his hand I turned back to the front of class and felt two pairs of eyes drilling holes in the side of my head, I ignored them.
"Ok class who left off on Friday?" boomed .
A frail little girl who looked to small to be in our grade raised her hand shakily in a half attempt the teacher would notice her but hopefully no one else would see her.
He gave her an approving nod "Good Ella who would you like to go next everyone has gone once so you have the whole class to pick from." she fiddled with her thumbs and mumbled just loud enough to be heard.
"Well actually I really liked Max." saying my name as a whisper across her cherry colored lips she chewed on the insides of her cheeks as a nervous fidget half the class gasped and looked at the popular's they knew by social code should have been picked first.
I gave her a warm smirk and a nod as I made my way to the keyboard.
"What her? Shes awful I could at least hold a tune" screeched Lissa but no one paid her any attention so she crossed her arms and sulked sinking in her desk mumbling loudly.
Taking a deep breath I sang from the heart this time not for revenge but as a plea for Iggy to understand, please just understand.
I won't just survive
Oh, you will see me thrive
Can't write my story
I'm beyond the archetype
I won't just conform
No matter how you shake my core
'Cause my roots, they run deep, oh
I glared at Iggy as I sang the next few lines
Oh, ye of so little faith
Don't doubt it, don't doubt it
Victory is in my veins
I know it, I know it
And I will not negotiate
I'll fight it, I'll fight it
I will transform
Tilting my head back to belt out my hurt and pain to the heavens I sang my agony
When, when the fire's at my feet again
And the vultures all start circling
They're whispering, "You're out of time,"
But still I rise
This is no mistake, no accident
When you think the final nail is in
Think again
Don't be surprised
I will still rise
I must stay conscious
Through the madness and chaos
So I call on my angels
They say
Oh, ye of so little faith
Don't doubt it, don't doubt it
Victory is in your veins
You know it, you know it
And you will not negotiate
Just fight it, just fight it
And be transformed
'Cause when, when the fire's at my feet again
And the vultures all start circling
They're whispering, "You're out of time,"
But still I rise
This is no mistake, no accident
When you think the final nail is in
Think again
Don't be surprised
I will still rise
Don't doubt it, don't doubt it
Oh, oh, oh, oh
You know it, you know it
Still rise
Just fight it, just fight it
Don't be surprised
I will still rise
Finishing I looked out at the class of shocked faces but this time I got about three students (including a sullen Iggy) who actually applauded me I walked back to my desk and snorted "Ok Lissa lets see how you can match pitch better, your up."
I dozed off for the remainder of school but that wasn't new as the day finished to quickly it was time to go home I started walking out the front doors and down my path when I heard a shout being drowned out by everyone else "M.. M..x .. MAX hey wait up!" I turned and saw Iggy struggling through a tidal wave of people to try and reach me I debated waiting or leaving so I walked away a lot slower so he could easily catch up but not enough I had to stay in that mass of bodies.
"Hey I just wanted us to you know get a better understanding of each other I guess, you know?" he stumbled through awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head nervously looking at his shoes with intense concentration.
"Were good Iggy" I giggled "Just don't tell" I warned with my voice void of all previous humor. "Ok good" he breathed out smiling we heard a honk to our right and saw Fang pull up in a little grey car nothing special kinda looked like a soccer mom car but who am I to judge.
"Iggy we need to go." spoke Fang looking at us but I kept feeling like it was mostly me but I mean we were standing pretty close together so I could easily be mistaken .. but then again.
"Kay, see you later max" smiled Iggy then it quickly vanished and left an ominous scared look "Hopefully in good conditions" he whispered I waved back "By Ig" and kept walking home.
Song used Rise by Katy Perry and Disclaimer, Don't own Maximum Ride