Stephanie's gone. She traded places with Fernando so now I'm stuck with Fernando again. It says something about my relationship with Stephanie Tanner that she'd rather sit with Kimmy than me. I know about the little bet she and Kimmy have going and that Steph is Team Matt while Kimmy is Team Steve. It hurts to feel that a Tanner would turn on a Steve like that, but then there's no comprehending all of the she-wolf pack ways. I clearly have a long way to go in understanding women. If only women were as simple as food. Food is straightforward. I like it or I don't like it. And there really isn't a whole lot of food out there that I can't make myself like, either by adding garlic or hot sauce. Heck, the other day CJ made some tofu and I thought I it was gross but then she added soy sauce and I felt I'd died and gone to heaven.
Fernando is upset about being "cheated" out of first class by Max. I can't believe Max pretended to have a terminal illness in order to get unlimited ice cream sundaes. Wait a minute. Why didn't I do that? Oh man, I could use a hot fudge sundae right now.
"That little Max. He think he so clever. I'll have my revenge."
"Take it easy, Fernando. He's nine years old."
"Age is a number. Trust me, that kid is cunning beyond his years. I underestimated him. But believe me, as God as my witness, I will not make that mistake again!"
Oh great. Here's Matt standing over me but looking at Fernando, who has the window seat.
"Hey, Fernando. Now's your chance to sit in first class. Max has a tummy ache from all the sundaes he's been eating and he wants to sit with DJ."
I've never seen someone move so quickly. So now it's me and Matt.
"Hey, Matt."
"Hey, Steve."
"How's it going?"
"It's going. You?"
"Oh it's going. Yeah, it's going all right."
"I'll say. You're getting married, my man! To a fantastic woman, by the way."
"Thanks. You too."
"What?"
Crap. I didn't mean to say "You too." Why did I say that? Now he knows that I know.
"I mean, you're with a fantastic woman. DJ is the best."
Good save. I think he's buying it. "Yeah," he says, smiling. Gross.
Oh God oh myLanta. I can't take this anymore. I close my eyes and try to tune everything out. I need to think back and figure out where I went wrong so I know how to fix this.