El Grande Battle

"Oh ladies and gentlemen, the humanity and mobianity." The announcer said. "It looks like our up incomer El Gordo Grande has defeated the famous hero, Sonic the Hedgehog. Will the blue blur be able to recover from this serious setback?"

"Oh no, I gotta do something." Amy wailed, pulling out her piko hammer. "That fat slob is hurting my poor Sonic."

"Amy, no. You can't disrupt the match." Vanilla warned her pulling the pink hedgehog back down. "Besides, everyone knows wrestling is fake. Sonic will be just fine."

"Mmmph!" Sonic groaned kicking his legs from El Gordo's posterior.

"You think that was something, hedgehog." El Grande smiled. "Get a load of this." THPHHHT! Sonic's legs stopped kicking and he laid still as a foul stench filled the arena.

"Eww, that's gross!" Knuckles exclaimed pulling himself back up onto his seat after recovering from some serious blows. "That is the nastiest stank I've ever smelled."

"Ugh." Vanilla groan holding her nose. "It smells like a backed up sewer."

"Are you okay back there my good hedgehog?" The wrestler asked looking over his shoulder. "I guess I had one too many atomic burritos before the match." El Gordo stood up leaving an unconscious hedgehog laying on the mat. Placing his hand on Sonic's chest, the referee came over to deliver the pin count.

"ONE… TWO… THR…" The referee started to count. When Sonic, suddenly, sat up gasping for air.

"Ugh…" The blue blur gasped for breath. "So… much… fat. How could anything smell that bad?"

"Well, if you think that's bad, Sonic. Wait until I throw my whole mass into this." El Gordo announced. Running and bouncing, he leapt into the air and came straight down onto Sonic gut first. Sonic started to roll out of the way when El Gordo came down smashing through the bottom of the mat.

"Oh no. Ladies and Gentlemen, both wrestlers are out of the ring." The announcer stated.

"Poor Sonic fell through as well." Mr. Tanaka declared. "I hope he's alright."

"Oh no, my poor El Gordo…" Ella whined. "I hope he is alright." Just then a white gloved hand came from the hole as Sonic slowly but shakily pulled himself back up onto his feet. The crowd gave a cheer as the weakened hedgehog tried to stand.

"Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about." Sonic declared facing the crowd. "I'm your number one hedgehog hero."

"Why you miserable rodent!" A yell came out as El Grande climbed out of the hole. "I'm going to rip every quill off of your body and feed it to you." The enraged wrestler stood before a stunned crowed for a few moment, before they all suddenly burst into laughter.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" The crowd roared.

"What!? What's so funny!?" El Gordo demanded. "What are you all laughing at!?"

"Hey, El Gordo… or should I say Egghead." Sonic answered, holding a pair of wrestling trunks on his index finger. "Looking for these?" El Gordo Grande suddenly looked down and saw his Eggman boxers exposed for the entire crowd.

"AHHH!" He screamed covering himself pathetically. "MY EGG PARTS ARE SHOWING!"

"Oh my word," Mr. Tanaka exclaimed, scandalized. "El Gordo Grande is really Dr. Ivo Robotnik."

"I knew he was a villain." Vanilla shook her head. "But I didn't think he was an exhibitionist too."

"HEY EGGHEAD! GET OUT OF THE RING!" Amy yelled, heckled him. "GET OFF THE MAT, SO MY SONIC CAN HEDGEHOG THE SPOTLIGHT!"

"Oh no, this is horrible." Ella cried, sobbing. "My gorgeous El Gorgo Grande just laid an egg."

Eggman threw off his luchador mask and stormed out of the ring leaving Sonic to receive the cheers and applause. Walking over to pick up the mask, Sonic turned to face his friends.

"So guys, what do you think? Do I have a future in the wrestling business?" HE asked pulling the mask over his head. "From now on, I'm the blue blur."

"I… don't know Sonic. I think you should stick to superheroics." Amy waved a hand dismissively.

"Don't feel so down, Sonic. Some of us aren't just cut out for the spotlight." Knuckles climbed back into the ring, patting his friend on the shoulder and taking the mask from him. "So, what do you think about… The Red Enchilada?"

The seven of them were heading back to the house talking and laughing when a grumpy looking fox in a bathrobe and five 'o clock shadow came out of the house to get the newspaper.

"About time you kids got back." The fox grumbled taking a sip out of his coffee cup. "Cream has almost got dinner ready, so be sure to wash up before you come to the table."

"Tails, little buddy. Is that you?" Sonic asked horrified. "What did that little psycho do to you?"

"Hey watch your mouth." Vanilla snapped, smacking him on the back of the head." They all went inside and saw Cream in a bathrobe and hair curlers cooking carrots in a pan on the stove with one hand and holding a crying baby doll in the other.

"Honey, can you give me a hand here." Cream wimpered. "I can't do two things at once."

"Not now, woman." Tails responded sitting down and opening the newspaper. "Can't you see I'm looking at the sports section? Then, I want to check my stocks."

"Oh my G-." Amy just stood there terrified. "Sonic… remind me, NEVER to try and domesticate you."

"Oh dear." Vanilla added shaking her head. "I think my dear little girl has decided to take playing house a bit too far."

After they had gotten Cream and Tails straightened out, the happy crew were all sitting in the living room enjoying a laugh.

"Sorry about taking playing house so far, Tails." Cream said with a laugh. "I guess I get a little carried away sometimes."

"Hey, it's no problem, Cream." Tails replied, with his eye twitching in a nervous tick. Sonic had never seen him do before. "Just promise me, you'll never come within one hundred yards of my person again."

"Master Chris, you have been awfully quiet during the match and everything that had happened." Mr. Tanaka noted. "Are you unhappy with how your birthday has turned out?"

"Oh no, not at all." Chris replied, a smile on his face. "In fact, the match and everything that's happened as convinced me that I was wrong to want to keep Sonic as a pet."

"Oh, that's wonderful Chris." Vanilla exclaimed, putting her hands together. "I think it's very nice how the whole experience has matured you."

"Yep, I realized wanting Sonic as a pet was a mistaken." Chris turned around pointing to all the mobians. "I've decided I want to keep all of you as pets."

The house was silent for a few moment before a terrified ten-year old boy went running out the door with a crazed pink hedgehog with a hammer and an angry rabbit woman with a frying pan after him. The two chased the terrified brat in circles around the yard, while Sonic and the others simply watched from the window.

"Wow," Sonic shooked his head. "I guess some brats just never learn."

Back at the missile base, Eggman was pacing around in disgust.

"I can't believe that stupid hedgehog ruined my vacation." He said reaching into his right pocket. "Well, I have just the thing to ruin his day as well."

"What do you have there, Dr. Eggman." A-ko asked. "Something that will help you defeat, Sonic?"

"Wow, a new weapon?" B-ko asked. "Is it a bottle of poison you're going to pour on his chili dogs?"

"No, you simpleton." Eggman declared pulling a blue gem out of his pocket. "It's a chaos emerald / the emerald of transformation to be exact." He paused. "You see while Sonic has merely used all the emeralds at once to attain his super form, he and the others are not aware that each emerald has its own unique properties. This emerald when used in the proper manner will grant the power of transformation." Walking over to the ship's large turrent cannon, he used the still functioning nav system to target a particular house in Station Square.

"I have located where that blasted blue hedgehog is saying while here in the UF." Eggman explained slipping the emerald into a slot on the console. "I decided to stop playing around and turn that annoying rodent into a small mobini guinea pig."

"But Doctor, how can you control what the emerald turns something into?" B-ko asked.

"Actually, I can't." Eggman replied, setting his sights on Chris's house. "But I figure the transformation ray has to do something really, really unpleasant to the hedgehog." The beam fired off into the air, racing towards Chris's house.

When the two angry mobian women had gotten tired of chasing Chris around, the spoiled brat had stopped to whine and cry at everyone at his birthday party; angry that he hadn't got his own way.

"THIS IS SO UNFAIR!" Chris whined. "EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU RUINED MY BRITHDAY! I HATE YOU, I HATE ALL OF YOU!"

"Ah, come on now, Chris." Cream pleaded, stepping up in front of him. "I'm your friend and I like you a lot. Can't you even be nice to me?"

"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU STUPID FUZZBALL!" Chris shouted, shoving the little girl down. "I… HATE… YOU. I DON'T WANT ANYTING TO DO WITH YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE!" The little rabbit girl started to cry, but then stopped when she saw a strange blue beam shoot down from the sky. She was going to warn Chris but before she could the blast struck the poor brat covering him in a blue light.

"AHH!" Chris cried in pain.

"What's happening to him?" Sonic asked actually considered for the spoiled child.

"That's chaos energy." Knuckles cried out, recognizing the light. "He's being transmogrified."

"CREAM, GET OUT OF THERE!" Vanilla shrieked noticing her daughter had also been caught in the light. As the bright flash died down, they all saw to their relief that Cream was dazed but unharmed. But where Chris had been standing was now an empty pile of smoking clothes.

"OH NO! MASTER CHRIS HAS BEEN VAPORIZED!" Mr. Tanaka wailed as Ella passed out. "What am I going to tell his poor mother and father?" Just then, a long rabbit ear popped out from inside the clothing pile. A naked mobian rabbit boy suddenly stood up looking at his near found paws in disbelief.

"What have you furballs done to me?" Chris stated.

"I wouldn't talk too much, kid." Knuckles smirked. "You're now kind of a furry yourself."

"WHAT!? NO!" Chris exclaimed looking at his reflection in the nearby mansion window. "I look like a cartoon character." Chris suddenly felt heavy breathing on the back of his neck. Turning around he found a rabbit girl staring right at him with hearts in her eyes. "Uh Cream…" He asked taking a step back. "What are you doing?"

She suddenly jumped towards him sending the terrified new mobian running down the street in a panic. "CREAM, NO! I DON'T WANT A GIRLFRIEND!" The two ran off towards the horizon. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" As the two disappeared over the horizon, a large pink heart floated up from the spot where they had vanished.

"Ah, young love." Mr. Tanaka said wiping his eyes. "Mr. Sonic, I want to thank you for coming to Master Chris's birthday party. I'm sure you've taught him a lesson he's really never going to forget."

Back at the hanger, Tails was just finishing up the repairs and fueling on the Tornado.

"Well, looks like we're about ready to go." He stated looking out the window back towards Station Square. "And not a moment too soon. The farther away a certain rabbit is from me, the better I like it."

"I really don't think you have to worry about her anymore, Tails." Amy chuckled. "I have a feeling in about ten years or so, she's going to be too busy multiplying to care about chasing you."