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HAPPY FOSTERS MONDAY! I cannot wait for tonight's new episode!
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(Callie's narration appears in italics)
Stef and Lena couldn't take their eyes off of Callie. After sobbing into each other's arms for well over ten minutes they both took a seat by Callie's bedside. Both moms knew that the doctors weren't optimistic. They knew that the chances were high that Callie couldn't hear them or even be aware of their presence. But, both moms also had a strong sense of hope. Hope that their daughter could feel their presence and know that they were both right by her side, fighting for her.
Stef and Lena wanted to make sure that Callie knew that she wasn't alone. That they were by her side, waiting for her to pull through this.
Stef could tell that her wife was struggling. She was struggling too, but it was different for her. Stef was struggling with the feeling of helplessness. She couldn't stand it. She wanted so badly to fix Callie, but she didn't know how. She was lost. There was nothing she could do but wait and see. Lena was struggling with the same thing, but with the added feeling of guilt.
Stef knew it was all that was going through Lena's mind right now. She was adamant about Callie going on the trip. She knew that her wife felt that the current state of their daughter was her fault.
"Lena," Stef started but was interrupted by Lena.
"Don't," Lena dismissed Stef, not taking her eyes off of Callie for a second.
"Don't what?"
"Don't try to tell me that this isn't my fault when we both know that it is."
"It's not your fault, Lena."
"How can you say that, Stef?" Lena spoke vehemently, finally taking her eyes off of Callie and looking at Stef.
"Because it's the truth, Lena. You had no idea that this was going to happen. If you knew then you wouldn't have let Callie and Brandon go, you wouldn't have let any of the kids on that bus go. This isn't your fault Lena."
"Yes it is! Callie didn't even want to go! But, I insisted. I kept at her. I pushed her and pushed her until she gave in! This is my fault! Our daughter is lying in a hospital bed, brain dead, because of me!"
"Stop it!" Stef spat, trying to keep her voice down in front of Callie. "Callie doesn't need this! We need to be positive right now Lena! Callie can still pull through this."
"Stef, the doctor said…"
"I don't care what the doctor said!" Stef replied, a little too loudly. "We are Callie's moms! It's our job to have hope when no one else will. It's our job to try and pull Callie through this. We don't give up on our daughter, Lena. We never stop fighting for our daughter! Not ever! I won't and you shouldn't either!"
Lena stayed quiet for a moment. Stef was right. Lena was trying to be realistic. But, miracles happened every day. Their lives were full of miracles. Why should this be any different? Callie could still pull through this. They just needed to give it time. "You're right. Callie's strong. She's a fighter. If she can fight, so can we."
Stef sighed in relief as they both turned back to their daughter. Both moms held onto each other's hand while also holding onto Callie's hands, connecting the three of them. They would wait forever for Callie to give a squeeze back.
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP
What is that noise? It's so annoying, especially when you have the world's worse headache. Headache? Realization hit Callie, the entire day's events coming back to her. Oh my God! It's not just a headache. By brain! My brain was bleeding! Did they fix my brain!? I mean the last thing I remember they were going to try to fix my brain. How? I have no idea. But, they were going to try. Maybe it worked. I mean if I can hear, that must mean it worked. I mean, I must at least be alive. I just hope they fixed that talking problem. I couldn't imagine never talking again. That would suck.
Slowly, Callie was becoming aware of the different sounds around her. She could hear the beeping of her monitor, signifying that her heart was still beating. She was starting to hear another noise. It sounded like a pump of some sort.
That pump sounds familiar. I've heard it before. I know I've heard it before. Where have I heard that sound before?
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK
Knocking, now I hear knocking. Who's knocking?
"Ms. and Ms. Adams Foster, your son is asking for you both. He wanted to know how Callie's doing."
"Okay, thank you. One of us will be right there."
Stef that was Stef! Stef is here. So, is Lena. And I'm assuming that by son she means Brandon! That means Brandon is okay! He's alive! I'm alive! Moms are here! Everything is going to be okay now.
"I'll go," Stef spoke sadly. "I don't know what I should say to him."
"We shouldn't lie to him; to any of the kids. We're not giving up hope, but we still have to be straight with them about what's going on," Lena responded.
Not giving up hope? Well that doesn't sound good. Why would they give up hope? Hope for what? What's going on?
"I don't want to upset him," Stef responds.
Upset him about what? I'm alive! We're both alive! He should be thrilled!
"Just make sure that you assure him that there's still a chance that Callie will wake up and be fine. She can still pull through this."
I am awake! Wait, everything is dark. Why is everything dark? I haven't opened my eyes. Duh, Callie! Come on, just open your eyes. Open your eyes so that everyone will know that I am awake and everything is fine now. Mom can go and tell Brandon that I'm fine and that there's no reason to be upset.
DAMMIT! Why can't I open my eyes?
"I should call Mike too. I haven't had a chance to update him on anything."
"He's at the house with the rest of the kids."
"Okay, I'll be right back. I'll be right back Cal." Stef kissed Callie on the forehead before exiting the room.
Okay, obviously I'm not as fine as I thought I was. Something is clearly wrong here. Moms are really starting to scare me. They're acting like I might die. Am I going to die?
Oh my God. That sound. I know what it is. I'm on life support. A machine is keeping me alive. If that's the case, that must mean I'm brain dead.
So then, I am dead. It's just that a machine is keeping me stuck inside of my body. I'm going to die! I'm seriously going to die! How did this happen!? This is so unfair! My life sucks! It's been one disaster after the other and now I'm going to die. I just got my forever family. How can I seriously be losing them already? This isn't fair! I don't want to go! I'm not ready to go! Why can't I stay?
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