"Well Anthony you've been quiet for 10 minutes now. I think that's a new world record for you." Father Marconi said teasingly trying to invoke a reaction.
Tony smiled and sighed heavily. He had been driving around and had somehow ended up here. He had no idea how or why. It must have been some higher power urging him to. He had come to Father Marconi numerous times before and he had always helped him. So this time shouldn't be any different. But for some reason he felt nervous. As if something was about to be revealed. Something that he wasn't ready for.

"Anthony, you obviously have something on your mind. Is it Sam? Is she okay?"

"Yeah she is. She's in college and is engaged to a guy named Matt." Tony smiled but at the same time felt a little jolt when he remembered the dream he had about Sam being married to some guy named Hank.

"Well sounds like she's doing well." Father Marconi smiled. "So is this about Mona or Jonathon?"

Tony shook his head.

"Angela?"

At the mention of her name Tony looked down at the floor then back up at him. "Yes." he said softly.

"What about her? You didn't "kill" anyone else did you for her?" he asked jokingly. Tony didn't laugh or even smile so he knew that whatever was bothering him was serious.

"Tony? What about Angela?" he repeated this time more seriously.

"I love her."

"I see. And does she know?"

"Yes, I told her."

"I take it from your expression that it didn't go over so well."

"No, it didn't."

"So she doesn't feel the same way about you?"

"No-Yes-No- I mean she does. I feel it in my heart but she hasn't told me yet."

"Why?"

Tony sighed. "Because I hurt her Father. I hurt her so much that I don't think things will ever be the same between us."

"What happened?"

"I messed up. I messed up big time. I was so convinced that I wasn't good enough to be in a relationship with her. So I denied my feelings. I pushed them down." he sighed and continued. "I told her that I didn't go looking for this." he said the last part to himself but Father Marconi picked up on it.

"You didn't go looking for what?"

Tony shook his head trying desperately to clear the cobwebs from his already muddled head.

"It's the reason why I don't think things will ever be the same between us. I- I became involved with another woman."

"I see." Father Marconi said quietly leaning back in his chair. "And this other woman? Is she still in the picture?"

"No, no. I broke up with her when I realized I was in love with Angela."

"So this involvement with this other woman is that what you didn't go looking for?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure about that?"

Tony looked at him in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Well you said yourself that you were convinced that you weren't good enough for her. That you denied and pushed down your feelings. Maybe subconsciously you got involved with this other woman so you wouldn't feel any pressure to admit to yourself that you loved Angela."

"You think so?"

"Well think of it this way. Let's say you are applying for a job. You have the skills and qualifications but for some reason you convince yourself that you aren't good enough. So you subconsciously mess things up. You make sure you give a lousy interview or you blow it off all together. That's kind of what you did here."

Tony looked at him in amazement. Could that be it? Could he have been looking for ways to destroy any chance for a romantic relationship with Angela? So he could keep on pretending that he hadn't fallen in love with her? So he could keep protecting his heart and their friendship?

"You've grown quiet again." Father Marconi smiled. "What are you thinking."

"I think you're right Father. I think you're right. Thank you." he smiled and stood up.

Father Marconi stood as well and walked around his desk.

"Hey that's what I'm here for. Anytime you need to talk my door is always open." They walked to the door and said their goodbyes.

"Anthony?"

"Yes Father?"

"Best of luck to you and Angela. I hope things work out for you."

"Thank you."

"Even though she isn't Catholic." he said with a wink and a smile.