...Unless you just skipped ahead to this chapter, you'll know the basic jizz: The Mario Bros and Yoshi were bored as all living hell. They saw a suspiciously convenient ad for a fun house in the 'Kingdom, and ran over there for a fun day.
...Running like the wind.
Those were words that applied most to Yoshi, running excitedly to the new fun house advertised in Chapter 1. Running like he'd never ran before, Yoshi blew over several flowers when he bypassed them.
In the meantime, two toads were sitting down in Toad Town's central plaza, in lying down positions, staring at the sunset and appreciating life.
"Gotta say, Yvan," murmured the Blue Toad, named Wolley, "Today's a beautiful day."
Yvan (the Yellow Toad) simply nodded, not looking up from his GBA. To tell the truth, he wasn't caring in the slightest. He was actually wishing for an epic, action-packed day. But for now, jumping on enemies and hammering them in Superstar Saga had to do.
And that was it for a while. The noise of jumping, hammering, fire, and crackling thunder was all there was to hear for quite some time.
As you can probably guess, that wasn't going to stick.
In the distance, footsteps could be heard. Yvan arched an eyebrow in the direction of the noise briefly, but just as quickly shrugged and returned to the game. Wolley, meanwhile, also arched an eyebrow,but lost interest just as easily, lying back on the grass.
...But the sounds grew louder and louder, with it being clear that whoever was producing the footsteps was breaking out into an even faster run.
Finally, Wolley grumbled, got up, yawned, and looked in the direction the footsteps were coming. "This better be good... hold up, hold up, WHA?"
Now the figure was visible, none other than... Yoshi. (Duh). Except, he was still running, full speed, not knowing Blue Toad was in his way. Neither did Mario and Luigi, apparently, as they still were yelling out encouragement.
Scratching his head, Wolley was about to ask where the bloody hell they were going... his big, round eyes popped open, his blue eyes now nearly taking up all the space on his face. He had realized he had something else to worry about.
He quickly turned around, and began running in place to gather up his energy, kicking up a dust cloud, veins popping at the effort.
He spent too long doing that, unfortunately. In the time he spent building up energy, Yoshi's footsteps were now directly behind him. Before Wolley could even get out an "Oh, fuck", he was run over by Yoshi, with his back and chest crushed open,and him crashing violently facefirst with a resounding CRUNCH!
With the impact, Yoshi tumbled over, and with a "Yoshi!" in shock, he fell clean on his face, catapulting both of the bros off him. They both yelped as they crashed right into the fountain of Toad Town, in a cartoonish and yet semi-realistic manner. All the victims groaned one last time in unison.
"Sooo..." muttered Wolley, bleeding from the chest, back, and face (which had a black eye) and pulling himself off of his face, "What the hell is it that's got you guys in a stampeding fury?"
Mario shoved his head out of the fountain with a huge gasp for air. "Nothing, really-"
"MARIOOOOOOO!" Aside from Yvan, who had said that to begin with, everyone backed away a bit due to the surprise and sheer volume.
Yvan took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "S-sorry. Don't usually get worked up like that. BUT IT'S BEEN SO LONG! DAMN, I missed you guys!"
With a grunt, Mario steadily lifted himself out the water fountain. In spite of his injuries, the number 1 plumba instantly perked up and ran, arms outstretched towards Yellow Toad, happy smile on his face. When he reached him, they both slapped knuckles and threw out heavy fist bumps.
"Yeah, dude, what up?"
"Not much, dude!"
"Whatcha doing, dude?"
"Being a man, dude!"
"Say dude ONE MORE TIME, and I will fucking vomit," muttered Blue Toad under his breath.
Yvan laughed a hearty dude chuckle, and propped his legs up while sitting on the floor again. "Remember when, like, we were, like, trying to save the princess those two times, and, y'know, the 4 of us were just jumpin' off each other's heads and hurlin' each other off cliffs and/or into lava, commanding Yoshis to eat the others, and kicking shells at each other?"
Mario chuckled with the memory. "Aw hell yeah!... Seriously, who decided to have 4 players leaping around on the same flat-screen? I mean, we spent WAY more time trolling each other than saving the princess!"
Yellow Toad playfully rolled his eyes. "True... but DAMN, it was fun!"
Yoshi, who had picked himself up, laughed in memory. Even Luigi and Wolley chuckled, remembering how much they griefed each other.
Yellow Toad continued where he left off. "But, yeah, you're right! The SECOND we 4 got together, both games became MUCH, MUCH harder! It moved WAY too fast for my blood! And what about all them small platforms that we could never fit on?"
Mario clicked his mouth. "True...but it was pretty easy blowing through both adventures on my own! I mean, with no one else there, I could easily hop onto platforms without interruption!... But hey, I missed them days when we just fucked around instead of saving the princess! Wanna get together next time the Princess needs us?"
Scoffing, Blue Toad pulled his bloody body up. "Do you even have to ask?" He looked towards Luigi to see that the lattermost was indeed nodding as well.
As all 5 were in unison now, they crowded around, and after a heated group convo, agreed to star together in Super Mario Odyssey (yeah, I wish).
After they slapped five with each other, Yvan returned to a relevant topic. "So, uh, anything else you guys wanna talk about?"
"...Actually, yes," muttered Luigi. "We were looking for a fun ho-"
"-use?" asked Yvan. "You mean, like in the ads?" Yvan scratched his head with an uncomfortable look before responding. "It's been said that many have been changed after coming back-and many more never COMING back, period, but if ya want to, just head off to the Boo Woods."
Of course, some of Luigi's excitement began to deteriorate. His face turning a pale blue and his mouth gaping open in shock as he sweated profusely and began shaking, he muttered, "B-b-b-booo w-w-w-woods?!" He freaked, with Vietnam War esque flashbacks of the events of Luigi's Mansion playing in his mind.
No one paid any mind, with Mario preparing to wave bye-bye and hopping back on Yoshi's back.. but Yvan tugged his shoulder. Mario gave him a quizzical look with one eyeball, as if to say, What the hell are you doing?
Yellow Toad cleared his throat. "Just one last thing: You two haven't spoken with your Italian accents for this entire conversation!" he pointed out, clearly confused.
Mario prepared to say something, lips moving, until he caught himself, gasping. "Oh shit-a! Thank you-a for catching-a that!" he generously replied, patting Yvan on his yellow head.
"Now-a that-a taken care-a of-a... LUIGI! Get-a yo DAMN ass-a out here!" Not giving him a chance to eply, Mario pulled his pale brother off the ground, and plopped him onto Yoshi's back.
"LET'S-A GO!" yelled the cheery Nintendo mascot.
...
...
...
Mario checked his watch, grumbling as he wondered what the wait was.
...Oh, right. He hadn't ordered his retarded pet to move.
He didn't feel like wasting his breath, though. A smug grin curling, he simply kicked Yoshi in the stomach. The dino yelped in pain, but knew that that was a command to move. So he did, at the same speed as before. The Mario Bros had to hold down hard to keep on Yoshi. They both thought it would be well worth it, though.
As they vanished into the horizon, the two Toads waved one last time, then resumed their prior activities.
AT BOO WOODS...
Everything was eerily silent, as was typical of this wasteland. Ever since Luigi's Mansion's events, the woods had been mostly abandoned. A week or so ago, though, a giant mansion, with the sign, "ENTER, FOOLS" had mysteriously appeared in the clear spot.
A few heads from varying species littered the area, many white, and with blood spilling from their eyes. The sky was still eternally dark, pitch-black-as black as death.
Suddenly, a Warp Pipe appeared out of the ground. Instantly, a green figure with two plumbers (Yoshi and the Marios, of course) leaped out, landed on the ground, and struck a pose, while winking at the screen. While he was doing that, the titular duo of the Mario series leaped off the back of their pet/adopted son, and scoured the area. If you still remember the grisly descriptions from earlier (which also included the ground being a pogiant red, and several mutilated and white body parts lying around the yard, in addition to ghoulish letters (one written in blood saying LEAVE WHILE YOU STILL ARE ABLE)) flooding the are, then you wouldn't be a bit suprised to learn that this was doing Luigi's fears no favor.
Mario, on the other hand, embraced the scene. "My-a future home-a away form-a home."
TO BE CONTINUED...