Chapter Six

It appears as though the beautiful Carolina Broud will again host her infamous Independence Day soirée this coming Thursday. Who can forget the patriotic firework show from last year? The booms and crackles of them could be heard as far as Staten Island. How could one possibly compare to this year? I have heard that this year's guest list has become far more exclusive than years' past and that not even her closest friends have yet been invited. Details have been very few and far between – I have only just heard that Miss Carolina will be hosting the event. The details as to where and when are still hidden from the public. Though I do have my insiders who are sure to tell me everything as soon as they are able.

-From the "Gamesome Gallant" column in the New York Imperial, Monday, July 1, 1907

I raced as fast as my legs could carry me down to the kitchen where the papers awaited reading. No one was up yet, aside from Anna who, by the smell of it, was making omelets. The smell of meat and vegetables steamed up from the pan and into the air, instantly making my mouth water. I had barely touched my supper from the night before; my mind was in too much of a tizzy to feel the pangs of hunger. Now, though, my body was fully awake and alert.

I flipped through the pages of the paper until I read a large "SOCIAL" title at the top. I stopped and read Mr. Barnard's piece and was relieved to find he had heeded my letter. At least for now. Though he was a close friend, he was also a man who knew what the people wanted, and the people died for drama. I had been the drama of the weekend. He probably knew people were biting at the bit to hear of my arrival and mischievous deeds. I even surprised myself that I had not gotten into some sort of trouble yet – usually, it found its way to me.

"You alright, Miss?" Anna asked. She had probably been looking at me for a while, maybe even the moment I walked into the room.

I glanced up from the paper. "Yes, why?"

She pointed to the window, where the sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon, illuminating the deep, green grass that was a sign of a wet summer. Droplets of dew lit up the lawn, making it shimmer almost like a lake.

"It's quite early."

I set down the paper, satisfied with my reading. "Perhaps I'm still on Europe time."

Anna shrugged and turned back to her omelets. "Got any plans today, Miss? I've heard it's supposed to be quite nice."

"Oh?" I feigned interest. "No, no plans. I might visit Mother again." She had done so well when I first visited her, perhaps if I kept going she could get better. Despite everything Elizabeth had told me yesterday, I knew there had to be some hope.

"Oh, Diana," said a surprised Delores coming into the kitchen with two energetic children following by her side, "nice to see you awake so early."

I shook my head with a sly chuckle. "Everyone is, apparently."

Delores set the children at the table and began grabbing plates for everyone. "Well," she said, "even as a child you ran on your own schedule. Never got up on time or came down to meals when you were supposed to."

"I'm a grown woman now, Delores," I grumbled, but knew she was right. Even just a few days ago in Europe, I was still doing the same – sleeping late and going to bed even later sometimes.

"Call me Del," she said, setting the table in front of the three of us. Keller and Evie were squirming uncontrollably in their seats, nearly screaming for their food. By the looks on their faces and the groans that escaped their little lips, anyone would have thought these children had been starving for days.

Soon after, Elizabeth and Teddy both came down in their robes and embraced the children, planting a kiss on each of their foreheads. I sensed a little tension when Teddy bent down to kiss Keller, but I was convinced it was my exhaustion that got to me then.

Anna completed the omelets – four with eggs and cheese, one littered with bacon and ham, and two plain eggs. Delores helped to hand out the dishes. The cheese omelets went to the children, Delores, and Anna, meat to Teddy, and the two plain ones to Elizabeth and me. I looked down on my plate, disappointed.

"Sorry," Anna immediately apologized when she saw my face, "I didn't know what kind you would like. I assumed you would be like Elizabeth."

I faked a smile and grabbed my fork. "Oh, it's alright." I looked enviously at Teddy's. Reluctantly, he forked over a piece or two of ham and bacon and my heart was happy once more.

The sun was radiating into the room now, beaming through the eastern-facing window.

"Elizabeth?" I asked formally.

Liz completed the small mouthful of omelet and said, "Yes, Di?"

"I was wondering – is there a way I could borrow another dress of yours?"

She outright laughed. "I never thought the day would come that I would hear those words spoken out of Diana Holland's mouth."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh please," I said, "I want to visit Mother again and I figure if she wakes up again, she'll want to see me properly dressed."

Elizabeth was still smiling, and I realized everyone around the table was as well. Was it really that difficult to believe? The last thing Mother would ever want to see me in was the plain traveling clothes I had worn for as long as I could remember. I had realized early on in my adventures in Europe that if one wanted to remain undetected, the best way was to dress as plainly as possible. I had thrown out any frivolous clothing I did not absolutely need. That, and it made the traveling a lot easier as well without all the luggage.

"No," Elizabeth said a moment later.

"No?"

She couldn't stop smiling. "If you want to dress like a lady again, you'll have to do it the old fashioned way."

I could tell where this conversation was leading and I wanted to excuse myself from the table that instant. "Oh, please. Liz, no."

"There's a newer store that opened around the time you left. All the best-dressed ladies go there to get their dresses made. They have ready-made dresses as well to tide you over until your tailored ones are finished."

"I don't have the money to get a ready-made or a customized dress, Liz. Please just let me borrow one more of yours. I promise I won't ask again."

Elizabeth tsk-ed. "I'm sorry, Di. It's just the way it has to be. I can't keep you holed up in here forever. I'll call you a taxi when you've finished with your breakfast."

"Speaking of," Teddy said, finishing the last bite of his omelet and standing, "I should best be getting to the office now. Anna – lovely meal as always." He kissed Keller and Evelyn on their foreheads and kissed Elizabeth deeply, making Evie and Keller groaned in disgust.

He left the table and went upstairs. I looked back at Elizabeth, knowing how stubborn she was. There was no way she would go any other route other than the one she had planned herself. It was useless trying to persuade her otherwise.

Just by talking about it, I could tell Elizabeth was excited. She continued on after Teddy left, "I'll even go with you. Oh, wouldn't that be fun? It will be just like we used to do. Don't you remember?"

Sure, I remembered. Although it was usually Elizabeth and Penelope that were excited to go dress shopping, not me. I was just dragged along because Mother forced me to go with them. Honestly, I dreaded the whole experience. Nothing in that regard has changed.

I ate the rest of my omelet slowly, dreading the time when I would have to go upstairs and get ready to go shopping. I hadn't done any genuine shopping in… well, I couldn't even recall. I had the clothes I traveled with for at least a few years. If ever they got worn down too much and a hole exposed itself, I would either sew it up myself or find a scrap piece of cloth to sew over it. I could only imagine the shock and despair that Mother or sister would have experience if it had been them. Instead of investing a little bit of time in fixing the small thing, they would instead go out and buy a new one. Being out on my own thrilled me in that way – I was no longer attached to that kind of living anymore. I was my own person; my own individual being who made her own choices. Sure, it was hard and horrifying at times but I persevered.

Delores took the kids to their playroom beside the kitchen and Elizabeth helped Anna pick up the plates on the table.

"Oh, won't this be fun, Di?" she said again. I feigned a smile. "Mother would be so happy. Anna, would you mind drawing a bath for Diana? I can finish here."

I almost burst out laughing. Elizabeth? Cleaning? But she did. She took to the sink as Anna walked away and began scrubbing the plates clean.

"You've changed," I said, surprised. I didn't even mean to say it out loud.

"What?" Liz said, turning to me. I was standing behind her, leaning on the counter a bit.

I shook my head. "I've been having this image of you in my head – essentially just like Mother, only younger. You know, stern, cold, ordering servants around…" I shook my head. This really wasn't the Elizabeth I had contrived in my head.

She didn't say anything, just looked at me, shocked as well but probably for different reasons.

"Oh," was all she eventually said before turning back to the sink.

I left the kitchen and made my way upstairs back to my room. Anna was finishing up the bath in the room connected to mine. When it was finished, she exited the room and left me to myself. I took my time, biding it away before I had to sell my soul for a dress. I had thought these days were behind me, but I had somehow willingly walked back into this old life. I couldn't get how excited Elizabeth was out of my mind. This would make her happy, I knew that. So I would do it for her. I wouldn't enjoy it by any means, but I would begrudgingly do it for her.

I put back on my plain traveling clothes – the brown skirt, white shirt with a crisp collar. I even put a small black ribbon around my neck and tied it in a small bow to hang down the center of my shirt. I only did it on occasions when I needed to look nicer and I figured Elizabeth would appreciate it. Anna knocked on my door shortly after I was dressed to let me know the taxi had arrived. I had seen Teddy leave shortly prior in his automobile.

I was surprised how quiet Elizabeth was on the drive into Manhattan. She peered out the window the bumpy taxi without saying a word until we were just moments away.

"Did you mean what you said?" she suddenly asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… when we were in the kitchen. Did you mean it when you said you had thought I would be cold like Mother?"

I recalled how much more Elizabeth had gotten along with Mother than me. It hadn't even occurred to me that she would be hurt by the words I said about Mother. "Well, I didn't really mean–"

"I didn't know you thought that low of me, Di." The way she said it made my heart break a little. She was so wounded and hurt, her voice barely above a whisper.

I was silent for a moment in shock. I quickly gathered myself and responded, "Liz! No, that's not what I meant at all. I just… I had thought you would be more…" I couldn't find the right words to seem less harsh. "You were so strong when we were younger. And it's not that you're weak now. The home you and I had grown up in was so different. We had rules and expectations to follow constantly. In your home, everyone seems so much freer. It's not bad! In fact, I'm sure I've never seen two kids more happy in my life."

I saw her take in what I said, but she still didn't seem completely convinced.

"Okay," she said and turned back to the window again, watching the buildings go by. Her ivory hand was delicately below her small, rounded chin, her wedding band glistening in the light.

"I promise," I said, "I didn't mean it in the way you think. You're a wonderful mother, Elizabeth."

"You really don't have to be so hard on Mother you know," she said, still quietly.

"Elizabeth…"

"She's done a lot for you and I. After Father died, she did everything she could to keep this family above high water."

"Including marrying you off to the man who murdered our father and concocted the murder of your first husband," I said offhandedly. I regretted it the moment it was out.

Elizabeth's face snapped toward me, her mouth slightly agape. "How dare you."

"No–" I groaned, wishing I could take it all back. "God, this is all coming out so wrong. I know Mother has done everything she deemed was right in the situation. I couldn't even imagine what she had to go through with us growing up – with me growing up. I surely didn't make anything easy."

"Why are you here, Diana?" she asked.

I sighed. "I know it doesn't sound like it, but I'm here to make amends with Mother."

"You're right," she scoffed, "it doesn't sound like it."

There wasn't much else I could have said, so I kept my mouth shut. God knows anything I would say would backfire and just make the situation worse. She was so happy earlier just to go shopping with me, and now she was a completely different person.

The taxi pulled up to a large building with huge gold letters out front saying BERGDORF GOODMAN above the front doors. The name rang no bell in my mind, but Elizabeth had said it opened right around the time I left. I recognized the street though – it was the same street that held the Lord & Taylor where Carolina had met the thief and blackmailer Tristan who eventually ruined her proposed marriage to Leland Bouchard. Also on the street was the Tiffany & Co. where Henry had bought Elizabeth's, Penelope's, and my engagement rings. I tried not to dwell too much on those thoughts for the fear that I would get sucked into a dark hole.

Elizabeth paid the taxi driver handsomely as we both walked out. The building in front of me was larger than any other store on the street. It towered above me, seeming to reach the heavens.

"Welcome back, Mrs. Cutting!" a handsome man greeted from the front doors. I was worried for a moment that it was Tristan but his eyes were a deep brown instead of the icy blue Carolina always described.

"Edward, how are you?" Elizabeth said, sauntering up to him with a grin plastered on her face. She was always good at wearing masks.

"I'm doing wonderfully, thank you," the man – Edward – replied. He turned to me. "And who is this young woman?" I could hear his distaste the moment he looked at me and saw my outfit.

"Edward, this is my sister, Diana."

Suddenly, his voice and face changed to that of a happier man. Yet another mask another person is wearing. He stepped forward and took my small hand into his deeply tanned one and kissed my knuckles. "Lovely to meet you at last, Miss Diana."

At last? I looked at Elizabeth but she wasn't looking at me. Instead, she was waiting for Edward to open the front doors, which he eagerly did when he noticed.

"What are we shopping for today, ladies? We just got our fall colors and furs in just last week. I could bring a few samples to you if you'd like?" he offered.

"Please, thank you," Elizabeth said, continuing her courteous tone.

Edward nodded and trotted off after we entered through the doors. I nearly gasped at what I saw. Dozens of large crystal chandeliers dripped from the ceiling, larger than I had ever seen before. The huge department store seemed to go on forever. Wealthy women were scattered throughout the store, eyeing silks and furs, with each having a handsome boy trotting after them. The walls were a rich taupe with gold fleur-de-lis engravings crawling up to the silk draped ceiling. I had the feeling of being inside the world's most luxurious and ridiculous circus. I realized then how terrible I must look compared to everyone else inside Bergdorf Goodman. In the far back of the store, a golden railing and marble stairs led down into a basement that probably housed the hundreds of seamstresses.

"We will get you a couple ready-mades and have a few created as well," Elizabeth said, but she didn't look at me and her voice seemed far away. The polite smile she'd had on for Edward had disappeared.

"Lizzie," I begged, wanting to apologize further.

She held her petite hand up to stop me. "Let's just get through this."

I swallowed my words and just nodded. I nervously glanced around wondering if anyone I knew would be in the store. More nervously, I wondered if Penelope Schoonmaker, née Hayes, would be in the store. After all, this was the exact kind of place she would spend her days.

"Diana?" Elizabeth called, her voice far away. I hadn't even realized she had walked away. I found her near the ivory lace, eyeing a strip covered with floral and ivy designs. I walked slowly toward her, looking at everyone in the store. Luckily, no one seemed to notice or acknowledge me. "What about this?" she asked laying it on her arm and letting it drape almost to the floor.

I made a face. "It looks so… bridal."

Elizabeth sighed. "You don't have to go all white. You can layer them on top of another color – say, navy."

I wanted to keep her spirits, up, so I put on a smile and nodded.

Edward returned then with a few other gentlemen, all with their hands filled with dozens of fabrics and colors. I let Elizabeth take the lead in selecting patterns, colors, furs, and everything else. She had always been the one with an eye for fashion whereas I would have loved to be anywhere else. They measured me all over for gloves and hats. Shoes were slipped on and off my feet endlessly. Everything seemed to speed by but at the same time, it felt as though it lasted ages. I felt like the sun was lying when I looked out the window and could tell from peoples' shadows on the pavement that it was perched in the middle of the sky. In the end, Elizabeth had purchased three ready-made dresses for me – two afternoons and one evening. Then she ordered another half dozen tailor-made custom gowns for me and another half dozen for herself. She had forced me out of my travel outfit and into one ready-made that was a plain cream and blush pink. The bodice was striped with the two colors, with lace overlaying the cream. The lace was similar to the design that Elizabeth had pulled out earlier. The skirt was made of a light beige crepe that flowed lightly and allowed my legs a chance to breathe in the stifling heat of the summer. It had lace sleeves that reached just below the elbow, matching the design on the bodice. The lace collar crept up my neck, though since the dress wasn't tailored to my body it was loose and allowed me more movement than a normal dress would.

Along with the new dress, Elizabeth also paid for a new corset and shoes, both of which I was uncomfortably wearing. An ivory, wide-brimmed hat was perched on my head, secured with a light pink satin ribbon tied beneath my chin. Despite being dressed like this for the first eighteen years of my life, I was unused to it now at age twenty-four. When I first arrived in Europe after leaving, I had managed to keep up with the latest trends in fashion but I soon realized that with no one watching me every day and caring for me, I no longer cared. I then dressed as plainly as I could to get by – no furs, hats, gloves or luxurious fabrics. I stuck mostly to variations of beige in cotton, wool, or muslin. I no longer bought new items every week, Now I would consider it rare if I bought anything within a month.

"Don't you feel better now, Diana?" Elizabeth asked as we walked out of the store. Edward already had her address on file to deliver everything so we didn't have to carry bags with us.

"Oh, I feel something," I said breathlessly. I had nearly forgotten how constricting corsets were.

"I'm just glad you're rid of that terrible, ratty travel outfit."

"Oh, please," I groaned. "It wasn't that bad."

Gramercy Park was only a little over half a mile from Bergdorf Goodman, so Elizabeth had decided we were going to walk. Another purchase she had made – probably the only one I truly appreciated – were fans we held in our hands. We immediately popped ours open and began fanning ourselves with them.

"Diana," Elizabeth said seriously, "the back of the skirt was so torn, I could nearly see your ankles."

I rolled my eyes. "God forbid."

The thinness of my skirt really did help with the high afternoon summer heat. With each step, I could feel a cool breeze sweep inside the skirt keeping me from getting too hot. The hat also shielded my eyes from the sun.

"Your dresses should be ready by the time Carolina hosts her party this week," Elizabeth said.

I almost choked. "You're friends with Carolina?"

"Well, I wouldn't say friends. Close acquaintances, mostly. We have reached a level ground."

I raised an eyebrow. "You and Lina? Level ground?" I recalled when Elizabeth had grown so upset when Lina spilled her tea that she fired her on the spot in front of some company or another. She and Lina were good friends as children along with Will Keller until both Elizabeth and Lina developed feelings for the boy. It wasn't until Lina was already fired that she discovered Will only had feelings for Elizabeth.

Elizabeth eyed me. "It is possible for people to change, Di. You said so yourself."

"So she throws this party every year?" I asked, steering clear of that topic, afraid it would set her off again.

She nodded. "She threw her first one six years ago. It was the largest party of the year. She spared no expense. It has become an annual event since then. She even got Alfred Vanderbilt to attend last year."

The name Alfred stuck a chord – he was the head of the famous Vanderbilt family, great-grandchild to Cornelius Vanderbilt who cultivated his fortune in railroads. The family were famous recluses who were rarely ever seen, so the fact that Lina had managed to get anyone, let alone the head of the family to attend, was something astounding.

"The whole thing this year is shrouded in mystery – no one has gotten any invitations yet, but she promises she is hosting one and it will be better than anything she's ever done," Elizabeth continued.

I couldn't help but be a little proud of our prior maid. I had known her for most, if not all, of my life. I was always the one she came to when Elizabeth was too hard on her when Claire was too busy. I was also the first one to recognize her after she had gotten some money of her own and began rising in the ranks of society all those years ago. She had masqueraded as an orphaned heiress from the west who had recently moved to New York. I had loved the thrill of having that secret.

"What ever happened to her?" I asked. "I mean, I know she didn't marry Leland but did she find anyone else?"

Elizabeth sighed, obviously disapproving of something. "For every outing, she has a new man at her side. Just last month she was spotted on a walk in Central Park with Grayson Hayes."

The name Hayes stopped me in my tracks. For the entirety of the time I had been back, there had been no mention of the Hayes family of which Penelope used to be a part of until she married into the Schoonmaker family. Not only that, but I had previous relations with Grayson. Penelope discovered and used that information to blackmail Henry into marrying her.

"Diana?" Elizabeth asked, turning to me. People had to walk around us and muffled something under their breaths.

"S-Sorry," I mumbled and began walking again. Elizabeth followed beside me. I wasn't sure how much Elizabeth knew about the blackmailing situation, nor did I want to know. It was one thing to know I had lost my virtue to Henry, but completely another thing to know I had also had sex with Grayson.

"If you want to talk about Penelope we can–"

"Please," I begged, "I would like anything but. I don't want to hear about her."

"Diana, you can't assume to just walk around the city and pretend nothing happened."

I sighed. "I know. But, please… let me live in ignorance just a little bit longer?"

No one had told me anything about whether Henry followed through with his divorce or whom either of them married next. For all I knew, Penelope got her wish and married some prince or duke or another. In my hopes and dreams, Henry had remained unmarried and elusive to the public but at the same time, I did want him to find happiness in someone else. After all, he made no attempts to visit me in Europe. I gave him the option to come with me, to run away with me, but he and I both knew he belonged here.

We walked the remaining distance in silence, fanning ourselves from the excessive heat. No one seemed to recognize us on the street, nor did I recognize anyone. It was odd, really. At the very least we would find someone who we knew in one way or another. But no one was familiar.

We climbed up the memorable steps and Elizabeth knocked on the door. I stood behind her, waiting. When no one answered the door, Elizabeth knocked again, louder this time. She turned to me, visibly annoyed.

"Their jobs aren't too terribly difficult, are they?" she groaned.

I pursed my lips, hiding a smile. There was a peak of the old Elizabeth I knew.

Finally, after waiting a good amount of time, she turned the knob and let herself and me in.

"Ethel? Aunt Edith?" she called into the dark house. It seemed as if no one was home. At the very least, Ethel should have been there to receive guests regardless of whether Aunt Edith was in or not.

Something seemed off to me, and it made my heart begin to race. Something wasn't right. Something was wrong. The walls looked impossibly darker than they had ever seemed before and everything was eerily still. A small voice in my mind was telling me to go upstairs to Mother's room but I was too afraid to listen to it. Instead, I followed behind Elizabeth, step for step.

We stepped further into the foyer and we each placed our fans and our hats on the entryway's table. I looked to my left where the parlor was and saw a teacup and a half-eaten sandwich on the table. Whatever happened, happened quickly because the tea was still steaming in the cup. I turned to my right to our older parlor room, where Henry first gave me his hat. Oh, how far we had come.

"Stay here," Elizabeth said to me and stepped further into the house towards the kitchen.

I kept eyeing the stairs, somehow knowing that's where we needed to go. I waited for as long as my patience would allow me, but eventually, I picked up my crepe skirt and began taking the steps up. At the top, I turned to the left where I saw Mother's door open. Although it was dark inside, I could see a few figures inside. To my astonishment, it looked as though someone who looked like Mother was standing. A man was next to her, holding her hand tightly and helping her stand. A smile broke out across my face.

"Mother!" I gasped, running into the room. I knew it – I knew that my visiting would bring Mother round and have her healthy in no time.

But what I ran into was something entirely different. It wasn't Mother standing, but instead her sister, Aunt Edith. The man next to her, I recognized, was the doctor from yesterday. It was as I had thought – he was holding her up. But only because she was wracked with sobs.

With my smile immediately fading, I reluctantly turned my eyes to Mother who was lying in bed, in almost the exact way I had left her yesterday. Only now, her face was impossibly white and something black was dripping out of her mouth. No, red. It was deep red.

The color of blood.

"Mother?" I called again, only this time fainter, not truly comprehending what I was seeing.

I heard Elizabeth's feet pounding up the stairs behind me, and heard her skirts swoosh around her as she turned into the room we were all standing in now.

Aunt Edith and the doctor turned to look at the two of us, a deep sorrow on each of their faces.

"I'm so sorry," the doctor said to all of us, "but she's passed."