A/N: The M rating kind of begins to come into play in this chapter. It's not bad, per say. But it is kind of descriptive. So, if gore of any kind is a trigger to you, or if slight suicidal idealization is, I would suggest skipping the big italicized section further in the chapter. I'll put a brief summary of that part at the end of the chapter. But I've rated it M mainly for this reason, because it will probably get very dark at times and there's likely to be gore galore. So, if this is a trigger for you, I'd really recommend against continuing. Your safety and mental well being is worth far more than any fanfiction on the net. So, please, read safely!

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Everything was different.

Lucy wasn't sure why that surprised her. But walking through Magnolia as she was, Natsu practically vibrating with excitement as he led the way, the differences were glaring. Even now as they passed a street corner café she could see a blemish-free wall where once was (would be?) a giant scorch mark scarred into the concrete.

And the people, Mavis, the people. All waves and smiles and carefree conversations. Nothing like the husks that had been quickly evacuated from the town even as the outline of Acnologia became clear on the horizon. Those people had seen battle, starting with the assault by Phantom Lord, and it had changed them, hardened them, brought shadows to their eyes. But Lucy had never really noticed. She knew, of course, that they had suffered. They'd seen their town brutalized more times than they could count, even once by the very guild that was their pride when Laxus set everyone against each other. And she had felt bad, horrible, at the thought that they had brought Acnologia down upon them and had forced them to leave their very homes. But it was buried beneath the fear and adrenaline rush of the upcoming battle. After, she'd barely thought on them at all, too wrapped up in grief and anger and even more fear.

And then had come that final battle. Not much at all had mattered to her after that.

But now, seeing it so clearly, it was a bit jarring. She wrapped her arms around herself to hold off a chill that had nothing to do with the weather.

Had their guild really caused that drastic of a change? Not directly, of course, but... If it weren't for Fairy Tail being here, Magnolia probably would have remained untouched for a long time. The thought of it made her a little sick.

Then again, she thought as her eyes continued to scan the faces she passed, it could have just as easily been wiped off the map years earlier without us here, all of them gone in the blink of an eye. There was no way to know. As much as Fairy Tail had brought trouble to this town, it had also saved it countless times as well.

She shook herself sharply and focused instead on the pink head bobbing in front of her. Happy sailed overhead as Natsu continued to march onwards, none the wiser on the dark turn her thoughts had started to take. A smile creeped onto her face, a bare uptilt of her lips, as he continued to babble on about the awesomeness that was his guild.

"...-and everyone is super nice, too! Well, not Gray, he's an idiot. But everyone else is pretty cool!"

"Aye!"

"You're weird, so you'll probably fit right in," he threw a grin over his shoulder at her. A strong fondness rushed through her and it took everything Lucy had not to hug him right then and there.

"Weird, huh?" She muttered with a disbelieving shake of her head. Natsu was Natsu, no matter the time. But she'd lost his attention as a large building came into view, and honestly, as soon as she laid eyes on it she found herself unable to speak anyways.

"Welcome to Fairy Tail!" It was yelled for her benefit but was clearly no more than an afterthought as he marched forward. She paid it no mind, all her attention trapped by the image that stood before her.

It looked just like it had the first time around, the image of it forever seared into her brain, right next to the image of it as nothing but a pile of rubble as Acnologia roared out a challenge from the skies.

It was only three stories tall, not the behemoth of a building she had come to know so well. She had almost forgotten how tiny it was before it had been rebuilt. But even for all of that, it was one of the most beautiful things she had ever laid eyes on.

At the sight of the bright orange banner which proudly displayed their guildmark for all to see, she couldn't stop the tears from gathering if she'd wanted to. But she was here. She was home. She released a shuddering breath as that fact hit her. She had truly made it. Her guild still stood. It was right here in front of her.

She was infinitely grateful that Natsu paid her no attention as he threw the doors open, voice calling out a greeting before he disappeared within to start a brawl. It gave her time to surreptitiously wipe at her eyes before taking another fortifying breath. And then she forced herself to step forward.

Inside was a bit dim, especially after the bright sunlight, but it wasn't dark. Her eyes adjusted after only a few blinks and even then she had enough sense of her surroundings to not bump into anyone. Inside was just as rowdy as it'd always been, especially now that Natsu and Happy'd joined in, and was like balm to a wound for her. Her mind almost instantly calmed. muscles she hadn't even known were tense relaxed and she felt nearly boneless for a moment.

It took her by surprise, though Lucy guessed it probably shouldn't have. After that first initial attack, her and her guildmates had been running and fighting and running for nearly 5 months before that final battle had taken place. Just because Acnogolia had been at the top of their list of enemies didn't mean the others had ceased to exist. As they had banned together with other guilds, so had dark guilds and Zerref followers alike.

Fairy Tail had become nomadic, practically only a guild in name. They'd lost their place, their home, and refused to be the reason that fate befell anyone else. They'd all lost that sense of safety and security that only home could give you.

But here, now, she felt it. It filled her with warmth. She felt like she might burst with it.

A chair hit the ground beside her, wood splinters flying, and she flinched as she was ripped from her thoughts. The noise had continued to get louder, more voices adding to the mix even as more people got dragged into the fight. Most were yelling at Natsu, though that was nothing unusual. Lucy kept to the sidelines, never being one for all-out brawls unless they were necessary. Even being in the guild for so long hadn't curbed her aversion to violence. Just because she could fight didn't mean she necessarily wanted to.

"Did you say Natsu's back?!" A voice yelled from beside her. She steeled herself before turning to look. Gray stood next to her, dark hair looking wind-swept but somehow still stylish, his posture straight and his muscles bulging as he got ready to jump into the fight. The image, however, was ruined by the fact that he was completely naked besides the pair of boxers he wore. "Let's finish our fight!"

"Gray... Have you been walking around like that?" The question came casually from the woman to Lucy's left. There, cross-legged on a bar stool, sat Cana, a giant barrel of booze nestled in her lap. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes glassy but Lucy knew she could snap to sharp attention if she really needed to. Cana ignored the way Gray squawked as she brought the barrel to her lips. "That's so undignified."

"What rubbish." A shadow was cast over Lucy as Elfman stepped up behind her. His face was set in serious lines as he eyed the brawl Gray had joined. She could see him and Natsu trading blows even as everyone else tried to get in hits of their own. "Fight with fists to show your manhood!"

He'd barely joined the fight before he was blasted right back out. There had barely been a pause to deal with him before Gray and Natsu continued on. Lucy couldn't help but laugh at the sight. She remembered being so flabbergasted by the whole thing the first time around. Now, used to it as she was, she could find the amusement in it. Although it could be annoying, especially when she was unwillingly dragged into the middle of it, this was just how her guild was and she wouldn't trade it for the world. She would give her life a hundred times over if it meant days like this never ended. She never wanted to witness a silent guild ever again.

From the corner of her eye she caught a flash of orange and zeroed in on it instantly. There stood Loke, a girl under either arm as he sauntered forward. Knowing what she did now, she could see the effect staying in this realm had on him. Where before all she'd seen was the attractive "Mage You Want to Have as Your Boyfriend" she could now see his pale, drawn face for what it really was. His movements were stiff, speaking of pain long ignored, but covered by his confident swagger. The lines in his face were hidden behind the smug grin he kept on his face. And while she didn't doubt he'd surround himself by beauties even while healthy, walking with those two so closely held meant if he stumbled, he could easily blame it on the incoordination that came with multiple linked bodies. Honestly, it was an almost flawless cover and she wasn't surprised no one had seen through it last time. Even now, as tightly bound to the spirits and the Celestial Spirit Realm as she was, if she didn't know who he was she probably would have never guessed.

It honestly was very impressive, she mused even as he started throwing punches like everyone else.

"Oh, my. A Newcomer?" The voice was soft and sweet and yet still carried over the yelling jeers and crashing furniture.

"Mirajane!" Lucy didn't have to fake the excitement in her voice. Mira's end had not been pretty and seeing her here, alive and so, so beautiful had her ready to breakdown and cheer in happiness all at the same time. None of their deaths had been easy but Mira's...

Later, she scolded herself harshly even as she forced her grin wider for show. "You should probably stop them, shouldn't you?"

"Oh, don't worry, this happens all the time," Mira's smile was incredibly indulgent. She placed her hands on her hips as she looked upon the scene in front of her. The guild was wrecked, tables and chairs either thrown to the side, smashed to pieces or being used as weapons. And it appeared the fight wouldn't be slowing down anytime soon. "And -"

The bottle came out of left field, honestly. Lucy probably should have been able to catch it, would've if they were anywhere else and her guard wasn't so far down, but she could only watch in worry and not a small amount of amusement as it cracked into Mira's head and she went down like a ton of bricks.

"Ah, Mirajane -!" Lucy made an aborted move to catch her, but Mira recovered quickly, probably used to this sort of thing by now, honestly. Besides, Lucy had seen her literally have her leg blasted off and still stand back up for more. A tiny bottle to the head? Was nothing compared to that.

"Besides," the white-haired woman continued as if nothing had ever happened, even as blood ran freely down her face, "isn't it more fun this way?"

Lucy ignored the way the blood twisted her vision, made her see a different Mira -half of her head scalped off, blood oozing, eye sockets two gaping black holes and mouth forever frozen in a scream of agony - and focused instead back on what was transpiring behind her.

"I suppose, a bit,"she admitted, because it was true. Never a dull moment in this guild. "Expensive, though, I'd imagine."

Before Mira could respond a body slammed into the bar between them. Gray stumbled out, shaking his head slightly, before realizing that Natsu stood before him, smugly holding a very familiar pair of boxers like a hard-won trophy.

"My Underwear!" The ice mage turned to Lucy, who averted her eyes up immediately. Not like it was anything she hadn't seen before but still. "Hey Lady, if you don't mind, can you please lend me your underwear?"

"Why the hell would I do that?" Lucy found herself screeching as she punched him away from her, sending him flying back into Natsu and both of them back into the thick of things. She took a few deep breaths to calm her anger. Used to it as she may have been, didn't mean it didn't still rile her up.

"Ah, geeze. People with no elegance are really troublesome, don't you think?" She suddenly found herself in the arms of none other than Loke, hidden Zodiac of Fairy Tail. He held her firmly to his chest as he gazed down at her. "By the way, what modelling agency are you from?"

Lucy let out a long sigh as the fight around her escalated and she was set back on her feet. Loke stepped forward like all the rest, twisting the ring on his right hand to prepare his attack just as everyone else was. It was rare for a brawl to escalate this far but it did happen. No one in Fairy Tail was really known for their impulse control, especially when it came to fighting or property damage. No one would earnestly try to harm their guildmates but most saw fighting as a form of bonding all its own. If it wasn't summarily interrupted it was likely to escalate quickly, like it just had.

"That's enough." A silhouette suddenly towered over the hall, honestly looking a bit demonic. Everyone froze instantly in response. "Cut it out, you fools!"

"Oh, Master! You were here this whole time?" Mira asked pleasantly from beside her. Natsu began to laugh and brag about his perceived win and was smooshed underfoot as a result. Everyone ignored his complaining with long practice.

"Oh?" The giants focus zeroed in on Lucy and she at once felt his scrutinizing gaze. The first time around she'd been terrified, literally shaking in her boots honestly. She was calmer this time around - or at the very least not afraid - and so could feel the weight of the Master's gaze. Makarov was an inviting and open person, she knew. He was willing to open his doors to anyone looking for a home. But that didn't mean he'd welcome danger upon his other children. He had reached an age where he'd seen many things, had met many people. And as such he knew how to read people. He wasn't infallible, no. But he was a father.

And then, as suddenly as he'd appeared, he shrank back down to his normal size. She couldn't help but quirk a bemused brow, honestly, as he raised a hand in nonchalant welcome. He'd apparently found what he was looking for in her.

"Nice to meet you." And then he was flipping away, somersaulting through the air up to the second floor. His foot caught the banister at the last minute, sending him crashing to the floor, and she couldn't help but sweatdrop as he quickly regained his feet.

"You've done it again, fools! Look at these documents I've received from the council!" As he began his spiel, calling out the most destructive of the guild, Lucy let her eyes roam the hall. She stared upon their faces greedily, trying to imprint them into her mind. She knew it was ridiculous. Even if she failed again, as unthinkable as it was, she would still have years with them. But she couldn't help it. Seeing them here, now, happy and so, so young, she wanted to remember this forever. Wanted to burn the image into her mind, to sear it over the memories of their deaths.

"Guys, the council is mad at me all the time..." There was a tense silence as Lucy finally tuned back in, her eyes returning to the Master. "But... Forget about the council members!"

The complaints were set ablaze in his hand and tossed away to Natsu, who gobbled them up happily, catching them right in his mouth. Lucy snorted at the sight.

"Listen up. The power to overcome reasoning is born from reasoning. Magic is not a miracle." Lucy found a gentle smile grace her face as Makarov continued his speech. It really was inspirational. She remembered, after being a bit overwhelmed from her first look inside the guild, it had been these words that had cemented her determination to join this guild. They'd resonated within her for a long time afterwards, too.

"So, don't fear those fools on the council," he concluded, a grin spreading across his face. "Do whatever you think is right! That is the way of the Fairy Tail mage!"

A cheer broke out throughout the hall. She joined in instantly, her mind further laid to rest with the words.

Going back in time, changing history as she knew it, had not been an easy decision. What if she did change things and the outcome was worse than before? What if she could change nothing? What if she changed too much? Were a few lives, even as precious as they were, really worth risking the entire world?

Don't fear, do whatever you think is right.

Lucy had to believe in it. She had to. There was no way all of that death and suffering could have been right.

This right here, her guildmates laughing and smiling and alive around her, was right. It had to be.

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The world was on fire.

Lucy'd never been afraid of fire, not more than primal instinct dictated. After meeting Natsu, after becoming his partner and best friend, after fighting side by side for so long, fire somehow became equated with safety. Natsu was fire. He controlled the flames. And even flames that weren't of his making were quickly gobbled up and used to bolster his strength, to give him that extra push he needed to fight and win.

But now. Now everything was burning. She'd lost sight of Natsu what seemed like ages ago. As soon as that familiar roar had pierced the sky, he'd turned and been gone. Gajeel had only been half a step behind, yelling at the rest of them to stay put and out of the way. Like he really expected them to listen. Like he really expected them to just leave.

It wasn't long after that that they'd all been separated, dark mages coming out of the woodwork like cockroaches. Her own battle had been gruesome. She held an arm tight to her stomach where a lucky hit had sliced into her. The bleeding had slowed significantly but was still trickling over her skin. She could feel the wooziness in her head that signaled blood loss and exhaustion but she pressed onwards. Smoke obscured her vision and filled her lungs, causing her to choke, but she continued putting one foot in front of the other.

"Natsu! Gray! Mira! Wend -" A cough ripped out of her violently, causing her vision to blacken and her knees to buckle. When she came back to herself she was face down on cracked pavement. She forced herself up onto her arms and ignored the burn of her muscles, the pull and sting of her wound. She took as deep a breath as she could - and felt something in her chest shift, probably a broken rib, not important right now - and began to force herself back to her feet.

It was a struggle. All she wanted was to collapse back to the ground. To just rest. She was so tired, down to her bones tired. But she couldn't. She had to know. Had to know who was still alive. Had to know who wasn't. Had to -

Her stare caught on a flash of white flowing along the ground and she recognized to color immediately. Lucy's feet stumbled forward on autopilot, her heart hammering in her chest.

"Mira... Mira!" Mira wasn't moving, even as she got closer, even as Lucy called her name louder. Not a twitch. "Mirajane!"

As she made it to where Mira lay she could see the reason for her silence, her stillness. A sob ripped from her throat as her knees gave out once more. Lucy sank to the ground beside her, her hand beginning to stroke Mira's hair absently - what was left of it anyways, half of her head had been scalped, who could've, who would've -

Mira's mouth was open in a scream, half of her face completely unrecognizable, her eyes gouged out, her cheek ripped open to expose the gums and teeth beneath. Her body wasn't much better, a hole blown through her abdomen, her remaining leg reduced to a bloody mess to match her other stump.

Mirajane Strauss, beautiful pride of Fairy Tail, was dead. And as Lucy forced her eyes up and around she saw she wasn't the only one. Lisanna lay crushed beneath a large boulder about ten feet away, and to the left Elfman had landed half on top of Evergreen, obviously having been trying to protect her from the giant spear that impaled them both to the ground.

They weren't the first loses of this stupid war, nor were they the first corpses of friends she'd stumbled upon. She felt, at this point, she should be numb to it. But she wasn't. She didn't think she'd ever be.

She hoped she'd never be.

And even as she saw a shadow approach from behind her, even as she heard the sound of boots over gravel, she couldn't find the energy to move, to fight.

She was so, so tired.

Lucy looked up into the face of her would-be killer, the monster who had likely been the one to kill her nakama here, and for the first time in her life she was prepared to welcome death. If only it meant it could end. She didn't want to see her friends die anymore, she couldn't -

She could hear Natsu screaming and it jolted sense back into her. But it was too late. The blade in the dark mages' hand was already falling towards her and she couldn't -

She couldn't -

Lucy bolted awake with a gasp, her hand flying to her clavicle. As she forced herself to take deep breaths, long used to memories disguised as nightmares, she thought of the event she had just dreamt of. She remembered that blood soaked day.

She remembered that as the sword fell, Natsu had tackled her from the side, trying to get her out of reach. Too late, as she'd known, but it'd helped her avoid a fatal injury. Instead she'd gotten a wicked cut from right shoulder to just below her left breast. She still remembered the sting of it, the way the skin had flapped open and blood had poured out, adding to what was already pouring from her stomach wound.

She remembered how Natsu'd been so, so angry. Furious. He'd seen the blood and thought the worst. Surely he'd already noticed Mira, Lisanna, Elfman and Evergreen. Four nakama already dead and he'd thought she'd been the fifth. He'd practically incinerated everything, screaming out all the while.

It had definitely attracted the attention of their other guildmates, and as the dark mage burned alive the wreckage they'd been in had soon filled with familiar faces. Between one blink and the next Wendy had been at her side, sucking air from the sky and laying her hands over her wounds.

When Natsu had seen she was still alive, harmed but going to survive, he'd cried. All out sobbed, broken down right there as he leaned his forehead against hers and begged her not to leave him, not her, please.

Lucy had never seen him like that before, not ever, and it had cracked something deep inside of her. She'd been ready to die. She hadn't even thought of him, of any of them, of how they'd feel when they found her body with all the rest. Had only thought of her own exhaustion. How selfish she was.

She never thought of death as an acceptable option from that day forward. Not until She held her dragon slayer in her arms and he choked out his last words through the blood bubbling past his lips. Not until Jellal came to her with a desperate, crazy plan. Not until it was decided she would be the one to be sent back and they'd all looked at her with hollow eyes and had begged her to make it right. Then, then it was an acceptable option. It was an acceptable sacrifice to make.

Taking one last deep breath, Lucy slid out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. It had been a long time since she'd been in this apartment, and she was a little surprised she'd been able to rent it again, though she didn't know why she wouldn't have.

She splashed cold water on her face, then forced herself to meet her gaze in the mirror. Dark pools of dull brown stared back and she sighed at herself. She'd expected this, really, but she'd still hoped to avoid it. As used to nightmares and the accompanying sleep deprivation as she was, she still didn't like it. She'd been doing pretty good recently, too. She'd had a pretty bad one the first night she'd met Natsu again but that wasn't surprising. She'd been able to stifle her scream then and had laid quietly, forcing herself to breathe deeply, until sunrise. He'd been none the wiser.

Lucy knew it was because of all the faces she'd seen today, faces of nakama long dead. And this probably wouldn't be the only dream like this she had. She probably had an entire week of sleeplessness to look forward to, if not longer, honestly.

She couldn't help but sigh again. Tomorrow, if she remembered correctly, would be the day she took her first mission with Natsu to rescue Macao. She had to be rested enough, at least, to not be a hindrance. It wasn't a difficult mission, not compared to others she'd taken later on, and with Natsu at her back she knew she'd be okay. Still. She didn't want to be dead weight. This first mission was where they'd really begun to bond, where they'd become partners for the first time. She refused to ruin that in any way, even if it was with exhaustion.

Her eyes flicked to her clock as she laid back down in her bed. 2:37 in the morning. She still had about eight hours before she had to be at the guild. Plenty of time to rest. She should at least try for more sleep. She had to.

She was going to sleep, damn it, even if she had to stare at her ceiling for hours just to do it.

Tomorrow was too important not to.

A/N: The italicized section is a nightmare Lucy has. It's a memory of a battle where she finds Mirajane, Lisanna, Elfman and Evergreen all dead. As their killer comes at her with a sword she loses the will to fight and once she's jarred back into sense it's too late to move.

This chapter was very hard to write so I'm honestly surprised I'm getting it to you on time. I pretty much just forced myself to sit and start typing. I felt like the guild scene could've been done so much better, so I'm sorry if any of you were disappointed.

I found myself switching tenses a lot in this chapter, I have no idea why. I've checked and double checked but if I missed any just let me know and I'll fix it immediately.