Chapter Thirteen

Meet me tonight at the greenhouse, 9 PM. I'll have news for you.

- HS

Edith was waiting patiently with Thomas back at our carriage. Everyone else from the service had long since retired back home to begin visiting hours.

"Is everything alright?" Aunt Edith asked once I joined her again.

I couldn't keep the wide grin off my face. I could have been struck down by God and dragged by demons to Hell. I would have been perfectly content. I don't even fully know what it was that changed. I still couldn't tell Henry the truth about what had happened to me in Europe, but maybe that didn't matter. if he didn't know, then perhaps I could pretend it didn't happen and try to move on with my life. Maybe, in the back of my mind, I only needed Elizabeth's blessing.

"Everything is perfect," I replied, taking Thomas's hand as he helped me into the carriage.

Aunt Edith's eyes were burning a hole on the side of me the whole ride back to 17 Gramercy. I didn't mind – I was finally fully happy. After all these years, Henry's love never wavered. And now that I knew that with a certainty, we could finally live the life we were always meant to live. As man and wife. Out of New York.

I had completely forgotten about Grayson Hayes at the church until the carriage pulled up to Gramercy and I saw him entering just ahead of us.

"Mr. Hayes, it's so good to see you," Aunt Edith said, carefully stepping out of the carriage with the help of Thomas. Despite her wittiness, I had to remind myself that she was still quite old.

Ethel was holding the door open and Grayson spun around. He was halfway inside when Aunt Edith had stopped him. The sight of him made my blood boil – half in embarrassment, half in annoyance. I dreaded that this visit was going to be him confessing his love for me. Penelope had decided it would be fun to have Grayson flirt with me on the trip to Florida, but she hadn't counted on the fact that he indeed did fall in love with me. Of course, I didn't love him at all but he and I had sex and Henry saw us, which eventually drove Henry to enlist in the army.

I got out of the carriage after Aunt Edith and tried to glare at Grayson so fiercely that he would go away. But that didn't happen.

Grayson plastered on a large smile. "Miss Holland," he said, dipping his head. Then he turned to look at me and said, "Miss Diana. I was wondering, if you're feeling better, if you would like to join me for a walk in the park. It is a beautiful day."

"It is beautiful, isn't it?" Aunt Edith mused. "I'm sure Diana would enjoy a nice walk. She's been cooped up in her room for so long. I'm sure some fresh air will do her good."

I clenched my jaw to prevent myself from lashing out and causing a scene on the street. I had no choice now, thanks to Aunt Edith, but to go on this terrible walk that I'm sure would feel entirely too long.

"I would love to," I said tensely.

Grayson bounded down the brown stone steps to me where he took my hand and slung it into the crook of his arm. I held my arm tensely so it barely touched him. He began guiding me away from my home and toward Gramercy Park.

It was much, much smaller than Central Park but Mother maintained that Gramercy was far superior because only those with homes in Gramercy were allowed inside, whereas Central Park was open to the public. Grayson led me into this small park where women were slowly strolling with little carriages holding their infants and men walked along side them. I let my mind wander, imagining Henry and I walking through Hyde Park in London, joined by our own children.

"I didn't want you to get the wrong idea," Grayson eventually said.

"Wrong idea about what, exactly?"

"Lina and I."

"Whatever you are going to that poor girl needs to end now, Grayson. It's just cruel that you still do this to girls. One day, I hope, you'll mature enough to realize this." I kept my eyes facing forward and didn't once look at him.

"That's just what I mean," he said, stopping entirely. I had no choice but to stop beside him. "Diana – Miss Diana – I am… very fond of Miss Broud. I've gotten to know here quite well and…" He stepped in front of my gaze, releasing my arm, so I was forced to look at him. "I love her."

I was silent, staring at him for a moment, and then I laughed. "Oh? You love her?" I laughed again.

His brows furrowed. "I do. I love her. I'm sorry, but what is so funny? Are you having a fit?"

I sighed, catching my breath. "Grayson, you fall in love every other week."

He set his jaw. "She's different. We met at her Independence Day party last year and I can't get enough of her. I want to spend every minute with her and long for her when I have to leave her. We spend nearly every day together – so yes, I do love her. And I'm going to ask her to marry me." He let out a deep breath. "Wow, that's the first time I've said that out loud. I'm going to ask her to marry me. Well, with your blessing, of course."

"My blessing?" I gasped, taking a step back. "Why mine?"

"Well, she doesn't have a father to ask. I know she looks up to you a lot, so I figured you would be the closest person to ask."

"My answer is no then," I said quickly.

"No?"

"You were in love with me, remember? Remember how quickly that came and went? Or the countless other women before and after me? You only think it's love when in reality, it's just infatuation."

He shook his head aggressively. "No, it's different this time. I feel like I can't breathe when I'm around her. She's my entire world. Haven't you ever felt like that?"

I pursed my lips, wondering if he truly did love her. It was no doubt in my mind that he was capable of falling in love, but instead, I doubted if he could remain in love.

"How long have you felt this way?" I asked, more as a test.

"She and I have been seeing each other every day since her party, but I realized I loved her – truly, deeply loved her – last October. I was going to write you this summer to ask your permission to marry her but I couldn't find an address for you. Then I saw you at the funeral and thought it must be fate."

"And you believe you really love her?" I asked, still slightly skeptical.

"With everything I've got," he said nodding. The intensity in his eyes never wavered. He really did love her, I realized, more than he ever even loved me.

"So what's your plan then?"

"Plan?"

I nodded. "Your plan to propose. I assume you have a plan?"

"Oh!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. Anyone who saw would immediately know that an engagement ring was enclosed inside.

He opened the box and turned it to me to see. I couldn't help but gasp at the beauty of it. A large, emerald stone saw inside, cut pristinely into and oval. Circling the bright green stone were tiny little diamonds, with the same size diamonds running the length of the band.

"It's beautiful," I breathed. A piece like this must have cost at least a thousand dollars. It was dazzling in the light.

"I picked out the stone and had it custom made. The emerald almost exactly matches her eyes. That was the first thing I fell in love with – her eyes. She's the most real person I've ever met. She's not afraid to call me out when I'm acting immature. Her eyes exude truth and beauty."

I knew Lina's eyes well and knew exactly what he was talking about. I was always secretly jealous of the brightness of Lina's eyes since mine were a dull brown.

I closed the box he was holding out, as a way to remind myself that I could not run away with it, though I was tempted. I hadn't seen anything so beautiful in so long.

"It's beautiful," I repeated, still slightly breathless from the beauty of the ring. I had a similar ring waiting for me, assuming Henry still had it. Although mine was sapphire instead of emerald, and the surrounding diamonds on mine were slightly larger. "She's going to love it."

Grayson's face lit up. "Does this mean I have your permission?"

His smile was contagious so I said through my grin, "Yes. You better treat her well, Grayson, or there'll be hell to pay."

"I wouldn't doubt it, not from you," he said laughing a deep, throaty laugh a few times.

He walked me back to Gramercy but said he couldn't stay.

"You'll tell me when you've asked her?" I said in the doorway.

"Oh," he said with a laugh, "I'm sure it'll be out in the papers sooner than I could un here – she'd have it no other way."

I walked back into the house after he kissed my cheek goodbye and was greeted by Ethel who was ready to receive my hat.

"Mr. Schoonmaker is in the parlor," she informed me with rosy cheeks. "Who was that just leaving?"

"Grayson Hayes," Henry said, stepping into the room. He answered before I could. His voice was filled with ice despite the heat coming in from the open door.

Ethel quickly shuffled out of the room, sending some sort of fight. I sighed, not really feeling like arguing.

"Henry, we were just talking."

"I saw you two 'talking.' He pulled out a ring, Diana. And I saw your reaction."

I widened my eyes, sensing where he was going. "Oh! Henry! No, that's not it at all."

"Did he propose to you? God, the gall that man has. One moment he's with Miss Broud and then the next… he sees you and proposes! You turned him down, I assume? There's no ring on your finger. I can't blame the man though."

I couldn't help but let out a small giggle. "As flattered as I am that you think a man would propose to me that quickly – no, Grayson did not propose. Not to me, at least. He plans to ask Lina to marry him. He was simply asking for my permission, which I gave."

Henry's face softened. "Oh."

"Besides," I said, "that's not whose ring I want on my finger." I smiled up at him.

A sly smile spread across his lips. "Oh?"

"I think a fall wedding in Paris would be lovely," I said, barely finishing my sentence before he was scooping me up into his arms and spinning me around. We were each giggling loudly like young children. When he did set me down, I added, "I think we've waited long enough."

With one hand on my lower back and the other cupping my cheek, he kissed me. Long and deep and more full of love than I had ever felt. I could have lived in that moment of ecstasy forever. I forgot about Penelope and Mother and everything that happened in Europe. All there was in my world now was Henry and me. Nothing else existed.

"I'll visit my attorney first thing in the morning," he said once we separated. Our faces still lingered scandalously close. He traced his thumb over my plump lower lip, which was now swollen from the kiss.

I nodded, unable to speak. I only knew that I could not be happier than I was in that moment.

Henry was finally, finally my fiancé.

Lina visited shortly after Henry left and I had to act completely oblivious when she told me about her party last year and how she and Grayson reconnected and were inseparable ever since. They way she gushed over him already told me how she would answer his proposal.

The rest of the day was spent helping to clean the house in preparation for the lawyer's visit the next day. I didn't say anything to Aunt Edith or anyone about my engagement to Henry. I wanted to wait until I knew without a doubt that we could pull this off – him divorcing Penelope and the both of us leaving for Europe. Plus the little girl in me desperately wanted the ring I hadn't seen in seven years back on my finger before I told anyone.

So when Elizabeth commented on my glow that night, I had no choice but to say, "It must just be the beautiful weather we've been having. It was true – there hadn't been a drop of rain since Mother's funeral and the summer heat had broken after the storm, giving us relatively cool days. Everything was perfect.

We all sat in the parlor – Aunt Edith, Elizabeth, and me – eating small sandwiches the next day in the early afternoon while we waited for the lawyer to arrive. When Ethel stepped in the room, we each began to stand, believing the lawyer had arrived. Instead, she handed me a letter from Henry. I smiled at the message and slipped it into the pocket of my dress.

"What is it?" Aunt Edith asked me one I sat down again.

"Oh, nothing," I said, through my flushed smile.

I glanced to Elizabeth and she smiled at me, clearly knowing what it was. Before Aunt Edith could ask anything else, Elizabeth asked about the flowers that were freshly planted out front. I droned out the response and instead sank deeper into my chair in glee, anticipating the night.

When Ethel next came into the room, it was to announce the lawyer, Hammond Werther. He was dressed in a sharp gray suite and navy blue tie. Immediately upon entering, he took off his hat and bowed his head.

"Good afternoon, ladies," he greeted us. We all stood and he extended a kiss to Aunt Edith's knuckles.

Ethel took his hat shortly after and asked, "Can I get you anything? Coffee, tea?"

Mr. Werther nodded. "A water would be wonderful, thank you."

As Ethel left to the kitchen, Elizabeth came forward to Mr. Werther.

"Mr. Werther," she said in her most gracious, honey-smooth voice, "I want to thank you for coming out on such short notice. You're doing our family a great service."

"Oh, it's nothing," he said nonchalantly. Then he turned to me. "As I understand it, Miss Diana Holland is to leave again shortly. Besides, your father and mother were great friends of mine for many years. I'm so sorry Louisa has passed, but I have faith she's commanding deep respect with our Lord in Heaven."

We all dipped our heads in agreement, but I mostly did so to hide the smile on my face. No doubt with a statement like that, he knew Mother well.

Elizabeth led us all to the adjoining library, where she felt the room was most suitable for this type of visit. Mr. Werther sat in Father's desk's chair and opened his briefcase, which enclosed a small folder.

I supposed I knew where this meeting would head. Elizabeth and Teddy would get the majority of the money and 17 Gramercy while Aunt Edith got the remainder of the money and the valuables. Mother probably didn't even think I would be here for her death and funeral, let alone for the hearing of her will. I already knew I would get nothing, so I looked out the window behind him and began daydreaming about my wedding to Henry.

"As you all well know, we are gathered to read the last will and testament of Mrs. Louisa Adora Holland, widow to Mr. Edward Holland of the esteemed Holland family line," began Mr. Werther, his voice like an echo in the back of my preoccupied mind. "Although the family's assets… declined… for a brief moment, you all found a way out of the darkness and for that I see you all as truly strong women."

"Thank you, Mr. Werther," murmured Aunt Edith.

"Let's get started, shall we?" he said, opening the folder to pull out several pages and an envelope. He lipped on his glasses and began to read the will.

Mother left Elizabeth and Teddy the property the oil foundry in San Pedro and seventy percent of its profits, and stated that she wished for the business to be handed down to Keller when Elizabeth and Teddy agreed he was at a suitable age. The residential property in San Pedro, which Elizabeth and Will lived in for a short time, was also left to them.

It felt like it went on and on, dividing up the assets of the Holland family's old matriarch. The majority of everything, of course, went to Elizabeth and Teddy, though I was shocked that Keller was mentioned only because I was never quite sure how Mother felt about Elizabeth running away to be with Will. Granted, she did request them to be married, therefore making Keller a true heir and not a bastard (which I thought was an archaic term).

Aunt Edith was given the other thirty percent of the profits from the oil foundry. Mother also meticulously listed all the jewelry bequeathed to Elizabeth and Aunt Edith.

I was daydreaming the color of the sash that would tie a ribbon around my wedding bouquet – I thought a light, blush pink would be beautiful tied around white roses – when I heard Mr. Werther mention my name for the first time since the meeting began.

"And to my second daughter, Diana," he was reading, nearing the last page of the will. I leaned in unconsciously, wondering what she could possibly want to give me, "I give the residence at 17 Gramercy, along with a hand-written letter."

My mouth went as dry as cotton. I think I may have stopped breathing. If anyone was speaking in the room, I didn't hear it. Something was put into my hand. I looked down and saw an envelope with my name written on the front in Mother's meticulous writing. Only this time, it wasn't as perfect as usual. It looked like her hand was shaking while she wrote it.

"Excuse me?" I finally said, looking up at Mr. Werther. I glanced to Elizabeth and Aunt Edith beside me. They were surprised as well, I could tell. But not as surprised as me it seemed.

"She wants you to have Gramercy," Aunt Edith said.

I shook my head. "No, no, that can't be right. It's supposed to go to Elizabeth! The head of the Holland family is supposed to live here. That's not me, that's Elizabeth!"

"Teddy and I have our own home already, Diana," Elizabeth leaned forward and said. "We don't need Gramercy."

I knew then why they weren't as surprised. They already knew this was going to happen. Mother probably told them.

"Perhaps she wrote something in that letter," said Aunt Edith.

I looked at the envelope in my hands again. It felt so foreign in my hand. But a voice in my mind told me that Aunt Edith was right. Everything Mother did always served a purpose; there must have been a reason she gave me the house.

Mr. Werther cleared his throat. "There are a few, uh, stipulations that Mrs. Holland requires of you, Miss. She asks that you allow your father's sister to remain a resident for as long as she wishes to live here. She also asks that the home retains its original integrity – meaning she does not want any unnecessary alterations to the home."

I nodded along to everything he said. I could hear Mother's voice saying the words almost exactly. It was no doubt these were her wishes.

"Will that be all?" Aunt Edith asked.

"Yes, I believe so. Should any of you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact my office."

We all stood, but I was still shaky on my legs. I gripped the edge of the desk to steady myself. Elizabeth and Aunt Edith walked the lawyer our of the library but I didn't follow. I looked at the envelope again in my hand.

So many times, I have been handed a letter with terrible, heart-wrenching news written inside. I was half afraid this would be the same thing. Though what the bad news could be, I didn't know. All I knew was that I was terrified of opening it.

But I knew if I didn't open it now, then I probably never would. So I sat in Father's chair and ripped open the sealed envelope.

Dear Diana,

If you are receiving this, it means I am no longer in this world. There are things I have wanted to say to you since you have left that I am afraid I will never get the chance to tell you in person, so that is why I write this letter.

I was diagnosed months ago with a terrible illness that I'm afraid has only worsened over time. It has been so terrible lately that I am unsure of how much longer I'll have left. So I wanted to say: I love you, dear daughter. Though we have had difficult times, I do truly love you. You remind me so much of your father sometimes; perhaps that is why I have been so tough on you. I miss him every day and seeing how rambunctious and stubborn you only make me miss him more.

I know you are far away and may not be able to attend a funeral. That is alright. I forgive you. I understand just how suffocating this city can be, so I comment you on your individuality. You are achieving things I could never dream of. I don't know if you'll ever return back to New York or Gramercy, but I'm leaving 17 Gramercy to you in my last will. For the longest time, it was stated to go to Elizabeth but she doesn't need it – she has a home of her own. But it occurred to me that if you did ever return, you wouldn't. At least, not a place you would feel was your own. So that is why I am giving 17 Gramercy to you. I don't want you to feel pressured into coming back just to move in unless you truly want to. It is merely there only if you ever find yourself coming back to New York, or even if you feel homesick. It is yours.

I am not so naïve that I don't know why you left New York to begin with. Like I said, I know firsthand just how suffocating this city can be. Just don't waste your life, Diana. You are mot free than any of us here. I know what cost that freedom came at. I only hope that it is worth that cost. Henry Schoonmaker – though I doubt I really need to say his last name – still asks of you. I know he loves you, perhaps even more fiercely than your father loved me. And, if I know you at all, I know you still love him. Though I thought I could never fully accept the love between you two, given the circumstances, I now know that a love like that is meant to be cherished. God created this love, and I will just have to believe it is for a purpose. Find a way back to him and I know you will not regret it. There will be immense obstacles but, again, if I know you at all, I know you thrive when an obstacle is placed in front of you. Do not stray the course – never forget what your end goal is. Don't let her beat you down. I know you can win. You will win.

Until we meet again, my sweet daughter.

Your mother,

Louisa Holland

PS. The library is all yours now. Your father would have wanted it that way.

I let my hand holding the letter fall into my lap. Tears dripped off my chin and fell quietly onto my skirt and the letter, streaking a few of the words. I could hear her voice in my head as I read the letter.

She didn't want 17 Gramercy to force me back but instead made it a safe haven if I ever come back. And I did come back. I came home.

And now I knew she also wanted Henry and me to rekindle, as did Elizabeth. I almost laughed out loud then. Life sure liked playing cruel jokes. If only it were this easy seven years ago before everything got fuddled up by Penelope and my own selfish fear.

I was left in that library for quite some time before anyone came in. It was Ethel who cleared her throat to announce her presence.

"Miss Diana, lunch is being served."

I swallowed the lump in my throat that had only grown bigger since reading that letter. I folded the envelope neatly into my pocket, beside Henry's note, and stood.

"Yes," I said, "I'll be right there."

I kept my back turned to her. I heard her footsteps retreat from the room and only then did I wipe my cheeks. I was now the head of this home, which therefore meant Ethel worked for me now. I had to appear strong to everyone, even if it was all a lie.

Once I had regained enough composure, I exited the library and turned toward the kitchen. Elizabeth and Aunt Edith were already sitting at the table sipping the soup they were each served.

Elizabeth looked at me with eyes that seemed to ask, "Are you alright?"

I gave a small nod and sat at the table. A bowl was placed in front of me and filled with the same soup.

"Teddy is only a call away if you need help with any finances, regarding the house," Elizabeth said.

I sighed. "Yes, thank you." We were all awkwardly silent for a long time while we ate our soup. "It's all just a bit much, don't you think?"

I saw Elizabeth shrug. "Well, I expect she explained herself in the letter, did she not?"

"Well, that and… more," I replied sheepishly. I could still feel the folded envelope, ironically beside Henry's note in my pocket.

"More?" asked Aunt Edith.

I could feel my face blush. Should I tell them now about Henry and me? I still wanted to wait for the ring to make it official. Then again, if he didn't have the ring anymore for whatever reason, we could always opt to buy one in Europe. Or perhaps elope on the spot. So really, there might not even be a true ring to show them.

"Well–" I began but was cut off my Ethel.

"Miss Diana, you have a visitor," she said.

I turned to her. "Can't it wait? We're having lunch."

"That's what I told her, but she says it is absolutely urgent."

I knew it wasn't Henry. Otherwise, Ethel would be blushing and flustered. But now that she said the visitor was female, it piqued my interest.

It must be Lina, I thought, getting up from my chair and away from my soup.

I knew Grayson would propose, but so soon? As I walked to the parlor, I practiced my surprise face for when she showed me the ring. I had to pretend I'd had no idea about the proposal.

But when I walked into the room, it was a whole other kind of a surprise when I saw who was sat on the chair in the corner.

"Oh, Diana," Penelope said, "it is so nice to see you again."