Hello! I'm back! Sorry for the delay, My thumb decided that it wanted to feel like a carrot and get sliced. But I am stitch free and able to type now that my appendages are all properly attached.
On another note, this chapter was really hard for me to write, so I apologize for the choppy nature of it.
This chapter would suck without GracelessGlory. Read her stuff she rocks her metaphorical socks.
I own nothing except Hermione's depression. The rest belongs to the wonderful Ms. Rowling.
With a heavy sigh, Hermione looked her friend in the eye. She tried to find better words to describe what she was feeling yet all that came out were "It's complicated. Even I can't seem to describe it to myself." She knew that Ginny would not understand why the events in Hermione's life were affecting her so. She lived a seemingly perfect life. She had the job that she had dreamed of before the war, she had a husband that loved her, friends that cared about her, and outwardly didn't seem to want for anything at all. Yet day after day, Month after month, Hermione found herself falling further and further into a black hole. While typically being skilled at hiding her emotion from those around her, the past few weeks had put a strain on her mental state. She knew Ginny would want an explanation, and Hermione didn't think that she could give her one that would satiate her friends need for more information. Instead, she opted to change the subject.
"You came in to talk to me about something, Ginny? I really do have a mountain of work to do." She hated that she was so short with her friend but she just was not in the mood to talk about her mental state now. Ginny put her hands on her slender hips and dug further. "Nuh uh Hermione. There is more to this than 'It's Complicated' I expect a full answer. My news will keep until I know you are well. So, spill the beans, so to speak." Hermione sighed, placing her head in her hands. She should have known that her redheaded friend would not take such a blasé answer. She decided that honesty would get her farther with Ginny and closer to being alone. "Ginny, I really just don't want to talk about it right now. I promise you that I will, and soon, but as for now I just can't." Hermione felt defeated in this moment. Almost hollow, as if nothing else mattered. She felt her eyes prickling with tears and knew that if she didn't find solitude soon she would burst. Ginny put her hand on Hermione's shoulder "Fine, lunch then? At the sandwich shop down the lane from the visitor's entrance to the Ministry?" Ginny added quietly. Hermione mumbled a faint "Yes, alright," and Ginny left her with a worried smile.
As soon as Hermione heard the latch on the door she cast a quick yet efficient silencing charm as well as a charm to lock the door. As soon as she knew that it was safe to do so, she allowed the tears that had been threatening to spill over since this morning to fall freely. Those few tears quickly developed into weeping and Hermione felt as if she would never be able to stop. She felt hopeless, childish even. For letting something so small and seemingly insignificant affect her. She took a deep shuttering breath, wiped her face with a tissue, and decided to start on the pile of paperwork that she had been trying to avoid when Ginny joined her. She felt that if she could get lost in her work she may be able to forget momentarily how she was feeling now.
Time seemed to stand still to Hermione. She worked her way through application after application, form after form, until she could feel her stomach knotting with what could be either hunger or anxiety about her lunch with her red headed friend. With how she had been feeling lately she gathered that it was the later of those two that left her feeling ill.
At noon Hermione heard the soft rapping on her office door that signified that Ginny was waiting for their lunch and for more information as to Hermione's mental state. Hermione rubbed her eyes and stood, thinking to herself, "Here goes nothing," as she grabbed her pocketbook.
Ginny placed her menu down on the table and gave her friend an examining stare. Hermione could feel her eyes boring into her and avoided the gaze even still. They had been sitting at the table in silence and Ginny knew that Hermione was avoiding eye contact. It was she who broke their silence. "Hermione, look at me. I know something is wrong, we all do. Whatever is the matter with you? You've been like this before but never for this long. I'm worried about you." Hermione stared at her blankly. "Now or never," she thought. She knew her voice was going to tremble as she could feel the knot in the pit of her stomach, anxiety building. "Ginny is your best friend, you can tell her." She felt as though forming words was impossible, she swallowed. With a flourish of her hands, she weakly smiled at Ginny, "It's nothing really. I am probably over reacting." It was with that that Hermione felt the tears at her eyes again. She sighed "I'm lying you know, it isn't really nothing. I am feeling quite hopeless. Like my life is all wrong." Ginny stared wide-eyed, speechless she grabbed Hermione's hand and squeezed. "I know exactly how you feel."