Chapter 12

Disclaimer: don't own it. Let's give a big round of applause to Vswimming12 for beta'n this chapter.

Today was the day to embarrass, annoy, get revenge and drive Snape crazy for the horrid prank he and Draco played on me. Revenge will be sweet. And all the sweeter thanks to Remus and Sirius for supplying me with the goods. Cue evil grin.

Hehe. I packed my bag and headed up to breakfast with Draco. The boys immediately noticed my cheery mood, but decided not to comment on it. I smiled and continued to sip my earl grey tea and nibble on my toast, as the boys inhaled their food.

Earlier this morning, I had snuck down to the kitchen to get 36 cucumbers to help with my little experiment. Everything that I needed was sitting in my bag under the table.

When the boys and Ginny had finished shoveling food down, we got up and headed to our first class of the day. Double potions.

We filed in and awaited Snape's arrival. The classroom door crashed open and closed, announcing Snape's arrival. He billowed up to his desk and flicked his wand. Writing appeared on the blackboard.

"I want a sample of this potion from each of you by the end of the lesson. Begin!" said Snape.

We were to brew veritaserum truth potion. I had already brewed it before, so it would be perfect for to pull off the prank and have my potion done in time. What fun!

Class began as normal. Everyone attending to their potions in silence. All that could be heard was the simmering of cauldrons.

Twenty minutes had passed and I was halfway through with my potion. I decided to start handing out the boxes of condoms, seeing as how the potion had to simmer for the next ten minutes.

"Pst….Pst Harry." I whispered. "Have a box for you." I said.

"Pst Pansy. I have a present for you." I whispered as I passed over the box to her.

"Hey Blaze, I think you'll need these for later." I said in my normal voice. As I passed the box to Blaze, Snape swooped down.

"What do you think you are doing, Miss Granger?" said Snape in a cold voice.

"Well sir! I just wanted everyone to be safe rather than sorry." I said.

"Well Miss Granger, I do hope you have one for everyone, otherwise it will be ten points from Gryffindor." he said with a smug sneer.

"Ok." I said. I retrieved my bag from under the desk and started to hand out the boxes to everyone in the class.

"Don't worry my friends," I said "I have one for everyone in the audience." "Miss Granger. What the hell do you think your doing?" yelled Snape.

"Giving out a box of condoms to everyone." I replied with an, I'm so innocent look on my face.

"This is a potion's class not health class. Get rid of those things at once" said Snape.

"Sir", said Pansy, "What are CONDOMS?"

Judging by Snape's face, he knew exactly what they were and what they were used for.

"I have no "but before he could finish Draco had emptied his box out and was blowing the condoms up. "Ummm this one tastes like strawberrys." he commented.

All the muggleborns promptly fell around the class laughing, as he went in for a lick and suck at it. The purebloods didn't understand and very few half bloods did either.

Snape stormed over to Draco and told him to take the condom out of his mouth. "Why? There just balloons." he said.

This caused another round of laughter.

"Erm Draco, there actually a form of muggle contraception." I said.

"It's for the males." I explained.

"What does she mean for the males? Professor?" asked Draco.

Snape turned round and headed for his desk. He sat down and placed his head in his arms.

He looked like he was convulsing. I thought he was having a fit. "Sir are you alright." I asked as I got up from my seat.

I headed up to Snape's desk. "Sir?" I asked. Praying to god I hadn't just given my teacher a mental breakdown so soon. I mean come on; I still have 11 more pranks to complete.

I placed my hand on his shoulder, only to jump back when he raised his face from his hands. He was laughing. Severus Snape, Greasy Git of the dungeons, the Bat, the Bastard extraordinaire was laughing.

He was watching Draco as he sucked on the fruity flavored condom and was laughing.

Seeing as he was in such a good mood I decided to take it up a notch. I handed Snape a box of condom and said, "I wouldn't want you to feel left out. After all you did say I had to have one for everyone." And with that I returned to my seat and potion.

By this stage, nearly the whole class had followed Draco example and were sucking on the condoms. Harry, Ron, Ginny, Neville, Luna and I were the only ones not.

Finally, Snape seemed to have calmed down. Although, if he looked at any student, he would break down again.

I was now three quarters of the way through my potion and just about to add the billywig wings when Snape spoke.

"All of you who have those things in their mouths may wish to know what you are chewing at. Miss Granger, please enlighten the class as to what they are for."

"Certainly sir. May I demonstrate?" I asked.

"WH WHAT?" said Snape. "That would be most inappropriate."

"No sir. I mean with these. I have enough for everyone, so they can practice a life skill as well."

I proceeded to hand out a cucumber to each student and one to Professor Snape. "Now sir I believe your familiar with this, more so than me, so you should demonstrate and I'll lecture." I said as I turned back to the class.

"Now wait just one moment Miss " Snape started but I ignored him and continued on.

"Now class. Each of you already has a condom. So I would ask you to watch Professor Snape and copy him. I'll walk you through it." "Open the packet as Professor Snape is Professor please show them." He grunted and did so. He was slightly pink around the ears.

"Now pinch the tip and roll it down over the cucumber, like Professor Snape is doing. And there you have it. That it was goes on the male."

Professor Snape dropped the cucumber on his desk and sat down. All at once there was retching and gagging as the people who had, had the condoms in theirs mouths realized what they were for and where they went.

It was hilarious. Draco went red, then green, then red again. Tears were rolling down my eyes, I was laughing so hard. God, I could relieve that moment again and again.

Oh wait, I can. I secretly taped it for Remus and Sirius. Muhaha!

Class was almost over. I bottled my potion and brought it up to Snape's desk. His eyes were shooting daggers at me the whole time.

The cucumber from the demonstration was a black char mark on the desk.

Thankfully the bell rang before he could give me a detention and I ran for it.

Completely forgetting that I had already received detention and that it was tonight.