A/N: Only one chapter in a month? Sorry guys, I can't believe it took me so long to update. Each chapter gets harder to write somehow. I also got distracted with my birthday, and a vacation, and then obsessively watching Comic Con panels (on youtube, of course) - all combined with no motivation to write. I was basically just an unproductive mess. I also think I can tell you all that I finally joined tumblr like six weeks ago, and then you'll be able to fully understand my struggle. Thanks to everyone who still has an interest in this story, and I hope this was worth the wait.

One last time. That was how Stiles thought of every moment he watched a nurse prep her to be released. When the nurse put a hat on her head, he wondered if it would be the last time he'd see her cute, funny hair. When she was wrapped up in a blanket and started to cry from being woken up, the nurse put a round pacifier in her mouth and she immediately stopped. Would that be the last time he ever heard her cry? And when the nurse put her in his arms, he wondered if it would be the last time he ever held her.

Stiles, the Sheriff, and Melissa walked out of the nursery together. Lydia and Scott went over to join them, and they all huddled around Stiles and the baby. Nobody said anything for a while; they simply watched the baby girl through teary eyes as she slept peacefully.

It was the Sheriff who finally spoke, his voice gruff. "We should go, Stiles."

"I need a minute." He turned to Scott and Lydia. "Will you stay with me?"

They both nodded in agreement. The Sheriff looked between the three of them and sighed. "Sure, I'll go on ahead. Try not to be too long." Stiles nodded, and the Sheriff tried his best to give his son what he hoped was a reassuring smile before leaving with Melissa.

Once they were gone, Scott said, "Stiles, are you sure you want to do this?"

"If you aren't sure, it's okay," Lydia said. "We can figure something out. You don't have to let her go today if you aren't ready."

She was outwardly crying by then, constantly dabbing at her eyes and sniffling. Scott was visibly upset as well, the muscles in his uneven jaw repeatedly clenching and unclenching. As much as Stiles hated seeing his friends so upset, this was bigger than them. He had to do what he thought was best for her, no matter how much it hurt. She deserved better than what he could give her.

"I'm sure. Let's go."

Scott and Lydia flanked him on either side as they walked down the hospital halls together. Stiles was surprised by his resolve, only to be twice as surprised when only halfway to their destination, his anxiety returned with a vengeance. One moment he was walking along fine and in the next the weight of it all finally seemed to hit him, almost causing him to double over. It felt as if he'd been punched in the gut.

"Stop. Guys . . . stop."

Lydia asked, "What's wrong?"

"I just, uh . . ." He was losing it, plain and simple. He took a step back, then another, but Scott put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Wrong way, dude."

Stiles laughed, but it was a strangled, nervous sound. "Yeah, I'm aware. I guess it's all just really starting to hit me, you know?"

Lydia bit her lip. She hated keeping things from him, but his father thought it was best not to tell him what they'd been up to. The Sheriff wanted Stiles to make the decision for himself, to not let outside factors persuade him into doing something he didn't want to do. Personally, Lydia thought it could only help him, but she did as she was asked.

Scott had no secrets, so he simply offered to do what he did best. Help. "What do I do?"

"Honestly? You might have to physically make me keep going."

If Scott thought it was a strange request, he didn't show it. He'd certainly gotten stranger ones from his best friend. "Okay."

Scott's hand never left his shoulder. There were moments where Stiles would suddenly stop, nearly sending Scott crashing into him and causing Lydia to double back, but they never complained. Scott would give him a moment or two to catch his breath before nudging him along again.

For Stiles, the floor seemed like quicksand. Every step felt as if he was sinking deeper, to the point where he was literally dragging his feet. He knew he was going at a ridiculously slow pace, but he couldn't help it. He was still moving forward though, and that was all that mattered.

When they turned a corner, they were about 100 feet from the front desk, and Stiles saw a woman standing there with his father. She didn't appear to be particularly intimidating, but the Sheriff's expression was grave. Stiles had to stop again. He looked down at the baby, and he reacted just as he had the first time he'd looked at her. His eyes were so thick with tears that he could hardly see her. All of his usual panic attack symptoms were there too. Stiles could feel it all culminating inside him to finally bring him to the moment he'd been trying to repress for days.

"Lydia?" he said, his voice shaking as he looked over at her. No matter how hard he fought them, the tears finally came. "I'm there."

She only nodded and put her head on his shoulder, her own tears wetting his shirt. Scott didn't know what that meant, but he was able to get the gist. He put an arm around them both and made eye contact with the Sheriff, who had just noticed their arrival.

The Sheriff excused himself and went over to join the three huddled teenagers. He reached out to his son, who he could feel shaking beneath his hand. "You okay, kid?"

"No. Definitely not okay."

"Stiles, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"But this isn't really about what I want, you know?" he said, dragging his sleeve across his eyes. He let out a long, steadying breath and with new determination he stepped forward, surprising the others. He didn't know how he was going to get through it, but he knew he had to. Soon they were all standing in front of the woman who was there to take the baby away. He knew he shouldn't think of her that way, especially since it had been his decision to go through with it in the first place, but he couldn't help it.

The woman smiled and put out her hand. "Hi, I'm Paula from Child Protective Services. And you must be the father."

Stiles hesitated, partly because the word father still seemed so surreal to him, and partly because he wasn't sure he wanted to shake her hand, but he did anyway. "Yeah, but I generally go by Stiles."

"Well Stiles, your dad was just telling me a bit about you and your situation. From what I've learned you seem like a fine young man. In my thirteen years doing this, I've never witnessed something quite like this before. I just want to thank you for getting her to the hospital. It's rarely ever the fathers who do it, and they never stick around for two whole days. You're certainly unique."

Stiles wasn't accustomed to this very formal style of flattery, and he hardly felt deserving of it, so he just nodded. He wasn't sure he could speak anyway, considering his throat felt like it was closing up. He knew he was finally at that moment where he had to give her up, and he just wanted it to be over.

She continued, "Your dad also explained the situation with the baby's mother. I hope she returns soon and you can figure this out together. According to the law, you have twelve more days to change your mind. After that it gets a bit more difficult."

Again, he said nothing. He already knew the law, but coming from her it sounded so official, so final. The Sheriff, Scott, and Lydia exchanged looks. They were never more worried about Stiles than when he didn't speak.

"Well, I suppose this is where I take her now. Are you ready?"

Before he could respond, Paula was already reaching for her. Stiles's whole body was shaking so much that the baby started to cry. The pacifier fell from her mouth and onto her chest. Stiles instinctively grabbed for it and put it back in her mouth, holding it in place for her. She stopped crying, but instead of falling back asleep, she stared right up at him. It wasn't until that moment that he realized he'd taken several steps back.

"Maybe you need another moment?" Paula suggested. "To say goodbye?"

"No, I –" he started, but he became too choked up to finish. He wanted to say that if he took a moment to say goodbye then he might not ever be able to let her go. "Let's do this."

Paula slowly stepped forward to bridge the gap he'd created between them. Stiles never looked at her, deciding to keep his eyes on the baby instead. She put a hand on the baby's chest first, and as her other hand brushed his arm to support the baby's head, one loud thought flashed through Stiles's mind. What am I doing? What the fuck am I doing?!

"Wait!" he cried. Feeling the baby being taken from him was unbearable, and the fact that she was looking up at him the entire time made it even worse. "I – I can't do it. Don't take her."

The words had burst so suddenly from his mouth that they took him by surprise. He looked over at the others to see their reactions. Lydia's mouth had dropped open in surprise, her eyes wide. Scott was all smiles, and the Sheriff simply nodded, like he'd expected nothing else.

"Are you sure?" Paula asked. She stopped trying to lift the baby, but her hands stayed where they were.

"Not really. But I do know that I don't want you to take her anyway."

"Okay." She backed away but didn't leave. Instead, she watched his family cluster around him.

Stiles was shaking uncontrollably again, but this time it was mostly from shock. He knew he was in way over his head, but he didn't regret it. He wondered if he'd been slowly losing his mind the past two days, only to just come to his senses. To think he'd actually be capable of handing her off like that was now so ridiculous to him.

"I need to sit. Like right now."

His movements were jerky, and he practically collapsed into the nearest chair. Scott and Lydia sat on either side of him, and his dad crouched in front. They all watched the baby as she sucked on her pacifier, her eyelids getting heavy. An intense feeling of relief washed over Stiles then, brought on by the fact that he knew he didn't have to say goodbye, not yet. He hadn't even realized he was crying again until he noticed his tears falling onto the baby's blanket.

"God, look at me," his said, voice quivering yet slightly amused. "I'm crying all over my baby."

The others smiled, exchanging significant looks. He'd said my baby. It was the first time he'd ever really referred to her that way, as belonging to him. It may not seem like much, but to them it was just another thing that proved how much he'd grown to care for her.

"Is this crazy?" he asked his dad. "Am I crazy for doing this?"

"No," the Sheriff assured him. He put his hands on Stiles's arms in an attempt to steady him. The poor kid was still shaking. "We'll figure it out."

"But babies need things, right? I don't even know what kinds of things, but I know they need a lot of stuff. Stuff we definitely don't have –"

"Stiles, we'll figure it out."

When his father said something with such conviction, he couldn't help but trust him, no matter how unrealistic it seemed. Sure, they didn't have a crib or diapers or clothes for her, but if his dad said they'd figure it out, then they'd figure it out. They'd all been through much more difficult situations before. Surely they could figure this out too.

"Okay." Stiles looked up to see Paula approaching them, and his arms tightened around the baby, as if he actually expected the woman to come over and snatch her away from him. "We can bring her home, right? She doesn't belong to CPS yet, does she?"

The Sheriff opened his mouth to speak, but it was Paula who answered. "Considering I haven't signed any of the paperwork yet, she hasn't been released to me. She's still the hospital's patient, and they have right to release her to her parent."

"So we're really doing this?" he asked his dad. "We're really taking her home."

"If that's what you want to do."

He hesitated, but only for a moment. Now that he'd decided to bring her home, he couldn't imagine changing his mind. "I do."

"I guess we'd better get started on those forms then." The Sheriff escorted Paula to the exit, shaking her hand in goodbye before going to the front desk, where he was given a stack of papers and a pen. With a heavy sigh, he sat beside Scott and started filling out the papers.

Scott patted Stiles on the back. "I knew you'd come through, buddy."

"Yeah, right."

"I did! Sure, it took longer than I expected, but I knew you'd change your mind."

Stiles rolled his eyes and then looked over at Lydia. "And you? Did you have some divine feeling about me?"

"Not really." Her smile was tight. "Towards the end, I was scared that you were really going to go through with it."

"Right." He looked at the baby, suddenly feeling too guilty to look his two best friends in the face. "So you both thought I was making this huge mistake, and you were just going to step back and let me do it?"

"It's not that we thought you were making a mistake," Lydia said. Scott seemed as if he might want to disagree, but she gave him a look and kept going. "If I'd seen that you felt indifferent about her, that you wanted nothing to do with her, then I would've thought giving her up was the right thing to do. But Stiles, you're so good with her. You've been here at the hospital with her for the past two days. I was upset because I knew you wanted to keep her, and the only reason you weren't was because you were too scared."

"I'm still scared, Lydia. Terrified even."

"Of course you are. You'd have to be an idiot not to be."

He laughed, already feeling lighter in that moment than he'd felt in the past two days. But as he looked at the happy expressions on his friends' faces, he was suddenly overwhelmed with guilt again. He had to tell them, to explain that –

"You've got some things to sign," the Sheriff said, getting up from his seat to stand before Stiles. He set a clipboard on Stiles's knee and handed him a pen.

Stiles swallowed, procrastinating by twirling the pen in his fingers. This was just another step, another small milestone that would get them closer to bringing her home. He looked down at the baby as she shifted in her blanket. It seemed as if she might start crying again, but instead she fell back asleep. Then Stiles looked around at those hopeful faces in front of him, and he knew he had to make himself clear.

"You guys get that I haven't definitely decided to keep her, right? I only decided against going through with the whole Safe Haven thing. I wanted to give Malia more time to come back without that deadline hanging over us. I want us to decide together, and I really don't know what we're gonna decide to do . . ."

The Sheriff didn't look all that surprised, nor did Lydia, but Scott was a little taken aback. Even so, none of them tried to argue with him. They just nodded their heads and watched as he signed the papers.

Once all of the forms were filled out and everything was in order, they were allowed to leave the hospital. Melissa returned to see them off. No matter how much he pleaded, she insisted that Stiles had to be wheeled out in a wheelchair with the baby, as it was hospital policy. He felt ridiculous sitting in that wheelchair when he didn't actually need it.

When he and the baby were settled in the wheelchair, Scott took a picture of them with his phone. He laughed at Stiles's annoyed expression, but then he grew serious. "I'm going to get back out there and keep looking for Malia. We'll keep looking until we find her, no matter how long it takes."

"I know, buddy."

Scott bent down to give him a quick hug, and then he was gone. Lydia took Scott's place beside him. "Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"

"Go home, Lydia. Get some sleep. Eat some actual food. My dad and I will be fine. Besides, Melissa's shift is almost over, and she said she'd come over for a while to help us out."

"That's good, but you should know, I'm going to stop by tomorrow. Probably more than once."

"I'd expect nothing less."

She smiled at that. Then she reached out to touch the sleeping baby. "Goodnight, Baby Girl Stilinski. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Not long after Lydia left, Melissa returned with a large bag completely filled with baby stuff. "We're allowed to give samples out to some of the patients. This should last her a couple of days at least. There are some premie-sized diapers, wipes, a couple of bottles, some formula, an extra pacifier –"

"Wow, Melissa, thank you, really," the Sheriff said, taking the bag from her. "This will be a big help."

"You're welcome. Now," she said, taking hold of the wheelchair's handles, "Let's get her home."

She pushed them toward the exit, where several people with minor injuries blatantly stared at the odd visual of a seemingly healthy teenage boy being wheeled out of the hospital with a newborn baby in his arms. He was happy when they reached the parking lot and Melissa stopped to let him walk the rest of the way.

"Thanks for the ride."

"Sure. I'll see both in about an hour." She paused. "You don't have a car seat, do you?"

The Sheriff looked a little embarrassed. "No. I'll make sure to get one, but I figured Stiles could just hold her again. I'll drive 10 mph the whole way home."

"And he will."

"Just be careful," Melissa said, waving goodbye.

The car ride home wasn't much different from the one they had to the hospital just two days before. For a long time the only sound in the car was the baby's soft breathing. The hospital deemed her apnea to be very mild and released her without a monitor, which made Stiles even more nervous. In general he preferred noise to block out his thoughts, but in this instance he liked the quiet. He wanted to be able to hear her every breath and be able to focus on the rise and fall of her chest beneath his hand.

It was the Sheriff who broke the silence again. "I wanted to talk to you about this whole adoption thing."

"Dad, do we really have to –"

"I don't want to get into the whole big discussion yet. I just want to say that I think you did the right thing. If you do decide to give her up, at least she won't start out in a foster home, you know? She'll have parents right from the start, and maybe you can even meet them. You can do the open adoption thing, where they send you updates and pictures, if you wanted to. And if you ever wanted to meet each other again some day . . . then it would be a lot easier to make that happen. None of that would be possible if she were a Safe Haven baby."

"Yeah, I'm glad I didn't go through with it too," he said, watching his father closely. He didn't feel his father was advocating adoption as much as he was telling Stiles, in more words than needed, that he would still support him no matter his decision. Stiles felt especially close to him in that moment, and he wondered if he'd ever be half as good a dad as his was to him.

When they drove up to the house, Stiles couldn't help but look for Malia. He'd secretly been hoping she'd be waiting there by the front door for them, even played the scenario over and over again in his mind, but she wasn't there. He hadn't really been expecting her to be, and yet he was still disappointed.

Once the Sheriff unlocked the front door and turned on a light, they saw that their entryway and living room was so filled with baby items that they could hardly clear a path to walk through it. There was a bassinette, a baby lounger, diapers, bottles, clothes, and blankets too, among many other things.

Stiles's mouth hung open as he looked all around him. "Dad? What is all this?"

"Well, I thought there was a chance she might come home with us for a few days at least, so asked around at the station if anyone had some baby stuff we could borrow. Everyone was so willing to help. I had a couple of the new guys bring it all by, but I had no idea it would be this much."

"Dad, they're your deputies, not free labor. Nice thinking though." Stiles ran a hand over the blankets and onesies, some of which he noticed had price tags. "Hey, some of this stuff is new."

"That'll be Lydia."

"Lydia?"

"Yeah, she's the one who found a lot of this stuff second-hand. And whatever she couldn't find, I asked her to buy. She may have done her job a little too well, huh?"

He felt even worse for having been rude to her earlier. "So that's why she left the hospital."

They weaved their way through the clutter. Stiles held the baby close to his chest in case he tripped over something, which wasn't terribly unlikely. He was so overwhelmed by everyone's generosity, but then he spun around to face his father when a thought occurred to him.

"What if I hadn't brought her home? What if we'd shown up without her and all of this stuff was here?"

The Sheriff looked a bit sheepish. "I guess that could have been awkward."

"You think?"

"Look, I knew it was a risk, but I also know you. I could tell you didn't want to let her go. I just had a feeling that it work out."

"Well, you could have let me know!"

"You had to figure it out for yourself."

It took all of Stiles's effort not to grimace at his father, and in the end he failed anyway. "Ugh, I hate when parents say stuff like that."

"I did too, and then I became a parent and realized it wasn't complete bull."

"So you're saying I could be as annoying as you someday? Great. Something to look forward to."

"Hey, watch it," the Sheriff chuckled. "And give me that baby."

Stiles went over to him so he could take her. He watched his dad's face break into a smile as she settled in his arms. Not for the first time, he worried about how attached everyone was getting to her. He hated knowing he'd be the one break everyone's hearts when the time came to let her go. If he decided to let her go . . .

"So Dad, what do we do now?"

They looked around at all the clutter, both feeling slightly overwhelmed. The house was eerily quiet. There were no nurses or doctors, no Scott or Lydia. It was just the two of them and a tiny baby who was depending on them.

"Now that she's home, let's get her settled in."

A/N: I know many of you have been asking for Malia. I'm actually at the point where I'm ready for her to show up too. All I'll say on the matter is - SOON. Also, I just finished writing this and proofread it kind of fast. I'm not really sure how I feel about it, but I really wanted to get a new chapter up. I'm sorry if there are a lot of mistakes. Thanks for reading!