This chapter is a little long, and for those of you who left suggestions and requests in the reviews, keep an eye out! The rest of you, watch and learn.

BAILEY'S POV

She pounces on Callie the moment she bangs out of the door of trauma one.

"What happened?"

" I need a. ... a hammer, and -"

" "Did she tell you anything?"

" Hammer...wait, what?"

" You deaf , Callie Torres? I asked if she told you anything."

Callie looks down at the bristly little resident who next to her is the only person looking out for Addison , not blinded by Derek's McDreamy persona.

" You're thinking what I'm thinking."

" I dunno what you're thinking exactly, but I think I think what you're thinking. "

"Uh...I'll take that as a yes. But unless Addie chooses to press charges herself, there's nothing we can do."

" I'll take it she's not pressing charges."

" She wouldn't even tell me what happened until I threatened to call the cops on him."

"When I get my hands on him..."

"He didn't hit her." Callie blurts, worried that Bailey will get to Derek before she does, and she really needs to vent.

" She's saying he pushed her really hard, his ring caught her face and I think she's telling the truth, her injuries are consistent with her story."

" That woman has more medical certifications than names, and that's saying something. .. ... So why she so damn stubborn and blind when it comes to that no - good husband of hers? "

Callie sighs. "She loves him, Bailey, she loves him too much for her own good."

MEREDITH 'S POV

She leans against the nursing station, watches Derek run a hand down his wife's cheek - she's sleeping, they doped her up with morphine when the pain hit - and feels her gut twist.

She might be with Finn now, and he's perfect for her, really he is, but who is she kidding, she can't get her mind off Derek.

Pick me. Choose me . Love me.

He had his chance. He chose Addison.

She knows that he loved her, in a way ; he was damaged and hurting when he met her, he'd been betrayed by the woman he loved and the man who was like his brother, and so he loved her like a distraction, a pretty little anti - Addison to soothe his bruised ego.

The way he so obviously loves Addison is like breathing, he can't help it and it's constant, involuntary.

He can't stop, or he'll die.

" How is she?" Izzie asks , coming up to her. She and Addison have been together all day, she almost seems to have forgotten the quints incident.

" Oh, she's all right. Banged up, but she'll be back soon."

" Thank god." Izzie also seems to have forgotten that Addison is the reason her friend is dark and twisty again, that she's supposed to hate Addison on principle.

Everyone is moving on.

He never felt that way about me." she can't help but whisper.

" George did. "

By the time she tears her eyes away from the two behind the window, Izzie is already walking away.

" Izzie !"

She holds up her hand, shakes her head without looking back.

" Not now Meredith. "

IZZIE'S POV

She knows that was harsh, like kicking a dog when it's down, but she can't help it.

She watched George agonise over Meredith for the better part of a year , and when he finally spoke up she used him, broke his heart in the worst way possible and left him to bleed.

So if they're picking sides, she's on George's .

Right now she needs to find Alex, because if anyone else stood to gain from the Shepherd's marriage falling apart it was him.

He thinks he hid it so well , she thinks with a shake of her head, but she saw his little glances at Addison, how he listened to everything she made him do.

Mini - Sloan.

She knows that whatever they had is over now - for gods sake , she'd been having sex with Alex in linen closets and supply rooms for a week now - and the Shepherds are clearly back together, for better or for worse.

But he should know, so she needs to find him.

MARK'S POV

When Richard paged him , he'd just gotten home accompanied by his girl of the week, someone named Darcy , a social worker on one of his cases.

Pretty , chatty, dedicated to her work.

Red haired.

Sort of orange actually, but red if you don't look too carefully and anyway it'll be dark .

Sorry babe. " He groans, rolling off the couch and reaching for his shirt. " Gotta go."

" Can't someone else do it? " she pouts prettily.

" No, not this one. " he says, reading his pager.

He finds Derek slouched against the wall outside trauma one, and when he hears footsteps his head jerks up.

He doesn't bother asking what happened, because he has a pretty good idea.

Instead he barges into the room, finds Addison propped up in bed and looking like Frankenstein's bride.

She is , kind of.

He says as much , and is rewarded by a pillow to the face. "What happened , Red?"

"I fell on the edge of the deck, cut my head."

" Did you?" he asks, enveloping her hand in his.

"Yeah." she whispers.

" Red, I've known you for fifteen years, and you can't hide. You can't hide from me , and I've got an idea what happened tonight, so just tell me before I punch him like he did me when I first came here. Give me an excuse, Red, please ."

" Mark, I told him. About ...about the baby."

He grits his teeth, banishes unwanted

images from his head .

A Yankees onesie, a tiny baby with Addison's red hair and Addison's ocean eyes in his arms . His rings on her finger, coming home to her at night , her belly round and eyes glowing.

Dreams, gone as quickly as they came.

" And that gives him the right to do this ?" he gestures at her face and arm.

" He pushed me. I did the falling all by myself."

" Addie, look at me."

She does, crossing her eyes and sticking out her tongue.

"Sew up my face, Dr. Sloan."

And it's clear that this discussion is over, so he does.

He's used to this, putting her back together when Derek takes her apart, only this time it's literal.

DEREK'S POV

He should be in there with her, holding her hand, but he can't.

He doesn't trust himself to be near her, because the way he loves her just seems to be destroying her .

Mark is in there now, stitching up her face.

" I cleaned up your messes Derek. ..."

Not anymore.

He gets unsteadily to his feet, his head still swirling with fear, fuzzy with anger.

This anger is at himself, though, because no matter what Addison did, what he did back was so much worse.

"Shit, Derek, what happened? "

He could almost kill himself right now.

"Who called you?" he mumbles, looking anywhere but at his sister, standing there with one hand on her hip.

" Mark. "

" Of course ."

" Derek , spit it out. " she's practically in his face now, shaking him by the shoulders.

" What did you do?"

He looks at her with a lump in his throat and feels about ten again .

"Derek what happened, what happened to Dad are you okay Derek what happened"

and he can't get any words out , he just makes a strangled noise and lets his sister hold him.

" Derek is this anything like what happened the day Amy had her accident? Because if it is , I'll never let you near Addie again."

Amy bleeding and white on a stretcher, racing down a hospital corridor and Addison calling orders because he couldn't think around the roar of fear in his head, his prescription pad on her pocket, Addison trying to get him out of the way and before he knew it, the back of his hand against her face, nurses and doctors shocked silent.

" I...I pushed her and she fell." He croaks.

" Why? "

We were...talking. "

" And? "

" She...and and Mark , they..." He can't, won't say the rest of it.

She keeps his secrets, he'll keep hers.

ADDISON'S POV

She wakes up groggy and cotton mouthed in a hospital bed, her heartbeat blipping lazily across a screen above her head.

She feels oddly light and floaty.

Ah, morphine.

It's dark outside, rain splatters thickly against her window but inside it's warm and bright.

There's an IV in her hand - she looks up at the bag, sees they're only running fluids- and promptly disconnects it.

Derek is by the side of her bed and when she sees him, the monitor speeds up a bit, chaotic blips blurring one into the other.

The sound wakes him from whatever daydream he's been in, and he reaches for a cup of water, holds a straw to her lips so she can drink.

So we're not going to say anything?

Wordlessly she slides over to the opposite railing of the bed, pats the sheets next to her for him to come sit.

He shakes his head - he won't look at her, won't touch her.

"Derek, please."

I say that a lot , don't I?

"Addie, I ...I'm sorry. " He manages, addressing her toes. "What I did was disgusting. Unforgivable. I said I was going to stay, make it work, that this was my year to try, but I've done nothing but hurt you.

I don't ...I don't trust myself anymore, to be near you because - he swallows hard, knuckles white on the edge of her bed - "I love you, I love you so goddamn much I can't bear to think of you with someone else, I want you to be mine , and I know that's ridiculous after everything we've done to each other - "

" Stop. "

He looks at her finally, looks away again.

"When I was a resident, these women would come in, you know, pregnant and beaten half to death, and they went back to those same men every time, and I swore to myself I'd never be those women.

I know you're angry .I know you hate me for letting Mark give me what I wouldn't take from you. I know you're hurt and I also know that I love you, and I'll stay till the day you don't want me anymore.

But this can't happen again, Derek. Three strikes and you're out , starting with what happened when Amy had the accident ."

" Th...then I'm already out."

" I'm not counting tonight, because as sick as it sounds - I deserved it. I hurt you, I hurt Mark in ways that are so awful I can't believe I did them, and I ...I took an innocent life because I couldn't get my shit together long enough to tell what I wanted."

He can't believe her - she's always been self sacrificing but this is borderline pathological .

" Addie , the way I reacted tonight and the things I said and did- no one deserves that, no matter what they've done."

She looks up at him, eyes enormous with pain.

"Your morphine is wearing off, I'll -"

" No wait. We never finished talking - we'll never finish if I'm all doped up.

The whole point of talking was that we should know where we're coming from - and we talked, Derek, you know about me and Mark and I know everything about you and Meredith.

There aren't any secrets anymore Derek , it's all out there in the open.

So let's not make this the way we end, please Derek, because I could have taken it last year, but not now, not after everything we've been through trying to make it work. "

"But Addie, the things I said - "

" Forget it. Forget all of it, everything you said to me and I said to you, just...forget it , okay, and lets move on Derek; with the amount of baggage we have we're never getting anywhere. "

" Forget it."

"All of it."

"Like brand new?"

" Yeah." she says, and pulls his head down for a kiss. "Like brand new."

He sits on the edge of her bed, arms slide around her like it's the most natural thing in the world. "Just like before."

"Better than that." she breathes against his lips.

" Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery - Shepherd, - he can't help the grin - you are the most amazing woman I've ever met and I love you.

And from now on, you can count on me to be here.

Even if I yell. Even if you yell. I'll be here. "

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