Chapter 19 Part 2
Disclaimer: I don't own anything save for the plot. All things grammar and spelling related is all thanks to vswimming12. Xxx
It was a quarter to six when I headed up to meet up with Severus in Remus' sitting room. Severus was already there, Harry's invisibility cloak lying against the back of the sofa.
"You ready?" asked Severus. I nodded and kissed his cheek. I went into the bathroom to strip down, wrapped the sheet securely around myself and exited.
"You look to fresh. Here." said Severus as he swished his wand around my person. "Perfect. All morning glory." He laughed. I reached up and felt my hair. It was wild and mussed. My lips felt swollen and love bites appeared on my neck and arms. I growled at Severus as he laughed.
I got into Remus' bed and draped his arms over me. One hand resting on my waist and the other on my breast. I gasped when he squeezed it and locked eyes with Severus. He threw the cloak on and reversed the wards.
I closed my eyes and relaxed. A few minutes later Remus began to stir, only to still instantly when he saw who was in bed with him. "Oh, God." I heard him whisper, "What have I done?" I felt bad for him but he'd eventually forgive me after this was all over, right? Right?
Oh well, too late to turn back now. I groaned and fluttered my eyelids as if I'm just waking up, Remus inhales sharply as I stretch. I open my eyes and gasp. Remus' face was to close, way too close.
I move backwards up the bed away from him clutching the sheet to me.
"Go Hermione. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I was so drunk. God, I can't remember a thing." he said holding his face in his hands.
It was so hard not to laugh at him. "What do you mean you don't remember? You were all for it last night. Don't you dare say you were too drunk. You're the one who said to skip the contraception spell. That you wanted kids. That you loved me." by now I had hid my face in my hands. I was shaking from laughter but Remus' assumed it was sobs. I added a few sniffles for effect.
"What do you mean no contraceptive? Hermione please tell me you took a potion of something." he asked, desperation ringing in his voice.
"I didn't. You said you loved me and wanted my babies to be yours." I wailed.
"What? I was bloody drunk!" he yelled, which set me off wailing louder. Who said I wasn't a brilliant actress? I'm the best. I have Remus practically foaming at the mouth in fear.
"Go get Snape!" I cried, "He'll have a test or something to find out what you've done." and with that I stormed into the bathroom.
I grabbed a towel and stuffed it over my mouth to dampen the sound of my laughter. The look on Remus' face was priceless. He looked stricken; as if he was told he had two minutes to live or something.
A few minutes later a knock sounded on the bathroom door and Severus spoke. "Miss. Granger come out. I have a potion for you to determine if both you and Remus are as big a dunderheads as I believe you are. Remus, don't you even know a simple contraceptive spell? Honestly." said Severus.
I came out of the bathroom. Tears from my earlier laughing fit sliding down my cheeks. I took the potion and downed it in one.
"In a few seconds a mist will form in front of your stomach. If it turns blue your pregnant. If it turns white your not." he said as he took the empty vile from my hand.
We waited for about five minutes. The mist formed and it turned blue as Severus and I knew it would. Remus of course didn't and therefore fainted.
I stifled my renewed giggling fit while Severus placed Remus on the sofa. We didn't revive him, but instead left a note saying that I'd talk to him at dinner as Severus has taken me to the dungeons to give me a calming draught.
And so we proceeded to our next target of the morning. This day was shaping up nicely, if I do say so myself. Hehe!
We head up to breakfast, were a still very drunk Sirius was at the staff table. We parted ways at the entrance to the Great Hall.
Once everyone was settled, phase two of the prank was about to begin.
Severus stood up and walked to the other end of the table were Sirius and Remus sat. He cleared his throat loudly and pulled Sirius up, who swayed were he stood.
By now everyone one in the Great Hall was focused on Severus and Sirius.
Severus got down on one knee and said, "Sirius my love, my darling, I love you and I know you love me. Let's get married and make scruffy dog babies." And with that, drew out a ring from Merlin knew where and slide it onto Sirius' finger.
"I love you Sever hiccup us." and proceeded to try and snog Snape. Colin whipped out his camera like I instructed him to, and took a picture of a very drunk Sirius trying to snog Snape while he tried to push him off.
He managed to get the sober up potion down his throat before anymore damage was done.
Slowly, Sirius' face fell. He turned and retched several times. Took of the ring and flung it at a laughing Severus. He stamped his foot and said "You great greasy BAT!" and fled from the Hall.
The whole Hall burst out laughing. Many rolling on the floor, clutching their sides trying to breathe. I giggled and looked up to see a smiling Severus looking at me.
'Phase two complete,' he mouthed. I nodded and scanned the staff table for Remus. He looked lost and worried.
I decided to put him out of his misery, due to the fact that we had already taken it a bit far. I got up and headed to the staff table.
"Professor Lupin, may I have a word?" I asked. Remus nodded and half walked, half ran out of the room.
"It was a joke Remus. Just a prank. Relax. Severus wanted to get back at you and Sirius. Please don't be too mad at me." I said, giving my best puppy dog eyes impression.
"Oh thank god. I thought…I thought….oh well thank Merlin. Just promise me you'll never do anything like that again. That was too much. Funny, but too much." he said with a sigh of relief.
I smiled and nodded. Promising him, I'd never join forces with Severus again to prank him, ever.
Now to find Severus for phase three. Muhahahahahaa!
I found him, red faced in his office. It looked like he was choking.
"Sevy are you alright?" I asked as I stepped closer to his desk.
"Fine, Fine. And don't call me Sevy, I hate it." he said in between chuckles.
"Okay. Next phase is at lunch time just after Albus' speech. I've managed to convince Dobby the house elf to help. He agreed so long as he can clean your rooms for a week." I said. "Yes that's fine. I'll talk to Minerva at dinner and get her to agree to deliver Filch's potion to him." he said.
Thank god it was a Saturday. For the remainder of the time till dinner, I helped Severus brew potions for Madam Pomfrey stores and his own.
We worked well together. We seemed to read each other thoughts and have an ingredient ready and passing it over before the other could mention needing it.
Five minutes to dinner, we headed up to the Great Hall. Earlier that morning I had gotten Colin to agree to take photos of the staff table during dinner. Mainly focusing on Minerva, Severus, and Albus.
We took our separate places just as Albus got up to give his speech.
"Students and Staff, may I have your attention for a few moments. As the Yule tide is only a few days away, I believe we should celebrate it early by having a ball this Friday. I do hope that this will be enough notice for you lovely ladies out there. You have three days to shop and what not. Enjoy! Nut wit! Thank you." and with that said dinner appeared on everyone's plates, and a strangled girly scream came from the head master.
Everyone looked up to see the head master screaming like a girl, clutching his robes around and dancing about on the spot.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, It's alive! Ahhhhhhhhh!" he screamed as the, what was meant to be dead roast chicken, was a very alive hen that was clucking and pecking at his beard.
"Cluck, cluck, cluck." went the hen as it went in for another attack. Albus let out another wail and ran from the room, crying like a little girl all the way.
The whole Great Hall was in up roar. Students and staff alike where falling off chairs because they were laughing so hard.
All through dinner the laughter continued. Needless to say, the hen was caught and given to Hagrid as a pet, but alas Albus didn't return.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Severus give me the signal. I got up and headed to Filch's office under Harry's invisibility cloak. I arrived without incident. I left the note telling them they had to French kiss before the locking wards would dissipate. Left the office and waited for Minerva and Filch to arrive.
They arrived soon after I had finished the final warding on the room. All that had to be done was to lock it in place when they had both entered.
Severus had followed them and as soon as they where inside the office we shut the door, finalized the locking and left to inform Misty the house elf that if they were still there by 9 pm to set up a romantic dinner for two.
I giggled all the way back to our dungeon quarters.
"Would you like to come in for tea? We still have to arrange your detentions." Severus said.
I nodded and followed him in. Besides, the truce was over. Lets the games begin!