BURKE ' S POV
That's what it should look like.
He's standing outside Stevens' room, clapping with the rest of them, envying their unrestrained elation, the instant acceptance, both of them on the same page, not one forever chasing the other.
Not like us.
DEREK'S POV
He finds Addie in the crowd spying on Karev 's proposal, a little misty eyed but better than Richard ; he's practically got his nose pressed up against the glass and might actually be crying.
He peeks , watches Stevens blurt a tearful yes , and the corridor erupts in cheers.
He takes the chance to steal up behind Addison and wrap an arm round her waist. She sinks into him without having to see who it is and the scent of her hair brings back memories he hasn't thought of in a while.
" Remember when..." He whispers in her ear.
"Yeah. " she whispers back and he doesn't care if they look like a pair of teenagers, he kisses her on the cheek.
He remembers too - the day he knew he would marry her was the day they met in the library at Columbia.
The day he knew it was time was the week before med school graduation when she applied to Mt. Sinai because he did because he had to be near his family even though she could have gone to Hopkins.
He told his mother and asked Bizzy and the Captain, took Addie out to dinner the night before graduation, got down on one knee in the middle of Central Park that night because she always loved how quiet and mysterious it was there at night.
When he told her the ring was his father's, she cried with him and then kissed away his tears .
" Stevens is having a baby. "
"So I heard. "
" They're like we used to be , Derek. So full of... hope." she says and the way she says it, like she barely knows what it means anymore, is like a little stab in the chest.
You did this to her.
" We can still hope, right?; We're not ancient, we can still be parents. " he murmurs, and she turns around, mouth slightly open, eyes wide .
" I - "
But before she can say anything, a hailstorm of pagers goes off and all hell breaks loose, there are lives to save and once again their own are put on hold while they ensure that someone else's wife, husband, parent, child, will live another day.
There's been a tunnel collapse, the ER is chaotic , and in the mess of it all he doesn't see Addison again.
What was she going to say?
I...can't? I...want to? I. ...don't think so? I. ...think we should?
What does he want her to say?
He's always wanted children, when he met Addie he knew she was the one, the one he wanted to be his kids mother.
They used to joke, back in the early days when not having kids just yet was a mutual decision taken to focus on what has turned out to be two stellar careers , that their kids would be genetically programmed to be surgeons, they would have perfect hair, and there would be two, a boy first , and then a little girl to spoil rotten.
Secretly he'd wanted more, four maybe, but he knew Addison's job wasn't just something she did for herself, it was bigger than her, she held not just the lives of mothers and their unborn babies in her hands, she held the dreams of parents like themselves.
He couldn't take her away from that.
They used to joke, back when not just yet wasn't a barefaced lie covering the countless little heartbreaks that came like clockwork every month , never a day late.
And the one time it didn't happen, Addison waited for a week , hardly daring to breathe and then she took that test, the little blue plus sign that they had waited for so long popped up and for seven weeks exactly they walked on air, until she collapsed in that OR and they both came tumbling down.
He does a craniotomy, saves a life. He watches Addie save another from the gallery window, but by the time he gets down to the scrub room to talk to her he's too late ; Richard pulls her into another surgery on a three month old found in the rubble.
He tells Mrs . Brandon that her baby's surgery has to be postponed to tomorrow because Dr. Montgomery is in emergency surgery, takes it silently when she yells at him .
" We're important too!"
Aren't we? he thinks, and immediately hates himself for it - this is what they signed up for, this is what they do.
They save lives and loved ones, and don't notice when their own go missing in the process, until it might be too late.
He gets a text from Addie at three ; Go home. The tux is in your closet. Look nice, you're the best man. I'll be home by five to change.
No reply to what he's been waiting to know all day.
He goes home anyway because he stinks, and Momma would probably kill him, best man or not, if he showed up to Burke ' s wedding like this .
When he steps out of the shower, he finds a wet haired Addie burrowing in her closet , wearing his old college t shirt and quite possibly nothing else.
She must have showered in the other bathroom - it doesn't have hot water - so much for him not being the water hog.
" This one or this one? " she asks, holding up two alarmingly similar pale blue dresses.
" Uh...that one. " he points to the one on the right simply because the last time she asked him to choose between two, he'd chosen the one on the left .
"No , Derek, that one's all wrong, I'll wear this one. " .
Just like last time he chuckles to himself.
"Addie , what were you going to say, this morning - "
"Shoes? These all right? " a pair of matching pumps emerge.
" No, wear the black ones, the ones you bought the other day. I like those. "
" Derek those are sexy shoes, not wedding shoes. "
" Sex shoes ? " he perks up.
" Sexy . Dirty little pervert. "
Ouch.
" Uh, so what were you gonna say to me this morning, outside Stevens' room ?"
"Your hair . Fix it , you look like a caveman." she says, reaching for his tousled head .
He ducks, escapes to safety on the other side of the room. Those hands in his hair could make them very very late, and then Momma would kill him and he'd never get to hear her answer.
"Addie. Underwear. " he pleads. She's very distracting half naked.
" Of course. " she smirks.
Is she doing this on purpose ?
She slides into her dress too, and he feels a little sad at the loss of damp bare skin.
" Zip me up , will you ? "
He does, trailing his hand slowly from the small of her back to the nape of her neck, smiling at the little shiver he elicits.
Did she actually not hear me? Impossible. She has ears like a bat, of course she heard me.
"Addie - what were you going to say ? "
She's on the bed now, trying to yank nude pantyhose up her endless legs, a task made considerably more difficult because he keeps peeling them off, kissing her neck, trying to distract her.
Two can play this game, baby.
A - about what ? " she asks , just a bit breathless.
"What I said we could still be - "
" Parents? " she gasps; he's moved on to her collarbone now, going lower as she half heartedly tries to escape.
" Yes." he breathes against the hollow of her throat.
" You were serious? " she sounds astounded.
"Of course I was serious." he pulls away with a groan.
" I - I was giving you an easy out .I thought that it was the heat if the moment, Karev and Stevens, all of that. I thought you wouldn't want to try again, after ...you know . After everything.
So I was giving you an out, but Derek if you're serious - and you want to try again - then I'm in. I'm all in, this is something you have no idea how much I've been wanting to discuss with you, so if you're serious ... ask me again. "
He flips her so she's lying on her back, damp hair spread across the duvet and places both arms beside her shoulders.
"Addie. Will you have my babies ? " he asks, struggling to keep a straight face.
" Could you be less romantic." she giggles, the movement of her beneath him doing lateness - inducing things to his body.
Screw the time. We'll be fast.
Will you? " he asks teasingly, his hand at her back, undoing his earlier efforts with the zipper.
It's way more fun pulling it down.
" I can only hope they aren't as crass. " she whispers, responding to his touch.
" They're ? So there's more than one ?"
" Two, remember ? A boy and a girl . " she says , pulling her dress back onto her shoulders.
" Mm hmm. I remember. " he says, the dress coming down with ease after his lips find that spot on her neck that makes her go limp with desire .
" We'll be late for the wedding. " she pushes reluctantly at his bare chest.
" We can be fast. " he says in the voice he knows will send her over the edge, unhooking the ivory lace bra he'd so wished she'd put on earlier to stop distracting him.
" After all, we need to practice if we're going to have kids - practice makes perfect, you know."
He laughs because he can see the exact moment the "oh, fuck it " look comes into her eyes , darker than her usual color , tiny rims of green around pupils wide with need.
" We can be fast. " she says wickedly, straddling him and then her lips find his and the few remaining clothes are coming off, wedding forgotten as he sinks into her familiar warmth , brings her to the edge again and again before she arches her back and moves her hips in the way that never fails to undo him , brings them both to a climax that leaves them deliciously exhausted.
" That was some good practicing." she laughs throatily, breathing hard.
" It sure was. " he joins in her exhilarated laughter, running a hand over her thigh.
" We could go again, if you're not tired."
" Tired ? Me? Never, old man." she growls, slipping one dangerously dexterous hand under the sheets tangled around them .
Her cool slim fingers wrap around him, and he reaches for her waist just at the moment his phone rings somewhere in the room.
Damn the stupid thing.
She rolls away with a smirk on her face. "Get it, it could be the hospital. "
He gets grudgingly out of bed, digs the phone out of his coat pocket.
It's Burke .
" Derek. There's been a slight change of plans for tonight. ..."
" So we're not late after all. They need another hour " he snorts as he finally gets back on the bed.
Her eyes widen as he tells her what Burke just said.
" Oh my god. Really? "
" Yup."
" That's amazing. "
" Yeah. You know what else is amazing? " he asks, peeling back the sheets.
" You think we made a baby? " she asks half an hour later, on a more serious wavelength than him .
" Maybe. But we could go again, make sure..."
" We still have to get to the chapel on time you know."
" We should probably make sure when we get back though. And you could wear the sex shoes..."
"Shut up !" she swats him on the arm , giggling.
MEREDITH' S POV
Derek and Addison are late, she notices. They rush in at the last moment, ten minutes before the guests arrive.
Everything is rushed and everything is wrong.
Cristina doesn't even seem the least bit down or sad - she's perky , even , fussing with the dress and the bouquet , she's even being nice to Momma.
Everyone keeps moving on no matter what. I'm just the sad dirty ex mistress stuck in hole crying because the woman whose husband I stole just stole him back.
Mer. Snap out of it and help me with these pins. "
She slides pins into the elaborate updo obediently, looking at Addison who is as leggy and fabulous as always in a pale blue dress and pearls ,her gorgeous red hair in a sleek updo.
She looks happy in a disgustingly glowy way, like someone who has everything in the world.
Of course she does. She took it from me.
" Thanks for doing this." the bride whispers .
" I'm honestly flattered you even asked me to ." she says , exclaims how pretty and how perfect everything is,
It is ,for you.
and Meredith realises she's better at this hair thing anyway so she leaves her to it and goes to take her place behind the closed double doors.
She's not perfect to annoy you. She can't help it.
She needs to stop being McBitch and be happy . Her friend is getting married for gods sake.
And then everyone comes in and lines up behind her, the music starts, and because she's a freaking cotton candy bridesmaid already she might as well do this right, so she asks " You ready ?"
Of course she is, so the doors swing open and Burke is walking Izzie down the aisle to gasps from the crowd, because she looks so beautiful, really she does, you'd never guess she has brain cancer and a baby on the way.
It's like everything is moving slower than usual, Alex fighting tears through the vows, Addison as the matron of honor and mother of the bride in one, holding the bouquet and the rings, the I do's that ring out loud and clear.
Then there's George, stuttering a little at the beginning but then getting into his stride and bringing the crowd to laughter and tears with his best man speech, champagne and the first dance, Izzie and Alex twirling in the dusky evening light under the fairy lights Cristina was so relieved she didn't have to suffer after all.
And then the champagne gets to everyone and the dance floor is crowded , Derek and Addison in each others arms, swaying to the music; she dances with Finn but it's not the same so she tells him she needs to check on the car for the newlyweds even though Addison has already cajoled the chauffeur into waiting at the entrance.
She hides in a dark corner behind a massive flower arrangement, swigging the tequila she snagged from the judgy bartender and watching the crowd , which has devolved into a drunken danceathon .
And then she spots another contagious miserable soul and meets his eyes across the thrumming dance floor , tracks his gaze to Addison who has let her hair down and is dancing none too matronly with the new blonde attending and Callie and Bailey, then to an appreciative Derek.
Looks. like I'm not the only one in the dirty mistresses club, Mark Sloan.
Too weird? Let me know! In the reviews, you know.