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Part of Willow was meanly glad that Faith had finally shown her true colors. Not glad that Faith had killed someone, but that Faith had gone so far, at last, that Buffy had no choice but to see her as who, and what, she truly was. Sitting in the empty cafeteria on a Saturday, discussing it, Willow had to admit that what she really wanted to see was Faith getting what was coming to her. It was a feeling she didn't particularly like—she had never really felt it before—but she couldn't deny it.
Buffy really wanted to try to pull Faith back from the edge, though, and like a truly supportive friend, Willow was trying to be on board with that. "Maybe we should all talk to Faith together," she suggested. Secretly, she had to admit to herself that it was as much to be able to say some things to Faith that she had always wanted to say as anything else, but hopefully no one else could tell that was what she was thinking.
Anyway, Buffy wasn't biting. She gave Willow a skeptical look. "You mean, like that intervention you guys did on me? As I recall, Xander and I nearly came to blows."
"Uh, you nearly came to blows, Buffy. I nearly came to loss of limbs," Xander corrected her.
Giles sighed. He looked as if he hadn't had much sleep recently. Probably worrying about Faith. Was there no end to the ways that girl was going to mess with Willow's family? "Faith is too defensive for that kind of confrontation. She'd respond better to a one-on-one approach."
Xander immediately volunteered. "I can be the one. On her one."
There was a pause. Buffy glanced at him sideways, and Giles frowned.
"Let's rephrase. I think she might listen to me. We kind of have, um, a … connection."
Willow narrowed her eyes. Xander and Faith had a connection? News to her.
Giles's frown deepened, and Buffy said skeptically, "A connection? Why would you think that—"
"I'm just sayin' it's worth a shot. That's all."
"No, I don't see it, Xander. I mean, of all of us, you're the one person, arguably, that Faith has had the least contact with."
"Yeah, but we hung out a little … recently, and she seemed to be, um, responsive." Xander was being twitchy. Why was Xander being twitchy, Willow wondered, other than the fact that Faith was a girl and girls always made him twitchy? You'd think he'd have learned not to be that way, after all that time with Cordelia.
Oh, God. That was it. Xander and Faith had had sex.
Willow felt a sharp, stabbing pain in the gut. Faith had taken Xander's virginity? Because there was no doubt whose idea it had been, who had been in charge. She could almost see it—and she didn't want to see it. She wanted to cry.
"When did you guys hang out?" Buffy was asking. She hadn't gotten it yet. She would, though. Xander would make sure of that. For as much as he didn't want to admit what he had done, he wanted them all to know.
"She was fighting one of those apocalypse demon things, and I helped her. Gave her a ride home." Yeah, there was no doubt about it now. That shy, half-ashamed half-knowing look. That was sex.
"And you guys talked?"
Willow wanted to shout at Buffy. How had she not figured it out yet? Did Faith talk? Faith was not one for the talking.
"Not extensively, no."
"Then why would you th—" Buffy stopped abruptly, and Willow knew she knew. "Oh."
Giles's eyes widened and he sat up, echoing Buffy. "Oh."
Xander looked shame-facedly down at his shoes, and Buffy and Giles both looked at Willow, apparently unaware how far ahead of them she was in this particular conversation. "I don't need to say 'oh', I got it before. They slept together." She kept her eyes on Giles, unable to look at Xander.
There was a silence while Buffy and Giles stared at each other and Willow and Xander refused to look up. At last Giles said, "Fine, fine, let's move on."
"I … Look, I know that you mean well, Xander," Buffy began, stumbling awkwardly over the words. "But, um, I just don't see Faith opening up to you. She … doesn't take the guys that she has a … connection with … very seriously."
Xander didn't want to believe her; Willow could tell from his face. She was sad for him, and a little angry at him. Had he really thought sex with Faith had strings attached? Or emotions?
"And, um, they're kind of a big joke to her. No offense," Buffy added hastily.
After a pause, Xander laughed, bitterly. "Oh, no. I mean, why would I be offended by that?"
Giles said, "However, if you want to be of assistance, I could use some help in research." That he could tell how dismissive it sounded was obvious by how many times he stumbled over the words. "There's still the business of the Mayor and Mr. Trick to attend to."
Willow could feel Xander looking at her, but she couldn't move. If she looked at him, she didn't know what she would say. It wasn't his fault … she supposed, but … with Faith? And to think that she cared about him? What kind of an idiot was he? It was true, men really did think with their lower half.
In the silence, Buffy said, "Yeah, they seemed pretty cozy the other night."
"Yes. Uh, Willow …" Giles was still stammering. "Can you, um, access the Mayor's files?"
Willow had heard them talking, but she hadn't really been listening. She looked up at Giles, trying to make sense of what he had said. "What? Oh! Yeah, sure, I can try."
"Good! Yes, because clearly he, uh … We need to take a harder look at him, he's … um, obviously up to something." As he spoke, Giles got to his feet, picking up his chair and putting it back on top of the table with all the others in the empty cafeteria.
Willow and Xander still couldn't look at each other. Buffy sat forward in her chair, asking, "What about Faith?"
Giles looked at her, hesitating. At last he admitted, "I don't know. We need time."
"Well, she needs help now," Buffy insisted. Willow wished she would just let it go. Hadn't all their lives been better before Faith ever came to Sunnydale? Buffy and Giles looked at each other helplessly, and Buffy finished, "I owe her that."
As far as Willow was concerned, all anyone owed Faith was a swift kick in the pants, but she couldn't stay any longer. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, and she wasn't going to let Xander see that—or Buffy, for that matter, or Giles. She muttered something noncommittal as she got up and hurried out of the room, and then she hid in the bathroom, unable to stop crying.
What was it she was mourning? Xander's lost innocence? What business was that of hers, except that she loved Xander like a brother? Was she regretting that Xander had moved on from their brief affair to an even more ill-considered decision, or feeling guilty that she had cheated on Oz with someone who had such bad taste in women? After all, Cordelia and Faith … could he have chosen two less worthy recipients of his affection? Was there something wrong with her, with Willow? It was a disloyal thought to Oz … but then, Oz didn't seem anxious to push their relationship onward, either, to that level. And now Xander had moved on to a whole different level of experience than Willow, with a woman who didn't deserve that part of him.
It was a long time before Willow could be sure the tears were gone and she was ready to come out of the bathroom.