A/N: My co writer, Eriksangel12, convinced me. Meet Erik.
Christine's profile bustled with activity. She already had ten comments between the two pictures she had posted of herself, all left by strangers. There wasn't a single comment that she could point at and call nice.
"What a pretty girl - those lips look like they'd fit nice around my cock."
"I bet you'd like to get naughty for me, wouldn't you?"
They all varied in content but each seemed to be more vulgar than the last. She had never seen so many dicks in her life - literally. Clicking through the profiles of the men that commented made her blush, quickly backing out of the pages after they loaded.
Some of them didn't even have pictures of themselves - their profiles consisted of various dick pics, taken at different angles and in various, far less-than-appropriate places.
She couldn't even bring herself to reply to the comments that were left - instead she simply watched in horror, feeling very much like she was watching someone else's profile. There was a certain level of disconnect that she just couldn't quite get past.
Day three and she couldn't quite figure out why Meg was trying to convince her to keep the profile. So far it seemed like nothing more than creepy, horny old men looking for a hookup and that was certainly not what she had been intending to find.
The private messages were worse than the comments on her pictures - she wasn't sure why it surprised her but it did all the same. Somehow vulgar questions about her privates seemed to be what the men believed would get her to respond - she deleted each message almost as soon as she opened them, trying her best to forget about them. She had yet to find a single one that even tempted her to respond.
It wasn't until day four that one actually appeared in her inbox that seemed civil. The subject was simply "Hello" and when she opened it and scanned she didn't see anything even referencing sex.
Are you new here? Forgive me for asking. I was simply scrolling through and your profile intrigued me. I hope that you haven't been too overwhelmed - I promise that not everyone on this site is a raging creep. I'm sure you've figured it out by now but if not then you can click up near your username in the corner - go into settings and you can change your privacy settings. It won't stop the creeping entirely but it will limit it. I hope you haven't been scared away entirely yet! - Erik
P.S. if it's too bad you can block people there too.
Intrigued, she clicked on his profile. It was nearly as bare as hers, no bio, hardly any activity at all. "Angel_of_Music 32M Dom (Chicago, Illinois)." There was only one picture on his profile - a body shot of a man in a suit, taken strategically from the neck down. Despite the visible outline of his cock in his pants she had to admit that it was one of the most tasteful profiles that she had come across so far.
He was listed as single, looking for a relationship, a sub, a "princess by day, slut by night". At first she had balked at the sentence - then she realized that they were predetermined phrases.
She scrolled further down and came to a wall of text, a list of fetishes and kinks that she couldn't quite completely understand. She didn't bother mousing through them - instead she went back into her inbox and opened his message again.
What if I just want the comments to go away? She typed, hitting enter.
To her surprise almost immediately a typing icon appeared.
On the pictures? Open the picture and go to the comment. Pick the tiny text that says "more" and it will give you a delete option.
She left the message again, going to her profile picture and testing it. She hit delete and an "Are you sure?" box popped up. She hit yes and watched the comment disappear.
She went back into their conversation. Thank you so much! She typed, sending the message.
His reply came just as quickly as the last. It's no problem. There's a bit of a learning curve - I wish they made it easier. What's your name?
Christine she typed, sending the reply quickly.
Well, Christine, if you need any help then feel free to ask. I hope it'll be a little easier on you. Good luck finding whatever it is you're looking for.
She bit her lip, staring at the message. She clicked back through to his profile, going back down to the list of kinks. Bondage was simple enough, choking was pretty obvious. A few caught her eye, words that she knew the definitions of but not in the context of BDSM - discipline, power exchange, rules and consequences, pain, collars, Daddy/little girl… she clicked that one and it just opened up on a page that consisted of message boards that didn't give her much more of an understanding.
She opened the message again, trying not to think too hard as she typed. What if I need help with that too? She hit enter, contenting herself with the fact that he lived states away and if she made an idiot of herself there was very little chance that she would ever run into him outside of the website.
The typing icon didn't appear and she clicked back to her profile, beginning the process of cleaning the comments on her pictures out.
As she clicked through to the second picture a red one appeared next to the mail button and she clicked it eagerly, opening his message.
With finding what you're looking for?
Yeah she responded.
Well, what are you looking for?
She pulled her laptop onto her knees, leaning back against the couch. I don't really know.
The typing icon appeared and disappeared a few times and she stared at it, wondering why she was so enthralled by him. He hadn't shown an ounce of interest in her aside from his comment about her profile being intriguing - then again maybe that was why. It was so different from anything she had encountered on the website so far that it caught her attention.
What brought you to FetLife?
She stared at his question for a long moment. A friend recommended it.
Do you have any experience in this community at all?
No. She sent the answer so quickly that she didn't even give herself a moment to contemplate it.
Nothing like diving in headfirst. So you aren't even sure what you like… Why did your friend recommend it, Christine? There must be a reason.
This time she paused, mulling over how to answer him for a long moment before she started to type. I broke up with my last boyfriend because he just couldn't satisfy me… he was a good guy, really, and I was lucky to have him there just wasn't an ounce of dominance in him.
So you're a submissive?
I think so she replied, staring at the typing icon.
So look for a Dom. You want to find someone that you click with, someone that keeps your attention. Figure out what you want - do you want someone just in the bedroom or do you want something you can shape your life around? I can't answer it for you. No one can. Each and every submissive and dominant is different. Just make sure that you don't ever let anyone tell you that you have to do something. You don't. Find someone that can take no for an answer and explore with you at your pace. Trust is important.
She sighed, her fingers ghosting over the cold plastic keys of her computer as she contemplated her reply. Why did you message me?
You are very beautiful and very new. I could tell. The flood of comments with no replies and your empty friends list told me that you might be in a little over your head.
There was a short break as she read his message and then, before she could even poise herself to type a response, the typing icon came back.
If you are asking whether I was interested in you - yes. I was.
She felt the upturn of her smile. Are you still?
The typing icon appeared for about thirty seconds - it disappeared and reappeared, disappeared again and finally his single-word reply came through; Yes.
Even though I'm so new? She typed, wondering why she was trying to talk him out of her when her heart was racing with excitement.
Everyone starts somewhere. We were all new once.
Will you tell me about the daddy thing?
So you've poked through my profile?
She blushed, staring at his message. I'm sorry.
Don't be. That's good, you should do that. It's important to get a feel for the people you're talking to. A daddy is just a kind of dom - I'm a dom first and foremost, daddy just tends to be a subcategory of sorts. It's a more… nurturing role, a bit softer. If you have any specific questions I'd be happy to answer them.
She traced her fingers over the edge of her laptop as she contemplated her response. I don't want to offend you.
You are coming into this world completely new and blind. I promise I will not take any of your questions offensively.
Is it an incest thing? Do you like to be called daddy? There was a long pause before the typing logo reappeared.
It is not an incest thing. That's a pretty common misconception though - I can understand how it would come across that way. The relationship a daddy dom tends to form is just more fatherly than one, say, between a master and a slave. I enjoy teaching, nurturing and building up more so than the general dynamic between a dom and a sub. In answer to your second - yes. I do like to be called daddy. Right now, though, you can call me Erik.
She looked around the apartment. It was much darker now than it had been when she first sat down. Shouldn't I get used to the terminology?
That's hardly the most important thing. Erik is fine for now. When you call me daddy - if you call me daddy - I want it to mean something. Your profile says that you are 19. Are you going to school?
Yes.
That's good. What are you studying?
Elementary level education. Teaching.
That's a tough job. You must have a lot of patience. Do you have class in the morning, sweetheart?
Christine stared at the term of endearment, hardly able to stop the way her smile spread. It was ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous, to be this excited about a man on the internet that lived states away and wouldn't even post a picture of his face but she couldn't help the excited thump of her heart. I do but not until 8.
Well, it must be getting late there, what, nearly ten? I think that you should head to bed soon, Christine, sleep on this whole thing. If you are still interested in pursuing something like this I want you to message me when you get home from school. I want you to think about it and tell me one thing that you're interested in trying or learning about. Do you think you can do that?
I think I can. She replied. Surely there was a vast amount of options to pull from - she didn't really know anything about the lifestyle and just clicking onto his page gave her at least ten subjects that she could broach.
Good girl. I hope to hear from you tomorrow then. Sleep well, Christine.
Goodnight Erik.
She stared at the webpage for a few minutes longer but when the typing icon no longer appeared she closed the lid, making her way to her bedroom.
By the time Christine got back to her apartment Meg was already inside and using her microwave to pop a bag of popcorn.
"I didn't know you were coming over," Christine said, dropping her heavy book-bag by the door and closing it, locking the handle, the deadbolt, and doing up the chain on the door.
"Don't sound so excited to see me," Meg teased, pulling the door open as the microwave beeped. "C'mon, I know you've got tomorrow off. I brought popcorn and chick flicks - I thought you could use a girl's night. I'm not, like, interrupting a hot date or anything am I?"
Christine rolled her eyes. "No," she said. "I'm gonna go change - put a movie in and I'll be right back."
"Okie dokie artichokie," Meg said, pulling the steaming bag of popcorn open and aiming it away from her face.
Christine pushed her bedroom door closed quietly behind her, sliding her phone out of her pocket. She navigated to the web browser, typing FetLife in the address bar. She logged in quickly, checking the "remember me" box and waiting for it to load.
She had one message in her inbox and her heart skipped only to be disappointed when she realized it wasn't from Erik - instead it was just another of those generic profiles with a penis as the profile picture. When she opened it all she found was a vulgar message and she scrolled down, deleting the conversation. She went and reopened the conversation between her and Erik. I'm home for the night.
She set her phone on the edge of her dresser and pulled her shirt off, letting out a sigh of relief as she unclasped her ill-fitting bra. She left both laying on the floor and unbuttoned her jeans, walking across the room as she pushed them down her thighs.
Pajamas. Her favorite. She slid on the thick, fuzzy blue pajama pants and found a black hoodie, pulling it over her head.
She picked her phone back up, unlocking the screen. No reply, no indication that he was typing or that he had even been online at all. She locked it and slid it back into her pocket, joining Meg on her ratty couch and sitting against the arm of the couch. She pulled her feet up on the edge and when Meg tilted the back of popcorn toward her she reached in, grabbing a decent handful.
"What're we watching?" she asked, staring at the advertisements as though they were actually interesting.
"PS I Love You," Meg answered with a full mouth.
Christine sighed, picking at the popcorn in her palm. "Jesus, I'm beginning to think you're trying to make me cry."
"You could use a good cry," Meg said with a halfhearted shrug. "You've been through a lot these last couple months with your dad and now the break up with Raoul…"
"I'm fine, Meg. I swear," Christine argued, tilting the last bit of popcorn into her mouth. "Well, not about dad but the Raoul thing; really, I swear I'm okay."
"You're not even a little sad?"
"I mean, a little bit. We were together for, like, four years," Christine shrugged. "It was over. I mean, it's been over for a long time. I think I've already kinda grieved over it."
Meg clicked play and Christine slid her phone from her pocket, huddling herself in the corner of the couch and opening her profile back up. She had a new message and she clicked it eagerly.
I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm still at work and it's been hectic today. I might be a little slow to respond. How was school?
She glanced over at Meg who was too busy shoving handfuls of popcorn into her mouth and staring at the small flat screen television to be paying her much mind. It's okay, I understand. School was alright - semester three. The classes are starting to get a little more difficult but it hasn't been anything too hard yet. I only have one more math class to take and I'm looking forward to being done with that - I'm not very good at math. What do you do for work?
Christine leaned her temple against the back of the couch, smiling as she watched the little typing icon.
Architecture. I'm forced to be good at math. We broke ground on a new 240 unit apartment building and it seems someone has misplaced a few rather important sketches. Congratulations on almost being finished with math; it's pretty exciting when you finish with those core classes and get into the ones that actually interest you. Have you given any thought to what we talked about last night, Christine?
I have. I have two and I think they might kinda go together but I'm not 100% sure. Rules and power exchange.
She watched the screen of her phone and Meg pushed her knee with her foot. "Whatcha doing, Chris?"
"Browsing," she said, flushing bright red as she looked up and met Meg's eye.
Meg grinned at her. "You didn't delete it."
"... I didn't," Christine admitted, looking back down at the screen.
Pretty perceptive for someone stepping blind. Power exchange is pretty much just a fancier way of saying rules and consequences. It essentially just means that you agree to follow your dom's rules - not blindly, of course. You can't just be expected to know them and sometimes breaking them can be okay depending on the rule and the reason it's disregarded. They would be discussed and agreed upon by both parties. Let me ask you, now; is this something you were interested in trying or were you simply curious?
"Oh my god, you found someone didn't you?" Meg asked. When Christine flushed she laughed. "Show him to me! C'mon, you have to share."
"He only has one picture," Christine mumbled, trying to block her friend out and formulate a response to him.
"Well show me the one picture, Chris. Is it really bad?"
"No," she answered. "Hang on…"
Something I would be interested in trying or something I would be interested in trying with you? She hit enter and waited for the message to send before she clicked through to his profile and clicked on the single picture to open it.
She held her phone out to Meg and Meg snatched it from her hands.
"Well, he seems to have a decent body," she said, scrolling over the page. She tapped on something and Christine reached for the phone, grunting as Meg leaned back and pulled it out of her reach. "Hang on…"
"Don't read my messages," Christine mumbled.
Meg glanced up at her and raised her eyebrows. "Trust me, I don't wanna know what kind of weird shit is in your inbox… Jesus, thirty-two?"
"Are you judging me?" Christine huffed, pulling her knees to her chest.
"Not at all. I just hope you know what you're getting into, that's all. He's got quite a list of kinks there. You're not just talking to him because he's in Chicago and you think he's safe, are you?"
"He's really nice, Meg," Christine said defensively.
"He got a job?"
"He's an architect," Christine mumbled. "Can I please have my phone back?"
"Here, you've got a message," Meg said, surrendering the phone back to her.
Christine sighed, clicking it and opening his response.
Either one, Christine. With me or with anyone.
She contemplated it for a long moment before she typed out her response. I could say no if it was too much, right? I might be willing to consider trying it with you.
There was a long wait and just as the typing indicator popped up she got a notification. There, sitting in her pending box, was his friend request. She accepted and clicked back to the message just as it lit up with a notification.
I encourage it but I need you to understand that if I give you rules and you start exploring these things with me I will consider you mine. That's a pretty quick step for someone that only just fell into this life. That doesn't mean there won't be an out - you will always be free to walk away - but for the time being it means no talking to other Doms, it means transparency and accountability. If you want to sleep on it I wouldn't discourage it - if you honestly feel like it's a step you're ready to take then I will believe you.
She worried her lip, typing and backspacing her reply at least three times before finally hitting enter so she couldn't argue with herself over it. What does that mean as far as you and I go? In more vanilla terms, please. This is a lot to wrap my head around and I just want to know what I'm really getting myself into.
"Don't look at me like that," she sighed as she met Meg's eye.
"I'm just trying to figure out what you're thinking so hard about over there," Meg said with a shrug.
I'm afraid I'm not sure what exactly you're asking. Can you be more specific?
If I'm expected to be committed and faithful to you can I expect the same?
She stared eagerly at the screen of her phone, waiting for his message to come through. Her heart hammering wildly in her chest.
Polyamory and open relationships have never appealed to me. I do not share very well and relationships are a lot of work. You can expect to be my only sub and the only woman in my life for the duration of our relationship. Does that answer your question?
I think so.
There was a long pause before his next message came through: Tell me what you're thinking, sweetheart. Do you need time to think it over?
Christine looked up, locking eyes with Meg.
"The look on your face tells me you're doing something really dumb," Meg prodded.
Christine shrugged. "I think I might be in a relationship."
"With a thirty two year old man that lives states away? Christine, you can't even confirm the fact that he has a head."
I want to try she typed, hitting send before she could talk herself back from the ledge.
"He has a head, Meg," she huffed.
Meg tutted. "But you can't really confirm that, can you? You haven't seen it… Chris-"
"It's fine, Meg," she sighed. "Honestly it's probably safer than going to the bar and picking someone up - it's really easy to back out. He's been really nice so far. Can you just be happy? You're the one that talked me into joining this stupid site in the first place."
Are you sure?
I'm sure.
"If you're happy I'm happy for you. I just want you to be safe, you know that."
(773)555-8792 you can feel free to text me whenever you are ready to.
She stared blankly at the message. "He gave me his phone number."
"Ooh, what's the area code?" Meg asked, perking up.
"773," Christine answered.
Meg pulled out her own phone, typing it in the search. "Well, it's Chicago alright. He must live outside of downtown."
"What do I do?" Christine asked, still staring blankly at it.
"What do you - oh my god, Chris. You are so awkward. Text him. Seriously. You already told him you wanted to be with him. It's really easy to block a number - I can show you how."
"Just, like, text him? What do I even say?"
"Uh… 'hi this is Christine' would probably work great."
And so that was exactly what she did. She clicked the hyperlink and saved the contact under "Erik" and clicked the text button. Hi, this is Christine.
Hello Christine. I was beginning to think I may have scared you off.
"I think it's just having you here," Christine mumbled. "I wasn't nervous until you started staring at me."
Meg just laughed, looking back at the television.
You didn't, I'm sorry. My friend Meg is here and she was just distracting me.
Ah, no, I'm sorry. Enjoy your time with your friend, sweetheart. I had no idea you had someone over.
Meg is always here and she's making me watch sad movies. I'd rather talk to you honestly.
Meg. Is that the friend that introduced you to FetLife?
It is.
Did she help you come up with your username?
Christine bit her lip, staring at the text message. No. That was an old nickname my dad gave me when I was little.
Ah. I did wonder. I'll admit that I was surprised when you said you had no experience - reading a bit too deeply into your username I suppose. What movie are you watching?
PS I Love You.
I don't think I've seen that one.
Don't. It really sad. I cry every time I watch it.
Well that's just not good. Why are you watching it then?
Meg picked it and she said I need a good cry sometimes. Maybe she's right. It's been a rough few months but I think things are starting to even out a little.
I'm sorry to hear that. If you don't mind me asking, what happened?
My dad passed away.
My condolences. That's difficult on the whole family.
Just me mostly. I'm really all that's left of the family. It's okay, though. I have Meg and she really is a huge help.
You have no family at all?
I was an only kid. Mom died in an accident when I was too little to remember and her family kinda walked away too. Dad was kinda estranged. It was just me and him for as long as I can remember.
I'm so sorry to hear that, sweetheart.
No, I'm sorry. I'm being a bit of a downer, aren't I?
Not at all. I asked. It's important for me to know these things about you anyway.
Really? Why?
It's important in building any kind of relationship. Especially one like this - I need to know what your support system at home is like. It doesn't sound like you have much of one. We will take things very slowly.
What about you? Do you have family?
I never knew my father. My mother is still around. I don't see her much.
Christine looked over at Meg, reaching out and fishing almost all the way to the bottom of the popcorn bag to steal a handful.
"Everything okay?" Meg asked, tilting the bag to make it easier.
Christine shrugged, taking a bite of the popcorn. "He seems normal. I mean, we're just talking. It's kinda nice."
"If things get weird or he makes you uncomfortable -"
"I know, Meg," Christine huffed. "I'm not stupid."
Meg looked at Christine carefully, smiling sadly. "I didn't say you were, Chris. I just want you to trust your gut, that's all."
If you are still interested I have a few very simple rules to start you out with, Christine.
A few? Can we talk through them one at a time? I'm still interested.
Absolutely. The first is simple. Honesty. If you want to talk to any other doms you will tell me who and why and ask for permission. You will be honest about what you talk about. You are free to, and encouraged to, talk to and befriend other subs. You do not need permission for that. Do you have any objections to that?
That seems fair. What about you, though? Do you talk to other subs?
No. Generally speaking I will not. I have no reason to. If I do I will not ask your permission but I will be honest with you about it. I will never lie to you and I expect the same from you.
Ok. I can agree to that. What's the next one?
We are starting very simply, sweetheart. I want you to text me when you go out. You will text me that you are safe when you make it where you are going and you will tell me when you've made it home. You do not need to tell me where you are yet. You will not be expected to keep contact with me the whole time.
So just text you when I'm there and when I get home? That's not hard. I can do that. What's the next one?
Do you have a job, Christine?
I do. I'm a part time barista at a local coffee shop. I usually work full time hours and try to take overtime though.
I see. You must be very busy then. How are you doing in your classes?
I'm doing ok. Sometimes it's a little hard to keep up.
I imagine it is. Your third rule; you're going to start working on your class work first thing when you get home. That needs to be finished first. If you want to put something off for anything other than work you need to tell me what the assignment is and why. If it's simply too difficult you will tell me what it is and what you need help with. Do you have any thoughts or objections?
No more procrastination?
No.
Okay. I think I can agree to that one too. I should be doing it anyway. What else?
I don't expect you to be perfect. This one is very important, Christine. You are going to make mistakes; you're only human and you're very new to this. If you break a rule I expect you to be honest and tell me.
What happens if I break a rule?
For now? We talk about it. We figure out why you did it and how to avoid it in the future. We can discuss actual consequences later, after you're a little more comfortable in all of this.
Okay. That doesn't sound too bad. What else?
That's all for now, sweetheart. I don't want to overwhelm you. We're going to try those for a little while and see how it goes. Give it a week or so. If you want more then and we agree that you're ready we'll add more.