Translation by Jessinthedungeons.
Chapter 27 – We are just right for each other
Being a healer meant working with a mix of potions and spells that combined during the healing process. There was no room for chaos, and it was there that I found my control through calculated measures and the comfort of performing spells that would heal someone and bring me a much-needed sense of complete satisfaction that left no room for worries.
Saving lives was not easy or predictable, but all I needed to do was follow the instructions, stay calm and, when I needed to improvise, trust my instincts; in the end, there would not only be a patient saved, but the chance to have my mind relieved and clear.
But today's shift left me with a need for that simplicity. A disagreement with one of the intern healers about the increasing number of authorized visits to Minerva; two wizards in mental confusion by a cauldron explosion; Ginny calling me for an emergency "girls" night, and the step by step explanation I had to give to the new therapist who would take care of the Longbottons; not to mention the surprise at the hasty request for urgent replenishment of Wolfsbane's stock, left me with my head boiling.
The chaotic state of Neville's table didn't help my mood at all, either. He smiled when he noticed my frowning look at the pile of papers on his right.
— I know where everything is, boss. — He got up, going to our improvised mini pantry and starting to prepare afternoon tea. — This look of yours should make me terrified, but I remember what your mood was like this morning, before the flood of work that fell upon us.
— Just make our tea, Neville, please. — I asked.
A smile appeared on his face.
— Yes, you got here kind of floating this morning. So, I will insist that your frown is for the stress of the day.
— Of course it's because of the work. Don't Sundays use to be quiet days around here? — I asked rhetorically.
— Yeah, they used to. — His smile turned into a worried frown as he ran his hand through his hair. — Ginny also called me about the girls' night, but she did not want to say anything by phone. Did she say anything to you?
— No. — I was tense when another visitor permission to Minerva magically appeared on my desk. I signed the refusal immediately.
— Well, since about the duty there is nothing to be improved, can we talk about your morning mood? — My assistant was direct.
Neville smiled at me again, leaning his elbow on my desk as he stretched out one of the cups of tea he had just made and patiently waited for my explanation as I reoriented and quickly decided that of all my friends he was the most discreet and deserved to know something.
The team rumors took over all circles, after people witnessed me and Severus hugging each other on the Quidditch field as he returned from his three-day disappearance. Not to mention the rumors in the newspapers, the Suspicions of Ginny with me and Severus sharing a room and the rescue and care I had with my advisor a few days ago. Neville was aware of every single thing, which was already a lot. And that didn't even include what he had noticed outside my presence. However, what conclusion Neville had drawn for himself, I still did not know. It was worth investigating.
— Wasn't it you who didn't want to look at our kiss in Ginny's memory? — I asked him while taking a sip of my tea. It was delicious.
— Because I prefer to ask you? — He gave it back.
His simple questioning was asked as I offered him a blueberry macaron, which I had taken from a box inside my drawer. Neville devoured the treat in a single bite and reached out in a silent request for another.
— Answering a question with another question is what someone does when they are trying to buy time to say something they already know.
Neville smiled. — Your mood this morning confirmed my suspicions.
— You are taking too much time to ask the real question, dear. — I said cheerfully.
— Because you're trying to distract me with macaron! — Neville answered.
— Is it working?
— No. Also, I had been wanting to ask since our last night of pizza and wine, but... — I knew the end of his sentence: Cho could become obsessive about anything and make our moment of relaxation something chaotic at best. — Well, we can walk in circles, or could you tell me the truth about what's going on between you and Snape? — Neville raised his hand before I could answer. — And don't say it's nothing. I saw the two of you on the first visit to Minerva, and Dean told me and Ivan that he has been staying at your house because his house is occupied by Narcissa Malfoy.
— We're dating. — My nerves were bad enough without noticing how quickly Neville's jaw dropped. It was the first time I confessed aloud to someone what Severus and I had. — We're sharing the same roof and we... um, we had sex. Not just once, or twice.
If possible, Neville's eyes widened, more incredulous; his mouth opened and closed several times while trying to form words without success.
I looked away, into my still open drawer, from where I had pulled out the little box of macarons. I was not embarrassed by the confession of sex with Severus. But Neville, well, there was a whole past between him and Severus that gave me no chance to soften the news that I was sleeping with his childhood tormentor. Honestly, I was waiting for the shock of my assistant and this was my reluctance not to confess, but he asked.
Neville finally cleared his throat. — Since when?
— Officially? — The still shocked look on Neville's face confirmed to me that yes, he talked about officially. — Friday night, but I... I think we've been involved a lot longer.
— I'm confused. I thought something had come up on the trip, from the kiss you exchanged, but... I don't know. Wizards often make an official proposal for dating only after a certain courting time.
— Yeah... well... I don't know, Neville. Some pure-blood customs make no difference to me. — I answered honestly, hoping that he would not be offended by my comment. Neville courted Hannah for an entire year, before the official proposal for dating was made. — But it's new, and sometimes I really have no idea what I'm doing.
— Do you like him? — Neville seemed sore even to ask.
— I…
— No judgment if you do. I only ask because you seem nervous.
I looked at the clock. — You can already go, or you will be late to surprise Hannah.
— It's literally a word, Hermione: yes or no. Simple as that.
Complexities aside, Neville was right. And I had already confessed to my partner how I felt, so for me, it would be easy to repeat to anyone that yes, I loved him, since I confirmed this during the strangest and most intense moments I lived with Severus. It was in the changes he made, and in the way he constantly worked to improve himself, allowing old wounds to heal and making room for me to reach him. It was also in the form of tea that he kept for me every night, even if he had already retired to sleep. Or even in the fierce way he reaffirmed that I was an exceptional witch.
Even outside those moments, I could find the answer in something so simple: in the way he looked at me.
— Yes. I love him, Neville.
— So that's all that matters for now. — Neville put his hand on my shoulder. — You are allowed to be happy.
— I'm trying. — I murmured. And I've always been good at being happy while enjoying dating. I was happy even with my sporadic affair with Viktor. And I'm good at doing that when Severus is around. But we both live in the middle of a war, so my brain is racing at every opportunity. — We understand each other in every way. But I think he has to think more than I do, and he probably hesitated for a while just because I hesitated too. I have my insecurities, we both do, and the list is long. We are both marked by this war, more than we would like. The good thing is that we are both not impulsive, we are absolutely sure of what we are. But we're in a war, Neville, I can't be happy knowing there are consequences waiting for us at some point.
— The consequences will be there regardless. — Neville replied, smiling slightly. — I say you must live in the moment.
A laugh escaped me. — I expected more resistance from you against him.
— I wouldn't stop you from finding what you're looking for, Hermione, even if that means there's a chance Snape is that. — Neville shrugged and put the strap of the bag itself on his arm, while giving me a wink. — Make no mistake, I am shocked, but I am able to recognize the aura of happiness that was around you in the morning. Enjoy it, Mione, you deserve it.
I wiped away a stubborn tear that fell down my cheek, too moved by Neville's words. He had every reason in the world not to support my relationship with Severus. But he was happy for me, attitudes like that are what supported my theory that friendship was a much stronger feeling than love. Perhaps, whoever named both, changed their positions.
There was a knock on my office door long after Neville left.
— Come in. — I ordered, remaining fully focused on my task of analyzing scrolls with the confused diagnosis of a newly admitted patient in the Janus Thickey Ward that I barely noticed the door being opened and closed, but when the visitor said nothing, I finally raised my head with an angry comment on the tip of my tongue for its non-identification.
My acid words turned into a sigh at the sight of Severus. The memory of waking up in his arms yesterday was still too vivid in my mind that I would not let a light smile sprout on my lips at the sight of him.
— Severus.
— Healer Granger.
A breath of air escaped me. Someone should explain why Severus Snape sounded so sexy when he was just being formal. I felt stupid for sighing just to hear him sound serious. One day, I hope, hearing that velvety timbre coming out of his mouth will no longer cause me this childish vibration in my stomach. I need to get used to my name in his mouth like this is a normal thing.
But it wasn't just that. He was dressed in muggle clothes and looked so casually dressed in perfection, in gray pants and black shirt with a tie of the same color, that I stood a few seconds paralyzed by his figure, without uttering a word. It was a different look than his usual, and I have to confess that this monochromatic scale of colors that Severus has always used, makes me forget that I am in love with the beauty of colors. To see him always in black and gray, in a clear appeal to his simplistic nature, makes me too attracted to this man. Does he dress like that because he knows what effect it has on me?
I looked at myself and felt so badly dressed in my lime green lab coat, until I remembered my light blue dress underneath it and I almost grimaced, I only restrained myself from the outbreak of irrational irritation because Severus himself kept looking at me.
It was disheartening that a single eight-hour Sunday shift had destroyed all of my newly acquired self-esteem from the compliments Severus gave me at our Friday night sex marathon, which stretched throughout the entire Saturday. He whispered so many times that I was beautiful, that I was absolutely convinced of it while I dressed this morning. Two patients in mental confusion and a stomach reconstruction surgery, sprayed any good mood I had throughout the day.
Maybe I could change my clothes or...
— My assumption was correct. — His voice interrupted my thinking.
— And it was...? — I asked, noting his firm approach.
Severus did not seem critical as he examined the uncontrolled chaos at Neville's table; he probably got used to the view of it, given all the visits he made here. Minerva's stay at the hospital made me authorize the opening of the flu connection from the headmistress's office at Hogwarts to mine, at Saint Mungus, so that Severus would not have to apparate in an emergency and risk being summoned again by The Unspeakable.
— That you wouldn't be ready. — He answered me.
I finally remembered to look at the clock on the wall by the door. Oh, damn it! I value punctuality very much, but my choice of profession leaves me almost no opening to be immune to delay.
— I'm almost done. — I answered and returned to my task, quickly writing down my notes on the potions and spells I ministered to the patients of the day. The sound of my scratching feather was the only noise in the silence. — What about the others?
— I've called the meeting for tomorrow night. — Severus sat in the chair on the other side of my table, and I almost smiled at the sight. It was a strange reversal of roles; my former teacher, now an advisor, sat in front of me as I occupied the seat of highest authority. — Draco told her.
I stopped writing and gave him my full attention. — Should I know what that means?
— Draco told Narcissa that she has a grandson. His visit after that was a pure contemplation of tears. — He went on.
— Well, you'd expect that. Is Draco okay? — Severus shrugged, and I gave him a meaningful look. — Are you okay with that? I know how much you both don't want information about Scorpius's existence to leak to Lucius. — I reached for his hand on the table.
Severus gave a look at our hands together.
— I miss Albus. — He muttered.
I did not answer his sentence, hoping that he would make the connection between the lack Albus Dumbledore made in his life with the conversation we were having. My partner took a few minutes before talking again. I imagined that he was going over in his head some of the situations that he and Albus lived together, and that justified the statement that he had just made.
— He would not have waited so many days until he used the information about Scorpius to demand a more active position from Narcissa. — Severus let out a sigh. — The greater good was worth anything. Anyone.
— Is that about Harry? — I asked.
My former potion professor's eyes met mine when he nodded affirmatively.
— Scorpius would not be the first boy to have his life thrown in the middle of a war. — He said in a sorry tone. — The difference now is that it is I who am in front of this decision-making.
— And you'd rather it was Albus doing it. — It's not a question, but Severus nods positively again. I squeeze my fingers over his, trying to reassure him with my touch. — It's your turn, Severus, there's no getting away from it.
— I know. — He muttered, looking away.
— But there is a big difference between you and him. — His eyes fly again to meet mine and I can see reflected an anxiety there, or maybe it is a background of hope that I will see better than him the situation where he finds himself. — You let them know your steps. No one is in the dark here. And believe me, I went hunting horcruxes with Harry, and we had nothing more than guesses about the clues. It was hard. So, if you were clear with Draco about what he needed to do in order for us to gain Narcissa's help, you are already a better person. And Draco cannot leave Scorpius on the sidelines. The boy is in prophecy. Eventually, he would be involved. — Severus gave me a meaningful look, and I finally let go of his hand to resume my work from where I had left off. — Draco knows that you and I will protect Scorpius. If he agreed to convince his mother to trigger Theodore and use him as a spy within the rebel force, it is because he believes that we should take advantage of this move to change the course of the clash with Lucius and allow us now to dictate the tone of the battle. Do you trust Narcissa?
— Yes. — Severus didn't hesitate. He consulted the clock. — Fifteen past six.
It was only an hour before sunset.
— Finished. — I answered and hit my wand on the scrolls, which took the form of paper planes, and took off to the office of my assistant on duty.
Regretting again my choice for the tight light blue dress, I summoned my heels with an angry wave of my wand. I could feel Severus watching me as I stepped out of my white non-slip work shoes and climbed into my pair of black heels that were a cute doll model, but I finally gave in to my growing irritation, and snorted.
— I can just apparate home and change myself and…
— No.
When I turned around, Severus was right behind me and close enough to rest his hands on my shoulders. I almost dodged him, too sunk in my purulent irritation.
— You look so good, and I'm in the same outfit as the whole day on duty, and…
— Hermione, you're beautiful even without trying. — He interrupted me. — It is a pity that you are not self-conscious about it. I will strive to remind you of this every day.
My irritation evaporated like fog whenever the sun came out, and I raised my chin as a blush colored my cheeks. Who was this man who knew exactly what to say when I plunged into a pit of self-flagellation?
Severus's gaze upon me was one of complete attraction.
— I thought you didn't…
— Blue is my favorite color on you. — He declared, and, as if he had not told me something new and surprising, he moved, sliding his hands down my arms and leaving goosebumps where he touched. — Are you ready?
— Yes.
Severus reached into his trousers' pocket and pulled out a lighter. With two taps of his wand, the Portkey was activated, and as soon as our feet landed on the ground, I found myself admiring yet another sunset with Severus.
I think the moment of admiration for the rosy color of the sky, would be our safe haven forever. That kiss marked the beginning of our "yes," so I think from there, watching the world be dyed in color when we were together, would be our moment of awe of our own love. Much more than just admiring a spectacle provided by nature. And I know that neither I nor he used to give us the chance to do this, but now this was our moment.
Standing on the hill that Severus chose to bring us and leaning on the parapet of ancient ruins left by some past civilization, I watched the sun slowly plunge into the horizon, while absorbing its heat and energy. A smile played on my lips.
— Did you know that sunset colors result from light refracted by particles in the atmosphere? — I asked him, biting my lip. — Of course, there is more than that, but I do not want to bore you with conversations about the behavior of light, the composition of the atmosphere, wavelengths and dispersion. I studied some muggle physics.
The sound of the surrounding wind was all I heard until his laughter cut through the space.
— Why am I not surprised that you are a know-it-all even in the Muggle world, even if you spent your youth education trapped in a castle and fighting a war?
I hit Severus's arm, which barely moved.
— I always thought the sunset was beautiful! So, I read about it in a book.
— Oh, in a book? — He arched an eyebrow. — That's not surprising either, Granger. — His voice sounded soft, before he laughed.
And maybe it was the mood radiating from him or the ease of our conversation, but whatever it was, it made me laugh freely, until I caught the curve of his lips and my smile slowly faded as he looked down at me.
Ever since our relationship began, when we became close friends, I've noticed that Severus didn't smile too openly. Even when he seemed happy. I could count on my fingers the times I saw him do that. To see him smile openly now, it was real and charming. My chest swelled with so much love that I turned my eyes away from his.
Inhaling the fresh air, I took a look around. There were trees and flowers all around, hills and green stretching out like a carpet in front of us and the warmth of the setting sun contrasting with the icy wind of winter. Even cold, it was a breathtaking landscape. Nature at its best.
— Why did you choose this place? — I asked when my eyes landed again on Severus and noticed that he was looking around too, even if he did not have the same expression of admiration that I could feel exuding from me.
— Because you like nature.
I should have expected this, after all, Severus is attentive to details.
— Yeah, I like it. — I put one of my curls behind my ear. — Don't you?
— I lived too many years in that Castle. I liked nature more when it wasn't all I saw around me.
— Next time, take me somewhere you like. — I murmured.
— Noted.
Both his gaze and the rumble in his voice changed something inside me.
— Besides potions, drinks and tattoo, what do you like?
Severus looked over my head at the hill farther away, but said nothing for a long moment. Thinking.
— I didn't have much time to find out.
His answer was honest, though sad; I turned again to the direction of the sun. Keeping me silent.
— I like to create. — He confessed quietly. — Spells. Curses. Potions.
— As the steal-color potion?
Severus nodded. — I created it thinking about Potter.
— Really? — I whispered, surprised.
— That's why he was the one who went to Brazil to pick you up. I wanted him to have his magic back, and sending him to get you was a way of reminding him that he is still a hero. Always will be.
I swallowed the lump of emotion in my throat and looked at him with teary eyes.
— That was... incredible, Severus.
He looked away from me. Severus did not know how to react to compliments.
— I did something for Draco and Scorpius too. — He said.
— What is it?
— They're just candy wrappers. They carry it all the time in their pockets. They are not portkeys because they could be easily checked by any wizard or spell. They are more like a form of muggle GPS. I can track them down if one of them goes missing.
— Oh, that's smart. — I ignored the smug expression on his face. — How do you know so much about muggle technologies?
— George.
— George? Like George Weasley? — I asked in amazement.
— I believe you and I do not know another. — He smiled slightly.
I made a small humm agree. The silence that returned was short; another question was already brewing when he pulled my body toward him, and I naturally slid an arm around his back. Easy and natural as a breath, and we were hugging each other.
— Severus, have you ever wondered why, at times like this?
— Why what?
— Why does it look the way it does? — I answered, swallowing dry. — The two of us.
Being with him now was frighteningly easy in a way that didn't exist before. At least not for me. Remembering our first conversations and quarrels full of friction and tension, not only embarrasses me by the way I had attacked him with harsh words and misinterpretations about him, but also makes the fact that we are now worshiping each other's company something incomprehensible.
I can't even tell you exactly when the tension between us changed into this quiet coexistence. And it's even harder to remember what the moment was when we saw ourselves as what we are today.
— Not so long ago we were discussing how two opposite poles... — I stopped, taking a deep breath. — And now we're here. It's mystifying and overwhelming whenever I think about it and you. And I have to admit that I spend hours thinking and thinking about when this happened and trying not to feel insecure because I think we're going to go back to that stage of fighting and screaming. And then I look at you, and you look completely carefree, and all I do is ask myself... Why?
The silence that followed seemed as infinite as the expanse of heaven over our heads. When Severus spoke, his tone of voice was like him: balanced and controlled.
— I have no experience of being explosive or anxious, Hermione. I've been a spy for a long time; it's in my nature to be stoic and impassive and demonstrate nothing. It is for this very reason that I am not a romantic man either, although I do not believe that you are the type of woman who needs it. If you find me romantic when I say that you are an exceptional witch or beautiful, it is because you have serious self-affirmation problems because when I say these things, I am just stating a fact, and not wanting to get into your panties.
I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it quickly.
— If you want a timeline of the sequence of events or a list of moments that brought us here, I don't have it, either. Just like I don't have an answer to your last question. My carelessness is because we just... we are right for each other. — He stared me in the eye before continuing. — If you can't see why, I can't explain it to you.
— I feel... out of control. — I confessed, even if I was uncomfortable with my own honesty. — How do you not feel the same way, that makes me perplexed.
— I never said I don't. — He declared.
I brought my free arm to join the one that was already entwined around him and interwoven my fingers into each other, hugging him fully and with my chin raised to face him. Severus didn't look away from me at any point. But he kept his expression closed, the one that was quite difficult to read.
But I understood his last sentence. Severus also felt out of control. It makes perfect sense, now that I think being in a relationship is uncharted waters for him. It's something new and fragile. And uncomfortable, if I want to put into this equation the fact that the only other woman he has ever loved in life, has ruled out even the friendly relationship they had since childhood.
Severus didn't know what a loving relationship was, he's never been in one, so this thing between us, on his part, is still learning to exist. However, here he was leading the way, being the man and the oldest in the relationship, he naturally assumed this role of leading, even without knowing anything about it. He's certainly out of control and terrified, he was just too good at not showing it so that I, the woman, the younger one, and the side of the relationship that naturally tends to be needier, didn't feel insecure about setting our pace.
That question became clear when Severus framed my face with his hands and captured my mouth in a kiss that was anything but impulsive. His true meaning, that he would always remain calm and secure about both of us, was endorsed by the roar in my chest, the shaking in my stomach, and the curvature of my toes. We are just right for each other, his statement echoed through my head and seeped into my bones.
But as soon as I held him stronger, looking for more, Severus walked away, turning his head to the last remnants of daylight, then taking a quick look at the clock. His eyes lingered on it.
— Dinner?
The question was so abrupt that it dispersed my thoughts, leaving my mind devoid of arguments against.
— Yes.
Dinner was sophisticated. He took me through a new portkey to one of the London restaurants that I know you need to make reservations weeks in advance. The atmosphere is too sophisticated and once again I reproach myself for my choice of dress, but obviously Severus was supposed to be an assiduous customer because the hostess recognized him at first sight and took us to a private table so quickly that I barely had a chance to process the fact that Severus enjoyed Thai food until we were sitting across from each other in the dark room.
I looked around us, then fixed my gaze on him.
— It's refined here. — I commented.
Severus nodded as he filled my glass with the white wine that magically appeared on the small table next to him.
— The menu? — I asked, looking around once again.
— It was chosen earlier.
I finally set my head back a few hours in time and my mouth opened and closed several times with the increasing realization: his robes, Severus checking the time in my hospital office and then timing our conversation at sunset. Then a dinner suggestion after a kiss of distraction and a restaurant that accepts no one without a reservation, with a pre-set menu.
— You tricked me into bringing me on a date. — I murmured.
— Yes. — The curve of his mouth formed a smile. Any problem?
The first dish magically popped up on the table before I could answer or argue. I didn't know what it was, but it was delicious. And each subsequent course in the menu was better than the previous one, something I thought impossible given the spicy characteristic of Thai food. Severus told me, in the interval between one dish and another, that he had ordered the main course within the four menu options that were not served with the usual typical Thai seasoning.
By the end of the dinner, I had no further opposition about Severus having taken me by surprise here. And if I were honest, it was wonderful to see Severus openly enjoy something as simple as a meal, and I spent every minute of our dinner photographing each of his expressions. The conversation wasn't plentiful, but I left knowing something else about Severus Snape: he loved Thai food because his Muggle grandmother was married to a Thai man and made the dishes at the rare family gatherings he attended as a child.
After dinner, we walked hand in hand until we reached a safe place to apparate to our final destination: the living room of my house. It was my turn to take us there, and Severus wasted no time in kissing me as soon as we arrived.
The desire in our veins arose as a frisson and our clothes flew around us, as we greedily kissed. The next thing I realized, is that we were in our bed, Severus's long finger working firmly against my clit, and his teeth were embedded in my neck as his cock throbbed deep inside me. With the angles of our bodies so perfectly aligned, I could feel my impending climax getting closer and closer. And his too, if his broken rhythm and his panting curses were to be trusted. Control was just a figment of my imagination when I came with my head thrown back on his shoulder and my spine bent against his chest.
Minutes later, curled up against his chest and finally descending from the height of my orgasm, I ran my fingers back and forth along his jaw before rubbing my thumb against his lips.
— I wish that the reality of tomorrow would never reach us. — I whispered.
Severus gently kissed my head as he wrapped his finger in one of my curls. I raised my face to his as he let out a heavy sigh.
— Let's make a new world for us, Granger.
Final Notes
This chapter was completely rewritten because this author here recalled that officially our couple never had a first date.
PS: don't get used to the bonanza.
The beta of this chapter was the incredible danielaregina and if you have never read her stories, hurry to read, they are amazing!
Translation by Jessinthedungeons.