Intermission II - Disgusting.

You realize, at this point, that you're barely even there, with them. But you know why. You know exactly why, so you dwell upon it not.

...be quiet.

You are with them, in the cafeteria, eating a loaf of bread and allowing them to speak of things you could care less about. You watch them, you observe them. Every little movement they make. The width of their open mouths. The lights in their eyes. The intonations of their voices. You know them all quite well at this point.

There is a reverberating feeling within you, and you wish to reciprocate this, but you realize, no. Now isn't the time, it's too early, what's done hasn't been done yet. Confusingly enough. There is still much you must do before this feeling can truly be acted upon. So you decide to sit and watch and wait and fathom just how much of a monster you truly are, taking advantage of how they see you as the quiet one.

...

You are a sickening, disgusting vermin. You know of a power far beyond theirs, a power that requires them to make you whole, make you stronger.

...stop it, please.

You do not know why Yukari is in love with you, why Fuuka is in the process of falling in love with you, why Mitsuru is warming up to you. Why Aigis pines for you. Why Junpei is jealous of you, why Amada admires you, why Sanada views you as an equal, why Koromaru finds you his favorite companion to go on walkies with. You don't know, and it frustrates you, because what you do know is that they all deserve better than you. You are a liar. A vile liar. You knew what it meant to pull the trigger, and you still did it anyway. Because you were afraid. Because you needed to save her.

And you are a vile voice that should not be here.

This world needs you. You know that, but you are sick of the world. The world doesn't need you. The world is better off without you. What have you done for the world? Nothing! Nothing at all.

Quiet. You are a bastard fetus dangling forlornly from the umbilical cord of a parent who wants you to be terminated. You are an alien, an outsider, a demon.

And you barely count as human. You summon demons and gods and angels and eldritch abominations from your head on a whim, and they see you as a savior, a messiah, a king, a prince, a hero.

You don't know the terms of which you speak.

Neither do you.

You are not the same.

And who are you!?

You do not deserve the answer to that question.

And who are you to decide that!? Denier.

Quiet yourself. You disturb.

Like you don't!? You do nothing but sit and wait for the perfect time to exploit!

And you do nothing but distract and irritate.

Like you deserve better! Monster!

You are the monster. You do not belong here.

You refuse to acknowledge that which you are speaking. And you are flawed for it.

You are the flaw. You are nonsense.

You know exactly what you reject. You just refuse to admit it.

On

omatop

eaiiira

blewas

bhel

You cannot cannot tell me now

Now is not the time to

No. No no, no, nononononononsenseisdrowninganddrowningis...

is...

is...you don't want it to end, but you - time and time again you die.

Find yourself asking yourself, "Why? Why is this not paradise?" And then you're told that you're not There.

Not knowing that you felt the same about the mirror on the wall.

And yet that's exactly what you fear. Not the hate, not the dismissiveness, not the people telling you you're wrong. It's like they're not even there. The people laughing, the people crying. They mean nothing, saying nothing, knowing absolutely nothing. And it is this feeling which stirs the bitterness.

It was for her, that this happened, it was for her that you lied, said everything was fine.

And it's all messed up, but she still loves you.

And that scares you more than any other thought.

"Minato-kun?" Yukari asks, noticing you, finally noticing you and your pale suffering. "Is...everything okay? You look a little pale."

She talks over the masses speaking and droning over each other, and you answer with your endless Charm and bright smile, telling her everything's fine in a voice that will definitely satisfy her and make her believe there's nothing wrong.

For every word you mutter, you grow more suicidal.

sorry, college is making me sad at the moment, please, i hope this appeases you

UPDATED: 9/7/16, replaced one single word. See if you can find out what I replaced.