Downton Abbey,
January 13th 1920

Thomas stumbled inside the servants' hall while trying to rub the tiredness out of his eyes, when he realised all eyes were upon him and the disapproving look of Mr Carson.

"Where have you been, Thomas?!" He furrowed his eyebrows and bellowed "His Lordship will be awake soon!"

"Alright Mr Carson, don't give yourself a heart attack" Thomas said with a yawn and walked past the eyes that were following him "I'll be dressed soon to dress him" He headed towards the hall and the servants' staircase.

"And we are acting as footmen for tonight's dinner!" Mr Carson shouted after him. The butler puffed up his chest and pursed his lips together as it seemed that the old Thomas Barrow was now back with them.

Thomas just smirked to himself as he headed up towards his room to change into the proper attire. He had not realised how much of a mess he looked — with Matthew's stains all over his suit — not until he was undressing and the scent of his lover whiffed past his nose. Now he needed to purchase a new suit, for this one he would never use again, it now was a treasure. He dressed himself before going to the lavatories to try and freshen up the best he could. Right when he had managed to smooth the last hair strand sticking out of place the bell rang for him to attend his lordship — and he was thankful that the whole house decided to rise late from last night's festivities.

"Is something troubling you, Your Lordship?" Thomas asked and held out Robert's suit jacket for him.

"There is, as a matter of fact" Robert Crawley said and slid into the sleeves of the jacket. "It's a secret I said I would not speak to you about, but I feel guilty for not acknowledging it now that you're acting as my valet."

"I am afraid I don't know what secret you're speaking of, my lord," Thomas said, while sucking in his cheeks and pursing his lips, to hide the anxiousness from appearing on his face.

"Matthew told me everything that happened, he was afraid I wouldn't understand why he wished for you to be his caregiver — " Lord Grantham fixed his suit by its collar and then spun around " — Mr Barrow, I just wanted to thank you for saving Matthew's life on the front." He said and held his hand out.

Thomas exhaled in relief — it was not about his love for Matthew, of course it was not, why had he been so worried? Of all people, Thomas knew that Lord Grantham would be the last person Matthew ever would tell. With a puffed out chest, and one corner of his mouth curling into a lopsided smirk, Thomas accepted the handshake. "Of course, my lord, I would have done it again." He said and it was the truth.

Thomas then moved to retrieve Lord Grantham's shoes and placed them on the floor before him, wiping them down with a cloth to remove any particles of dust.

"Does it not bother you that they don't know what you did, Mr Barrow?" Lord Grantham stepped into the shoes and Thomas kneeled down to tie them for him "If they knew how you acted, I'm sure they would think very highly of you."

"We are what we are—-" Thomas said and stood up and rolled the last of the lint from the jacket then took out a set of button cuffs for Lord Grantham " —-Your Lordship"

"Even so, know that I hold you in higher regards for what you did, and I understand the bond a war can bring — " Lord Grantham said and pulled the sleeves of his shirt down from underneath the jacket " — even if the others will not."

Thomas bowed his head and he did appreciate that Robert did understand that much, but he also knew that was as far as it would go. He would not approve of much else; not Matthew treating Thomas like an equal, not them speaking casually with each other — and especially not the relationship they had. "Do you need a bag packed for your trip to London, sir?"

"No, it's quite alright, Thomas — I will be back before dinner" Lord Grantham said and Thomas left the room.

Ripon,
January 14th 1920

The whole day had been nothing but a daze in Matthew's lovesick mind and he could barely stand that it had been a whole day since he had last seen Thomas. The drive into Ripon had never looked so beautiful in Matthew's eyes, the whole world shimmered in colours that he had never seen before. If he had known acceptance of who he was would be such a bliss, he would have done it years ago and what mattered was that, in Downton Abbey, his heart awaited him.

Matthew now sat in his office, staring at a blank piece of paper with a fountain pen between his teeth. He could not remember what he was supposed to be doing; surely there had been a reason why he had laid this paper down before him? His thoughts were consumed by Thomas Barrow, his darling Thomas, and just sitting in his office was enough for him to yearn to the company of his sweetheart again. How would he come up with a plan for being together more? Surely there was something that could be done. He had thought of bringing Thomas to work for him — but what position would he hold? Matthew could not be so cruel and simply toss Mr Molesley away, so Thomas could not be a valet. Nor could he find an explanation to bring Thomas in as a footman — how would Thomas explain his reasoning for lowering himself in ranks, again, for Matthew? He doubted anyone would buy that Thomas Barrow would do such a thing, not for something that didn't secure his position in the future. Besides, the Crawley house was not quite grand enough to have a large staff — they did not tend to host anything bigger than small dinners there.

Perhaps the answer laid in Downton. It had more rooms than was being used. They were all far apart and the house had many dark corners to hide in — and there would be no reason for Thomas to come up with an excuse, since he already held a job there. However, Matthew was a practical man. He could not just simply push in, even though Robert would gladly let him do so. Cora on the other hand would be more hesitant. No, he needed a reason for it — to take an interest, invest time and money in the estate — and in the title that would be his later in life. Though he didn't nearly have enough money and he had his suspicions that Cora's money would soon run dry from the way it was currently managed.

There was a knock on the door; a man stood in its frame with a briefcase and a hat in his hands. "Mr Crawley? Your secretary said it was alright to come knocking."

Matthew dropped the pen and stood up, holding his hand out for the stranger who presented himself as Mr Fletcher, a lawyer. "Have a seat, Mr Fletcher" Matthew said and motioned towards the empty seat opposite his "What can I do for you?"

"You're the cousin of Mr James Turnbull, are you not?" He asked and reached down into his briefcase to pull out a piece of paper.

"He is my mother's cousin's son, that is correct — " Matthew said, glancing down at the paper Mr Fletcher now held. " — he left for America awhile ago"

"That he did indeed, I am sorry to inform you that he passed away a few months ago" Mr Fletcher said while adjusting his glasses, and looking down at the paper.

Matthew blinked and sat up, remembering his cousin from their youth and years at Oxford together before he went to America where their contact had ceased to exist. It still grieved him to learn this and he would mourn him. "What happened to him?"

"He walked into one of the coal mines that he owned, to prove it was safe for the miners, when it collapsed on top of him" Mr Fletcher said rather nonchalantly "Killed on impact."

Matthew furrowed his eyebrows, he had of course read about the strikes that had begun in 1919 due to dangerous and horrible situations, but he had no idea his cousin owned any of them. He would still mourn the cousin he had once known.

"In his will he left his assets and money divided by his cousins, sorry it took so long to reach you" Mr Fletcher said "There was a lot of dealing with his lawyer in Indiana."

Matthew blinked once again, confused over what was happening. Could this day grow any stranger? Were the Crawleys' about to walk through the door, shouting with happiness of how they knew about him and Thomas and blessed their union? Matthew rubbed his eyebrow with his thumb and then an envelope was slid across his desk. "I just need you to sign here, to confirm that you have received your share" Mr Fletcher said and handed Matthew the paper. After it was signed he bid Matthew farewell and he was gone as fast as he had come.

Matthew leaned back in his chair and placed the pen back in his mouth, staring at the empty seat where Mr Fletcher had sat and then at the envelope. Matthew hadn't quite processed it, sure he had been close with his cousin during their younger years but no contact had been shared between them since. He knew when he told Thomas about his day, the valet would surely have an opinion about the irony of his cousins' fate — since his darling was from a working class and most likely had some miners in his family, at least Matthew assumed so.

With a sigh Matthew reached for the envelope. With the pen between his teeth he opened it. It couldn't be much, even if there weren't that many cousins left — not on his mother's side, she was an only child just like him. With wide eyes he stared at the check within, biting down so hard on the pen that it cracked and ink bled over his lips and chin. Matthew leaned forward and ran a hand over his face while staring at the sum in disbelief.

Downton Abbey
January 14th 1920

Thomas walked through the hallway with freshly pressed shirts to bring to Lord Grantham's room. It was late afternoon and the Crawleys' were gathered in the library, enjoying tea after they all had returned from their errands during the day.

"Cousin Matthew called, he and Cousin Isobel will join us for dinner." Thomas heard Lord Grantham say, and he stopped in his steps to listen through the crack in the door.

"Oh how jolly!" Lady Edith said "I am glad to see he is finally doing better."

"I am too, I really am" Lord Grantham said earnestly.

"Perhaps it has something to do with whom he danced with at the servants' ball, hmm?" Violet Crawley, The dowager countess, said and Thomas assumed she would now be glancing at Mary — which spread a grin across Thomas' face, he knew he shouldn't feel so smug but he could not help it. They could never know, so his own satisfaction was all he could have, because he knew that no one else would hold Matthew like he had.

"Whatever made him happy, it was not me" Mary said in a monotone voice "He made that quite clear the other night."

"Oh Mary" Cora Crawley exclaimed "I'm so sorry darling."

"Don't be, it's liberating to know now that nothing can happen" She said dismissively "But I think I'll listen to your advice father and break it with Richard"

"I think that is very wise" Lord Grantham said "very wise indeed, but I am sorry about Matthew"

"So he denied you?" Old Lady Grantham said "How peculiar…. "

There wasn't much more of a conversation to be heard, as they changed the topic to how the world was already changing post-war, so Thomas continued doing what he had been doing before eavesdropping — taking the shirts up to Lord Grantham's dressing room. When he passed the grand entrance his eyes caught a sight that made him stop once again and smile. Matthew Crawley .

Thomas sucked in his cheeks, trying to hide his happiness from just seeing Matthew. His eyes darted around, no one was near, so he walked closer to Matthew who was smiling brightly back at him. Thomas pulled his lips into a pucker and let out a muffled chuckle when he saw the blue stain upon Matthew's lip.

"Did you kiss a squid?" Thomas asked and Matthew furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Thomas shook his head at the state of Matthew's face. He licked his thumb and tried to wipe the ink off. "How did that get there? Should I be jealous of a sea creature?"

Matthew felt flustered and it was his turn to look around to see if anyone was around to watch this transpire. It calmed him though, that the house seemed perfectly empty and quiet, except for the laughter he heard from the library. He seized this moment and planted a quick kiss on Thomas' lips. "It must be from the pen I was biting while I was deep in thought"

"You are very peculiar, Matthew Crawley, I will say that." Thomas stole one more kiss from Matthew's lips.

"Me, peculiar? I don't believe you have met yourself, Mr Barrow." Matthew said with a grin and brushed some lint from Thomas' jacket.

Thomas rolled his eyes and smirked at Matthew, giving him a devilish smirk he bore so well, and stared at him with eyes of pure hunger which caused Matthew to inhale deeply as he tried to think of anything but what that stare did to him. "What were you deep in thought about?" Thomas then asked and footsteps could be heard echoing through the halls.

"Servants' entrance, after dinner" Matthew said and they broke apart, putting on the act of servant and Mr Crawley again.

"They are in the library, Mr Crawley, but dinner will be served at eight tonight" Thomas said as Mr Carson appeared into the entrance.

"Mr Barrow, why haven't you brought His Lordships shirts up yet?" Carson said in annoyance as they were now back to their dance of snarky remarks and glares.

"I was just about to do so, Mr Carson, but Mr Crawley here just arrived and asked about dinner" Thomas turned his heel and threw Mr Carson eyes of frustration for being babysat in a job he knew he could do, and had done before. "And don't worry, I am his lordship's valet after all."

"For now " Mr Carson said and walked with his head held high into the library.

Thomas rolled his eyes and gave Matthew a glance "He is not happy about me being a valet in this house." Thomas said and gave Matthew a wink before he disappeared up the stairs.

Dinner was done and the Crawleys' were now enjoying drinks afterwards, in the traditional manner, and a game of cards. Thomas sat downstairs, smoking a cigarette by the fireplace, and reading this morning's paper. By the table sat Mrs O'Brien who was talking about how her nephew was just approved to be a new footman here at Downton and how she had sent word for him instantly.

"Good, that means I will be able to get rid of this livery." Thomas said, reading about the coal miner's strike in the newspaper.

"But you look so sharp in them, Thomas" The maid Maud said with a smile on her face.

"That's Mr Barrow to you" He said coolly "Thomas is for the privilege of friends only, and I see none of them in here."

"Perhaps I don't want to be a friend." Maud teased him with wicked eyes.

Thomas sighed heavily as he took to his feet and folded the paper up. He took his cigarettes to escape outside, where he would await Matthew instead.

"Give it a rest —" Mrs Patmore said " — he is not sweet on you, silly girl"

"I can't help what I want, Mrs Patmore" Maud said, glaring at her. "And maybe he will be, eventually."

"You will find it impossible to get Mr Barrow, I will tell you that." She said and shook her head, returning to the kitchen.

O'Brien looked at the door, feeling hurt that Thomas had said there were no friends in the room — especially after everything she had done for him. She looked over at Maud and let out a snort, that girl was in over her head but perhaps it could be of some use.

"Something wrong, Miss O'Brien?" Maud said irritably.

"Nothing wrong at all, nothing wrong" She said, pondering for a moment, as she thought Thomas' was growing too big for his boots.

Matthew came walking around the corner, his steps guiding him right where he wanted to be. The night wasn't too late so he peeked over the corner to see if Thomas was standing there alone — and he was. Matthew coughed loudly and it caught Thomas' attention. The valet flicked his cigarette away and began making his way over to Matthew. Once he reached him he gripped the front of his coat and pulled him into a hard kiss. Matthew parted his lips and Thomas accepted the invite of his tongue. It had only been a few hours since they had seen each other but it had been long enough for their yearning to grow.

"My Darling" Matthew said when they finally broke apart and he planted a kiss in the corner of Thomas' mouth "Aren't you cold? Why didn't you grab your coat?"

"I needed to remove myself from the servants' hall, the maid Maud is a nuisance to listen to, trying to sweet-talk me — she still hasn't given up yet." Thomas said, sounding thoroughly annoyed.

"Sweet-talk you? Should I be concerned?" Matthew teased Thomas.

"Oh yes, absolutely, I'm taking her to the pub tomorrow — I'm well chuffed to start courting her." Thomas retaliated and grinned widely, causing Matthew to back down, but it was sweet how he had tried to go up against Thomas.

"Hilarious, Thomas" Matthew said and smacked his tongue against his teeth. "How about we take a small walk down the forest path? The shed is too far away, and I am afraid I need to sleep tonight so I can try to make my plan come to fruition."

"A man with a plan, a man exactly to my taste" Thomas said and held his arm out for Matthew " —and I can never feel the cold when you are near" He said.

Matthew refused his arm and instead he took a hold of his hand, the one covered in a skin-coloured fingerless glove — a new one to cover up Thomas' scar, since one with any holes, for the fingers, at all would not be considered proper attire for a valet. They began a slow walk together through the forest that had become their refuge.

When they had made it past the first set of trees Matthew spoke "I had a strange day today"

"I figured you did, it was obvious with that ink upon your face, quite literally speaking — " Thomas said " — but go on, enlighten me."

"A lawyer came to my office today, he told me my cousin — on my mother's side — has passed away in America and, in his will, he had split his assets up between the remaining cousins." Matthew said and stopped their steps before they disappeared too far into the forest.

"I am sorry to hear that Matthew, how did this happen? Were you close?" Thomas asked with concern, running his thumb over Matthew's gloved knuckles.

"We used to be but it was years ago — " Matthew ran his tongue over his teeth and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free fingers. " — and before I tell you what happened, know that we went to Oxford together and he was a good man back then." Matthew said and then inhaled sharply "So none of your cheek."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Thomas said, believing it to be true in the moment.

"He owned mines and tried to show the miners on strike that they were perfectly safe, then when he walked in the mine collapsed on him." Matthew mumbled.

Thomas almost went red in the face from trying not to snort, he knew this was Matthew's cousin but it was somewhat ironic to a working lad; that he tried to force them to work in unsafe conditions that ultimately became his demise. "Well, that must have given his 'head a wobble"

"Thomas — " Matthew said warningly and glared at him " — I don't think he had much time to rethink anything, being dead and all." He might have been trained to speak received pronunciation, being from upper-middle class and all, but he still understood his Manchester man perfectly well.

"I am sorry, I truly am Matthew." Thomas said and put all his charm into a smile and brought Matthew's hand to his lips.

"Beware, perhaps one day your charm will wear out" Matthew said, but he knew it would never be so, for it had worked again. Matthew shook his head with a smile "You are too sure of yourself."

Thomas let out a little laugh and let his arms wrap around Matthew's waist, lacing his fingers together behind his back. "How much did he leave you?" Thomas then asked.

Matthew slipped his hand into his coat and took out his wallet, from it he held up the check that had been given him and Thomas' eyes went wide. "Bloody...does that kind of money even exist?" Thomas said in shock. He had never seen such a number before; then again he had never seen much of any money in his life, he had very little savings of his own. Perhaps that sum was not a lot to the nobles.

"It came as a blessing, Thomas, because now I know how to make this plan of mine to happen" Matthew smiled at his lover "I pondered many solutions, to hire you — but that would not seem fitting to do, to throw Mr Molesley away nor to have you become a footman in a house that is much to small for one — and what excuse would you use for such a downgrade?" Matthew bit his bottom lip " — so I thought about Downton, where there's plenty of rooms and spots — and here you could be my valet, so Mr Molesley be Cousin Robert's valet and then return to be a butler and tend to mother, also, by accepting it, you can say your position is secure, even with the return of Mr Bates."

"And why did you need money to do this? Lord Grantham sees you as a son, I am sure he would have just invited you in" Thomas asked.

"I know he would, but now I can invest in the estate — there's too many of them being lost because the world is changing and they are not changing with them, I can be part owner of the estate, live there, be a caretaker for it and build what I am set to inherit so we always shall have a place to be together — and once Downton is my house I can start peeling barriers between servants and upstairs down." Matthew said his brilliant plan, hoping it would bring a bright smile on Thomas' face; there was a hint of a smile but nothing more.

"What's wrong, isn't it a good one?" Matthew frowned.

"No, it's good.." Thomas said "But can't we just buy a house in France and run away from all of this?" He suggested with a hopeful look.

"Thomas, there's many duties I have given up for you, but I cannot give up on the estate. I shall never marry, never have an heir; but I cannot do that to the Crawleys — it does not quite seem right, does it?" Matthew said, shaking his head.

Thomas sighed and nodded, Matthew was right "Of course, a man can dream can he not?" He said but then smiled at Matthew "I just wish to be able to go somewhere, anywhere, where we can walk as equals without Earldoms and ranks."

Matthew reached up and cupped Thomas' hand "If you are my valet, you can come with me wherever I go, and I have some plans about that too."

Thomas took Matthew's face in his hands and kissed him again and again before brushing their noses together. "If you believe this to work—"

"Give me your trust in me, Thomas Barrow, I believe it will" Matthew said and gave Thomas' cheek a gentle pat before kissing him again.

Thomas nodded and his smile grew wider. "Of course you have my trust, Matthew Crawley."

"Now let's get you back, because even if you say you don't feel cold I can feel your icy skin through my glove" Matthew said and they laced their fingers together to walk back to Downton Abbey.

"I'm going to speak with Cousin Robert and, if he accepts, we shan't be apart for long, my darling." Matthew said as they stood by the edge of the forest with the stables and garage nearby. "Then, perhaps, I might need to go and visit a solicitor to draw up the deed, an old friend, perhaps that will be in Oxford, London or Manchester" Matthew looked up at Thomas with love in his eyes and a smile, taking a hold of the front of his livery jacket. "Wherever you wish to go, that is where my 'solicitor friend' will be."

Thomas closed his eyes and smiled in the way only Matthew could make him smile, with a happiness so pure. "It would be fun to go to Manchester, where we both grew up, but never knew that one day we'd meet here."

"You're such a sentimentalist, Thomas Barrow" Matthew reached his neck up and gave him a parting kiss.

"Don't you dare let anyone know." Thomas smiled into the kiss and, as they walked in different directions, they kept looking over their shoulders at each other; just to catch one last glimpse.

Thomas returned to the servants' hall and suddenly he remembered how cold he was. He sunk into the rocking chair by the fireplace. He rested two fingers on his temple and his thumb under his chin, smiling to himself.

Mrs Hughes came with a warm cup of tea for Thomas and this was the first time he had seen her since the servants' ball. With a smile, and a grateful squeeze to her hand, he accepted the tea from her and he hoped they soon could share a cup in her sitting room again.

"Cheery again, are we Mr Barrow?" Maud said from the long table in the room, leaning forwards and looking towards Thomas.

Thomas took a sip from his tea and then put it down on the saucer, turning to look at Maud with his typical expression of sucked-in-cheeks and pouting lips. "And I'd like to keep it that way" He said and tilted his head at her with a condescending smile before returning to his tea and thoughts of Matthew.

Mrs Patmore sat down next to Mrs Hughes and leaned in to whisper "She's trouble that one, I tell you Mrs Hughes."

Mrs Hughes, who had been lost in thought about feeling quite proud with herself for bringing Matthew and Thomas back together, turned her head to the cook "What was that Mrs Patmore?"

"Maud, she is trouble I tell you" Mrs Patmore motioned towards the maid who was staring at Thomas staring into the fire, with a smirk on her face.

"She hasn't given up yet, has she?" Mrs Hughes frowned "How many times has she tried since last year and been turned down?"

"Too many, she seems a bit obsessed, doesn't she?" Mrs Patmore said with a frown. "She doesn't know though, not like the rest of us."

"Know what?" Mrs Hughes said a bit too defensively before realising that she was only speaking about Thomas' preference in general and not him and Matthew.

"You know what, even Mr Carson knows even if he's happy pretending it isn't so" Mrs Patmore whispered with a shake of her head

"Oh yes, and so shall we follow Mr Carson's example, because it's not a secret that is wise to tell anyone, nor to speak about." Mrs Hughes said.

"I suppose not, and Thomas can take care of himself, but she has trouble on her mind, I tell you that." Mrs Patmore said and stood up to bring a fresh pot of tea.