TW – suicidal ideation and mentions of alcoholism
"Mist," Lizzy whispered into the dark room. "You awake?"
"Yeah," Misty said from her makeshift bed on the floor next to Lizzy's bed. She'd been sleeping in her sister's room since she'd gotten back. Her bedroom never really felt like hers – her parents used it as a dumping ground for all their old furniture, despite having the whole rest of the house to do that. She knew they did it on purpose – it was their way of telling her she wasn't welcome in their home. But she didn't mind. There was nothing in her room she wanted, anyway, and who knew when she'd be able to see Lizzy again? She didn't mind sleeping on the floor if it meant she could be close to her sister. Besides, she'd heard that sleeping on hard surfaces was good for the back.
"I wanna ask you a question and I need you to be honest."
"Okay," Misty said slowly, wondering what Lizzy could want to ask her.
"Have you met someone?"
Misty nearly choked. "What?" How the hell had Lizzy guessed?
Lizzy rolled her eyes. Misty couldn't see her do it, but she knew that she did, the sarcastic little shit. "Have you met someone?" she repeated.
"Why do you ask?"
"You're happy."
"Yeah," Misty admitted. "I am."
"So," Lizzy said. "What's her name?"
Misty smiled up at the ceiling, picturing Cordelia's beautiful face. God, she missed her. She wondered if Cordelia was asleep right now – what had she been doing the past week, Misty wondered? "Cordelia."
"Pretty name," Lizzy offered.
"I thought you didn't like it," Misty said quietly, wishing there was enough light for her to see her sister's facial expressions.
"Didn't like what?" Lizzy asked.
"That I'm sapphic. I thought you didn't like it."
Lizzy sighed, and averted her eyes. "I don't. I think it's a sin, and unnatural. I know it's not – doesn't make sense for it to be – but it's real hard to get rid of somethin' I've been taught all my life. But I love you, and that won't ever change so long as you keep buyin' me candy."
"That's not gonna change either."
"It better not!" Lizzy laughed, and threw a pillow at Misty.
Her sister's statement both stung and warmed Misty. She knew it wasn't Lizzy's fault she thought that way – it was her parents, the church, their old pastor who were speaking through her sister – but it still hurt to hear those things come out of her mouth. She did appreciate the rest of what Lizzy said, though – it was good to know she would always have an ally in her sister.
"Tell me about her."
"I wish you could meet her. She's kind. Super smart. Beautiful. She – Lizzy, we're gonna run away together." It slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it, and Lizzy became the second person to know about their plan after Zoe.
"What?"
"Me and Cordelia. We can't stay at that school anymore. They beat us for the tiniest little things – one time I got beat so bad I couldn't walk for a week. My knee still ain't right." Misty left out that the reason she'd been beaten was because she called Miss Venable a whore. That part wasn't important.
"But runnin' away – isn't that a little extreme?" Lizzy asked nervously.
"Not in this case, Liz, you gotta believe me. I know that if I stay there, I'll die."
"Where are you gonna go?"
Misty felt so guilty. She wanted to tell Lizzy so bad – but she knew they couldn't risk even one other person knowing. It was just too dangerous. "I don't know."
Lizzy scoffed. She always saw straight through Misty's lies. "Bullshit, you don't know. Tell me."
"Liz, I can't."
"Why not?"
"I just can't," Misty said sadly. "I shouldn't have even told you we were runnin' away."
"Mist, I'm gonna worry about you so much. At least tell me where you'll be."
"I can't tell you. I won't tell you," said Misty firmly, wishing Lizzy would drop it – she was making Misty feel terrible about the whole thing.
Lizzy's face went red, and she rolled over, facing away from Misty.
"Oh, come on, Liz. Don't be like that."
Lizzy didn't reply, staying stubbornly quiet.
"Liz." There was still no reply – Lizzy could be very stubborn when she wanted to.
"I'll write you," Misty promised.
Finally, Lizzy rolled over and looked at her again. "That ain't good enough."
"What do you want me to do?" Misty said loudly, trying not to raise her voice anymore. "Stay at that school where I'll be punished for even breathin' in Delia's direction? Stay there till they beat me so much I break a bone? Stay there till I kill myself?" She had never said it aloud before, but the thought of suicide had been on her mind constantly before she met Cordelia. She had never made plans, but some days… some days at that school were so dark Misty was surprised she was still here. "I can't, Liz, I just can't. I love you, I love all of you, but this is the only way."
Lizzy had softened at the mention of suicide, as if it made her realise how real this all was. "At least let me help you."
"Help me? How can you help me?"
"I got money," Liz said. She began to climb out of bed.
Misty shook her head. "No, Lizzy, I ain't takin' your money."
"I ain't lettin' you leave without it."
"I won't take it."
"Please, Misty, I've been savin' and stealin' since Christmas. Let me give it to you."
"No, Liz, that's your money," Misty protested. She'd feel bad enough for leaving Lizzy behind – she couldn't take her money, too. "Buy somethin' nice – some books, some new clothes, a bike –"
"I want to give it to you," Lizzy insisted, holding out the piggy bank. "It's my money and that's what I want to do with it."
Misty knew that Lizzy wouldn't drop it until she took the money. She could return it later, without Lizzy knowing. "I'll take half of it."
"All of it."
Misty crossed her arms. "Half or none."
"Fine," Lizzy grumbled. She turned the piggy bank upside down, and a rainfall of cash tumbled out. There had to be at least a hundred in there. A coin bounced onto the ground with a clatter.
Misty's mouth fell open – it was the most cash she'd seen in person before. And that was saying something, considering her parents were alcoholic lottery winners. "Holy shit, Liz, you been sellin' drugs or somethin'?"
"Nah. Ma and Pa forgot my birthday – same as last year – so they gave me a bunch of money instead," she said, so casually she almost managed to hide the sadness in her voice. "Oh, and there was also the money I stole from Ma when she was blackout."
Misty grabbed a handful of the cash and brought it close to her face – part of her couldn't believe it was real. They'd spent so long in poverty when she was a kid she still felt awe-struck when she saw money, even though they'd had plenty of it for years now. It never ceased to amaze her that a little green piece of paper could get someone so far in life. "Didn't she notice when she woke up?"
Lizzy shrugged. "I convinced her she drank it all. She was so hungover she believed me."
Misty laughed. "You're a fuckin' con, artist, Liz."
Lizzy grinned cheekily, her dimples showing. "I take pride in it."
"I'll miss you, you know."
"You'd better."
"How could I not?" Misty said, climbing out of bed and hugging her sister close.
Lizzy pressed a kiss to her cheek, and Misty smiled. "Goodnight, Misty."
"Night, Lizzy. Love you," Misty said, clambering back into her makeshift bed on the floor.
"Love you too," Lizzy mumbled sleepily. "Bitch."
Misty paused and listened as Lizzy's breathings got deeper. When she was certain her sister was asleep, she covered her mouth with her hand and let out the tears. She felt terrible for leaving her sister behind, and wished there was some way to take her with them – she knew that there wasn't. Lizzy would never leave the little kids, and plus, Misty didn't want to disrupt her education. Also, surely it would be considered kidnaping if she and Cordelia took Liz with them – Liz was a minor, after all. It hurt her to leave, but she couldn't stay at the school, she knew that. And neither could Cordelia. It would kill them both if they stayed – in more ways than one. Misty knew that running away was their only option – so why did she feel so goddamn guilty about it?
$100 was like $2000 in 1950, just a reminder.
Chapter title from 'The Highwayman" by Stevie Nicks.