Disclaimer: I do not own High School DxD, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Harry Potter, and Rifts
Major AU: Do not expect this story to strictly follow canon for High School DxD.
Key: "Talking" 'Thought' [Sacred Gear] (Pailamancy or Telepathy) *Technique*

Introductions

'This is not my hotel room,' Xander's internal monologue started the moment he was awake. His time in Africa had conditioned him to wake immediately and assess the situation in a flash. His eye darted around the room quickly evaluating what would make a decent weapon and where the exits were. Then he evaluated his kidnappers, for that is the only thing they could be. He'd just laid down for a nap before patrol and suddenly he was elsewhere. 'There are four of them. One male. Three females. They look young, but it's probably a disguise. Red and Black are powerful magically. Prince Charming moves like Angel. Little White moves like a Slayer. Fuck, I am so screwed.'

"Just relax, Xander-san, we only want to talk," Rias Gremory knew something was off in the way Xander had woken up. Most people she knew were disorientated for a few moments after waking. She could plainly see that Xander was evaluating the situation and planning an escape. She'd seen young Koneko do the same thing for the first few weeks after she'd been given to her, "None of us are… GAAAGGGHHH!"

Xander had palmed the magic flashbang the moment he'd realized he was not in his hotel room. He just waited for the perfect moment to utilize it. Since everyone was looking at him, preparing for him to either accept or reject the offer he acted. Immediately the room was filled with light and a loud bang. The magic of the device kept him from being blinded or deafened. He was up in a flash grabbing the Prince Charming and literally throwing him at Red and Black, causing all of them to crash into Little White. The descended into a tangle of limbs, which he then tipped the couch onto. This allowed him time to throw a heavy lamp through the window before he took a running jump out of it.

The three story fall was painful, but not at all lethal considering Xander landed on soft turf. He didn't even look back to see if his kidnappers were in pursuit. He simply ran towards the fence he saw in the distance. Once he was over that, he head ran down several alleys, changing directions randomly until he was sure he'd lost any possible pursuit.

"Alright, you lost them. Now it's time to call in the big guns," Almost breathless, Xander pulled out his cellphone and punched in the Watcher Councils Emergency Line.

"WELCOME TO NAUGHTY SLUT HOTLINE! ALL OF OUR GIRLS ARE JUST WAITING FOR YOU! THEY'VE BEEN EXTRA BAD SO SPANK THEIR PHAT ASSES BEFORE YOU FUCK THEM RAW! WE ACCEPT ALL..."

Xander almost dropped the phone, he'd been so shocked. Shutting off the phone he checked the number and dialed again.

"WELCOME TO NAUGHTY SLUT HOTLINE!.."

"What the…" Xander muttered as he shut off the phone. The number he'd dialed had a fidelius on it. It literally could not be dialed unless you were in on the secret. It had been a spell Willow came up with after she saw Order of the Phoenix. "I am getting a mild case of the wiggins here. Okay, when in doubt call Willow."

"You've reached Alysson Hannigan's message line. I really care about my fans so leave a name, e-mail, and a message and I will send you a personalized information packet about my convention tour dates. Oh and join me as I reunite with Nicholas Brendan on March 17 for Karaoke in Bedford Falls, New York."

Hanging up again, Xander just stared at his phone. He knew that name. Willow had joked about how much they looked alike when they saw the American Pie movie. They had actually contacted Miss Hannigan through a very similar message service. He also knew of Nicholas Brendan from Criminal Minds and the resemblance was just as wigsome.

"Okay, we have been upgraded to a seven on the wiggin's scale," Xander muttered as he dialed Buffy's number.

"Sarah Michelle Gellar's phone, who may I say is calling?"

Xander hung up before he could even utter a sound. His finger blurred through Giles personal number, one that only the core Scoobies had. Once the phone was picked up and he heard a familiar hello he just started talking, "Giles, it's me. Something is wrong. I dialed the Watcher Hotline and got a phone sex line. I called Willow and it was Alysson Hannigan's message line and…"

"Bloody Hell, Nick, are you drunk again? This is Anthony, not Giles," Anthony Head groaned out as he listened to the panicked man, "Just relax and take a few deep breaths. This is just like last time. Go drink a bottle of water, a nice cup of coffee and take a nap. I'll call your wife and she'll pick you up."

{Author Note: Please don't kill me for this, bit it kinda begged to be done.}

Xander just looked at the phone and started laughing. Clicking the off button he slipped it back into his pocket. "They must have used a confusion spell on me. Oh poor Nick, he's about to get in trouble for something he didn't do."

…

"How can every store be closed, it's only...four AM?" Xander stared at the clock in confusion. 'It's bright as day out here and since it's too warm to be the Arctic, something is wrong.' While he had developed excellent night vision over the years, it was nothing like what he was experiencing now. Glancing at the sky he noted it was heavily overcast which meant it should have been nearly pitch black on the streets he was travelling. "Alright, I am officially getting a bad vibe."

"Well, you should be," Came an answer in a voice not unlike a dog's snarl, "You're about to die."

"I have heard that one too many times," Xander's whole demeanor changed in just an instant. He was no longer worried about where he was, who had kidnapped him, or why he could see in the dark. Instead he had a very convenient method of relieving some of his stress. Turning around to face the speaker he offered a lopsided grin, "So, can I have a name for my report. Not that they let me turn them in anymore, but I still like to write them for fun."

"You're funny, trash, I'll make your death quick," snarled the figure as it threw off it's cloak and stood to its full height of nine feet tall. The first thing anyone would notice was it was covered in mangy scabrous hide with tufts of white fur sticking out here and there on its body. Despite standing straight up now it clawed hands could easily touch its backward facing knees. A pair of collie like tails wagged behind its back and it's head was canine but of an indistinct breed. A pair of dull red eyes stare down at Xander as if daring him to scream. "But the name is Ripper."

"Well, now I have another reason to put you down, Fido," Xander said as he reached behind his back and activated the dimensional space Willow had created for him. In less than the blink of an eye he'd brought out a Mare's Leg and pulled the trigger before racking the lever and firing a second shot. Two .454Casull Silver Hollow Points slammed into the dog-like demon's stomach knocking it back two feet from the two impacts and causing it to double over in pain. Racking the lever again, Xander aimed for the head to deliver the coup d grace, "I'd say it's nothing personal, but I hate lying."

Taking the moment to quip was not wise. As Xander had delivered his line, Ripper backhanded the Mare's Leg out of his hands. As the gun slid along the pavement, Ripper surged forward delivering a solid punch to Xander's midsection. The result lifted the man off his feet and then sprawled him out on his back.

"I'm going to eat you alive," Ripper roared as he pounced on the downed man intending to tear him to chunks with claws and bite.

"Bad Dog." Koneko Toujou deadpanned as she grabbed Rippers leg and pulled him off of Xander before he could do any damage. The tiny waif of a girl lifting the monstrous dog as if he was a baton. Not even a moment later she slammed the beast down on the pavement creating a large crack in the sidewalk, "Xander-senpai is not a chew toy."

"The Gremory cat? Your Bitch of an owner must be around," Ripper rolled to his feet revealing he was only minorly injured by being slammed to the ground, "After I kill you, I'll breed her."

"Oh I am indeed here, Ripper," Rias Gremory announced as she glided down to a landing, "But you won't be doing anything but dying today. Kiba, immobilize him."

"At once. Buchou," Kiba Yuuto blurred into motion, drawing forth a Sword of Sharpness from his Sacred Gear. There was the sound of two slashes and Kiba came to stop in front of Xander guarding him from any attack. "It is done."

"You missed," Ripper taunted before he took a step forward. Immediately he toppled off of most of his legs. There were two clean cuts across his thighs. Arterial red blood sprayed out of the stumps. "AAAAAGGGGHHH!"

"Akeno, it's your turn." Rias instructed as she began to walk over towards Xander..

"Oh goody, I get to play," Akeno Himejima's Yamato Nadeshiko facade melted away as she approached the prone form of Ripper. The smile on her face promised a lot of pain and the fact she would enjoy delivering it. "Try not to die quickly, Ripper-san."

With that the Devil known as the Priestess of Lightning called down bolt after bolt of lightning. Each one striking the canine demon in a new spot. Ripper howled in pain as his muscles spasmed and his flesh charred under the assault.

"Are you alright, Xander-san?" Rias was not watching the show. She had seen Akeno work before and would again. Instead she was examining Xander, showing a great deal of concern in her eyes as she looked for signs of wounds or bleeding, "Are you wounded?"

Xander for his part was breathless. Ripper's punch had literally knocked the wind from him as well as bruising a few ribs. He was forced to watch as his supposed kidnappers literally tore apart a demon who hit him harder than any Vampire or Demon ever head. If he had to rate it, he'd have to place the punch as equivalent to the love tap he took from Olaf's Hammer. "Knocked… wind… out… of ….me… bruised… ribs."

"Oh, my poor Pawn," Rias fawned over Xander like she would any over her peerage if they were injured, "Just try to catch your breath. I'll handle Ripper and then we can be properly introduced."

At the mention of the word Pawn a pain ripped through Xander's head. Closing his eyes reflexively, he sunk into a memory not his own. In the span of a second he witnessed the fight with Vizier and Rias explaining the Evil Pieces. 'She means I am literally a Pawn, not figuratively.'

"Ripper, you have forsaken your rightful King and fled his service," Rias proclaimed as she stood over the twitching demon. A softball sized orb of black-red energy in her right hand. "You have preyed on Humans and attacked my Precious Servant. In the name of the Four Satans I sentence you to obliteration." As she spoke the final word she slammed the orb into Ripper causing him to be consumed in flames, leaving nothing left, not even a scorch mark on the pavement. "Akeno, clean the scene. Koneko, carry Xander-san back to the Clubroom. Kiba, escort Koneko."

"Yes, Buchou," Came the simultaneous replies.

…

"I feel like a such a girl," Xander grumbled as Koneko carried him bridal style to the couch he had been laying on before. Deciding to ham it up a bit, Xander adopted an adoring look as he stared into Koneko's eyes, "Promise me we'll live happily ever. I'll stay home with the kids while you bring home the bacon. You'll come home and I'll rub your feet after serving you homemade cookies and hot chocolate. Our kids will show you the pictures they drew of their mommy kicking ass."

Koneko stopped dead in her tracks. The normally stoic girl blushed just the tiniest bit as Xander described the domestic scene. It was a little backwards from her ideal, but it was still sweet. For just a moment she got lost in her own fantasy, but was brought back to reality by a familiar chuckle. It was then she realized Xander was joking, not in a mean way, but just something to elicit some sort of response, "Xander-senpai… you are the worst."

Kiba Yuuto couldn't help the chuckle that such a request inspired. It was made all the funnier by Xander's tone of voice and Koneko's reaction. 'It takes a lot to get any sort of emotional response from Koneko. The fact that Xander can do it so easily is either a good thing, or very, very bad.' Recovering his composure, Kiba just shook his head as Koneko roughly dumped Xander on the couch.

"That's so cold, Koneko-chan," Xander pouted a bit as he carefully adjusted his position on the couch. He wasn't sure why he included the suffix, but it just felt right. Seeing Koneko's unflinching cold stare, he couldn't help but continue the teasing a little, "And yet it's still better than the last time I was rejected by a tiny blonde with super-strength, so hope springs eternal."

"Tch…" Koneko's rightbrow twitched a bit as she forced herself not to respond. Turning away from Xander she made her way to her usual seat and immediately started on one of the few cookies to survive the chaos earlier.

"Was it something I said?" Xander turned his attention to Kiba as he asked that. 'Ah, I missed this.'

"Yes," Kiba responded succinctly.

"Ah, I thought so," Xander sighed in faux realization, "It seems I put my size thirteen in my mouth again. You'd think I'd be better at Yoga considering how often I do that."

'Where did the serious warrior go?' Kiba shook his head as he tried and failed to completely suppress his mirth. A genuine smile replaced the one he kept as part of his mask. "Well if you don't properly warm up first you'll just pull muscles."

"Ah, see that's the problem," Xander nodded sagely, "I never know when I am going to be tasting foot until it happens."

"You should warm up every day then," Koneko offered in between bites of her peanut butter cookie.

…

Rias Gremory stepped out of the transport circle carrying two shopping bags and a slight smile on her lips. "Ah, I see you didn't try to make another escape attempt. Xander-san."

"I didn't see a point to it," Xander said as he twitched his head so he could see Rias without moving his torso, "My ribs still ache. None of my contact numbers work. I even tried calling out to Willow mentally, but the person I felt on the other end was not her." He quickly recited his reasons. Seeing the bags in her hands, Xander couldn't help but blurt out what he was thinking, "Harrod's? A little retail therapy for dealing with moi?"

"If that was the case I would have brought everyone and had you carrying the bags," Rias responded with a wide smile,

"It did not escape my attention that you needed some necessities and I refuse to provide my precious servants with substandard clothing and toiletries. I would have shopped locally, but it is only five in the morning."

"Buchou?" Koneko looked hopefully at the bags.

"I did not forget you, Koneko," Rias reached into the left bag and pulled out a Terri's Chocolate Orange tossing it to the young lady.

Koneko caught the box in midair and had it opened in under a second, "Thank you, Buchou."

"You're welcome," she continued as she pulled out a copy of Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking and handing it to Kiba. "I know you have been looking for a new copy of this."

"Oh yes," Kiba gave another real smile as he clutched the book. His last copy had been destroyed by a faulty soy sauce bottle, "Thank you, Buchou."

Akeno Himejima appeared not a second later carrying bags of her own, "Ara Ara, did you go shopping without me. Buchou?"

"Just for Xander's essentials, Akeno," Rias replied with a nod to her Queen and sister in all but blood, "There is a new riding crop for you as well."

"You are too generous," Akeno smiled, "I decided to bring a snack as we haven't had much sleep. Thank Mou we do not have classes tomorrow."

"One thing I haven't had to worry about for almost seven years now," Xander chuckled as everyone muttered how they were lucky for once, "I want to apologize for my little freak out before. I've been the target of kidnappings and abductions WAY too many times because I was the weakest link." Xander's apology was made in a more sober voice, "As for getting me essentials, It's hardly necessary, Once I get in touch with the Council they'll take me off your hands."

"Oh, Xander-san, there is much we have to discuss," Rias sighed as she gently lifted his hand and then placed it in her lap after she sat down. She had channeled a little Devil Power into her pawn as she did so in order to keep his ribs from flaring with pain, "When you attempted to contact Willow, you were touching upon my mind. I just haven't figured out how to respond yet. You see, your world is a work of fiction here. A pair of Television shows called Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the Series."

"Angel's show was just called Angel, Buchou," Koneko corrected Rias. "Gya-kun told me."

For once in his life, Xander Harris was completely struck dumb by something someone else said. He would have laughed it off as a particularly poor ruse, but ever since he lost the eye nobody could lie to him effectively. Baby Slayers particularly hated that he could always root out the truth. After a minute of silence he had just one thing to say, "Make with the splainy."

…

"... and here we are," Rias finished the hour long explanation of everything Xander needed to know about his present situation, from the Great War to what Devils actually did to how he had come to this new world. She had answered his serious questions as they came up. All that was really left convincing him to stay with her peerage and hopefully come to see them as friends.

"And because a *Night of Masks* only works with general archetypes or fictional characters you can't even use it to get your friend back," Xander would readily admit he researched the spell that had caused so much chaos, but had also left him a few tools. Casting it was well beyond his ability, but he had never planned to.

"Friend is a strong term," Koneko said without missing a beat, "But he was not too bad."

"Koneko-chan has a deep dislike of perverts and Issei was…" Akeno started to explain, but had to pause for a moment to consider how best to describe Issei and still respect the dead.

"...a proud super pervert," Kiba decided to finish for Akeno. While he wasn't close to Issei, it was easy to see the boy would take such a statement as a compliment.

"Exactly," Koneko nodded before going back to paying more attention to the cake Akeno had brought, "You are a vast improvement, Xander-senpai."

"Please let's remember that Issei was improving," Rias couldn't exactly chastise Koneko as the younger devil was just giving her honest opinion. 'Later I will have to speak to her about tact again.' "Xander-san, none of us expect you to be another Issei. Nor do we wish to make you forget your friends and family. We are hoping that eventually you will come to accept us as friends."

"Well, even if I had another choice I would find the offer very tempting," Xander's usual bluntness came out in full force, "But I really don't have one. I don't want to become like Fido nor do I have anywhere to go. From what you described you do your best to keep this town safe, and I can definitely work with that."

Rias was so relieved that she wasn't going to lose her newest servant that she surged forward and hugged him tight. Of course she did this by shoving Xander's face into her cleavage.

"Ufufufu, already temping Xander-kun with your body, Buchou, how forward of you,"

…

"Well, I am off on Patrol," Xander called out as he shrugged on his leather jacket. Everyone had slept most the day away waking up in time to have an afternoon brunch before they'd had to concentrate on their homework. Xander had attempted his normal PT routine, but found his younger body was lacking. He's still managed three quarters of them, so he had hope he could improve. "Does anyone want anything while I am out?"

"Chocolate," Koneko did not even look up from her Geometry homework as she spoke, "and Cheetos."

"Strawberry Kit Kat," Kiba responded without missing a beat. He was confident that Xander could handle himself after witnessing him working his katas. 'It's not like he'll come across two mid-class strays in less than twenty four hours.' He tossed Xander a money clip with a few thousand yen, "and a Mountain Dew Code Blue. Two Liter if they have it."

"I'd like some Pocky," Akeno flashed a sultry smile at Xander, "I need to teach you to play the game after all."

"Okay, Chocolate and Cheetos for Koneko-chan, Strawberry Kit Kat and Blue Dew for Kiba-san, and Pocky for Himejima-san," Xander repeated the list, "Buchou, I'm headed out. Do you want anything?"

"Going out? What? Why are you going out?" Rias had been so absorbed in her statistics homework she had been oblivious to everything, "We can send my Chiro-chan for snacks." With that, Rias summoned her familiar, a crimson Bat that hovered above her hand for a moment before gliding to a spot she could transform into an attractive black haired woman.

"I'm going on patrol. You know, look around for bad things that want to kill people," Xander explained trying not to sound condescending as he did so, "I'm bored and need to stretch my legs."

"Alright, but Chiro-chan will be watching over you just in case anything happens," Rias had truly considered not letting Xander patrol. There were still the Fallen Angels in her territory and she didn't trust them to not make an attempt on Xander. This morning he'd almost been killed by a Mid-class Stray if they hadn't found him. On the other hand she didn't want to make Xander feel as if he was a prisoner. "And don't engage any Strays you see, just reconnoiter and report back here."

'Well, at least she didn't insist I needed a team to guard me while I patrol,' Xander gave a half smile and nodded to Rias,
"No problem. Unless they confront me, I got no problem just scoping them out. I'll get you some Daifuku and some Dots." With that Xander was out the door with Chiro-chan in tow.

"Alright, which one of you told him?"

A/N: Next Chapter will be the introduction of our favorite Nun Asia Argento. Also I have a poll on my Profile page. Please answer it with some thought. If you have an interesting thought about what Xander might have in his Pocket Dimension, just let me know via PM. Do not put it in a Review.