Xander DxD

Disclaimer: I do not own High School DxD, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Harry Potter, and Rifts, Nor do I own The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, Blade III, Army of Darkness, or the Orville. If you recognize anything I don't own it.

Major AU: Do not expect this story to strictly follow canon for High School DxD.

Key: "Talking" 'Thought' [Sacred Gear] (Pailamancy or Telepathy) *Technique*

TANSTAAFF!

"What the hell was that?" Kiba Yuuto was flat on his back staring up at the sky, his ears ringing, and his whole body felt like one massive bruise. He didn't need to look around to know that Akeno, Koneko, and even Rias were all in similar positions. "I thought we told him no flashbangs!"

Koneko was curled up into a ball of pain. Confident there would be no flashbang she had opened her senses fully. Now she was paying an awful price as it felt like giants were striking a gong over and over again in her ear.

"Ara ara, my naughty kohai has an S-side," Akeno all but purred even as she stayed still so as to avoid throwing up.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear a thing over the ringing in my ears," Rias responded as she tried to sit up, only to have a wooden bokken placed to her throat. "You cheated."

Xander just flashed that lopsided grin of his before helping Rias to her feet, then following suit with Kiba, Akeno and finally Koneko. He did feel a little sorry for Koneko being hurt so badly, but it was better the point was illustrated this way and not on an actual battlefield. "Alright, you should be able to hear me now. Does anyone want to venture a guess as to why you lost so badly."

"You cheated," Rias repeated in a slight huff, "We said no Flashbang and you used one."

"Xander-senpai is a cheat." Koneko nearly hissed. 'Xander-baka giving me a migraine.'

Akeno's eyes lit up with an unholy combination of wrath and lust. "Ara ara, Xander-kun needs to be punished."

"This wasn't a fair fight," Kiba groaned as he nursed some of the tiny bruises littering his body.

"One thing you all need to get through your heads right now, TANSTAAFF!" Xander was tempted to adopt his Drill Sergeant Harris voice, but decided to save that for later, "There's Ain't No Such Thing As A Fair Fight! Fair is for board games. The enemy will cheat, you should do the same. Of course I used a flashbang. I don't have Koneko's strength and durability. I don't have Kiba's speed. I don't have Akeno's or Rias' magic. What I do have is a lot of combat experience and a ton of tricks up my sleeve. After the flashbang stunned the lot of you, I tripped the training claymores I planted here before you all arrived. If I had been a Fallen Angel or an Exorcist you'd all be dead now. Hell forbid some Stray Devil with military training gets the drop on you."

"So not only do we have a lot of work to do on learning how to cheat, but on our situational awareness as well," Rias groaned as she began to rub her temples.

"Yep, but it won't take too long," Xander gave a wolfish grin, "Two hours of group training a day then surprise individual sessions should instill the proper level of constant vigilance and a nice repertoire of dirty tricks by the end of the month. Or it could trigger a paranoid psychotic break. "

"We're doomed." Koneko groaned.

…
…

"And why am I carrying you all the way to my house again?" Xander wasn't sure if he was in Paradise or Tartarus at the moment. Rias Gremory, arguably one of the sexiest women he'd ever seen, let alone touched, was riding him piggy back style. She was so exhausted that she was slumped against him, pressing those wonderful breasts into his back.

"Because you wore all of us out with training, you brute," Rias' teasing tone made it clear she was far from upset about the ordeal. She had learned a lot from Xander in just one day. 'I'd never considered using the *Power of Destruction* as a shield before. I just wish he hadn't driven us into the ground so hard,' Rias snuggled into her pawn's back a little more, "I barely had enough energy to send everyone else home."

"Alright, I get that, and I fully accept responsibility for wearing you out. I should have started with conditioning drills," Xander conceded as he continued down the street, "And arguably using six pitching machines to lob baseballs at you for dodging practice was little much, but that doesn't explain why you want to go to my house."

"I'm too exhausted to bathe myself let alone cook dinner," Rias explained with a small grin of her own. It had been nearly a week since Xander's appearance in her life. The time for mourning the loss of Issei was coming to a close, after all she'd only known him for a few weeks. Now was the time for her to start really teasing her new servant, "I thought you, being the gentleman you are, could help me, Xander-kun~."

Pausing in his tracks, Xander nearly dropped Rias. That was partially due to shock, and partially the mental imagery of helping bathe Rias. He'd never been accused of having a poor imagination, but at this moment it was causing an issue. Not only were his jeans getting tight, his mind was entering the dangerous blue screen of death mode. "B-bathe you?"

"Oh does someone have fantasies about sharing a bath with me?" Rias cooed in Xander's ear as she used what little energy she had to wriggle against him. 'I could have so much fun with this.' "Well it's your lucky night, Xander-kun."

"Ever since I read the Kama Sutra," Xander nodded as his face fell into a goofy grin, "I've wanted to help a girl bathe like a husband is supposed to help his wife. Cordelia and I never moved past second base. Faith's idea of romance was giving a ten minute warning. Anya, for all that I loved her, didn't see the point if there weren't orgasms to be had. After Sunnydale I just never seriously dated another girl, despite what those comics say. So one lifelong Xander fantasy just never got fulfilled."

"Hmm, I've never actually read the Kama Sutra, I assumed it was just a sex book," Rias mused as Xander seemed to get his bearings back, "But if that what my Xander-kun wants as a reward for training us all so well, then he can bathe me after every session."

"You win this round, Buchou-chan."

"Oh me, I've stumbled upon the great Rias Gremory when she's too exhausted to even lift a finger," The gleeful edge to Kalawarner's voice spoke volumes of just what she would love to do to the crimson haired Devil. Flipping her navy blue hair back over her shoulder the sultrily dressed fallen angel formed a golden *Light Spear*, "And she's riding such a tempting morsel. I'll tell you want, Gremory-san, surrender now and I'll let you watch as I rape your boytoy before you die. Raynare made me miss out on enjoying the pervert."

Flashback

"But why?" Issei Hyoudou asked as he clutched the lightspear protruding from his belly.

"I thought you could have at least one day of happiness before you died, Issei-kun," Raynare wouldn't look into his eyes, "Kala would have spent the day raping you. Dohnaseek would have played with you like a cat does a mouse. As for Mittelt…" Raynare visibly shuddered, "...you don't need that imagery before you die."

"Why… me…?" Issei coughed up some blood as Raynare had dissipated the spear.

"You have some Sacred Gear that is scaring their boss shitless," Raynare sighed, "Now just stop talking, it just makes it more painful. Just drift off to sleep and soon you'll be in paradise."

End Flashback

"You're the Kala that Raynare warned Issei about," Xander's voice dipped into a low rumbling growl as he began to set Rias on her feet. "I hate rapists," He muttered as he flicked out his hands a metallic cha-chink echoing in the street as the Dragon's Hand Twice Critical manifest on both hands. "Bring it."

[Twice Critical]

"Ah, so the little pervert lived long enough to tell his tale. Ray-tan must be getting soft," Kalawarner cackled as she casually threw her *Light Spear* at Xander before forming another one, "Yes, I am Kalawarner. Remember it as you'll be screaming it when you beg me to stop."

Xander was almost insulted at the softball slow approach of the first light spear. He'd practiced with his slayers on dodging spears that they threw at full speed. Surging forward he backhanded the attack away, ignoring the searing pain it caused in his arm even through the gauntlet. Wrapping one hand around Kalawarner's throat, Xander's hand was just large enough to start a good blood choke.

Kalawarner's eyes widened in shock. 'Fuck he's fast!' She tried to pull away from the hand gripping her throat only to feel the fingertips squeeze even harder. In her panic she had forgotten she had even formed another spear for a moment. However that moment passed and she tried to drive the weapon into Xander's gut.

Xander saw the flash of movement and acted quickly. Grabbing Kala's arm by the wrist he savagely twisted it causing a very audible crack as he broke both ulna and wrist in one motion. The *Light Spear* dissipated but unfortunately the distraction and Xander's blindspot left him open.

"ARRRGGGH! YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!" Kalawarner screamed rage as the adrenalin began flowing. Forming another *Light Spear* and shoving it into the arm that was holding her throat,

"RAAARGGGGH!" Xander's roar of pain echoed down the street as he tossed Kalawarner away from him, His left arm was limp by his side as the *Light Spear* dissipated showing that not only had his bicep and tricep been pierced but his humerus was severed. Despite this, Xander was still standing, "You ruined my shirt. I liked this shirt."

'Dear God, he should be on the ground moaning about how much pain he is in. Not looking at me like he's deciding if my ribcage would make a nice hat.' Kalawarner backpedaled away from what she assumed was a deranged monster. It was amazing how quickly she could go from angry to scared, "Nooo! STAY AWAY!" With that she jumped into the air and began flying at her top speed back to the Church.

Rias was astonished. She'd been prepared to act using the last of her magical reserves to kill the Fallen to save Xander, but it had been unnecessary. In less than five seconds, Xander had wounded and driven off Kalawarner all on his own. Unfortunately he had taken a rather horrific wound doing so. 'Damn it, I have enough magic to close the wound, but that's it."

Xander panted out a few deep calming breaths as he carefully tucked the Primal back in the cage. He hated letting it loose as it tended to go completely overboard. Now that the adrenalin was fading, Xander could feel all his wounds. 'Fuck, I really did a number to myself. I'm getting sloppy' Reaching behind his back with his good hand he grabbed one of the special bottles out of his dimensional pocket. "Buchou-chan, I am going to need some help... Please."

"Of course, Xander-kun," Rias rushed to his left side as she prepared the spell to staunch the bleeding only to have Xander shove what looked to be a soy sauce bottle filled with glowing green liquid inside, "Xander, I am trying to…"

"Just sprinkle this in the wounds," Xander sank to his knees as the blood loss was making him too dizzy to keep standing, "I'll… explain… after."

"Alright~" Rias quickly flicked open the top and started dashing some of the green liquid into the gaping wound on his arm. Immediately it began to fizz and then steam rose from the hole. Before Rias' eyes the missing marrow began to form attaching to two bone fragments. Xander quickly grabbed his lower arm and held it in position as deposits of calcium and bone were forming around the marrow. Blood vessels began to grow as did sinew and then skin. In just under a minute the only hint that Xander had an arm hanging by a thread was the blood that soaked his shirt and pants.

"Amazing."

"Mohra Blood, one of best healing agents in the world," Xander gently took the bottle back and started sprinkling some on the burn from batting the light spear away, "Incredibly hard to come by. I only happen to have some as there were three of them sent to kill me."

Rias stared at the bottle as if it was the most precious of treasures, "We have something like that in the Underworld, the Tears of the Phenex clan can heal and restore stamina, but they are rare."

"Well this stuff is good for healing as well as turning the undead into a normal human," Xander explained as he closed the cap and quickly tucked the bottle away, "Would have used it on Ampata, but never got the chance…"

"Well, if there is a multiverse then I am sure one of you got the chance," Rias placed a comforting hand on Xander's shoulder and then kissed his cheek, "Thank you."

"For what, Buchou-chan?" Xander was just a bit perplexed. 'I usually end up receiving an hour long lecture / rant for getting in the way.'

"Fighting off that Fallen," Rias snuggled into Xander's side just a bit, pressing her curves against him, "I could have taken her, but I likely wouldn't wake up until noon tomorrow if I had."

…
…

"OOOOoooOOOHHH MAOU!" Rias's orgasmic moans echoed in Xander's bathroom. From the cries of pleasure any eavesdroppers would assume Xander was either orally pleasuring her or fucking her stupid. The truth was much cleaner in reality, Xander was massaging her scalp as he washed her hair. "That feels sooo goood. I don't know if I could ever go back to doing it myself."

"A literal hair trigger." Xander muttered under his breath as he continued his self appointed task. Rias had insisted that he bathe with her, so he was currently pressed between the back of the tub and the crimson locked vixen. Her moans of delight from just washing her back and hair, were having a very pronounced effect on his second head, "Well, you can command me to do this for you every night. At least until you get married. I doubt your husband would appreciate a lowly commoner touching his wife."

Rias was snapped out of her orgasmic bliss at the oblique reference to her fiance. 'Maou how I hate Riser even more now. Keeping me away from my Xander.' She was tempted to refute what he said, but she had resolved not to lie to him at all. "How do you know I will be marrying another noble?"

"Only makes sense, you're practically Devil royalty from what I gathered," Xander mused as he began to rub her neck, working out the kinks that were presently trying to form. "You're the Heiress of an important family. There aren't many families that allow their heirs to marry for love. So, you're likely in a contract to another noble, but not an heir."

"One day I will convince you to tell me how you do that," Rias's voice hitched as Xander's ministrations caused another surge of pleasure, "Yes, I am betrothed to Riser Phenex the third son of the The Phenex clan." Rias paused again, struggling to find the right words, "He is a philandering pig. His peerage is full of women and it's no secret he forces himself on a number of them. His only desire in marrying me is to improve his station and to keep me barefoot and pregnant. He's already threatened to have Kiba gelded once I marry him. You are so much more a threat to him, so I have no idea of how he'll act."

Xander paused for a moment as he tried to picture the kind of jerkoff this Riser was. Images of Warren Mears came to mind. Images of the scrawny misogynist pawing at Rias flooded his imagination. He unconsciously released a slightly possessive growl at the thought, "If you want, I will gladly kill him even if they declare me a Stray."

"NO!" Rias shook her head wildly, "They'd torture you to death for that," She was shaking in panic that Xander would ignore her protest and still strike out against Riser, "I will find a way to end the engagement without losing you... or the others. We have a few years before the wedding…Right now we need to focus on rescuing that Nun friend of yours."

"...if you say so, Buchou-chan," Xander had to take a moment to clear his head. 'Wow, I almost went full Alpha Primal on the girl. I need to calm down.'

…
…

"How did I get in the bed?" Xander questioned as he opened his eye and looked to the ceiling. He'd set out his bedroll at the foot of the bed and racked out almost immediately after dinner. Now it was morning and he could tell he'd spent most the night in the same bed as Rias, both of them naked.

"You were having a nightmare," Rias sat up, seeming to not caring at all that she was exposing her lovely assets to Xander. She did note with some amusement that he was a breast man, he was just far more subtle than Issei. "I think you were fighting the man that took your eye. Caleb? It kept happening over and over and I just couldn't let you suffer."

"You levitated me into bed, stripped my clothes, and cuddled me," Xander wasn't really asking. The last time he'd had the dreams it was the mother of two of his Slayers who'd done that. Before that some of the Sunnydale survivors would have to. Hell, even Kennedy had taken a turn, then teased him about being the only man she slept with. It had never been sexual, just comfort, "Thank you, Buchou-chan."

"You are most welcome, Xander-kun," Rias grinned as she leaned down and kissed his cheek, "Although I have to ask…"

"Fought a minotaur, the locals insisted I had to eat the heart raw and thus what you see" Xander sighed as he knew exactly what she was going to ask. "Not the strangest custom I was introduced to, at least it had some positive effects."

"I'll say."

…
…

"Hyoudou-san."

Xander turned to face the familiar female voice. His eye hardened just a little and his fist clenched reflexively. 'Just keep calm. She might have killed the kid, but she wasn't a complete monster about it,' Adopting his happy to help face he addressed the fallen angel, "Raynare-san. This is an unexpected meeting. I would have set up some lovely surprises if I knew you were going to be here. If you leave and come back in an hour, I am sure I can arrange one hell of a bang."

"You really are him. When Asia-chan described you I thought some jerkoff was cosplaying as you," Raynare's voice was barely above a whisper as she spoke, "I know I don't deserve it, but I need your help. Otherwise Asia-chan is going to end up like… Issei-kun."

'What the…? Actual remorse. I didn't see that in Issei's memory.' Xander frowned for a moment, "You did kill the kid, painfully I might add. Now you're threatening to kill one of my girls, if you know who I am, you know how bad a move that is."

"I didn't want to. I don't want to kill any humans. I fell because of my love for a human," Raynare snapped back, "I'm just deep undercover. Someone in the Grigori is planning something BAD. Big capital letters, bold face, and underlined. Azazel still has no clue what it is and my assignment might give us the only warning we're gonna get." Raynare took a breath to calm down, "I've seen the series. I know you can help Asia."

Xander facepalmed for a moment, "Fuck."

"I wish," Raynare scoffed, "Our group was ordered to eliminate Issei-kun. I wasn't about to let one of those freaks torment that sweet boy…"

"He was a massive pervert, you know."

"Oh, I know, I watched him for weeks," Raynare smirked, "He would have been great boyfriend material, never complaining when I bring home girls…"

Xander raised his hand "Alright stop right there, I don't need to be sporting wood when I go back to class. Let me guess, you've been ordered to kill Asia?"

"Killing would be a kindness," Raynare huffed, "Somehow Kalawarner got her hands on the prototype Sacred Gear extractor. From what Azazel told me he had to redesign the whole thing because instead of a fast painless process it was a long torture session. Not just physical pain, but rending at the soul."

"Alright, I can make like El Mariachi, take out the others and you escape with Asia..."

"No, I need to stay undercover. Escaping with Asia would just leave her right in the path of that monster," Raynare countered with a shake of her head, "There are also fifty Rogue Exorcists holed up in that church. Tonight I will convince Freed Sellzen to interrupt a Devil Summoning and suggest he take Asia along to teach her the ropes." She paused for a moment, "Definitely kill him, if you can."

…
…

"I don't like this plan," Surprisingly it was Akeno who spoke first after Xander relayed the events of his meeting, The Yamato Nadeshiko crossed her arms under her bust as she spoke. "That Fallen is the one that killed Issei. She could be setting a trap for Xander-kun."

"Far more likely she's been discovered and the others are setting a trap without her knowledge," Xander supplied with a shrug, "As for her killing Issei, after meeting Kalawarner last night, I think she was doing the kid a favor. If you had resurrected him after that bitch was done you'd be lucky if he didn't run screaming from any female."

"Well, Raynare-san likely believes you will be arriving alone," Kiba ventured, "And likely this exorcist will set a barrier after you arrive so we can't use a normal magic circle to come to your aid. Perhaps we should turn their expectations back upon them."

"That's my thought," Xander smirked, "We don't need to wait for tonight. Sure the Student Council will get a little angry with us, but it's not the first time I skipped class for Slayage. We storm the Church now when they aren't expecting anything. Besides I have a new toy I haven't got to play with yet."

"Dare I ask what you consider a toy?" Rias eyed her pawn with a slight bit of trepidation. 'He looks far too giddy.'

"Puff the magic dragon, lived by the sea.~" Xander began to sing.

…
…

"It's time Asia," The Fallen Angel Dohnaseek held out his hand for the former nun. Even inside the Church he was dressed in his trenchcoat and fedora. "Soon you will be on your way to your reward."

"You're more than a day early Dohnaseek," Raynare sneered at the man. 'God I really hate working under them.' "Tomorrow night is the full moon. You should really learn to read a calendar."

"And really need to learn to notice when you are being followed," Mittelt formed a pink *Light Spear* placing the tip at the brunette's throat. "Give me an excuse, I haven't had a taste of Fallen Angel flesh in some time."

"Mittelt-sama, there is no need to threaten Raynare-sama," Asia stood up from where she was kneeling, "I will come along."

"Oh but we need this bitch, too," Dohanseek smirked, "She's going to be the battery for our little device."

"Oh fuck," Raynare muttered.

…
…

"I feel naked without a cross," Xander muttered as he stepped past the front gate of the Church's property. He was dressed in his light combat garb. Black jeans, work boots, black t-shirt, tactical vest loaded with plate carrier, arm pads, and knee pads. The final piece was a 'Hello my name is: HAIL TO THE KING!' name tag. "Everyone ready? Call them out by the numbers. Pawn is ready."

"Knight is ready," Kiba had changed into his light kendo armor without the helmet. He had his favored sword sheathed by his side and had added some grenades to his belt that were gifts from Xander.

"Rook is ready," Koneko was dressed in her gym clothes, a simple white shirt and blue shorts. She had pads on her elbows and knees as well as a pair of weighted MMA gloves with a cat paw print on them. She wasn't carrying any grenades, but did have several sets of handcuffs.

"Queen is ready~," Akeno was completely enjoying the atmosphere. Dressed as the miko she had been trained to be from a young age, she was no less ready for battle than the rest.

"King is ready!" Rias felt a little odd taking orders from her pawn, but she was bowing to experience. She was still dressed in her school uniform, but like Kiba had added some grenades to her arsenal.

"Rook, open this jar of pickles," Xander smirked as he quoted the show that Koneko had insisted they had to watch together. 'Score she almost smiled.'

"Xander-baka," Koneko muttered as she surged forward and gave the main doors of the church a mighty kick. The results were nearly explosive. The twin twenty foot doors were completely blown off their hinges and landed amongst the pews on each side of the aisle.

"Look it's some shitty devils coming to the House of God!" Freed Sellzen was far too excited, The blonde haired man in priest robes was marching in place. "I am going to be your confessor today you shitty devils. So just save yourself some trouble and jump on my light sword. Well, you devil girls can jump on my cock first. Not the Loli though, I do have standards. Even if she is super adorable."

Next to that the other fifty exorcists looked rather sane as they only had murderous looks in their eyes as they lit their own Light Swords.

"Oh, you don't mind if we make this a gangbang do you?" Freed asked an actual tinge of curiosity in his voice. "My colleagues here want to have some fun carving you up."

"I, Rias Gremory, Heiress of the House of Gremory will give you just one chance to surrender," Rias stepped forward flanked by Akeno and Kiba, "You will be allowed to live but will be stripped of all your weapons and tools. Then you will be given coach airfare to the country of your choice."

"Surender? Never. There's four of you shitty devils…" Freed started to reply.

"Five." Rias corrected him as a whirring sound filled the air.

"Five? I only see four. And what is causing that sound?" Freed asked.

"Now!" Rias said as she spread her wings and leapt to the air. Koneko, Kiba, and Akeno followed suit.

"This is my BRRRT stick." Xander had been standing behind his new friends, legs braced for the mayhem he was about to unleash. While the others had been talking he'd pulled out his latest birthday gift from the Council: an XM214 Microgun that Andrew and Willow had enchanted just for him, including a spell for recoil reduction and endless ammo. He'd only ever been able to take it to the range so this was the true trial by fire. Currently the barrels were whirling at speed and Xander's finger just pulled the trigger.

"Oh fuck me!" Freed had just enough time to realize what was happening before the trigger was pulled. As the first few rounds exploded out of the barrels, He'd dove for the only cover worth a damn, the granite cross behind the altar.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRT! BRRRRRRRRRRRT! BRRRRRRRRRRRT!

The other exorcists weren't as lucky. Xander was liberally spraying the temple with high velocity jacketed lead. None of them were able to escape as they were peppered with scores of rounds. Blood sprayed everywhere from the dead and dying. Men were torn apart. Arms or legs were torn off. Some skulls even exploded. Xander kept firing for two full minutes before easing up on the trigger and letting the barrels cool.

"That was FUN!" Xander grinned widely as he addressed Rias and the other who were holding their hands over their ears.

"Fun? What kind of psychopath are you?" Freed peeked out from behind the cross.

BRRRRRRTT!

Xander released a few hundred rounds at the cross Freed was hiding behind. "Nobody was talking to you, Altar Boy."

"Oi, you take that back, right fucking now," Freed cried out as he fired his gun blindly around the cross.

"Or what?You'll shoot in my general direction?" Xander laughed as the rounds went wided not even coming within ten feet of him. "I can do this all day."

"I bet you can Psycho-kun, but the Nun and the Fallen Slut don't have that long," Freed reloaded his pistol and prepared for another volley. "They're having a draining experience in the basement.

"Pawn, I will handle him," Kiba called out as he drew his sword. Landing with a soft thump, he dashed towards the cross and delivered a slash. A moment there was a crack as a diagonal cut appeared near the base and the majority of the cross slipped off the pedestal. "Greetings Exorcist-san, my name is Kiba Yuuto, Knight of Rias Gremory. I will be your opponent."

"Oh, so you bat for the other team, Devil-kun?" Freed abandoned his non-existent cover, and readied his sword. "I am flattered even if I don't swing that way."

"Why does everyone assume that witty, urbane, and polite means homosexual?" Kiba's tone was calm, but there was a pulsing vein in his forehead. Channeling some of his fury in his strikes, Kiba went on the offensive.

"Now this is more like it," Freed was back to having a ball. He lived for killing, but a good fight was always nice, "Show me what you have, Devil-kun."

…
…

"They didn't bother with any magical traps," Rias said after a brief examination of the Altar that was sitting atop the stairs, "They must have thought fifty exorcists would be enough."

"There are three triggers for moving the Altar, but Pawn ruined all of them with his toy," Akeno sighed heavily as had performed the more physical inspection, "We'll have to destroy it."

"Move." Koneko muttered before she just simply ripped the altar out of the floor and tossed it aside, "Done."

"Thanks. Rook-chan," Xander had stashed his microgun already mainly as lugging it around was a chore. Bounding down the stairs with the girls on his heels he stopped cold at the sight before him.
Asia had been stripped down to just a thin cotton chemise before being chained up to macabre cross adorned with acidic green runes. The nun was limp in the chains, her eyes barely open as her face was twisted up in agony. As if the scene was not morbid enough, Raynare was chained to a similar cross only it's runes were blue and she'd been stripped naked.

"Oh look, if it isn't the Crimson Bitch's Boytoy, come to save them?" Kalawarner sneered as she greeted Xander, "Well, you can have them, if you can get past my friends."

"We meet again, Gremory-dono, except this time you are the interloper," Dohnaseek formed a *Light Spear* in each hand, "Perhaps now we will see if you have the ability to match your family name."

"Ah, Dohnaseek, I do remember you," Rias smirked as she called forth a pair of mandalas. "We won't be having a third encounter."

"Oh my, you look absolutely delicious, Miko-san," Mittelt grinned wide showing that her teeth were all razorsharp. "I could feast on you for days before you die."

"Ara ara, the first person to offer to eat me and it isn't Xander-kun, fate is so cruel to me," Akeno faked a swoon.

"Pawn, Rook, we'll take care of these two," Rias called out, "Get Asia and Raynare out of here."

"The ego of you lower creatures astounds me," Dohnaseek snarled, "You won't handle us, we'll slaughter you." With that proclamation he through both of the spears he'd formed at Rias only for them to be blocked by Rias' *Shield* with seemingly no effort on her part.

"You can dish it out, but can you take it?" Akeno's smile became sadistic as she conjured lightning to throw at the Fallen duo.

"Bitch, that nearly singed my hair," Mittelt screamed as she barely dodged the lightning.

…
…

"Xander-san… it's you… you came," Asia's tired face lit up with joy when she recognized him, "Lady Raynare said you would…"
"Yeah, it's me," Xander whispered back as he brushed her hair back behind her ear before he started unfastening the chain around her neck, "We're getting you out of here. Then we're going out for Burgers and Twinkies, hit the arcade, just have some fun. How does that sound?"

"Sounds like fun… " Asia agreed, "But… I don't… think… I can."

"What are you talking about? Of course you can," Xander tried to laugh it off, like Asia was trying for a joke. But then he saw the light leaving her eyes as she stopped breathing. "Asia?...Asia, wake up?...ASIA?!"

"Oh, did I forget to tell you that the Nun only had seconds to live?" Kalawarner asked in a mocking tone. "A lowly human can't survive having the Sacred Gear extracted by this device. It's why Azazel-sama decommissioned it." She continued on, "It also normally needs a specific ritual to provide the power needed, but draining most of Raynare life force was a suitable substitute.'

"Koneko-chan, take Asia and Raynare outside," Xander's voice was even and calm with not one hint of a joke. His normally warm eye was cold and dead. "I have something to discuss with this bitch."

"I am supposed to protect you, senpai," Koneko argued even as she shattered the remaining chains.

"Just do as I ask, you don't need to see this," One normal tear flowed down from his right eye and a milky white one seeped from under his patch, "I'll be out in a few minutes."

"Oh, it will take longer than a few minutes, Xander-kun," Kalawarner sneered, "I am going to beat you within an inch of your life, and rape you to the point of death before I heal you. I'll do it over and over again, until you are so broken you won't even remember words. Then I'll start on that swordsman and then your whores. Too bad I couldn't keep the nun alive. She would have been so much fun to..."

Cha-THUNK!

"SHUT UP!" Xander roared as he backhanded the fallen angel across the face. As he had unconsciously activated the Twice Critical the Dragon's Hand broke Kalawarner's jaw. "She was worth a million of you!"

[Twice Critical]

Feeling the surge of strength, Xander delivered an uppercut to Kalawarner's diaphragm expelling every bit of air from her lungs. He followed up by stomping on her left knee, shattering the joint by bending it backwards. He did the same to her right elbow as she lay on the floor writhing in pain. "Raynare, Kiba, Koneko, Akeno, and especially Buchou-chan are each worth a million of you." With each word, Xander delivered a brutal kick to Kalawarner's ribs and kidneys. He was laying on the pain in an all out attempt to cripple the Fallen Angel.

Kalawarner was in shock. The Twilight Healing should have made her invincible. She'd imagined she would be able to recover from any damage in seconds. It had been a beautiful dream, that was becoming a nightmare. 'How was I supposed to know it doesn't work automatically?' She mentally bemoaned as she attempted to concentrate enough to heal her jaw, only to be derailed by the blow to her gut. Thinking of healing was made difficult when struggling to breath correctly was an issue. Then came the destruction of a knee and elbow before the nigh endless rain of pain pummeled her into. 'I'm going to be killed by a lowly devil… Wait, he stopped… I just need a few minutes.'

Xander's rage was far from sated, but he wanted to plan exactly how he would make his displeasure known. He paused in his beating to take stock on what shape he had beaten the fallen into. That's when he noticed the green aura surrounding the wounds, healing them. "Asia's Sacred Gear!"

…
…

"You're much better than I was told, Devil-kun," Freed loved the whole backhanded compliments in a fight. "You were supposed to be some wet behind the ears whelp who still believed there were rules in a battle to the death."

"I had TANSTAAFF beat into me rather effectively," Kiba admitted with a wry grin. Locking blades with Freed he delivered a knee directly to the Exorcist's groin with everything he had.

"ARRRRGH!" Freed screamed out as he was quite effectively racked. The Church hadn't thought to geld him at all as his project was meant to be bred for more. All the strength in his limbs vanished as did his ability to breathe. "You... cheating... bastard!"

"My parents were married," Kiba grinned as he kicked the sword and gun away from Freed before moving behind him to deliver the choke out Xander had taught him.

…

"Ooooooh I am having so much fun!" Akeno licked her lips in ecstasy as she channeled more lightning into gothic lolita fallen. She hadn't come out of the fight completely unscathed. There was a bleeding bite mark on her left breast, but that hadn't slowed her down much, "Would you like another, Mit-tan? Yes? Oh goody."

"Fuck… you… whore." Mittelt groaned through bloody gums. She'd been unprepared for Akeno to actually pull out all her sharpened teeth with a spell. She had become feared for her vicious bite and voracious gluttony so much she had neglected maintaining her skills when spear or spell. Now she was just a twitching mass of flesh on the floor that Akeno kept shocking with ever increasing voltages.

"Now that's rude," Akeno shook her head sadly as she readied a true attack rather then playing with her victim, "If you can't be civil I will just have to end you. *Thunder Lance*"

A magic sigil appeared above Mittelt and a torrent of lightning poured down on the terrified Mittelt. The Fallen tried to scream, but it was far too late. Her blood boiled, her flesh burned away, her brain was turned to ash, and finally her bones reduced to a fine powder.

"Oh my, I might have overdone it, ufufufu,"

…
…

"Stupid Xander-senpai," Koneko grossed as she made her way out of the church with a much larger girl over each shoulder. "I will eat his Twinkies for this."

Despite being angered over the order Xander had given her, Koneko had followed them. Mostly as he instincts screamed at her to do so. Something about his aura had shifted and he'd felt more animal. 'It's like one moment he was a normal devil and the next like me.'

Seeing Kiba end his fight with the Exorcist, Koneko figured she had carried the girls far enough. She laid Asia and Raynare on the only intact pew before approaching her friend, "Dead?"

"Unconscious," Kiba replied with a shrug, "I figured we'd want to interrogate someone and I doubt the others will leave anyone alive."

"Here, in case he wakes up," Koneko handed Kiba two sets of cuffs.

…
…

"Is this all the famous Princess of Ruin is capable of?" Dohnaseek mocked as he fired another pair of *Light Spears*. Rias avoided both as by just the slimmest of margins. "I am singularly unimpressed."

"Then you are terminally stupid," Rias smirked as she began to form her first attack. The Power of destruction was coalescing into a small box shape that anyone with military training would recognize, "I've been playing Rope-A-Dope and you fell for it. Now you can be the first victim of *Claymore of Oblivion*"

With that pronunciation the box exploded into thousands of small balls of *Power of Destruction* spraying them forth in an expanding cone of death towards Dohnaseek. The Fallen Angel didn't even get the chance to evade the attack, not that he had the energy to. When the dust cleared there was nothing but a forty foot long gouge in the stone of the basement floor and wall.

"It could use a bit of refinement," Rias sighed as she examined the aftermath.

…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Kalawarner's screams of pain and terror echoed in the Church making everyone still conscious flinch in response.

"That doesn't sound good," Kiba said as he looked to the entrance to the basement area, "What do you think Xander-kun is doing?"

"Something dark," Koneko deadpanned.

"What do you mean?" Rias' head whipped around to regard her rook, "Xander-kun isn't evil."

"Agreed, he's not being evil," Koneko replied with a nod. "Just dark. He sent me away so I wouldn't witness it."

Akeno looked to the stairs as her own thoughts whirled in her head. 'Xander has to know that Koneko has witnessed my sadism many times. How bad can it be?'

Xander was covered in so much blood that one would have guessed he swam in it if it hadn't only been coating his front. Unlike normal there was no smile on his lips and no cheerfulness in his eye. While he was no stranger to the deaths of friends, each of them always hit equally hard. "I retrieved her rings."

"You did?" Rias perked up as she saw the twin rings that were Twilight Healing. "Put them on her. If we act quickly enough, then Asia can join us for a victory party."

…
…

Author's Notes:

Xander's Physical Prowess: In Buffy canon by the time of Season 7, Xander is one of the strongest completely normal humans in the Buffyverse. This is illustrated in the fact that he can knock a fledgling vampire out with a punch. Sure he doesn't match up to supernatural heroes or the drug enhanced Initiative soldiers, but he'd dominate most other humans. Since DxD Xander has a bit of Fanon worked in as well as being a Devil he's a lot more physically powerful. Xander is now equal to a just woken Baby Slayer or Minion level Vamp. Since being a Devil effectively removes limits that can increase. No he will never be an equal to Sairaorg without using the Boosted Gear or something similar, but he's still damned impressive.

Xander's Magical Prowess: Xander is gonna have a ton of power, but little to no control unless the magic is destructive, protective, or lewd. The last is remnants of Issei's potential and a bit of a curse for the love spell incident.

Xander's Toys: Xander has a lot of fun weapons in his Dimensional Space mostly because his friends gave up on Fray Adjacent and started to arm him for bear. The XM214 was a gift from Riley that Andrew and Willow had fun modifying.

Boosted Gear: Unlike Issei who just had the one gauntlet, Xander's Boosted Gear covers both arms. No, this is not a subspecies. It's just how it manifests for Xander.

New Attacks: The Gremory group will develop new attack types based on how Xander trains with them. Rias was so impressed with the Claymore mines she just had to make her own version.