JENNIE

"I'm going to pick you up now," the familiar voice I haven't heard in too long says, trying to comfort me as strong arms lift me from the floor and cradle me like a child.

I bury my head into Kai's solid chest and close my eyes.

My mother's voice is here, too. I don't see her, but I can hear her:

"What's wrong with her? Why isn't she talking?"

"She's just in shock," Marco starts to say. "She'll come around soon—"

"Well, what am I supposed to do with her if she won't even speak?" my mother bites back.

Kai, able to deal with my callous mother in a way that no one else can, softly says, "Rebecca, she just found her dad's body a few days ago. Be easy on her."

I've never been so relieved to be near Kai in my entire life. As much as I love Jisoo, and as thankful as I am for her family right now, I need to be taken away from this house. I need someone like my oldest friend now.

Someone who knew me before.

I'm going crazy; I know I am. My mind hasn't been functioning properly since my foot hit the very solid, and very still, body of my father. I haven't been able to process a single rational thought since I cried his name and shook him so hard that his jaw fell open and the needle popped out of his arm, landing with a clinking noise that still echoes inside my broken mind.

Such a simple sound. Such a horrific sound.

I felt something inside me snap when my father's hand jerked in mine, an involuntary muscle spasm that I still can't decide about, whether it

actually happened or if it was my mind creating a false sense of hope. That hope quickly vanished when I checked his pulse again, only to feel nothing, only to leave me staring into his dead eyes.

Kai's stride gently rocks me as we move through the house.

"I'll call her phone later to check on her. Please answer so I can see how she's doing," Jisoo softly requests. I want to know how Jisoo is; I hope she didn't see what I saw, I just can't remember.

I know I was holding my father's head in my hands, and I think I was screaming or crying, or both, when I heard Jisoo enter the apartment. I remember her trying to fight with me to let go of the man who I was only beginning to know, but after that my mind jumps straight to when the ambulance arrived and blanks out again until I was sitting on the floor at the Manoban's' home.

"I will," Kai assures her, and I hear the screen door opening. Cool drops of rain land on my face, washing away days' worth of tears and filth.

"It's okay. We're going home now; it's all going to be okay," Kai whispers to me, his hand pushing my rain-soaked hair off my forehead. I keep my eyes closed and rest my cheek against his chest; its heavy beat only reminds me of when I pressed my ear against my father's chest, only to find no heartbeat, no breathing.

"It's okay," Kai says again. This is just like old times, his coming to my rescue after my father's addictions wreak havoc.

But there are no greenhouses to hide in, not this time. This time there is only darkness and no escape in sight.

"We're going home now," Kai repeats as he places me into a car.

Kai's a dear, sweet person, but doesn't he know that I have no home?

The hands on my clock move so slowly. The longer I stare at them, the more they mock me, slowing down with each click of their hands. My old bedroom is so big—I could have sworn it was a small room, but now it feels massive. Maybe it's me that feels small? I feel light now, lighter than I did the last time I slept in this bed. I feel like I could float away and no one would notice. My thoughts aren't normal; I know this. Kai tells me this each time he tries to talk me back into reality. He's here now; he hasn't left since I lay down in this bed, Lord knows how long ago.

"You're going to be okay, Jennie. Time heals all. Remember our pastor always said that." Kai's eyes are worried for me.

I nod, staying silent, and stare at the provoking clock hanging on the wall.

Kai drags a fork along the untouched plate of food from hours ago.

"Your mother is going to come in and make you eat dinner. It's late, and you still haven't touched your lunch."

I glance toward the window, noting the darkness outside. When did the sun disappear? And why didn't it take me with it?

Kai's soft hands gather mine in them, and he asks me to look at him.

"Just take a few bites so she will let you rest."

I reach for the plate, not wanting to make things more difficult for him, knowing he's just doing my mother's bidding. I bring the stale bread to my mouth and try not to gag on the rubbery lunchmeat as I chew. I count the time it takes to force myself to take five bites and swallow them down with the room-temperature water left on the nightstand from this morning.

"I need to close my eyes," I tell Kai when he tries to offer me some grapes from the plate. "No more." I gently push the plate away. The sight of food is making me want to vomit.

I lie down and bring my knees to my chest. Kai being Kai reminds me of the time we got in trouble for throwing grapes at each other during Sunday service when we were twelve.

"That was our most rebellious thing we did, I think." he says with a soft laugh.

The sound puts me to sleep.

"YOU'RE NOT GOING IN THERE. The last thing we need is you setting her off. She's sleeping for the first time in days," I hear my mother's voice say from down the hall.

Who is she talking to? I'm not sleeping, am I? I lean up on my elbows, and the blood rushes to my head. I'm so tired, so tired. Kai is here, in my childhood bed with me. It all feels so familiar, the bed, the messy hair sticking up from Kai's head. I feel different, though, out of place and disoriented.

"I'm not here to hurt her, Rebecca. You should know that by now."

"You—" my mother attempts to fight back, but she's interrupted.

"You should also know that I still don't give a fuck what you say." My bedroom door opens, and the last person I thought I'd see pushes past my irate mother.

Kai's arm is heavy across me, weighing me into the bed. His grip tightens on my waist in his sleep, and my throat burns at the sight of Lisa. His eyes are furious at the sight in front of her. She crosses the room and forcefully yanks Kai's arm from my body.

"What the—" Kai wakes with a startle and jumps to his feet. When Lisa takes another step toward me, I scramble across the twin bed and my back hits the wall, hard. Hard enough to knock the wind from me, but I still try to get away from her. I cough and Lisa's eyes soften.

Why is she here? She can't be here, I don't want her here. She's done enough damage, and she doesn't get to just show up here and pick at the scraps.

"Fuck! Are you okay?" Her inked arm reaches for me, and I do the first thing that comes to my twisted mind: I scream.