Disclaimer: I do not own High School DxD, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Harry Potter, Naruto, and Rifts
Major AU: Do not expect this story to strictly follow canon for High School DxD.
Key: "Talking" 'Thought' [Sacred Gear] (Pailamancy or Telepathy) *Technique*
Author Notes: This chapter will explaining a few things everyone has been scratching their heads over from the last chapter. One thing won't be covered, but I really need to get this across: No, the fourth brunette was not Issei. It was the incarnation of Issei's dream to have a harem, not for his simple sexual pleasure but satisfy his desire to love and be loved. That is literally all that merged in with the Three Xanders. I had thought of adding his Perversion, but Xander already has to deal with the effects of a libido that is the accumulation of Normal!Xander, Primal!Xander, and Soldier!Xander. While this does make him somewhat of a pervert, it's not nearly as intense as Issei who for all intents and purposes is one of the most perverted characters in anime and we're including characters like Master Roshi and Jiraiya of the Sannin when we make that comparison.
Another Author Note: To all OppaiDragon Lovers: Yes, it will happen and the fault will belong to Azazel and Sirzechs
Yet Another Author Note: There was a comment about the *Claymore of Oblivion* being a nerf for Rias. Compared to her normal attacks which are singular large blasts of *Power of Destruction* the *Claymore of Oblivion* launches hundreds of tiny spheres of *Power of Destruction* in a spray that impossible to dodge unless you leave the cone of effect. It also can't be easily countered except by a large shield. Yes, her normal attacks would normally do much more damage, but they can be dodged, parried, or caught much more easily than the spray of smaller projectiles. The *Claymore of Oblivion* also makes it easier to hit multiple opponents simultaneously.
Yet Another Author Note: In the episode Primal the possessing force is Hyena based. However over the years the Primal fragment in Xander lost it's connection to the hyena behavior template. It has been influenced by other animal type spirits when Xander was forced to use it, namely lions, cheetah, wolves, bulls and silverback gorillas. In essence the Primal is just the pure animal instinct to survive that even humans have. Of course before the merger it was getting a heavy dose of Dragon influence.
Inquests and Bequests
"Then Xander ripped out his spine with the head attached and says 'Primal Wins: Fatality." Rias Gremory concluded the tale of the fight with Caleb. Of course said recounting of the story was complete with pantomime provided by Xander and Koneko for their parts. Rias had animated a dummy to serve as Caleb in the reinactment. Though Xander had pulled out the still gory skull and spine and the end to properly do the pose he'd done, "It was…"
"Terrifying?" Asia spoke up, despite being a little green around the edges at seeing the remains of the defrocked priest. Having spent a few months around various Fallen Angels and Stray Exorcists she had been subjected to far worse trophy taking. Things that would have sent her running to purge her stomach were not nearly as bad anymore. Atop that was the belief that Xander would only do that to beings whom had no chance of redemption and had earned it.
"…Sexy." Akeno Himejima breathed out, as she stared at Xander. Shaking her head clear of the fantasies that she was having, she let out a genuine giggle, "So is that just a trophy?"
"Well… it will be once I get it cleaned and bronzed," Xander replied sheepishly, "Primal originally intended for it to be a grave marker to warn everyone not to kill one of my girls." He was now rubbing the back of his neck as everyone was looking at him, some faces were full of wonder and others with concern, "Back to the story, after freeing Buchou-chan I used some of the Mohra blood to heal her and we came back here."
"Trying skip over the part where you were licking her wounds clean?" Koneko offered the barest hint of a smirk as she ratted Xander out. As he part of the story was done she reclaimed her spot on the couch and started enjoying Kiba's version of the famous MOS Burger and fries. "Or that to calm you down she had to put you in Marshmallow Hell?"
Rias blushed a very pretty pink as Xander just sputtered incoherently for a moment.
…
...
"Okay, according to the ID on the body this is the address," Xander said as checked the number of the door to the apartment. 'I'm glad Koneko looted the corpse while I was out of it.' Inserting the key in the lock it only took a few seconds to open the door and turn on the light, "Great Shades of Mark Chapman. I think we now know how he knew everything."
Xander stepped to the side and let the rest of the ORC have a good look at the apartment. Three out of four walls were covered in various photos of Rias, each of them taken without her knowledge let alone consent. There were photos of her sitting in class to shots of her in the club shower, and everything in between. As if that wasn't creepy enough there were pairs of her underwear that she had thought had just been lost or stolen by one of the perverted trio. The fourth wall was just as disturbing and was obviously from when Caleb had taken over the body of the stalker. It was plastered with pictures of Xander and notes on how best to destroy him.
"This… this… this…" Rias was rendered speechless. She hadn't a single inkling that anyone had been watching her let alone for the two years that the pictures and underwear spanned. "I feel so violated."
"Fufufu," Akeno's laugh was not mocking, but out of nervousness. She had some pretty twisted clients, including the head of a Zaibatsu who liked to be humiliated while getting his feet massaged, but this was a different level of insane. She stopped trying to wrap her mind around it and instead moved to examine the book shelf, "He's been in contact with Exorcists. I see one of their primers on magic circles here."
"I will have to apologize to Issei when I visit the memorial shrine," Koneko muttered as she made her way to the computer set up in one corner of the room, "He is no longer the worst."
"Are those laser microphones, or am I mistaken?" Kiba pointed to several objects on the coffee table in the room.
"You're not mistaken, Kiba." Xander replied as his attention was drawn away from the walls to the objects that Kiba was motioning to. "State of the Art as well. He was probably listening in on most of our meetings."
"Buchou, he's been in contact with some Stray Exorcists and Magicians online," Koneko wasn't quite the hacker that Gasper was, but she was good enough for system in front of her, "Before his change they were using him as a spy on you. They fed him information about his Sacred Gear as payment."
"Well, gotta give them credit for knowing how to use a resource," Xander pinched the bridge of his nose. "Is there any reason he was at the convention, because this guy is pretty much all about Rias until Father Misogynist took over."
"Ano." Asia spoke up to gather everyone's attention, "He seems to be a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He has five copies of the series, and three copies of the comics." The former Nun continued looking through the videos until she spotted something that she was unfamiliar with, "What is a snuff film?"
"Something that you are much too good natured to watch," Akeno spoke up quickly, "Why don't you look through the book while I peruse the video collection?"
"Well, the good news is that the closets, refrigerator, and pantry are free of any human remains," Xander chimed in, "The bad news is that I don't think Rias was the first person Ear stalked. There are photo albums with three other redheads and all of them end with a newspaper clipping of them going missing."
"Maou," Rias grumbled, "The police aren't going to stop looking until they find him. The normal deterrents won't keep them from investigating me and Xander in that case."
"Oh this is simple, some we put some bomb making materials here, the Anarchist cookbook, and then find a secluded area I set up some explosives and obliterate everything from mid thigh up," Xander explained, "The police will investigate the scene find the remains including Ear's ID and immigration papers. They'll come here, search the place and close some cold cases."
"That's just brilliant," Kiba spoke up, "We won't be implicated. They'll assume he wanted to get Xander out of the picture and then pursue Buchou for his sick fantasies."
"It is a good plan," Rias nodded her head, "See it through and make sure none of it can be traced back to us."
…
...
Rias Gremory was sitting at her desk, her glasses perched on her nose, as she read over the latest customer reviews on her servants. As usual there was a lot of praise for Akeno, Kiba, and Koneko. True there was a complaint by a few of Akeno's clients that she wouldn't perform services of a sexual nature, but Rias dismissed those. There wasn't a chance she would make any of her servants do anything like that. Asia was loved by all the rich children who just wanted to play card games, hear bed time stories, or have tea parties with an older sister. As for Xander, every one of his clients was weird, but they loved him. Mil-tan contracted him twice more to help teach others how to brew the Polyjuice. Susan the exchange student was taking self defense lessons from him so she'd be less afraid. Then there was Zales who just wanted someone to hang out with him and not kiss his ass because he was rich.
"Buchou, we have some guests that you really should speak with," Akeno hated interrupting Rias when she was reading reviews. It was part of the job that brightened her King's day. However, she wasn't kidding about having important visitors.
"Very well, I was nearly done anyway," Rias collected the reviews and slipped them back into the appropriate folders, "Show our guests in and prepare some tea if you would be so kind."
"No need to show us in, Akeno-chan, we're already here. I must say, for once the rumors hold merit. You two are as lovely as my dear wife," The speaker was six and a half feet tall, with a powerful build that was clearly for strength and endurance, not show. His face was rugged and attractive, but not truly handsome while his hair and beard were an orange-red reminiscent of lava and his blue eye twinkled merrily. His clothes were finely made, but were meant for labor not fashion or impressing others. "Greeting Rias Gremory and Akeno Himejima, I am Hesphaestus of Olympus and this is my loving wife Aphrodite."
When Aphrodite entered the view, both Rias and Akeno felt just a slight bit inadequate. She was only a few inches shorter than her husband, and had a body that was pure feminine perfection. Her face was the definition of seductive beauty. Even her brunette hair with the braid that hung to her knees seemed perfect. And the woman's clothes were more than a tad on the seductive side as she was wearing a baby-tee that came just below her nipples, a pair of leather pants that seemed painted on and the very visible straps to her thong. "You are becoming a much better flirt, my love. But, in this case your words are true instead of just flattery. You ladies are simply gorgeous, if I didn't know better I would think you were mine."
"Hephaestus-sama and Aphrodite-sama, it is a pleasure to meet you. Please have a seat, my Queen, Akeno, will be serving tea, if it pleases you," Rias was more than thankful for the etiquette lessons that her mother had imparted. Much of the training had been how to quickly get over shock, "I must admit I was not expecting you."
"Really? Did you think I would just simply hand you items from my forge without coming to assess your character and take measurements?" Hephaestus was amused, not angry and let it show. The man was all smiles as he visibly appraised the two devil's bodies, "Just where is the rest of the peerage? I'll need to meet them, especially Alexander."
"Oh yes, I definitely want to meet Alexander," Aphrodite nodded, "After the help he gave my poor Mil-tan, I feel I owe the stud a favor."
Rias' right eye twitched at Aphrodite's seductive tone and choice of words. It was widely known that the Greek Pantheon had a very interesting definition of marital fidelity. Aphrodite wasn't the worst, but that was because Zeus was so very prolific. "Your Mil-tan?"
"One of my many grandchildren, well if you put a tack on a few greats," Aphrodite giggled as noticed Rias' rising jealousy. "Don't worry, Sweetie, I have no plans to bed him for at least two years. I promised Heph another child now that ours are all out of the house so to speak."
"I was under the impression that you didn't have any children with your husband." Akeno piped in as she set down the tea service and began being mother. "Legend has it that Ares was the father of many of your children."
"Bwahahahaha!" Hephaestus could not help bursting out into laughter. "I wonder how he got mortals to believe that little bit of fiction. Oh, it's true I caught Ares in bed with my wife, but he was catching if you know what I mean."
"As if I would stoop to allowing that brute to have his way with me," Aphrodite scoffed, "He might have won the wager in order to have sex with me, but I never said I'd be the one penetrated. My loving husband made me a toy for those times I visit Isis or Freya, so I tried it out on Ares. Sadly the little brute enjoys it, so now I have monthly visits from him. Though the sessions do let me work out my aggressions."
"I must say I admire your style, my Lady," Akeno smirked as she understood precisely what Aphrodite meant.
"I pray your future plans with my Xander won't include such things," Rias struggled to keep from laughing. She couldn't help but picture the God of War walking funny after his romp with the Goddess of Love.
"If they did, I wouldn't need to wait two years," Aphrodite smirked.
Rias' eye twitched again at the goddesses' antics. Instead of rising to the bait, she changed subjects. "I am afraid that only Gasper-kun is here. The others are out on summons, but should be back soon."
"Well, then let's take Gasper-kun's measurements and then wait for the others," Hephaestus suggested.
…
...
"So he's the Xander-kun you keep mentioning?" The awe struck tone of the nine year old brunette girl was adorable.
"Yes he is, Rei-chan," Asia smiled widely as she gave the girl a hug. Rei was one of Asia's favorite clients. She only ever paid a dollar at a time for visits, but that was really all Asia would accept from the burn victim. Ninety percent of Rei was covered in burn scars and she'd only survived thanks some bleeding edge medical advancements. However those treatments still left her with horrible scars. "Xander-kun, this a Rei-chan. She's the one I asked you about."
"Well aren't you just adorable?" Xander squatted down a bit so he could look Rei in the eyes. He wasn't really sugar coating anything or lying. He'd known a few peaceful tribes of demons who as children looked no different that Rei. So Xander had quickly adjusted his filter of what he considered cute. "It's nice to meet you, Rei-chan."
"Thank you, Xander-san," Rei blushed a little as she offered her hand. She was amazed to see Xander kiss the back as if she were a lovely lady. "It's nice to meet you two, even if this doesn't work."
"Oh, it will work," Xander said after a moment, "I just have to ask if you're sure you want to do this. It's going to be incredibly painful. Probably more than the fires that burned you."
"Really?" Rei was not in the least bit deterred by the idea of the pain. She had been living with that constantly for the last two years, but it was just getting worse, "It will work?"
"Oh yes, I did the same thing for one of my girls who'd been a victim of napalm," Xander replied, "It's the same principle here. Asia will apply the cream and then you drink a tablespoon of this," he explained as he held up one of the bottles of the Mohra blood, "Then I apply the catalyst. Asia will use her Twilight Healing so you don't go into shock from the initial pain. Then we will use the numbing cream so you're comfortable. You'll have to stay awake for an hour and then we can rinse it off. Now, I want to be clear, you have to let the scars begin to peel on their own as the skin underneath will be new and very sensitive. We made that mistake with Marie on her left hand. She couldn't use it for a week it was so painful."
"Will you come visit me when I am beautiful again, Xander-san?" Rei asked hopefully.
"What are you talking about?" Xander asked as he handed Asia the jar of the special cream Willow had designed, "You're beautiful now." He said as he ruffled her hair, getting a giggle out of Rei, "But, yeah, it's a date, one month from today I'll take you to the Arcade."
…
...
"Alright we're back from our double contract," Xander announced as he entered through the main doors. "And we got a great payment!" He proclaimed as he was waving a document tube, "You'll love it!" He said as he was moving his way to the coffee table as he was uncapping the tube. It was at this point he noticed that there were two new individuals in the room. Coming to a stop immediately he looked over the man and woman and inhaled through his nose for a moment, "Sorry, Buchou-chan, I didn't realize you had guests."
"You must be Alexander," Aphrodite rose from her husband's lap and offered her hand, "I am Aphrodite of Olympus, it is a pleasure to meet you. I must say I am singularly impressed that you saved a world through your love. Not many mortals in any realm can claim that, let alone one from a Grim Dark Realm."
Part of Xander's mind locked up, but it wasn't because of Aphrodite's beauty. As his body acted on autopilot and took the goddess' hand and kissed the back, Xander was remembering what could have been considered a mortal sin against her. Remembering his disastrous attempt with the Love Spell, he could only think of one thing to say, "I am sorry about the spell I got Amy to cast, Aphrodite-sama."
"Fufufu, you think I would be mad about such a thing? You received punishment enough just experiencing that," Aphrodite giggled, "Besides you showed yourself to be very honorable through the whole ordeal. Perhaps a little too honorable in some cases, but that isn't why we are here. Let me introduce you to my loving husband, Hephaestus."
Hephaestus rose from his seat and grasped Xander arm in a warrior's handshake. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Alexander. My wife and daughters speak highly of you." The god paused for second, "Which is impressive, as I can count the number of things Harmonia and Discord agree on with two hands and with a few fingers left over."
"I think I now understand a bit more about my life," Xander muttered as that tidbit of knowledge seeped in, "It's an honor to meet you, Hephaestus-sama."
"Fufufu," both Akeno and Aphrodite let out practically identical giggles at the same time.
"Oh Maou, forgive my rudeness, may I present Asia Argento, one of my dear friends and Bishop to Rias Gremory," Xander introduced the former nun beside him.
"Oh, aren't you just adorable." Aphrodite swooped in and hugged the shy nun before she could utter a word, "Can I keep her? I'll trade you Discord!"
"Asia is family and I would not trade her for anything," Rias smiled warmly at the Goddess' antics. She had the same reaction to Koneko and Kiba when they had entered just a few minutes prior. Though, in Kiba's case she wanted to marry him to Harmonia so he'd be a son-in-law, "Besides, I do not think your Daughter would appreciate serving someone so much younger."
"She has a point, Love," Hephaestus chuckled, "You really would miss Discord after a week anyways. Who would you take to the Twilight movies? I mean I enjoy heckling them, but I am just not as verbally creative."
Aphrodite turned to look at Xander with a calculating gleam in her eye.
"Oh no, I refuse," Xander knew what that look meant, "I had to watch them once. I would sooner swear off Twinkies and washing Rias' hair before I watched them again… even if I was there to heckle."
"Wait, is that the reason we haven't been bathing together that often?" Akeno's head whipped around to regard her King. "I thought you were just sleeping with him."
Kiba coughed as the cookie he was eating went down the wrong pipe. "W-what?"
"Relax. They just sleep in the same bed." Koneko replied in her usual monotone as she continued to eat her cookies before taking a sip of her tea.
"Well that's a relief," Asia let out a sigh of relief, "At least I am not too far behind."
"Let's get back to the focus of why Hephaestus and Aphrodite-sama are here," Rias did not want to admit that she was getting sexual and romantic gratification just from letting Xander wash her hair. While she had no doubt her peerage would keep the secret, the teasing from Akeno would be relentless. Even now she knew she was in for days of playful jibes, "It that is alright with you."
"It's more than alright," Hephaestus laughed as he graced Rias with a smile "I am too easily side tracked even when I am not surrounded by such beauty." Turning to Xander, "I have already crafted an eye for you, Alexander. It's something I have been working on since I was dragged to the Goblet of Fire movie."
"I had to convince him not to just let it spin around wildly in your eye socket," Aphrodite sighed in exasperation at the slight silliness of that idea. "Not to mention making it so it fit in your eye socket."
"Thank you for that," Xander didn't need to be told that the God of Forges liked to experiment. He was a guy. Way too many of them were like Tim 'the Toolman' Taylor from Tool Time for their own good. He himself was in that group when he wasn't working a paying job, "So what do you got? Willow tried, but honestly she's brute power, not finesse and artistry. The eye she made caused splitting headaches, nausea, and the inability to focus on anything closer than the Lunar Landing site."
Everyone in the room flinched as they imagined just how uncomfortable that would be. Koneko actually had a look of sympathy for Xander.
"Well, I have millennia of experience over her," Hephaestus shrugged as he pulled out a small hinged box and opened it. Inside was a spherical star ruby with four rays, "I present to you the Eye of Omen. You can blame Hermes for the name. Don't worry about it's appearance, any time you are not in combat it will create an illusion that makes it appear to be a natural eye. It can't be stolen either, only you will be able to remove it."
"Dare I ask what it can do?" Kiba was the first to speak up.
"May I husband?" Aphrodite asked and when she got the nod, she cleared her throat and began her best spokesmodel spiel, "The Eye of Omen will give Xander 20/10 vision in both eyes. It will allow him to see any wavelength in the electromagnetic spectrum he concentrates on. He'll be able to see in even pitch darkness. He'll have telescopic and microscopic vision. Whenever he wants he'll be able see his lovers or children no matter the distance of intervening obstacles. And there are a few more abilities, but I keep forgetting them."
"There is definitely more, like the ability to see magic and the scouter abilities," Hephaestus shrugged, "I had a few friends with excellent sight help me make it. One of them had a strange fixation on something called DBZ."
"Maou, I am almost scared to ask if it comes with video playback," Xander chuckled as he picked up the gem and examined it for a moment. Deciding to take a chance as he couldn't sense any ill intent or lies from the gods, he lifted his eye patch and manually opened his eye lid so that he could slip gem into place. With a slight pop he knew it was in place. There was a slight burning sensation around his left eye, but then it vanished as suddenly, "Whoa, back to the world of vertigo." He quickly sat down before he fell down, "Finally, I have depth perception again, no more walking into doors unless I am distracted by a hot girl."
Everyone laughed at the comment. Rias, Akeno, Asia, and Koneko were trying to remember if he walked into a door around them.
"Now that Alexander's first gift is a rousing success, let's get to measuring everyone," Hephaestus said as he produced a measuring tape out of thin air. "Darling, I assume you want to measure the lads."
"Well, I would like to complete the set," Aphrodite said as she produced a similar measuring tape, "Just gather a little empirical evidence."
…
...
"I feel just a little violated," Xander said as he finally took a seat again, "I wonder if Anya and Faith are somehow related to her."
"A little violated?" Kiba didn't screech. He was far too manly to screech. No, his shout was just a little high pitched, "She measured the boys! What was the point in measuring the boys?"
"Probably just her having a bit of fun to be honest," Xander shrugged. Years of exposure to Anya and Faith had really numbed him to some things. The fact that Willow at times could be just as bad was neither here nor there. "She's the Goddess of Physical Beauty, Love, and Lust. Were you really expecting anything less than being mildly molested?"
"Well, Hephaestus-sama was at least more professional in how he took measurements," Rias' right eye was twitching in irritation. Said irritation was partially the result of the rather suggestive compliments of the God of the Forge made, partially the fact that Aphrodite had designs on her Xander, and partially that Xander seemed blasé about be molested by Aphrodite, "I just wish his commentary had remained professional."
"His wife is a bad influence," Koneko added in as he opened a back of Cheetos. It was still a wonder that she could eat them without getting the infamous orange fingertips.
"Well, it wasn't all bad. I learned I gained a centimeter in the bust and hips and lost it around the waist," Akeno was all smiles as she placed Xander's coffee mug in front of him, "In case you're wondering one hundred two."
"Akeno!" Rias barked out but just face palmed as her Queen literally giggled in response.
"One hundred two?" Asia blurted out. "I'll never catch up. Oh no, the sin of envy. Please God help me overcome my… Aaahhh!"
…
...
"So what are you going to do with those, Husband?" Aphrodite asked as she gestured to the mangled Earrings sitting on the workbench in the forge. She was considered flighty by the standards of many Goddesses, but she hadn't remained married to Hephaestus without learning about his passions outside the carnal ones, "I've never known you to work with other God's Sacred Gears."
"I've never come across a broken Sacred Gear that still retained it's powers before either," Hephaestus was wearing a set of goggles that looked not unlike a mortal jeweler's loupe. "Well most of its power anyways. Azazel had theorized it was possible, but it hasn't happened until now. Normally what Alexander did would either sent the gear on to the next wielder or destroy them all together. But here the Earrings of Karna retain their powers of protection."
"So that's why you wanted them," Aphrodite chuckled as she released the nerd side of her husband was the one coming out, "It still doesn't explain what you are going to do?"
"Well, they seem to be bound to him, but we both know a Longinus wielder cannot possess two Sacred gears." The god of the forge stroked his chin as he thought. "I'll run some experiments in my spare time." He finally concluded before setting aside his goggles, "Right now, it's baby making time."
"Why did I agree to marry you again?" Aphrodite giggled at her husband's rather unromantic attempt to get her in bed. Not that it wouldn't work, she just liked teasing him.
"Perhaps because unlike the rest of them, I actually love you," Hephaestus smirked as he scooped up his wife. "That and you figured a god who can forge metal all day has to have stamina."
"Those were two very good reasons."
…
...
End notes:
- Hephaestus: Actor Kristofer Hivju
- Aphrodite: Model Iryna Ivanova
Eye of Omen
-Bearer: Xander Lavelle Harris-Hyoudou
-Manufacturer: Hephaestus with aid from Janus, Heimdall, and Aphrodite
-Appearance: Star Ruby with four points currently, the size of a normal human eyeball.
-Powers:
- Provides perfect 20/10 vision in both eyes
- Perfect sight in darkness whether mundane or magical
- Telescopic and Microscopic Vision up to 10,000 magnification
- Penetrating Vision up to 30 meters of material
- 360 degree vision
- Can be attuned to see any part electromagnetic spectrum
- Ultrasound Imaging
- Clairvoyance of Lovers/children
- Postcognition up to 100 hours
- Power Scouter
- See the normally invisible flow of Magic/Chakra/Chi
- The Eye can also create an illusion that makes it appear to be a normal eye