LISA

The weather here is much better than in Seattle. The rain is nowhere to be found, and the sun has come out for a rare appearance. It's April now: it's about damn time that the sun is out.

Jennie has been in the kitchen with Karen and that Sophia chick all day.

I'm trying to show her that I can give her space, that I can wait until she's ready to talk to me—but it's harder than I could have imagined. Last night was hard for me—really damn hard, to see her so distraught, so afraid. I hate that my nightmares have rubbed off on her. My horrors are contagious, and I would take them from her if I could.

When Jennie was mine, she always slept peacefully. She was my anchor, my comfort in the night, fighting off my demons for me when I was too weak, too distracted by self-pity, to help her battle them. She was there, shield in hand, fighting every image that threatened my fucked-up mind.

She bore the burden on her own, and that's what finally broke her.

Then I remind myself that she's still mine; she's just not ready to admit it again.

She has to be. There is no other way.

I park my car in front of my father's house. The leasing agent gave me shit when I called to tell him that I'm moving out. He fed me some bullshit about charging me two months' rent for breaking the lease, but I hung up midconversation. I don't care what I have to pay, I'm not living there anymore. I know it's an impulsive decision, and I don't exactly have another place to live, but I'm hoping I can stay at Marco's for a few days with Jennie until I can convince her to move in with me, in Seattle.

I'm ready for this. I'm ready to live in Seattle if that's what she wants, and my offer of marriage isn't going anywhere. Not this time. I'll marry that girl and live in Seattle until I die if that's what she wants, if that's what makes her happy.

"How long is that chick staying?" I ask Jisoo, pointing out the window at the Prius parked next to her car. It was kind of cool of her to offer to take me to get my car, especially after I chewed her out for sleeping in the room with Jennie. I wouldn't have been able to unlock the door, she pointed out, but I would have broken the damn thing down if I had the energy. The idea of the two of them sharing a bed has been driving me fucking crazy since I heard their hushed voices from outside the door. I ignored the puzzled look on her face when she found me half-asleep, sitting on the floor outside the door.

I tried to fall asleep in the empty bed in my designated room, but I just couldn't. I had to be closer to her just in case something happened and she screamed again. At least that's what I kept telling myself as I struggled to stay awake in the hallway the entire night.

"I don't know. Sophia is leaving to go back to New York later this week."

Her voice comes out high-pitched and awkward as hell.

What the hell's that all about? "What?" I press her as we walk inside the house.

"Oh, nothing."

But Jisoo's cheeks flush, and I follow her into the living room, where Jennie is standing near the window, staring off into space while Karen and mini-Karen share a laugh.

Why isn't Jennie laughing? Why isn't she at least engaged in the conversation?

The woman smiles at Jisoo. "There you are!"

She's pretty enough, nowhere near Jennie's beauty, but she's easy on the eyes for sure. As she approaches, I look over and notice that, again, Jisoo is blushing . . . a pastry is in her hand . . . she's smiling wide . . .

and it clicks.

Why didn't I see it before? She fucking likes her! A million jokes and embarrassing comments flood my mind, and I literally have to bite my tongue to prevent myself from torturing her with this information.

I ignore the start of their conversation and walk straight to Jennie. She doesn't seem to notice my presence until I'm directly in front of her.

"What's going on?" I ask.

There's a fine line between space and . . . well . . . my normal behavior, and I'm trying my best to find a good balance even if it's hard to break the habit.

I know that if I give her too much space, she will withdraw from me, but if I suffocate her, she will run. This is new for me, completely uncharted territory. I hate to admit this to myself, but I had gotten a little too used to her being my emotional punching bag. I hate myself for the way I've treated her, and I know she deserves better than me, but I need this last chance to become someone better for her.

No, I need to be myself. Just a version of me who is worthy of her love.

"Nothing, just baking. The usual. Well, taking a little break from baking, actually." A faint smile crosses her lips, and I grin at her. These small affections, these minuscule hints of adoration toward me, fuel my hope. A hope that's both new and very much out of my comfort zone, but I'll gladly spend my time figuring it out.

Karen and Jisoo's number one spank-bank chick come over and signal to Jennie, and within seconds they're all back in the kitchen while Jisoo and I are forgotten and left alone in the living room.

As soon as I'm sure the women can't hear me, a devilish grin stretches across my face and I accuse Jisoo, "You're hot for her."

"How many times do I have to tell you? Jennie and I are just friends." She sighs an annoyed and overdramatic sigh while scowling at me. "I thought you understood that after cussing me out for an hour this morning."

I waggle my eyebrows. "Oh, I'm not talking about Jennie. I mean Sarah."

"Her name is Sophia."

I shrug and keep smiling. "Same thing."

"No." She rolls her eyes. "It's not. You act like you can't remember any woman's name except Jen."

"Jennie," I correct her with a frown. "And I don't need to remember any other women's names."

"It's disrespectful. You've called Sophia every name that begins with an S, except her actual name, and it drove me insane when you called Yeri Yuri."

"You're annoying." I sit down on the couch, smiling at my step . . .

Actually, she's not actually my stepsister anymore. Never was. Realizing that fact, I'm not really sure how I feel about that.

She fights a smile. "So are you."

Would she care if she knew? Probably not, she would probably be relieved that we aren't related, even by marriage.

"I know you like her, admit it." I taunt.

"No, I don't. I don't even know her." She looks away. Busted.

"But she'll be in New York with you, and you can explore the streets there together and get caught under an awning during a dramatic downpour—how romantic!" I pull my lip between my teeth to stifle a laugh at her horrified expression.

"Would you stop? She's much older than me and way out of my league."

"She's too hot for you, but you never know. Some girls don't care about looks," I tease. "And who knows? She may be looking for a younger one.

How old is your old lady there?"

"Twenty-four. Leave it alone," She begs, and I decide to do just that. I could go on and on with this, but I have other things to focus on anyway.

"I'm going to move to Seattle." I feel sort of almost giddy as I blurt out the news. Sort of.

"What?" She leans in, a little too surprised.

"Yeah, I'm going to see what Marco can do about helping me finish the semester through distance learning, and I'm going to get an apartment in Seattle for Jennie and me. I already dropped my grad packet, so it shouldn't be too big of a deal."

"What?" Jisoo eyes dart away from mine.

Did she not just hear what I said? "I'm not repeating myself. I know you heard me."

"Why now? You and Jennie aren't together and she—"

"We will be; she just needs a little time to think it through, but she'll forgive me. She always does. You'll see."

As the words leave my mouth, I look up to see Jennie standing in the doorway, a deep frown etched onto her beautiful face.

A beautiful face that instantly disappears as she turns on her heel and walks back into the kitchen without a word.

"Fuck." I close my eyes and lay my head against the couch cushion, cursing at myself for my awful timing.