Dimitri strode down the corridor of the main hall with his mind muddled with thoughts. He had just heard from Seteth about their new mission, and it was weighing heavy on his mind. It was sure to be hard on Sylvain when he heard that this month's mission involved facing his brother. The Kingdom was teeming with unrest ever since that fateful day when Dimitri lost his father. And now that burden was going to fall on his professor and his classmates because of his failures as a leader.
"Professor." Dimitri called out when he saw Byleth standing in the main hall. "I heard about our mission for this month. So... We are to eradicate thieves in Kingdom territory. I'm sorry for dragging into the Kingdom's petty squabbles. This should not be your burden to bear, but my own..."
"I'm happy to help." She answered briefly. And though no emotion showed in her face when she said it, Dimitri knew the professor meant what she said.
"Thank you, Professor," Dimitri bowed, "hearing you say that puts my mind at ease."
When he straightened from his bow, Dimitri noticed a familiar figure approaching the two of them.
"Your Highness? Ah, it's been ages!" It was Rodrigue who came to stand with them, looking directly at the prince as he intentionally mentioned their time apart.
"It's been a long time!" Dimitri picked up on Rodrigue's cue, understanding that no one could know his connection to Eve. "Two years, if I'm not mistaken."
"Indeed, Your Highness. You've grown so much in those years. I hardly recognise you." Rodrigue smiled, nodding in appreciation.
"Who's this?" Byleth asked, head cocked to the side.
"This is Rodrigue, an old friend of my father's. I believe I've mentioned him, if you recall. When my father died four years ago, he looked after me as though I were his own son." Dimitri turned to his professor to introduce her to Rodrigue.
"You flatter me, Your Highness." Rodrigue laughed. "It was my honour to care for such a fine, young man. It's nice to finally meet you, Professor. My son, Felix, has mentioned you on occasion."
"What brings you to the monastery, Rodrigue? Is it the thieves plaguing the Kingdom?" Dimitri was surprised to hear that Felix had been in contact with his father. He wondered what else Felix might have written about in his letters to Rodrigue.
"I'm afraid so. This is not merely a problem for House Gautier, but for everyone." Rodrigue nodded gravely. "The thieves have set up their headquarters in Fraldarius territory, and are mercilessly pillaging the villages of that area. You have our full support in stopping those dastards. I thank you for your help, both of you."
Dimitri and the professor finished their talk with the Fraldarius Lord before going their separate ways. He had promised Rodrigue that he would look for Felix to tell him his father wished to meet with him. Normally, he would have headed straight for the training grounds. But if he knew anything about Felix, it would be that news of his father's arrival would mean he would be hiding away somewhere.
After searching several potential places and turning up empty handed, Dimitri went to check if Felix might be holing himself up in his quarters. As he ascended the stairs of the dormitories, Dimitri heard Eve's familiar voice floating down the hall. She was talking to Felix, a hand resting on his arm. The touch made Dimitri ball his hands into fists involuntarily, and he found himself frustrated that she would be so familiar with him.
"You should talk to him, you know." Eve was saying, a small frown on her face, as Dimitri approached the two.
"Rodrigue is looking for you." Dimitri announced his presence, standing beside Eve and wrapping an arm around her waist which did not go unnoticed by his childhood friend.
"Oh, Dimitri." She looked up at him, withdrawing her hand from Felix's arm. "Just the person I was looking for."
She brought up her other hand which was holding a metal tin engraved with an ornate pattern.
"Ferdinand gave me this tea as a gift. He said it's very rare." She rattled the tin a bit in emphasis. "I thought we could try it together?"
"Since when are you friends with Ferdinand?" Felix asked, annoyance flashing in his eyes at the mention of the Empire noble.
"Believe it or not," Eve sighed, "I don't just talk to you two."
"Regardless, Felix, your father is looking for you." Dimitri reiterated.
"Well, he can keep looking for all I care." Felix crossed his arms.
"Felix, talk to him." Eve chastised. "I don't know what it is with you and your father, but your relationship is never going to get better if you don't talk to him."
"What if I'm not interested in improving our relationship?" Felix challenged.
"I can't tell you what to do." Eve shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, Dimitri, shall we?"
Dimitri followed Eve as she made her way down the corridor and to his room. He couldn't help but revel in the fact that it was he with whom she chose to share her tea. The tin had been sealed, never before opened. It meant that she didn't want to share it with Felix or drink it on her own; she wanted to be with Dimitri. And no doubt Ferdinand had gifted the tea hoping that she would invite him to drink it with her.
But another, darker part of his mind wouldn't allow him to enjoy this small victory. Whispers from the depths of his thoughts chastised him for even daring to think Eve would desire him.
Why would she want to be with someone like you?
You're just using her to make yourself feel better.
She'd be better off with Felix.
You think you have the right to love when none of us ever can again?
"Stop!" Dimitri pleaded under his breath, clenching his fist so that his nails bit into his palm.
"Hm?" Eve turned from the kettle she had put on to look at the prince. "Did you say something?
"It's nothing." He shook his head, trying his best to smile comfortingly.
She turned back around with a shrug and Dimitri watched her carefully. Her hair shimmered like ink as she moved on silent feet to prepare their tea. She was graceful and beautiful and altogether too good for him. The voices of those he couldn't save were right; he didn't deserve her. But she had promised him, promised that she would do her best to be a good wife. Was it too much of him to ask her to keep her promise?
"Something's bothering you." Eve said over her steaming cup of tea, eyeing Dimitri as if he were a feral animal.
"Nothing is bothering me." Dimitri shook his head in denial.
"Don't lie to me." Eve sighed, placing her cup down gently. "Tell me what's on your mind, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd."
"I like to think I'm a man of my word." Dimitri started slowly, pausing to sip his tea.
"A knight of Faerghus never goes back on his word." Eve repeated to him what he had said to her their first day at the monastery with a small smile.
"And I feel that so far I have kept my promises to you." Dimitri continued, eyes scanning Eve's face for her reaction. "So, I feel that perhaps it would not be too much of me to ask you to keep your promises to me in return."
"Pardon?" Eve sputtered, taken aback. "What do you mean?"
"You promised me you would do your best to be a good wife." Dimitri pushed on despite his uncertainty.
"I know I was selfish in deciding to save Felix." Eve said. "But you have to understand that I have a promise to House Fraldarius too."
"This isn't about that." Dimitri shook his head.
"Then by all means, please tell me what it is about." Eve gestured towards the prince, frustrated.
"I've been trying very hard to accept you as my future wife." Dimitri sighed. "We have to spend the rest of our lives together."
"Are you saying you don't think I'm doing the same?" Eve sat back in her chair. "I've been doing my best to accept our fate together as well."
"Oh yeah, how?" Dimitri finally burst, his frustration and hurt feelings getting the best of him. "By kissing Felix?"
"Is that what this is about?" Eve scoffed.
"I saw you two in the infirmary." Dimitri's tone was accusatory.
"Felix kissed me." Eve said. "I didn't initiate."
"But you didn't push him away either." Dimitri shot back. "You said people would talk if I never produced an heir with you. And yet did you not consider that people would talk of your infidelity."
"My what?" Eve laughed bitterly. "It's a kiss, Dimitri. Yes, I should have pushed him away, you're right. But why are you so worked up? It's not like Felix took me to bed."
"Have you no shame speaking of things like that so easily?" Dimitri blushed at the idea of his fiancée and his childhood friend being together carnally.
"No, as a matter of fact, I don't." Eve answered. "And even if Felix had bedded me, why should it matter? It wouldn't reflect poorly on you even if anyone found out."
"Because I love you, Eve!" Dimitri snapped, rising from his chair to grab her by the shoulders desperately.
"Don't say that." She answered coldly, brushing his hands off of her.
"Eve, I know it hasn't been long since we met, but I can't ignore the feelings I've developed for you." Dimitri pleaded as he knelt down before Eve. "I find myself grateful that you and I are engaged to wed."
"You don't love me, Dimitri." Eve shook her head. "You don't even know me."
"Then let me know you." Dimitri took her hands in his, clasping them tightly.
"No." She answered simply.
"Why not?" He asked, his eyes boring into hers. "Are you so afraid to let me in? What's the worst that could happen if you allowed yourself just for a moment to open yourself up to me?"
"The worst that could happen is-!" Eve cut herself off as if just realising what she was about to say. "My past is complicated, Dimitri, it's dangerous if you get caught up in all of it more than you already have."
"Why do you always do that?" Dimitri asked.
"Do what?" Eve frowned.
"Any time you come anywhere near being honest you shut yourself off." Dimitri shook his head. "I can't even count the number of times you've almost told me something about you and instead changed the subject."
"As if you've been particularly forthcoming about yourself?" Eve raised an eyebrow.
"I've been nothing but honest with you." Dimitri answered, confused.
"Oh, really?" Eve withdrew her hands from his to cross her arms. "What about your friendship with Felix. You two were inseparable as kids, but now he hardly tolerates you. What happened there? What happened during that uprising? Why do your eyes sometimes cloud over with a sinister anger that you try so hard to hide under that princely façade? Well, Dimitri? Two can play that game."
"You're right." Dimitri hung his head, suddenly exhausted by his out-of-character outburst. "If I promise you to be more honest about my own path, could you promise to tell me more about yours?"
"No, I'm sorry." Eve sighed, cupping Dimitri's face gently with one hand to bring his gaze back up to hers. "You can keep your secrets if you want."
"Why won't you let me know you?" Dimitri asked, searching her eyes for some kind of answer.
"I told you," she sighed again, "my past is very complicated. It'll do you no good to know about who I am or what I've done."
"Why are you so opposed to the idea of me loving you?" Dimitri couldn't help but feel hurt at the rejection. "Is it Felix?"
"It's got nothing to do with Felix." Eve shook her head. "If you love me it makes all of this so much harder. It would be great if we could be friends and go through this marriage as partners and allies. But if you love me this marriage will only bring you pain and heartbreak."
"Not if you chose to love me back." Dimitri muttered softly, almost inaudible.
"I can't do that." Eve caressed Dimitri's cheek gently as if comforting a child. "I don't have the right to love someone again."
Dimitri looked up at Eve in wonder. Why would she say that? He could barely fathom that someone like Eve would feel the same way he did. Perhaps this is what he deserved. He didn't have the right to love anyone, or ever the right to continue on living, and yet he had dared to. Now the Goddess was punishing him for his hubris, for thinking he could happily love Eve despite the trail of corpses that filled his past.
"I think I've said enough." Eve stood, withdrawing her hand from his face. "I'm sorry to have hurt you, Dimitri, but it's for the best that you forget about your school-boy crush on me. I'll see you at supper."