Eve could feel her body rocking as if she were cradled in a boat upon the sea. With her eyes closed, she could even feel droplets of water peppering her face. She was at peace; her body was cold, but warm arms that felt like home were enveloped around her.
Slowly gaining consciousness, Eve forced her heavy eyelids open. She pieced together her surroundings bit by bit as she became more and more aware. She was riding side-saddle on a horse, a strong arm wrapped around her back and gripping her shoulder to support her. Her other shoulder was pressed into a warm chest and she could see in front of her was another arm carefully navigating the reigns of their steed.
Eve's eyes trailed up from the arm before her to see its owner's face. Thin lips were pressed into a tight line over a set jaw; hard eyes were trained forward on the path yet unseeing. His hair was plastered to his forehead with rainwater and sweat that trailed down his face and dripped off his chin onto Eve's cheek.
From this angle, he looked so beautiful.
"Eve, you're awake." He started when he glanced down and met her intense gaze.
"…mitri…" She muttered, suddenly noticing how dry her throat was.
"Here, have some water." He briefly released his hold on the reigns of his horse to reach for his water that was secured to the saddle.
Gratefully, she took the water in both her hands, undoing the top and bringing it to her lips. The cold liquid was welcome on her parched tongue and she closed her eyes in satisfaction.
"Where are we, Dimitri?" She asked once she had the strength to do so.
"We're on our way back to Garreg Mach, you've only been out a few hours." He explained, eyes trained on the path before them.
Eve's brow furrowed as she further studied Dimitri's face. He was so skilled in remaining calm and collected. He wasn't like the professor who had a blank face with no emotions, but rather he had somehow perfected the art of the 'positively neutral' expression. One could never tell the turmoil that was happening behind his kind eyes.
Softly, Eve reached out to cup Dimitri's cheek in her hand. His skin was soft beneath her fingers and she couldn't help but rub her thumb across his features. Had they ever shared a moment like this before? Eve always felt like she was being something for Dimitri, but now with no stamina left in her body she felt stripped away. Even so, she felt safe in his arms.
"What is it?" He asked in response to her touch.
"You're angry with me." She said slowly, retracting her hand.
"You were reckless in Conand Tower." He replied much to Eve's surprise. She had never heard his voice sound so harsh. "Did you not think of how dangerous it would be to use your Crest to its full extent like that?"
"I—" Eve started before Dimitri cut her off.
"You are not indestructible, Eve." He continued. "Using up all of your stamina like that, what if you were attacked? You would not have had the energy to fight back."
"I just wanted to protect them." Eve mumbled.
She wasn't even really sure herself why she had done it. But it was something along the lines of seeing these children fight against some of the hardest enemies they had ever encountered. This was not some small mission to send teenagers on. Eve could remember feeling rage that Rhea would use mere children as a shield to combat her problems. The Knights of Seiros should have dealt with Miklan. Or Margrave Gautier. Or Rodrigue. Or the King Regent. There were so many people that could have handled this without children being involved. And yet Eve found herself watching the people she had learned to call friends fighting against experienced bandits. Instinct had taken over.
"I wish there were something I could say that would make you realise you do not have to do everything on your own." Dimitri sighed.
"I know I don't have to do everything on my own." Eve said softly. "But there are certain things that only I can do."
"Twice now I have had to carry you like this, worried for your life." Dimitri's face took on a complicated look. "Are you so opposed to marrying me that you would rather die?"
"Is that what you think?" Eve asked, reaching out again to hold Dimitri's face in her hand.
It was dangerous, she knew, to be so tender with him in this moment. There was a lingering voice in the back of her mind telling her she was being cruel. Someone like Dimitri would of course misconstrue her compassion for affection and she would only feed the flames of his love for her. She knew that, yet Eve couldn't bring herself to draw away from him. He was so vulnerable; how could she not reach out to him?
"When it comes to you, I do not know what to think." Dimitri looked down at her with a pained expression, leaning ever so slightly into her touch.
"Dimitri, you're not a bad person." Eve said, holding his gaze in hopes to convey her sincerity. "Anyone would be very lucky to marry you. In fact, I am very lucky to be marrying you. You've saved me from a life of being the Archbishop's pawn. It hurts me to see you believe you are so undesirable I'd rather die than marry you."
"Someone like me is not worthy of love or even pity." Dimitri grimaced, looking back up at the road ahead of them.
"You're wrong, you know." Eve let her hand fall back into her lap at his movement. "I don't know what you think you've done, but your soul is not damned or irredeemable. You're a good man by heart, you have a desire to save people."
"And yet you do not love me." Dimitri replied quietly as if he hadn't meant to say it out loud.
"I'm sorry." The words came out of Eve's mouth before she was even really aware of what she was saying.
But it was true, she was sorry. She wished she hadn't been the first person Dimitri fell in love with. Someone like her would only ruin him and his hopeful outlook on the world. She wasn't necessarily sorry that she didn't love him, but more she was sorry that she had been the type of person to him that he thought he could be in love with.
"Rest." He said firmly. "We'll be back to Garreg Mach soon."
Eve nodded silently and allowed herself to close her eyes again. The movements of the horse beneath her that should have been uncomfortable served instead to lull her to sleep. And as she slept, she dreamed of home and of flowers in bloom. She dreamed of the training she endured under the cherry blossoms and the way the petals fell around her. She dreamed of duty and honour and how they weighed upon her shoulders as she grew up.
You do not have to do everything on your own.
But she did, she always had. The future of her nation had rested upon her shoulders. She was gifted with purpose, with a power given to her by a foreign goddess. She had to be a leader, a daughter, a wife. Only she alone could do those things. That was why it was so hard for her to let go of that notion now. It had been so long since she had been home, but there was no forgetting the foundation she had been brought up upon. She knew she was no longer who she used to be. Eve was now a student, a commoner thrust into nobility. She could rely on others now, but she was finding it nearly impossible.
Eventually, her dreams of a lifetime long lost left her and Eve awoke in her own room. She had been carefully tucked into her bed, the damp academy uniform she had been wearing previously switched out for her bedclothes. An ethereal orange glow filled her room as the setting sun poured in through her open window. As she sat up, Eve noticed the form slumped over at her desk sleeping quietly.
Again, she found herself thinking how beautiful he looked like this. Without the worry, without the façade he so often put forth. There was a gentleness about him that Eve couldn't help but be drawn to. She wanted to protect this youthful look that filled his features.
"Dimitri." She brushed his fringe out of his face as she whispered his name. "Dimitri, you'll be sore for days if you keep sleeping like that."
Slowly, his eyes opened and he blinked away the sleep that misted them.
"Eve?" He lifted his head from where they had been resting on his folded arms to look up at her.
"What are you doing here, Dimitri?" Eve asked, resting a hand comfortingly on his back.
"I did not mean to sleep." He said, standing to further wake himself up.
"It's okay, I don't mind." Eve smiled and stepped back.
"I…" Dimitri began but suddenly stopped when he finally looked at Eve in her nightclothes, his face erupting into a violent blush as he averted his eyes. "Apologies. I had Mercedes change you out of your wet clothes. I was worried you would catch a cold."
"Thank you." Eve said as she turned to retrieve a cloak from her drawers in order to cover herself for Dimitri's benefit. "It seems you're always worrying over me."
"You seem never to worry about yourself, so someone has got to do it." Dimitri frowned. His frowned deepened even further when his remark was met with a small laugh from Eve. "I mean it."
"I know you do." Eve chuckled lightly, stepping forward. "You chastise me for only worrying about others and yet here you are doing the same thing."
Dimitri's arm lifted as if he wanted to reach out and grab Eve's face, but halfway through the motion he let it fall back to his side. In his eyes it looked to Eve as if he were remembering something, and she was reminded of his promise never to touch her unless she asked it of him. And all at once she was reminded of how cruel she was to indulge in this quiet moment and the one they had shared earlier.
"Why must it be Felix?" He asked with a complicated look on his face.
"I can't tell you that." Eve shook her head sorrowfully. "I don't know why either."
"You say I am wrong to think I am unworthy of love, but what else am I to think when the one woman I have ever loved will not even look at me?" Dimitri seemed embarrassed by his question and Eve could understand why. He was feeling all of these things for the first time.
"Dimitri." Eve said his name firmly, demanding he look at her. "I'm here. I see you."
"Perhaps with your eyes, but your heart seeks out Felix." Dimitri shook his head. "I don't understand. It was I who you reached for at Conand Tower. Was it not me who carried you home? Who brought you here and ensured your safety? What more must I do?"
"It's not that it must be Felix, it just is." Eve tried her best to explain, though it didn't help that she herself still hadn't figured out exactly what it was she felt for Felix. "And it's not that there's something you must do. The right person should love you as you are."
"Then I must be damned for I do not believe there is any person who can love me as I am." Dimitri frowned, bringing his hands up to look at his palms. "Beneath these gloves I am not a man, but a monster."
"Every man is a monster in the eyes of his own sins." Eve reached out to place her hands in his, squeezing them lightly.
"Though some more than others." Dimitri muttered, staring down at their hands.
Eve sighed, also looking down at their hands. Soon enough, these very hands would be tied together by the ribbon of matrimony. She knew she would have to abandon whatever it was she felt for Felix, but the part of her that so staunchly opposed Rhea didn't want to. However, opposing Rhea in this situation would also mean opposing Dimitri and the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus. She was sure it was the only reason Rhea agreed to Rodrigue's proposal. Rhea knew that Eve would never do anything to destabilise the Kingdom and put House Fraldarius in peril. A defiant wife who acted against the church would sow the seed of doubt within the people of the Kingdom of Dimitri's ability to rule.
"Come here, Dimitri." Eve said softly, leading him by his hands as she came to sit on her bed.
"Eve, what are you…?" Dimitri's face once again erupted into a blush as she pulled him by his arm to guide him onto the bed.
"Just lay down." She instructed, patting her lap from where she sat at the head of her bed.
"You want me to…?" Once again, Dimitri was too embarrassed to finish his question.
"You're always taking care of me; I want to return the favour." She offered a small smile.
She watched, slightly amused, as he awkwardly clamoured onto her bed, removing his boots first. He laid down stiff as a board with his head nestled in her crossed legs. Eve had to stifle a laugh as Dimitri fought to look everywhere except up at her face, his own a lovely shade of scarlet by now. But once again, a small voice in the back of her head chastised her for torturing the poor boy with a hope of love.
Softly, Eve began to hum the tune of a song from her home. As she hummed, she ran her fingers through Dimitri's hair. It was silky between her fingers, like spun gold. Soon enough Dimitri's stiff posture relaxed, and he closed his eyes. And as Eve continued to hum his breath slowed and evened out until he was fully asleep.
Eve smiled down at his sleeping face, once more revelling in how peaceful he could look like this. She was a completely selfish being, tugging around this boy at her every whim. And even more so she was continuing to entertain her little crush on Felix. She knew it was unfair, and yet here she was leaning down to place a gentle kiss on Dimitri's forehead.
"Sleep well, little prince."
(a/n: AppropriateLlama I hope you enjoyed this lol. When I saw your last review, I thought it was very fitting that this was the next chapter I had planned. More updates coming soon!)