"Here you are."
Eve smiled as she approached Felix on the bridge that led to the Cathedral. He had looked so at peace, looking out at the chasm below, that she almost didn't want to call out to him.
"Were you looking for me?" Felix turned to look at her as she came to stand beside him.
"Hm not necessarily." Eve mused. "Just wondered where you were when I didn't see you for lunch and couldn't find you in the training hall."
"I don't live in the training hall." Felix huffed.
"Fooled me." Eve teased with a grin and a chuckle.
"Were you going to the Cathedral?" Felix asked, wondering why she would be headed that way if she wasn't looking for him. "I thought you didn't pray."
"Perhaps I'm feeling a little extra devout." Eve sighed, turning her gaze upward to look towards the heavens. She brought her head back down when she was struck by a particular thought. "Why don't you pray, Felix? Your father is rather religious."
"I don't believe in all that." Felix scoffed. "My father might be a blind fool, but I don't put my stock in an imaginary woman."
"But why not?" Eve asked with a small frown. "I'm not trying to convince you of anything—Goddess knows I'm no poster child for the Church of Seiros—I'm just curious is all."
"My mother." Felix answered simply.
"Your mother?" Eve echoed, her frown deepening in confusion.
Felix didn't know, but Eve had very much known his mother. She had been just as devout a follower of the Church of Serios as Rodrigue was. And besides, she had died when Felix was still just an infant. How could she have influenced his belief?
"I don't know if you know this, but she died in the plague shortly after giving birth to me." It was Felix's turn to lift his head up towards the sky as he spoke. "She was a good person—or so my father and my brother told me. Why would a so-called 'benevolent' goddess kill a good person?"
Felix now turned to look at Eve intensely, a shocking vulnerability in his eyes. He had been opening up more and more to her in recent days, and Eve wasn't sure what to do about it. Should she be happy that he was finally learning to be vulnerable? Or should she be more sceptical and regard it simply as another one of his ploys to get her to choose him over Dimitri?
"So, either the Goddess doesn't exist, or she does and she let my mother die." Felix continued.
"What if it's neither?" Eve asked quietly.
"What do you mean?" Felix frowned.
"What if the Goddess does exist, but she's just…gone?" Eve elaborated. "I believe in the Goddess; I believe she exists. But what if she's just been sleeping or dormant or something, and that's why things are the way they are? It's why I often don't pray because I always felt like no one was listening. But something has changed, shifted. I get this feeling like maybe the Goddess is waking up or some form of her is coming back to Fodlan."
She knew she couldn't tell Felix all that she knew that made her believe this. But between what Rhea had wanted her to do all those years ago and what she knew had been done to the Professor, Eve was sure some piece of the Goddess had returned to Fodlan. Even if for now it only manifested as the Professor's ability to wield the Sword of the Creator, Eve could feel the power of the Goddess growing.
"That's a nice thing to believe." Felix sounded forlorn which surprised Eve.
She had expected him to laugh at her or call her foolish; she never would have expected for him to look like he wished he thought that way too.
"What do you believe in, Felix?" Eve asked, watching him closely.
"You." He said with an astonishing amount of certainty. "Me. The people and things that I can see. What use does it do me to believe in something that may or may not exist when I can put my faith in something real?"
As he turned to look at her, Eve suddenly felt her resolve crumble. His gaze was direct, piercing, looking directly through her and into her soul. His faith in her, in what he felt for her, made Eve wonder if she could really go through with the wedding after all.
If she believed in the Goddess and in divine intervention, then she had to have loved Felix for some reason. Following the path of faith and destiny meant that Eve would have to believe that she was meant to love Felix and therefore perhaps meant to break her vow to Dimitri.
And yet if Eve took Felix's approach and believed in herself and the things before her, then didn't she still have to consider that she was meant to break her vow? She loved Felix, of this she was sure now, and her heart had not wavered. Even now when she should have been preparing to let him go, she was still clinging to what little time she had with him.
Both paths seemed to lead to Felix, and Eve had been staunchly ignoring this fact up until now. But what was she to do? All of her anxieties about what could happen should she refuse to marry Dimitri still stood. And after the situation in Remire, Eve was even more sure that something nefarious was happing in Fodlan. She wasn't so narcissistic as to believe that she could change the course of the nation, but could she really afford to potentially destabilise the Church and the Kingdom over her selfish desire?
"Hey, can you do me a favour?" Felix asked suddenly, his tone changing to a drastically more casual one.
"What is it?" Eve asked with a small frown as she tried to shake away the thoughts clouding her mind.
"Do you think you can volunteer for the White Heron Cup?" He asked.
"What, why?" Eve balked. "I don't want to do it."
"Well, maybe convince the Professor to pick Flayn or something. I know she's been practically begging to represent the Blue Lions." Felix suggested with a shrug. "Or even Ferdinand. I think Edelgard is representing the Black Eagles and I'm sure he'd jump at the opportunity to prove he's better than her at something."
"I'm pretty sure Dorothea is representing the Black Eagles." Eve's brow furrowed as she spoke. "And why does it matter to you anyways?"
"The Professor picked me for some reason, and I was hoping you'd be able to convince her otherwise." Felix sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, a tinge of embarrassment in his features.
"You don't want to?" Eve cocked her head to the side, grinning at the slight blush that dusted his cheeks.
"Like hell I do!" He barked. "This stupid dance contest shouldn't even be happening. Doesn't anyone care that the librarian betrayed us and the Death Knight is back?"
"Dancing is more useful than you think, Felix." Eve smiled gently.
"If you're talking about events that I'll have to attend as a noble, I want no part in them." Felix grumbled. "I'm only interested in things that'll help me on the battlefield."
"Perhaps I can convince you." Eve said. "Come with me to the training grounds."
Without waiting for a response, Eve turned on her heel and began walking towards the training hall. She knew without looking that Felix would follow her without question, though this did leave a bit of a bitter taste in her mouth.
When they got to the training grounds, Eve went straight to the rack of wooden swords and grabbed one for her and one for Felix.
"Spar me." She said as she tossed the sword to Felix who caught it with ease.
"And what?" He raised a sceptical eyebrow. "If you win, I have to participate in the White Heron Cup?"
"Not exactly." Eve smiled. "You'll see in a moment."
She knew Felix wouldn't argue. For one, it was her who was asking him to do it. But also, Felix never needed an excuse to swing his sword. Immediately, he took up his stance and began to circle her.
Eve waited for Felix to make the first move, and she didn't have to wait for long. He swung at her with gusto, letting his sword follow a large arc that would have been hard to dodge. But Eve quickly twirled out of reach from his blade on the balls of her feet. Felix was quick to follow up with another onslaught of attacks, but Eve nimbly danced out of the reach of all of them without ever needing to raise her own blade to block.
"Stop dodging and fight me, dammit." Felix growled after a few frustrated minutes of this.
"If you insist." Eve shrugged, once again dancing out of reach of his attacks.
In one swift movement, she dodged the thrust of his sword and turned so that she was behind him. Before he could even react and turn around, she had struck the backs of his knees forcing him to fall to the ground.
"How-?" Felix looked up at her with clear frustration in his eyes as Eve offered a hand to pull him up to his feet.
"A lot of dancing footwork can be applied to fencing and just battle in general." Eve explained as he took her hand. "Dancing requires you to be light on your feet and shift your stance at the flip of a gold coin. Everything I did to dodge your attacks was dancing footwork."
"Okay, so maybe you have a point." Felix grumbled. "I still don't want to do this stupid dance contest."
"Even if I help you train?" Eve raised an eyebrow.
"I already had a training session with the Professor." Felix said.
"The best way to learn to dance is with a partner." Eve replied with a smile, once again extending her hand to him.
"If I look stupid during the competition, I'm blaming you." Felix grumbled, though he accepted her hand as a light blush formed on his cheeks.
Eve started with the basics, walking Felix through the different stances and steps. She relished the opportunity to hold him close, to dance with him as though they could be allowed to stay like this. And a renegade part of her heart wondered if this was what it would be like should she choose him. Would they go to balls together as the Lord and Lady of House Fraldarius? Would she be able to convince Felix to join her for just one dance as he grumbled about how stupid and stuffy those events were?
It doesn't matter. She chastised herself. I'm going to marry Dimitri and that will be the end of it. This is the path I have to take.
But it wasn't the path she wanted to take, and her heart ached for it. She felt so stupid, so selfish, for letting her heart run wild like this and allowing her to consider a different path. She had to marry Dimitri, right?
Goddess help me. She pleaded as they danced together. Show me the path between my heart and my duty. Am I allowed to be selfish? Can I take this path my heart has put me upon?
Eve had never pleaded like this to the Goddess before, and she had definitely never hoped so badly for a response. Some modicum of the Goddess had returned to Fodlan. And she could only hope that enough of her was there to give her some kind of answer. Because Eve could no longer count on her willpower to keep her on the path of duty.
"What are you thinking?" Felix asked as they took a break from their dancing. "You've been so quiet this afternoon."
"I was just thinking how much I like these moments like this." Eve offered a half-truth with a smile.
"But it wasn't enough." Felix said with a certain melancholy that tore straight through Eve's heart.
"What do you mean?" Eve asked, though she knew exactly what he meant.
"The White Heron Cup is soon which means the ball is soon which means the wedding is soon." Felix elaborated. "And I wasn't enough to convince you not to marry the boar."
"If it makes you feel better, nothing would have been enough." Eve said softly, though the thoughts that clouded both her mind and her heart were saying differently.
"You have your duty." Felix nodded. "I respect that you honour that."
"There's just too much at stake, Felix." She sighed, reaching out to cup his cheek in her hand.
"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" Felix asked, once again looking at Eve as if he could see right through her.
"Does it matter?" Eve tried to smile, forcing down her doubts with a swallow.
"Just promise me one thing." Felix said, leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers.
"Anything." Eve breathed with her eyes closed.
"Don't lose yourself for him." Felix said. "I don't want you to change into whatever makes the boar comfortable. Stay true to yourself. And don't forget your promise that you won't die on me. You especially cannot die for the boar."
"I won't." Eve whispered despite everything in her being screaming at her not to make promises she couldn't keep. "I promise you."
(A/N: So sorry about the shorter chapter and again for the gap in updates. Maybe one day I'll have a steady update schedule.)