Byleth sat in her office staring blankly ahead at nothing in particular. She could not bring herself to get up, to eat, to do anything. She had gone to her office from her quarters to try to write a mission report for the Archbishop, but her quill seemed impossibly heavy in her hand—far too heavy to write with.
"Professor?" The meek voice on the other side of the door was paired with two short raps on the wood.
"Come in." Byleth cleared her throat, trying to focus her eyes as the door opened.
"Hi."
It was Eve who opened the door, one of her arms hooked into the handle of a covered basket. She stood in the threshold, waiting for permission to encroach on the Professor's space.
"Come in." Byleth said again as she pushed aside her inkpot and the empty piece of parchment that sat in front of her.
"I thought you might like some tea." Eve said as she came forward, setting the basket down and taking out the supplies to make a pot of tea along with a couple snacks.
Byleth had half the mind to refuse the offer but said nothing at Sothis' behest.
"A little food and drink would do you some good, don't be foolish." Sothis chastised gently.
"And I wanted to talk to you about…" Eve trailed off as she set the kettle atop the small tea warmer, igniting it with a fire spell.
"Yes," Byleth nodded, "I suppose I promised you the truth."
"No." Eve shook her head, brow furrowed. "That's not what I'm here for. That isn't important right now; you can tell me the truth in your own time. Besides, I've been able to put together a few pieces of the puzzle already. Though I think you're aware of that and that's why you trusted me enough to tell me what you did in the first place."
Byleth nodded absently. Eve was right, the Professor had some inkling that Eve had already figured out a few things about her circumstances. The way Eve would address Byleth as if she knew Sothis was there was the first hint.
"I wanted to talk to you about what happened." Eve said as she poured the two of them tea.
"Thank you." Byleth said when her student pushed the steaming cup towards her along with a plate of finger sandwiches.
"I know no two pains are the same—especially when it comes to grief." Eve started. "And I will not sit here and tell you I know how you feel. But I am perhaps more uniquely situated than most to understand some of your pain."
Byleth simply nodded to indicate she was listening, nibbling tentatively at one of the sandwiches.
"I too watched my father die before me." Eve looked down at her tea as her eyebrows creased ever so slightly. "And I too tried to use my…power…to save him to no avail. Because of me, my father had to suffer two deaths. I know the weight a death can bear on you when you feel that you had the ability to stop it or fix it."
Byleth swallowed thickly and the sandwich she was eating felt like coarse grit going down. Though, she did note that the taste was not bad. She could picture Eve going down to the kitchens, bribing the cooks with a bottle of wine to borrow the space and ingredients to make this spread. She wondered if the other Blue Lions knew she was there. Had they sent Eve as an envoy to check on their professor? Surely, they would have sent Dimitri if that were the case, though.
"Professor, I'm sure plenty of people have tried to impart their wisdom to you about how they deal with grief." Eve paused to sip her tea. "But do you mind terribly if I say one more thing?"
"No, I don't mind." Byleth shook her head.
It was true that plenty of people had tried to tell her something to lift her spirits or give her grief perspective. Dimitri had given her his impassioned speech on looking deep within to find what she must do next with the burden of survival. And though she had tried looking within herself, Byleth couldn't find anything other than rage and a desire for revenge.
"I have lived a life of solitude for a very long time." Eve began. "And solitude is perhaps only a catalyst for grief. My family passed a very long time ago, and yet until very recently I was still holding onto the grief of their loss. Do you know what changed, Professor?"
Byleth took another bite of her sandwich and shook her head no.
"I came here." Eve offered a small smile. And unlike many of the smiles that Byleth had seen Eve grace her classmates with, this one seemed truly affected by emotion. "I met you, and Dimitri, and Sylvain. I met Ferdinand and Claude and Felix. I was thrust into the chaos that is the Officer's Academy. I met some of the most rambunctious, impulsive, lively youths. And at first, I was overwhelmed. I had a disdain for the way they lived their lives so flippantly. But as I got to know them, as I spent more time with everyone here, I began to open up. I stopped letting my heart be defined by its loss and started defining it by living. Being here forced me to be young."
Eve paused a moment and looked down at her hands, a wistful smile still on her lips.
"All of this to say…everyone here loves you very much, Professor." Eve met the Professor's eyes as she spoke. "And I'm not saying you have to do it now, please take all the time you need. But when you're ready, let everyone here love you the way they do. Let yourself get swept up in your youth and see living as less of a burden and more of a gift."
Byleth watched as her student downed the rest of her tea and set the cup down with a clink. Eve stood suddenly as if to punctuate her point with a sense of finality.
"There's a reason we've survived." She said. "There has to be. And we don't have to figure that out now. But one day you and I will contribute to something bigger than all of us—that is why we have lived when so many have died."
With that, Eve turned and left, leaving the Professor to contemplate her words. But as she sat there, eyes fixed on the flame of the tea warmer, Byleth could only think of how hungry she now was. And for the first time since her father died, Byleth's stomach rumbled.
"How are you feeling?" Dimitri fell into step with Eve as she walked out of the Professor's office.
"You're asking how I'm doing?" Eve raised an eyebrow as the two of them made their way to the Blue Lion's classroom where the others were waiting for a report on the Professor. "The Professor is the one whose father died, and you're asking how I'm doing?"
"Yes, I am asking my wife who has a tendency to blame herself for the losses around her how she's holding up." Dimitri stopped, turning to face Eve.
"When did you start challenging me so openly?" Eve sighed, glossing over the fact that she had never heard Dimitri refer to her as his wife before. And she hated to admit that something inside her stirred at the simple word.
"Since I can't stand to see more people around me hurting." Dimitri replied.
"I'm doing better than I was." Eve started walking again, not bothering to lie since she knew Dimitri would see straight through her anyways. "I know I did the right thing by saving Yuri, and I don't regret it, I just wish I could have saved them both."
"You can't save everyone, Eve." The prince shook his head as he once again fell into step beside her.
"You keep telling me that and it never hurts any less the more I hear it." Eve grimaced at the ground.
"…I heard what you said in there." Dimitri admitted. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but it wasn't like the office doors were made of solid steel. "About how being here has helped you heal. Was that true?"
"Yes." Eve nodded. "Everything I said in there was true."
"Then I am thankful I have been able to contribute to healing your heart." He offered her a gentle smile. "I feared that my love had only caused you pain and that by marrying me you would be nothing but miserable."
"Dimitri, you saved me." Eve looked over at him. "I know the path to our marriage has been a tumultuous one—and that I hurt you very much along the way. But I have never forgotten that all of this was because you agreed to help me fulfil my selfish desire to stay out of the Church's clutches."
"You know I accepted Lord Rodrigue's proposal for selfish reasons." Dimitri shook his head as they approached the door to the Blue Lion's classroom.
"But you accepted and that's what matters." Eve said, a hand resting on the door to speak before she pushed it open.
Waiting eagerly inside were the rest of the Blue Lions. They had been chatting amongst themselves before Eve and Dimitri entered, but all of the din came to a halt the moment the two of them appeared.
"So?" It was Ashe who broke the silence, leaning forward expectantly.
"How's the Professor?
"Did they say anything?"
"When do you think they'll come back to teaching?"
"Did she eat?"
A cacophony of questions was flung at the pair as everyone let their anticipation finally burst.
"The Professor seems…better." Eve started. "This will take time and it's important we give her all the time she needs."
"You weren't there for very long." Yuri noted.
"Yes." Eve nodded. "I didn't want to push her. I made the tea, put out the food, and spoke very briefly. I didn't want the Professor feeling overwhelmed or pressured. I didn't want it to feel like I was checking in on her."
"Did she eat the sweets?" Annette's eyes sparkled hopefully. "Mercie and I worked real hard on them."
"No, but I left them there for her." Eve answered. "She started eating one of the sandwiches while we talked, though. I think she finally worked up a bit of an appetite, so I think she'll eat the sweets later."
"That's a relief." Ingrid sighed, looking down at the floor.
Everyone had been out of sorts since the Captain had been killed. Not only was it tough to witness an ally falling, it was also hard on everyone to see their stoic and steadfast Professor look so broken. The Professor hadn't been spotted in the dining room since the incident, and the only glimpses people got of her were on the rare times she was walking between her quarters and her office.
"Well, I suppose there is nothing more we can do now but wait." Dedue said with a small nod.
Everyone else muttered similar sentiments, shifting to get up from their various perches. There was nothing more they could do now. They were all waiting on the Professor and even still waiting on the Knights of Seiros to find the culprits behind the Captain's murder. Sitting around moping wasn't going to help.
"Thanks for letting me talk to her." Eve said when it was only her and Dimitri left in the room.
"Of course." Dimitri frowned slightly as if offended she considered he wouldn't have.
"I also think that she would have suspected we were checking up on her if you were the one to come by." Eve said absently, pacing the length of the classroom and coming to a stop just before the Professor's desk.
"You don't have to justify yourself to me." Dimitri said softly as he watched her hop up to sit on the edge of the desk.
"But I know you're wondering why I asked." Eve scrunched up her nose, looking down at the floor rather than up at her husband.
"Of course I am." Dimitri walked over to her. "But you know I won't pry."
"Your words don't, but your eyes do." Eve looked up at him.
Dimitri opened his mouth to reply, but immediately closed it again. He knew she was right. For as much as he had always tried to keep his emotions in check—especially around Eve—he knew his eyes always betrayed him. He remembered what she had said to him in the Goddess Tower the night before their wedding about his eyes betraying him.
"It's selfish, really." Eve sighed when he didn't respond.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Dimitri shook his head.
"I promised you I'd learn to love you." Eve replied. "And forcing myself to be a little more candid with you is a step in that direction. Wives don't usually lie to their husbands on a regular basis—at least the good ones don't."
"I don't think you could be a bad wife if you tried." Dimitri huffed in a small laugh.
"Oh, I could." Eve raised her eyebrows. "Anyways, the reason I wanted to talk to the Professor was because I was there this time."
"There?" Dimitri cocked his head to the side.
"I wasn't there for Felix when Glenn died, I wasn't there for you when your father died." Eve explained. "I've seen the pain and the hurt that the people I care about live with and I can't go back in time and console them to lessen that pain. But the Professor is here now and so am I. I couldn't save Jeralt, but maybe I can be there for the Professor in a way that's meaningful."
"You just want to save everyone, don't you?" Dimitri smiled gently, cupping Eve's face in his hand.
"I lived for a reason, didn't I?" Eve frowned. "All of the calamity I've faced and somehow I still stand here before you. There has to be a reason. And I will not stop trying to save the lives of those around me for as long as I still have mine."
"Then as your husband I will do everything in my power to help you in this endeavour." Dimitri caressed her cheek gently with his thumb.
And despite his better judgement, Dimitri was drawn in by Eve's vulnerability and candour to the point that he could not resist his pull to her. So, with half of his mind chastising him for his desires and the other half justifying that she was his wife and if she wanted to, she'd pull away, he closed the distance between them to press his lips gently to hers. He half expected her to pull away or push him back but instead she returned his kiss, leaning forward to press into it.
"Ahem."
Dimitri whipped around, embarrassed, at the sound of someone loudly clearing their throat. And when he realised who it was, Dimitri shifted from embarrassment to mortification.
"Felix." He blurted out his friend's name, self-consciously wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
"The Archbishop is looking for you, Eve." The Fraldarius heir all but spat out and pivoted on his heel to exit, the slam of the classroom door reverberating loudly in both of their ears.