WARNING:

This chapter discusses host torture and may be upsetting to the reader.

Aftran felt her body being lifted from the water, then make contact with some liquid solution. Not water, she knew. This must be the DNA human morph. For a moment, Aftran worried about what she was supposed to do. She had forgotten Cassie's instructions. Would the solution be acquired automatically, or did she have to concentrate in order to complete the process? Moreover, how did one acquire a generic human in this manner? Should she focus on the image of a human, now, or would mere exposure to it be enough?

Thinking that it couldn't hurt to follow the instructions she had once received, Aftran focused as though she was acquiring an actual human, instead of a solution. A few seconds after she did this-or thought that she did this-her body was lifted again away from the solution.

Time to attempt to morph.

Had she been human-well, she would be, soon enough-she would have taken a deep breath. This was impossible as a Yeerk, so she merely summoned the image of a generic human in her mind and focused on becoming that.

The changes came immediately. Another mental sigh of relief-it had worked.

It was, naturally, just as terrifying as before, despite being painless. Bones growing, limbs and arms forming out of her slimy body. Sight returning.

The sight was the best part. Whales only saw in black and white, so seeing in color again would have made her gasp in awe-had her lungs finished forming.

Before long, the changes were complete. She was human.

Aftran had never been human before. Not entirely. Oh, she'd infested two humans, of course, had lived in their bodies and operated them, felt them as acutely as though she was one. Every scrape that Karen had been through, every food she had eaten, every time sleep had rendered her small body unconscious for one more night. She had experienced all of those as much as though she had been Karen.

This time, though, there was no mind underneath hers. It was not like having a broken host, because the minds of broken hosts were still present, however faintly. Their memories were still there.

Now, her borrowed body had the usual instincts, and certainly the intelligence of an average human being, but that was all. She was alone in her head.

No screaming, no protests. No attempts at fighting for control. On the other hand, no company. No other mind beside hers.

Aftran had missed this. Yeerks had evolved to inhabit other bodies, after all. When they were not inside of their hosts, they were with other Yeerks in the pool. Conversation might have been limited due to the police state the empire had become, but there was always company available for those who wanted it.

This human mind felt so empty. Much like a broken host.

Well, not for long, Aftran reminded herself. Cassie would be there before long.

Of course, Cassie would also be taking away all freedom of movement currently available to Aftran. Then, going through her memories one by one.

Then again, hadn't Aftran had done the same to her previous hosts, without a care in the world about them personally? They were simply bodies for her to use.

Until, of course, they became more to her.

Until she met Karen, who may have been a small child, but was as real a person as any Yeerk she had ever known.

And Cassie, of course. Who had made her believe that there could be a better way. If only they both made a major sacrifice for the other.

It had occurred to Aftran, on more than one occasion during the past couple of decades, that both had managed to escape their ends of the deal.

Aftran could see again, and soon, she would have a human host.

And Cassie had escaped because of the butterfly loophole, as Aftran privately called thought of it.

Now, as the changes in her new temporary body finalized, completed, Aftran felt Cassie's arms around her. This was rather awkward, though, since Aftran became aware that she was entirely naked.

Also, that she was a female, which was especially awkward since most of the people in the room with them were male.

"Here," said one of the men, handing her a pair of medical scrubs, while averting his gaze.

She noted that his face did not look particularly red. He'd probably been through this process on numerous occasions. The Animorphs had taught themselves how to morph clothing to avoid precisely this sort of situation, but they had to be wearing clothing to start. A temporary human morph clearly did not contain clothes in their DNA setup.

"Thanks," said Aftran, taking them and putting them on, hastily. She knew that she didn't have much time to waste, not if Cassie was to morph Yeerk and put in the hour and fifty minutes. Aftran didn't want to risk becoming a nothlit again, even if there was more of the antidote ready for her.

Cassie blushed. "Sorry, Aftran. I didn't think-I was just so happy to see you."

Aftran just laughed. "Well, soon, you're going to see seeing through me."

She nodded, suddenly looking grim. "Right. Okay, you're sure this is okay?"

"Yes," Aftran managed.

Not that she could change her mind, now.

Not that she really wanted to.

This was Cassie, after all.

Cassie began to morph, and Aftran looked away. She knew that Cassie could make morphing look somewhat visually appealing-she had that rare talent-but no one could make the transition from human to Yeerk look like anything except a scene out of a horror movie.

The change only took a few minutes. Aftran exhaled, picked up Cassie, and glanced at the clock. 2:02PM. Cassie would be in her brain until 3:52.

Answering her unasked question, the same man who gave Aftran the scrubs said, "You completed your morph at 1:57. So, you'd better hurry."

There would be five minutes left after the allotted time for her. Ten for Cassie.

She placed Cassie to her ear, and felt a brief sting of pain as Cassie began to push her away in.

Only brief. Cassie sprayed the painkiller immediately, and soon, all Aftran could feel was pushing as Cassie made her way in. Her legs felt weak, and she glanced around for a chair in the room. Not knowing how long she had before she would lose control, she races over and plopped herself down, then breathed a sigh of relief. Much better.

Almost as soon as Aftran did so, she felt herself loose control. It was slow, yet sudden. Random parts of her body ceased to belong to her. She felt sick, and wondered if Cassie would be able to take control completely before she threw up. She started to put a hand to her mouth, only to realize that this hand no longer belonged to her.

Fortunately, the other one still did. She covered her mouth with it, waiting for the nausea to pass. And then, that hand ceased to her hers, as well.

This is really happening, Aftran told herself. I'm being infested. Everything I've done to my previous hosts, it's being done to me.

This was what they went through every three days. Freedom for two hours, and then takeover by her. Slow, gradual, but complete. Until their bodies were no longer their own.

And soon, her mind would no longer be her own.

Cassie would have access to everything. She would know every single detail of Aftran's life. See how she had treated her other hosts. How she had treated Karen. Which had been gentle, by Yeerk standards, even bordering on host sympathy at times. But to Cassie? Cassie might be sympathetic, might see everything through Aftran's perspective, but she was bound to be horrified by the fact that Aftran had taken Karen by force for nearly a year.

As she was worrying about this, Aftran became aware that she had lost all control. She could not even breathe on her own. Cassie was moving her body, shifting herself in the chair. Moving her fingers-well, the fingers of the human morph she occupied-and speaking to the members of the military. Three, in all.

"I have control," she said. "What time is it?"

"2:04," the man who had provided Aftran with clothing answered. "The Yeerk nothlit has been in morph since 1:57. You will need to get out of her body at 3:54, and she'll have three minutes to demorph. Otherwise, we'll need to administer another dosage of the injection."

"Do you have any on hand?" Cassie questioned.

He nodded. "Just in case we need it."

"I could leave Aftran's head earlier," she offered. "It shouldn't take the full hour and fifty minutes to go through my host's mind?"

Aftran would have started, had she had control over her body, at the words "my host".

Instantly, she heard Cassie's response in her head.

(Just trying not to sound biased, Aftran. Don't worry.) Then, she laughed, a little self awkwardly. (Well, as much as you can manage not to.)

(Right,) Aftran replied, grimly.

She would have given anything to be able to move her face muscles, to take a deep breath. But that was not allowed, and she wouldn't ask Cassie to break more rules for her.

"-minutes is the rule," the man said. "Unless you want to make an exception for her, as she's been in the Peace Movement."

Cassie laughed a little. "I wanted to make an exception for all of this," she said, gesturing to Aftran's borrowed morph. "But she insisted. No, I'll stay the full time."

The man nodded, and Aftran felt Cassie move her eyes away from him. Take a deep breath, but whether this was for her own benefit or Aftran's or both, Aftran didn't know.

She wasn't privy to Cassie's thoughts, after all.

Of course, Cassie was privy to hers.

(Aftran, it's going to be okay,) Cassie promised, speaking gently. (I won't hurt you.)

Aftran tried to hide her thoughts that infestation was a form of hurt. Well, not always, certainly. Not with a willing host. Or, at least, not with a willing host who had been through it before, who was used to it. Still.

(I know,) Aftran replied, trying to hide her thoughts, her wishes, of being in control. If only in part.

This is what my previous hosts went through, she reminded herself.

She felt Cassie hesitate before opening her memory. No doubt, it wasn't helped by Aftran's mental tensing up.

(Just do it,) Aftran begged.

She felt Cassie's sadness. (That's what Rachel used to say.)

(I'm sorry.)

Aftran felt Cassie pull herself together, mentally. Take another few deep breaths, and then, open the flood of Aftran's memories.

Cassie had seen some of them before. Aftran had showed them to her when she had infested Cassie. As a way of evening the playing field, Aftran had thought at the time. To show her new, temporary, host her own life experiences.

To show her what it meant to be a Yeerk.

Aftran being named and given a designation. Aftran Nine-Four-Two of the Hett Simplatt Pool. Being explained about training. Told to infest the disabled Gedd, but only for fifteen minutes. They were training hosts, used to acclimate young Yeerks, such as herself, to the process of taking over the mind and body of another being.

Yes, that was exactly as they put it. It was their right, as Yeerks, to infest others. But not all Yeerks would be given hosts immediately. If Aftran was chosen to receive a host after today, this would be what she could expect.

The old mind of the Gedd. Used to being used as a body for the better part of two years. Aftran pushed this aside, eager to experience everything she could about this new host body in the fifteen minutes she was allowed.

Arms! Legs! Best of all, sight! So much stronger than the sonar images she received in the Yeerk Pool. These were called-eyes? And most hosts had them. Aftran just stood still, staring at her surroundings. They were in a Yeerk ship hovering just above the Hork-Bajir home world, she knew. Had been told. Looking back, there wasn't much of interest to see. But at the time, everything felt so glorious.

She hardly had time to flex her arms and move her legs before it was time to vacate the Gedd.

Half of the Yeerks she spoke to felt overwhelmed by the experience. The other half could not wait until they could receive a Gedd host of their own.

None said anything about the mind of the Gedd. But, then again, there had not been very much there to begin with. Gedds were barely sentient, and this one had been disabled, so lacking of even that intelligence. At least, that's what Aftran and the others had been told. Perhaps, the Gedd was simply old, and tired. Maybe, it wasn't that there wasn't much there so much as she hadn't bothered to look. Hadn't been allowed to remain long enough to search.

Looking back, seeing the memory along with Cassie, she wished that she had thought to speak to the Gedd.

The memory over, Aftran felt Cassie hesitate.

(Do you need anything, Aftran? Do you want to talk?)

Cassie's voice was so gentle. What would she think after she saw some of Aftran's later memories?

(No, Cassie. Just keep going. Please,) Aftran replied, wishing she could shut her eyes.

Wishing she could block out everything.

The next memory was of her first official host. Also a Gedd. This one was called Grashhatijou, but calling hosts by their names was frowned upon. Besides, even internally, the name was nearly impossible to pronounce. A human might have given the Gedd a nickname, but Aftran had never even heard of this before she had infested Karen.

From her lessons since her initial training, Aftran knew that Gedds were somewhat sentient, and had been used as hosts long before the vile Andalites invaded the home world. The Yeerks, back then, had a symbiotic relationship with the Gedds. They had been easy on them, as well. Because there hadn't been a need to fight the Andalites, or any other alien army, they could afford to sit back and allow the Gedds to take control-most of the time. They could guide the Gedds through their intelligence and occasional order or taking of control.

Of course, the instructors were quick to point out, things were different, now. They were using the Gedds for the empire, not for the cultivation of the Yeerk home world. Not that they should be brutal to them, but a Yeerk must make sure that the Gedd knew who was in charge. Preferably, of course, by kindness and discipline. The Yeerk should not use fear tactics or mental force (torture, Aftran now knew) without cause. A Gedd should still be controlled completely by the Yeerk, but should not fear the Yeerk unnecessarily.

This Gedd, Aftran saw as soon as she opened his memories, had been controlled by three Yeerks prior to her. None of which had been unnecessarily cruel, or kind. They had made the Gedd see his place, had made him what empire Yeerks called a Shalkat-which was a host who recognized to the extent of their ability the power their Yeerk had over them, often by means of discipline. Well, that was what the empire called it. Most humans would call it torture. Not that the treatment of this Gedd had been overly harsh. He had simply been molded into an acceptable host by the first Yeerk who had infested him, by a combination of kindness and discipline, and the others had gone forward reaping the benefits of a compliant host. The Gedd, once Aftran had him, was not exactly broken, but not resistant. And because Gedds were not very intelligent, any communication was through emotions, rather than words. He did not exactly fear Aftran, but he respected her, and he behaved.

She, meanwhile, mostly ignored him, once she found him to be an easy host.

More guilt flooded her after that memory was over. After all, she could have done more for her host than simply pretend he was not there.

(At least you didn't hurt him,) came Cassie's voice.

(I didn't help him, either,) Aftran replied. She sighed, knowing what Cassie saw would only get worse. And, of course, Cassie would hear these thoughts as well. (Keep going,) she requested.

Going from a Gedd to a Hork-Bajir was like...well, there really was no comparison. Next to her new host, the Gedd was nearly blind. Crippled, even though his body was in perfect health, thanks to the care bestowed to it by Aftran and the other Yeerks before her. Yet, her Hork-Bajir host was massive, at least three times the height of the Gedd. Or, so it seemed. Strong, too. It could stand upright. The eyes-oh, the eyes! Aftran thought that sight was a wonder when she had first been inside the disabled Gedd for training, but this was another thing entirely. The colors! The clear figures that danced in front of her. She could spend hours just looking at the pool in front of her, marveling at the different colors before her. Yet, when she managed to break her eyes away from the water, she saw clearly the host bodies of Hork-Bajir who had, in her Gedd form, looked only like large formidable beings. She glanced at her own body and saw that it was covered with blades. Blades! How very useful for fighting the vile Andalites-which was, of course, to be her new role in the war. No longer would she simply carry weapons or clean up after the battles. She would be a part of the battle. It made her dizzy with anticipation.

The one problem, the one thing that worried her in her new role, was her host's mind. Her Gedd, of course, had been compliant, even though she had certainly felt his presence in his mind. She'd known that some, more aggressive, Yeerks made it a habit to break the mind of their Gedd. To show that they could do so, to prepare for the more troublesome hosts. Breaking Gedds was not exactly encouraged, as they were still practically voluntary hosts, but being "caught" doing so would result in, at best, a warning. Moreover, there was an unconfirmed rumor that breaking a Gedd mind was a sure path to promotion. Even so, Aftran had never attempted to do so. She had never even replayed any unpleasant memories from her now former host-of which, she knew, there had been several. The most painful being the lost of his spouse's firstborn child. When she first saw that memory, she felt the Gedd's pain, and immediately closed it up. The Gedd had felt relief, even gratitude, at not needing to relive that.

So, no, Aftran hadn't broken or disciplined her Gedd host. She told herself it was not because she was overly gentle, but because there had been no need. Why waste the mental effort on something when there was no real cause?

Now, though, Aftran experienced her first-but hardly last-host who resisted her control. Het Falmot. She felt it in his screams as soon as she took over his body. The odd thing, she noted as she searched his memories, was that this creature was not a first time host. His first Yeerk-Tardel Eight-Seven-Six-had simply ignored him, and his fights for control. She could see, through reading into Het's memories, that Tardel saw his outbursts as a mere nuisance. He verbally reprimanded Het when he fought for control-always losing-but did nothing beyond that.

And so, Het had fought Aftran for control, daily. Not that he ever succeeded in grabbing control from her, but it was still a nuisance. She knew that she needed to discipline her host, so after the third time he tried to grab control (and, it must be said, very nearly succeeded, as her thoughts had been occupied by the ongoing battle), she immediately responded by replaying his worst memory-his initial infestation and the fear of being taken over by a Yeerk-but this only resulted in howls of agony, and the Hork-Bajir did not understand cause and effect. That if he would simply be silent and not fight Aftran for control, she would not need to replay his worse memory afterwards.

After a week of this, and an unending headache from her host's yowling, she spoke to her immediate superior. Sub-Visser Seventy-Five.

"Sub-Visser, my host body will not stop fighting me for control, and he will not stop screaming at me in his head," she complained, once the necessary pleasantries were out of the way.

She did not add that she feared that this would make her unable to do her job, because that would show weakness, and besides, her host would hear it. He might get the wrong idea-that he was succeeding, if not in the way he had expected.

"You must punish him if he resists you, Aftran Nine-Four-Two," the sub-visser replied in a bored manner. Gesturing to her host body, she said, "Mine fought in the beginning, at well. He is perfectly silent now. A Shalkat. If necessary, you must break him."

"How do I break him? I already play his worst memory whenever he attempts to take control. He is too stupid to understand why I do it," Aftran explained.

"You must not stop after playing it after the first time," the sub-visser explained, as though speaking to a child. "These creatures are stupid, and cannot be taught to obey. You must break your host if you wish to have any peace in your borrowed head."

He laughed, then, as though he thought he had made a very funny joke.

Aftran's insides seized a little at this. Killing Andalites in battle was one thing, but breaking her own host? But she would not be accused of host sympathy and be sentenced to death by Kandrona starvation.

"How long should I replay his worst memory?" she asked her sub-visser.

"Start with an hour. It may get tedious for you, and he will not break overnight. Additionally, Aftran Nine-Four-Two, do not simply replay his worst memory. Play all of his bad ones. This helps with the monotony, and lets him see-in his own limited way-the power you have over his mind as well as his body. Your host can fight you for control, but he can not fight you from using his mind as you wish. He can only scream. And that will stop over time." He smiled, rather cruelly. "Give it time, and he will become silent."

Aftran thanked the sub-visser for his advice, and took it to heart. Because, she told herself, she had no other choice.

It only took two weeks for her host to go silent. Well, not entirely silent. Whenever she opened his memory after that, to locate some piece of information, she heard Het whimper. It appeared that he now associated any use of his memory by Aftran as an assault on him. He had given up entirely. He was, as the sub-visser had called it, a Shalkat. A host who knew his place.

It had been what Aftran had wanted. Or, so she thought. A quiet, compliant host body. Just like her old Gedd. But while the Gedd had simply been obedient in his mind, Het had been broken.

She had done that.

As soon as she could, Aftran volunteered for an assignment outside of his body.

Which led her, of course, to Karen.