Day 59 / A Hero
"Welcome back, Garret. You're not dead yet."
As he heard those words, a flood of sensations came crashing down on him. Residual fragments of thoughts and emotions from his incubus half rushed through his head, and throbbing bruises or fractures from 'his' fight with Brynhild emanated from, well… everywhere. He lay there, dazed for a moment, before ignoring the hand and rolling onto his stomach. When he tried to push himself up, though, his muscles didn't respond. As increasing amounts of pain and discomfort throbbed from his injuries, he became aware of a concerning feeling enveloping his body – one of intense fatigue. His legs felt like he had just run twenty leagues, and his arms were in similar condition. He tried to push again, and managed to lift himself slightly, but his muscles froze when he was no more than an inch off the ground. He grunted and sweat started to form on his brow, but he couldn't go any further. His arms shook, then gave out and he collapsed back to the earth, panting.
"Why… Am I…"
"Easy there, soldier, we'll help you."
"Why can't I move?"
Two pairs of arms grabbed him from behind and gently turned him over, then lifted him to his feet. When he tried to stand on his own, his legs, like his arms, gave out and he began to crumple. He would have ended up right back on the ground if Brynhild hadn't crouched down to catch him. She lifted him up, threw one of his arms over Lukas' waiting shoulder, then ducked under his other. Like this, the three of them began to walk.
"Do you remember what you did?"
It was Brynhild that asked him this question.
"No, but… I saw it."
"Then you know how much you exerted yourself. The demonic energy was what fueled all of that. Now that it's gone, your body has to recover on its own. … And you're wounded."
"Bryn also had to remake the parts of you that were too corrupted. That'll take time to recover from, so for now, we'll take you to a medical cot. You can rest there for today. Hopefully you'll be able to walk by tomorrow."
"I see…"
Rebuilding parts of his body from nothing… Garret had no idea how one would even begin to formulate a spell for that. Most of their healing magic was, at least in principle, based on the idea of accelerating the body's natural regenerative abilities. It might be able to reattach an arm, but if that arm was lost, they couldn't grow a new one. That hadn't stopped the Valkyrie or the Hero, though… The Chief Goddess was right. This really was nothing less than a miracle. Thinking back to that caused him to remember the insane amount of divine energy that have been needed to give him this second chance, and he hung his head. He still felt like he didn't deserve this.
"Thank you, Sir. Ma'am. I'm… really grateful. Bringing me back couldn't have been easy."
"No, but it doesn't matter. Saving a life outweighs that cost, doubly so for a heroic person like yourself."
"I'm not a-" He caught himself, remembering the Chief God's words. "I suppose… I just hope I'm worth it."
Beside him, Brynhild laughed ominously.
"You'll be worth it. You're much more than just a war hero, Garret, you being saved is a statement all its own. Through reviving you, God has shown our soldiers that she stands behind the brave and devoted, no matter their fate. You're not just a mere soldier anymore. At least for now, you are a symbol."
"In a few days, once you've recovered, we're going to hold a celebration, and you are going to speak at it. The people you saved want to know their rescuer, and those who lost friends need hope. You'll provide that to them, understood?"
Hearing Lukas' order almost made Garret's legs give out again. He was barely comfortable around Eric and Aisha, how was he supposed to speak in front of thousands of soldiers?!
"What?! No, I-…" He took a deep breath and a moment to compose himself. "Sir, I'm sorry, but I can't speak in public. I-I stutter, I trip over my words, I forget things. I'll just embarrass myself and The Order."
No one responded to that, and Lukas looked like he was both annoyed and disappointed by this. As they walked, though, his expression became more thoughtful, and after what felt like ages, he eventually spoke up again.
"That might actually be for the better. What do you think, Bryn?"
"No one under heaven is perfect. He'd remind the soldiers that anyone can be a hero, and that he's an ordinary human just like them."
"My thoughts exactly."
"Wait, but what am I supposed to say!?"
"You've got at least two days to think about that."
Lukas was more helpful in his suggestion.
"Tell them what you did and what you saw. Maybe thank them for their service to the cause and apologize to those 'you' hurt? Definitely mention how the Chief God saved you. Aside from those points, I don't think it matters so long as it's genuine."
It didn't sound like they were going to take 'no' for an answer…
"Can I at least have a priest or someone draft something for me? I really don't think I'll be ab-"
"No."
Lukas pinched the bridge of his nose and looked down, then continued.
"This is technically propaganda to boost morale, but if nothing else, it will be genuine. I'm not going to let you go up there and speak a bunch of honeyed words that someone else told you to say. I want you to motivate the men, not lie to them. That's just not how I run things."
Hearing this, Garret sighed.
"Alright… Yes, sir, I'll do my best."
Lukas nodded in approval.
"Good. I expect nothing less."
Trapped on the mountain as they were, The Order had no place to properly set up camp, so the medical area was just a collection of cots and bedrolls laid out wherever they would fit. Sandwiched between rocks and squeezed into the sides of mountain paths, it wasn't exactly comfortable, but for lack of other options, they made do. Lukas was kind enough to guide him to one of the better cots, shielded from the sun by a large boulder, though as the leader of the crusade, he couldn't stick around. He left as soon as Garret had made himself comfortable, but Brynhild remained at his side. Once Lukas had left, she drew herself up to her full height and crossed her arms, looking Garret straight in the eye, almost judgingly. Was she angry with him? Suddenly the air pulsed and a dimly shimmering bubble of force expanded from her, growing until it enveloped both of them. When the forcefield passed his ears, the world around him fell silent. Well, silent except for the sound of his breathing and movements on the cot.
"You're surprisingly determined for a doubter."
Her sharp and sudden comment caught Garret off guard.
"Excuse me?"
"A doubter. You don't believe the idea that our crusade is glorious, you don't believe that every death has meaning, and you're having trouble justifying killing monsters if they look harmless."
Though she spoke the truth, when it was put it that bluntly, Garret wanted nothing more than to object, say she was wrong, and claim he was better than that. He was about to protest when she raised her finger to silence him.
"Don't lie to a Valkyrie, Mr. Fax. I can't read your thoughts like our God can, but I can sense their colour."
With his defense shattered before he even uttered a word, Garret deflated and could only muster a simple "Yeah..." as his response.
"What keeps you going?"
"Ma'am?"
"When I saw you at the cathedral, all those days ago, I thought you would be one of the first to fall. Soldiers who don't believe in our cause rarely last long. … But you… you've not only survived, you've become a hero to the crusade. What's driving you?"
Personal philosophy aside, shouldn't she already know that? The Order assigned people partners for a reason.
"My… My partner, Annika. We love each other, and I don't want to see her hurt. She, uh…" He waved his hand, unable to find the words he wanted. "You know what I mean…"
"Yes, I expected that much." Brynhild cocked her head to one side, then continued her interrogation.
"So that's it? If Miss Nyman were killed, the hero would run off, and if she were changed, he'd desert to join her?"
Garret shook his head and answered with an emphatic 'No', but that brought forth even more questions.
"So, what else is there?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes. If our symbol of hope runs off because of something, that'll be devastating to morale. Much more so than if you just died. Since you don't agree with crusader philosophy, I need to know what's keeping you here."
"I see…"
"Take your time. If you want a minute to think it over, that's fine, but I need to know what you truly believe."
He nodded and began trying to formulate his thoughts into something he could coherently describe. It was difficult, though, when a large part of his motivation came from people who were… no longer with them. He wanted to steer clear of those thoughts lest they pull his mood even further down from its current melancholy.
"I hope you don't have anywhere to be, ma'am. This might take a while."
In response, the Valkyrie took a seat at the end of his cot and made herself comfortable. It seemed he wasn't going to get out of this.
Garret was not an eloquent speaker. Though he could argue just fine with Annika, having a stranger – no, not just a stranger, a Valkyrie, a representative of the Chief God, an officer second in command of the crusade – in front of him caused him to constantly doubt what he was about to say. Words stuck in his throat and often-times he stopped mid-sentence, worried that what he was about to say would offend or, more importantly, harm her opinion of him. With a bit of prompting and Brynhild occasionally forcing him to finish his thoughts, though, he eventually loosened up and a productive discussion began to emerge.
Not wanting to mention the horrors of war and his hope of bringing an end to it, Garret confined himself to a much more detached, almost clinical analysis of why he thought monsters were evil. If Brynhild was in contact with the Chief God, she would have already heard about his hopes anyway. Instead, he mostly spoke about the idea of free-will and, more importantly, freedom of thought and how the monsters destroyed that. It was one thing, he said, for a man or woman to side with them of their own volition, but if you hated them and everything they stood for, they would force you to start to think in their way via demonic corruption when they caught you. Additionally, they would change your beliefs and desires so much that you would fight to defend that new life willingly. The fact that there was no- … usually no way of coming back from the corruption just made it worse. Then there was the image of one's self and the feeling of belonging in one's body, or of being a foreigner in it. This one, Garret had a terrible time articulating, but with a bit of discussion with Brynhild, she eventually understood. Men were lucky that their transformations were fairly superficial, but women had their entire body warped. He took legs as an example. He'd had them since he was born, walked on them, worked with them, and was intimately familiar with how they felt and functioned. How would it feel to have them suddenly torn away? It wasn't uncommon to hear stories of veterans who had lost limbs growing bitter about it, but what if that limb had not only been lost, but replaced with something monstrous? Something that no only reminded you every day of what you had lost, but forced you to accept a new life, having something that should not be there attached where something that should have been now was not? In the case of a lamia, the woman would have to re-learn how to walk, er,… slither, and the whole thing seemed extremely degrading and humiliating. If not for the brainwashing suppressing feelings like these, Garret doubted anyone would have been happy with the results. He certainly wouldn't.
Once he had gotten talking, Brynhild mostly listened, occasionally asking questions for clarification, or inquiring about his thoughts on a particular, unique situation that he might not have considered. At the end, she sat there quietly for a moment, thinking over and evaluating his reasoning, before asking one final question.
"It seems this is mostly about control, over your actions and body. What if you'd never had that in the first place? Would you still want to keep fighting?"
Garret's utterly perplexed expression got her to elaborate.
"The Chief Goddess is omniscient, so maybe she can see the future. Maybe that means your actions are preordained, since she knows what you're going to do before you choose to do it. Would you be ok with that and still support her? And consider the prophesied heroes. If they're destined to do something, they don't have complete free will. With a genuine prophecy, no matter what they do, something will push them towards its inevitable conclusion."
Garret had to think about that one… That hadn't crossed his mind.
"I, uh…" Damn, how could he really answer that? He hated the idea of having fate laid out before him, but… "Is that really how the world works? The future is set in stone?"
"No Comment." To stave off more questions, Brynhild raised a finger and continued. "Valkyrie on earth do not discuss the natures of heaven and the cosmos. These ideas came from one of your human philosophers, and I'm using it to demonstrate a point. Its accuracy is not something I will discuss."
He should have asked the Chief God about that while he was still in heaven…
"I see… Well, if the future is set, then there's nothing I can do. Though I don't like it, there's no use worrying. I'll keep doing what I do, regardless."
The problem of destiny was a harder nut to crack.
"As for prophecies, I uh… I don't know… I don't like the idea of anyone being forced into anything, but our Goddess has only done good things for humanity, so… I think I can live with it. Besides, once the war is over and we've killed the demon lord, there'll be no need for prophecies or heroes, right? It's a temporary sacrifice to win."
A very, very dark look flashed across Brynhild's face, but disappeared so quickly, Garret briefly wondered if he had seen anything at all. She nodded with her typical stern look, giving her approval to his answer, before standing up.
"Then you'll be fine. That's not the unusual philosophy I'd expect a soldier to have, but it should be ok for now."
Business dealt with, her expression softened, and she gave a slight smile, then touched Garret on the arm.
"You did well in the mountain. The crusade is blessed to have you."
After he thanked her, she wished him a speedy recovery and began to leave. Before she could make more than two steps, though, Garret was reminded of something and interrupted her departure.
"Sorry, uh, ma'am. Before you go, may I ask a favour?"
"You may."
"When I rescued those soldiers, there was a man named Nathan White. He didn't make it out, but he died shouting for someone named 'Sarah'. Do you know who that is? If she's still alive, I'd like to tell her."
Brynhild looked thoughtful, then shook her head.
"I don't know either of them, but I'll ask the officers for you."
"Thank you."
She nodded, then bid him farewell for a second time and stepped out of the bubble of silence, letting it slowly dissipate on its own. Garret shuffled back and forth on the cot, trying to get comfortable and settle in for a nap. Either Brynhild or Lukas would have told Annika about his 'safe' return, and he expected she'd arrive soon. In preparation for that encounter, he wanted to get at least a little rest.
The reunion with his partner was a tearful one. Annika, obviously, had been worried sick when he was dragged away and didn't return, and he… seeing her again after being convinced he would die in that mountain (and actually doing so), brought forth a surge of emotion, leaving him on the brink of tears as well. As the two hugged each other tightly, he contemplated their good fortune. How many times had this been, now? Two? Three? No, they'd almost lost each other four separate times, marking them as one of the luckiest (or unluckiest) sets of partners in The Order. They should be getting used to this by now, he dryly remarked. Humor aside, it was true that they had been through this before, and all had already been said and done. Instead of reassuring each other like they might have earlier, they just clung together tightly, allowing their actions to convey more than words ever could.
Eventually, though, they had to talk. Annika plied him with all sorts of questions about what happened in the mountain, and Garret answered them to the best of his abilities. Hearing about his encounters with Ilona were obviously not particularly pleasant for her, but if she was jealous, she didn't show it. Maybe it was because her 'competition' was already dead. Not for the first time, Garret was thankful her rational demeanor.
"Hearin' that hurts, but I can't blame you for what they did... It's all over now, though, right? You aren't gonna leave me for some cute monster girl, are ya?"
She cracked a grin during the last part, fully knowing how he'd answer, much to Garret's relief. It was good that she wasn't too upset.
"Of course not. I love you, Annika. So long as I have you, I can fight forever."
She squeezed his hand affectionately.
"Glad to hear it, Garret."
Their conversation was suddenly cut short by a brilliant flash of light, and, seconds later, a windstorm that pelted them with dust, dirt, and small rocks. Despite being partially shielded by a boulder, they still had to turn away from the blast and cover their faces.
Bedridden, Garret could only utter a shocked "What was that?!", leaving Annika to dust herself off and peer around the boulder, seeking the source of the light. When she spotted it, she froze, utterly shocked by what she saw.
"Garret… Come look."
Stunned as she was, it took a moment for her to remember his situation, but when she did, she rushed back and helped him to his feet, supporting him as the two walked into the open. When he saw what had happened, his jaw likewise dropped. The mountain with the arachne colony had been cleaved in two. Some white wisps of magic gently spiraled from the chasm into the air, and the ground around the mountain was littered with debris from the explosion. The walls on the sides of the split stood strong for a minute, but trembled and gradually began to collapse with great rockslides, burying anything that had survived the initial cataclysm.
"What the hell… How did that happen?"
"Lukas said we were gonna to destroy the mountain, but… I thought he was exaggerating."
Sure enough, as the dust clouds settled, he spotted two shining figures flying above the destruction – one with wings, and one without.
"So this is the true power of a hero…"
Lukas could bring back the dead, and now he'd just leveled a mountain with the help of Brynhild… Suddenly all those impossible stories Garret had heard about their heroes didn't seems so unlikely. If they had this power on their side, how could they possibly lose?
With the threat eliminated, The Order slowly made its way down from the mountain and into the valley to set up camp. Most of the soldiers had barely gotten a proper night's rest, since they were unable to pitch tents for everyone and needed to maintain hyper-vigilance during the night – attacks could come at any time, and on that mountain, from anywhere. The valley, though, allowed them to set up a proper perimeter and organize a usable camp, so the order was given to spend a day there to rest. Being wounded, Annika wasn't on guard duty, so she had time to erect their tent. Unfortunately, Garret being unable to stand meant she had to do it all by herself – a sacrifice he was sure to thank her for when she helped him limp to his bedroll.
Once he had gotten comfortable, the two made small-talk and chatted for a big longer, until Annika was called away to perform some other duty, leaving Garret alone with his thoughts. Though he tried to relax, anxiety about his upcoming 'performance' kept surfacing, making that nearly impossible… What was he supposed to say?! An introduction would be a good start, telling them who he was, what he did and where he came from, but after that… Fuck. He had Lukas' words to guide him, but on their own, they gave him, maybe, three sentences. He racked his brain, trying to think of ways to stitch ideas together into a somewhat coherent speech, but stress and fatigue were making it difficult to think. Even with his prior nap, he was still exhausted. He shook his head and closed his eyes, trying to relax again. Aisha. She was a spellsinger, she'd probably be able to help him. After dinner, he'd ask her and Eric for help, so for now, he needed to get some rest – make sure he would actually have enough energy to pay attention. Finding a possible way forward released at least a little tension, allowing him to settle down and, eventually, fall into a fitful sleep.
Garret stood behind a stone pulpit, slowly giving his speech to the crowd that filled the cave. Though he managed to say a few nice words, he couldn't stop himself from making numerous mistakes, sometimes with disastrous consequences for his audience's attitude towards him. At some point, the booing started, and when it reached its crescendo, the arachnae and other monsters began throwing their spears like one would rotten fruit. He hung his head, mortified, and tried to finish mumbling his speech, as the spears bounced harmlessly off him, but a rod tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned to look, he saw Brynhild shaking her head, then gesturing with a leg from her spider-half that he should leave the stage. Nearly in tears, he took her advice and stepped down, before running into a side tunnel, allowing a different arachnae to take his place and begin their own speech. When he stopped and collapsed against a wall, he heard the sound of chitin-on-stone behind him.
"Garret!"
It was Ilona. Seeing him breaking down after his failed attempt at a speech, she grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around, forcefully pulling him into a tight hug.
"Garret, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have put you up to that, I…"
Her voice trailed off as he sobbed into her chest. She held him tight and tried to be there for him, like he had been for her when he rescued her from her mistress.
"Wh-What did I do wrong? What could I have said?"
Now it was Garret's turn to be fragile and hers to be strong. She cooed reassuring words into his ear, well, as best as she knew how, and made promises that they could sneak away somewhere quiet once all this was over. Eventually she just settled into a rhythm of repeating "Its going to be ok, Garret. I love you." over and over, as he gradually calmed down and composed himself. When he finally felt like he could speak without sobbing, he managed a reply.
"Thank you… I… I love you, Ilona."
Immediately, her voice turned icy.
"No you don't, Garret. If you did, you wouldn't have killed me."
"What?!"
He looked up and, for the first time, realized that half of her face had been blown off and burnt to the bone. The scaring ran down her neck and shoulder, to the side of her breast and along her arm, giving the girl a horrifyingly mutilated appearance. The burnt face smiled wickedly, and she forcibly pulled him up off the ground for a kiss, staring into his eyes.
"Why, Garret?"
Garret awoke from the nightmare with a start. He shuddered as a wave of conflicting emotions crashed over him, then curled into a ball under the covers, wiping the tears from his eyes as he did.
"Sh-Shut up, Ilona!"
He clenched a fist and punched himself in the leg, looking for something, anything, to get these feelings out of his head.
"Shut up! Stop it. Don't ask me why."
He quietly sobbed into his pillow, trying to avoid others hearing him while he struggled to bring his emotions back under control.
"You're a monster! It had to be done. I have Annika. You were in my way! You forced me!"
A voice in the back of his head mocked him for the excuses he was giving. Was that some remnant of their bond that had formed during the escape, or just a fragment of his guilty conscience? Either way, it was deeply unwelcome.
"Stop it! Leave me alone! I-I-I'm sorry! I didn't WANT to kill you! If you weren't a monster, if I didn't have Annika, if we weren't at war, maybe it wouldn't have ended like this,… it was the only way!"
The worst part about these feelings was that in his heart, he got the impression that Ilona had actually been a good person. She didn't try to torture him like the other arachnae would have, she didn't try to force herself on him, and she seemed genuinely concerned about his wellbeing. Knowing her painful history made him feel even worse about what he had done to the girl, necessary or not. He shook his head as another shudder ran through him and tears threatened to reappear. These feelings weren't going away. He needed to go for a walk or something, to get his mind off things. Unfortunately, he still didn't have the strength to do that and, when he tried to force it anyway, just ended up in a crumpled heap on the floor with barely enough energy to pull himself back into the cot. Stuck here with his thoughts, he curled back up and wiped away a fresh set of tears.
"F-Fuck…"
By the time Annika returned a few hours later, the worst of his feelings had subsided. While his mood was still extremely depressed, at least he wasn't openly sobbing. The food she brought (for it wasn't like he could make it to the mess tents) helped, though, and he sat up to slowly work away at a bowl of stew.
"Are ya ok, Garret?"
He barely looked up from his food.
"No, I-" He sighed. "Just had a nightmare. I'll be fine."
Much like their tearful reunions, Garret was all-too-aware that they'd had this exchange numerous times before – something Annika called him on.
"You've been sayin' that a lot, Garret. If it were true, ya wouldn't be like this. Do you want to talk about it?"
Talk about what? 'Sorry, Annika, I'm just pining over the woman I cheated with and wish I hadn't had to kill her.'? Yeah, that'd go over real well… He took another bite of food and focused on the bowl. After a minute, Annika let out her own exasperated sigh.
"Garret, I'm trying to help. Can you at least say something?"
He finished slurping down the last of his food, then tossed aside the empty bowl.
"There's nothing to talk about, Annika, it's the same as before… I'm just frustrated. Killing monsters on the battlefield is fine, but when you're sneaking around, they look, and act, almost human… You're lucky. At least for you, an adult monster is always your enemy."
When he referenced the transformative relationship between monsters and women, Annika shrugged.
"I don't like killing the ones who run, but… yeah… Garret, if this is too mu-"
"No!"
He knew what was coming and immediately cut her off.
"No… I'm doing the right thing; this has to be done. …It just doesn't feel like it sometimes."
He quietly stared at the ground for a moment, before coming to his conclusion.
"I'll be fine. I've made it this far; I can keep going, just…"
Unable to stand on his own, Garret was forced to open his arms and voice his request.
"Can I hug you, Annika?"
His partner smiled when he asked that.
"Of course you can."
After dinner, Garret's mood was lifted when someone rapped on their tent pole and two familiar faces poked their heads through the flap.
"Heeey, Garret! How're you feeling? Oh, and hi, Annika."
"Good Evening.~"
Eric and Aisha plopped themselves down on the feet of the bedrolls and made themselves comfortable.
"Annika told us you were one of the captured. We were quite worried until we heard about the escape."
"Yeah, not cool, man. After all the effort I spent teaching you to fence, you can't disappear until you put it to use at least once!"
Eric chuckled at his own teasing, and his friend's concern brought a smile to Garret's face. At least he had them.
"Heh, I'm fine, just tired. Purification took a lot of energy out of me… but hey, I'm not sure I should be trying that, Eric. Your teaching curriculum seems quite lacking."
"Oh, how so?"
"Well you left out the parts about dealing with spear wielding monsters twice as tall and thrice as strong as a man!"
More chucking came as the teasing was reversed, and Eric put a hand on his chin, mockingly pretending to be deep in thought.
"Hmm, well then I'll correct that right now. Sword on spear, with no shield and a strength and reach disadvantage? The technique you use for that is to run like a little bitch!"
Oh, he already knew that one!
"Ah, well don't worry, then. I've been using that a lot, lately."
"Hmmm… Well I guess you're off the hook for now. Seriously, though, I'm sorry we couldn't do anything. The officers said they weren't going to send anyone in to rescue people, and I don't think we'd have made it on our own."
Garret gave a slight smile and waved away his concern. With a nest of that size, it made sense they'd be wary of sending in more troops.
"There was nothing you could have done. Don't worry, its fine."
"How about you, Annika? How are your wounds feeling?"
"Aaah, they're fine, Aisha. A priest healed the worst of it, I should be back and at 'em in a day or two."
"Coincidentally the same time it'll take me to recover. It's almost like you planned this."
He poked her in the shoulder, and she cast him a sideways glance with a slight grin.
"Garret, I love you, but not enough to take a mace to the head."
Remembering how she had taken a greater succubus' dive-bombing for him; Garret could only snort. She'd accepted much worse than that before.
"Of course not."
"So how are things for you two? Ya see anything interesting on patrol?"
Eric shook his head.
"No, but… Our hero's attack… whew… the shockwave nearly knocked me over. I can't believe he's got that much power."
"I think there will be more than one new songs written about him."
The group chatted about the state of the crusade, the majesty of their Valkyrie and the strength of their hero for easily a handful of hours, but eventually, the unpleasant feeling of 'I should be working…' began to creep up on Garret. Before everyone got too tired, he needed to ask a certain spellsinger for help.
"Aisha, do you know anything about speechwriting?"
"Of course! In the bard's college, we gained the knowledge, to write in any style, with all of our guile!"
The return of her rhymes indicated a cheerful mood, but worried Garret none-the-less. There was no way he was going to be able to speak in limerick form.
"I need to write one. Mr. Strom said we'd be having a celebration in a few days and wanted me to speak at it."
Annika already knew the reason for this, but hearing that their hero had singled Garret out intrigued Eric and Aisha. Almost immediately, they began to ply him with questions. Did something happen? Was he representing the magic college or some sorcerer's organization? Was this about the escape miracle that happened this morning? At this last inquiry, he pointed at Eric gesturing that he was correct.
"That's the one."
"Ah, makes sense… So what's the topic, then? Are you thanking your mysterious rescuer?"
"You know, Eric, the rumor has it a mage broke everyone out. Maybe you're talking to him right now.~"
Aisha playfully elbowed him in the side and in return got her hair ruffled.
"This sorry excuse of a sorcerer? Naaaaah, there's just no way! He'd have passed out after the opening volley."
Eric winked then apologized.
"I'm just teasing, Garret."
He just smiled and nodded, taking the jest in stride, then replying with a dead serious tone.
"Of course. … But that was what happened, I rescued a few dozen soldiers and have to give a speech about it."
Eric smirked, expecting that to be a joke, but his expression slowly changed to a more incredulous one as Garret insisted. When Annika backed him up, he finally accepted his recounting of the events, clearly taken aback.
"Shit, you're serious… Well, uh… Fuck, man, good job. That's actually really,… really impressive."
Garret shrugged and thanked him for his praise. Almost immediately, though, he was bombarded by questions from Aisha who sensed a potential new story. How did he get out, what happened in there, what were the monsters like, how were their caves made, and how did he keep everyone safe? Garret tried to answer her flurry of questions as quickly as he could, but with every answer, three more queries were returned, resulting in an almost unending flood of babbling. At some point, she retrieved a journal and charcoal stick to take notes, making Garret worry about the prospects of getting any help at all with his speech tonight. Unpleasantly, those worries turned out to be well-founded.
Day 61
For the next two days, the crusade was back to fighting. His spirits having been lifted from the visit with his friends, Garret only had a couple mild nightmares those evenings, and managed to get a decent amount of rest. That left him strong enough to help pack up their camp in the mornings and march with the soldiers in at the back of the column, though he still didn't have the energy to carry his gear. That had to get loaded onto one of the wagons carrying the other wounded through the less-treacherous valley paths. Fortunately for him and The Order, the terrain they would cover from here on out was easier than before, making for much more pleasant marching and allowing for an additional two hundred soldiers to reinforce the new vanguard that blazed their trail. With almost thrice the number of soldiers, and less narrow paths to fight on, ambushes like the arachnae's would hopefully be repulsed before too much damage could be done.
By the end of the first day, Garret was too exhausted to do much of anything, and only barely managed to help set up their tent before passing out on a bedroll. The second day went much better, though. More rest and increasingly easy terrain meant he was not nearly as fatigued, so he could focus on writing his speech… or at least trying to write it. Fortunately, that night, Aisha showed up with the intention to help, not just interrogate him.
"Good Evening, Garret~. Hello, Annika~"
With a sung greeting and rap on the tent pole, she let herself in and plopped down beside Garret.
"Thank you soooo much for letting me interview you, Garret. It gave me much to write about. You might even hear a new song or two next time we get marching.~"
"I don't think 'interview' is the correct word for what that was…"
"Do ya write a lot, Aisha? I thought spellsingers only performed songs."
The girl nodded happily, the feather in her cap bobbing as she did.
"Yes! Sometimes its for performance, a few 'singers recite dramatic epics instead of songs for their magic, but I do it for the fun. And posterity. Someone needs to catalogue the trials and triumphs of The Order's soldiers, so it falls to us to record them. What about you two? Do either of you enjoy writing?"
They both shook their heads. Garret's excuse was not particularly enjoying academic pursuits, and Annika's, that she spent far more time staring at a blank page trying to figure out what to write than actually doing the writing itself. Aisha looked disappointed when she heard this.
"But there's so much joy to be found in penning works! You've got your characters to balance, plots to organize, flowery language to describe scenes,… when everything fits together nicely and you get present it and see your audience enraptured with your tale... Aaahhh, it's such a nice feeling."
She clutched her journal to her chest and giggled happily.
"Right, well, I suppose that's why you wanted my help."
Garret nodded and defeatedly sighed.
"I don't even know where to begin…"
She clasped her hands, grinning widely.
"Then we shall all work on it together!"
Day 63
The crusade continued to cut its bloody path through the mountains, slaughtering every monster that lay in its way. Despite Lukas' words, there had been no sign of stopping for the promised celebration any time soon, though Garret had noticed many more scouts being sent out than usual. Maybe he was expecting something? That was worrisome, but at least it meant he had more time to work on his speech. A few more days of this, and maybe he'd have something almost workable.
Day 64
There was no real combat the next day. Any villages they found were empty, and only a handful of solitary monsters needed to be put down – something the couple soldiers could handle on their own. The terrain kept getting easier, and their ascents, less high and steep. It seemed like they would be coming to the end of the mountain range soon, a conclusion supported by a dim, purple glow on the horizon, and distant sight of vibrant forests and plains.
Day 66
Two days later, they finally broke free of the mountains. From their position atop a plateau on the side of the final hill, a verdant paradise stretched out beyond them, as far as the eye could see. If not for the unnaturally vibrant colours and slight purple miasma wafting through the air above the forests and fields, it would have looked like heaven on earth. Unfortunately, those signs indicated it was the exact opposite – an unrelenting spread of demonic corruption.
"Soldiers of The Order, hear my words now!"
Before they could march any further, Lukas called them to a halt and began to speak, his voice booming with supernatural strength to reach everyone in the column.
"We have reached the end of the human world and stand on the precipice of the demon realm! By coming this far, we have ensured the safety of Naton and her surroundings for years! Humans will reclaim the villages we purged and once again our nation will stretch across the land. What we have accomplished until now is worthy of praise, but we are not done yet. We will make camp here and begin preparations for the second stage of the crusade. We will plunge deep into the demon realm, shatter their armies, and scatter their people! We will reclaim that which has been corrupted and ensure the safety of our nation, not just for a handful of years, but for generations! Indeed, our success here may shift the tide of the entire war, allowing for following attacks to slay the demon lord and put an end to this conflict once and for all!"
Hearing that, a cheer rose up from the ranks of the soldiers. Lukas smiled and waited for them to quiet back down, before raising a finger and continuing.
"Three days. In three days, we will begin our attack in earnest. Two of these will be used for preparation, wards and blessings, but not tonight! Tonight, we celebrate our accomplishments and the miracles the Chief God has granted us! I thank each and every one of you for your service to The Order. May God bless you all!"
Another cheer roared fourth from the crusade as Lukas dismissed them, then turned into chaos as people began scrambling about to set up camp as quickly as possible. Rangers were dispatched to hunt additional game, cook tents were set up, and just outside the camp, Garret spotted a group of wizards pooling their energy to open a portal. Once it stabilized, a man stepped through and, when he returned, several barrels of beer and other supplies were pushed out of it, probably teleported from Naton. Immediately afterwards, the dozen-or-so wizards closed it and hunched over, exhausted from the energy expenditure. A portal like that was usually only used for emergencies, but it seemed like they had quite the feast planned and that somehow justified its use. Out of nowhere, Brynhild suddenly materialized before him.
"You'll be speaking tonight. Are you ready?"
Garret exhaled a long breath and half-shrugged.
"No… but I've got a script, I can at least say something."
She nodded, pleased.
"Yes, I saw your friends helping with that a day ago. That was smart. Friends helping friends is genuine, much different from drafted propaganda."
He shrugged again.
"Mmm… yeah, I just hope it's ok. … Is this still necessary? It's been a week, and everyone is in high spirits."
"Yes." Came the immediate reply.
"Your speech will help boost moral even higher and give closure to those you saved. Besides, Garret, you're a hero. You deserve some recognition for what you did."
"… I think I could live without that."
The Valkyrie crossed her arm, mildly annoyed.
"Well you don't have a choice in the matter. You'd best prepare yourself."
"… Yes, Ma'am. I'll do my best."
Satisfied, she nodded.
"Good. Thank you, Garret, I'll let you get back to work."
With that, she disappeared in a burst of energy, leaving him alone.
"Uuuuuugh… I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do thiiiiiis…"
"Come on, Garret, man up. You fight monsters every day, speaking should be nothing for you."
"Yeah, but I don't have to impress them, I just have to kill them! And I'm trained for that! I-I-I'm not trained for this!"
Pacing back and forth, as the night drew closer, Garret was on the verge of a panic attack. Speeches would happen before the feast began in earnest, and though Lukas and Brynhild were up first, he still was not at all happy about this. His partner and friends had gathered around, trying to calm him down, but only with limited effectiveness.
"Well then,… I don't know, imagine the audience is naked or something."
"But what if they're all hot?!"
That response garnered a few laughs, but Eric's suggestions were not especially helpful.
"I'll try to stand in the middle of the crowd. Just look at me and pretend there's no one else. 'sides, my opinion is the only one that matters!"
Annika's was a bit better, but not by much. It was nice that she cared, but that didn't help his nerves! Once again, Aisha came to the rescue.
"Would you like me to sing, Garret? I can work a song of bravery, just for you.~"
He immediately grabbed her by the shoulders, begging frantically.
"Yes! Please!"
"Then once it gets closer to the time, I will. For now, just try to calm down. You're going to be fine."
He took a deep breath and resumed his pacing. That was easier said than done.
"Yeah… Thanks, everyone…"
Later in the evening they cleared an area for the speeches, and a small rock outcropping was designated to be a makeshift pulpit. The sky was getting darker, and rangers began to return with their catches for the feast. Around the camp, watch fires had been lit, and torches illuminated the rows of tents and makeshift tables. As their duties were completed, soldiers began to slowly filter out of the camp towards the meeting place, gathering around the stone. Garret, himself, stood at the back of the crowd, flipping through the pages of notes Aisha had given to him, reviewing them, practicing, and trying not to panic. As the crowd's numbers continued to swell, with no sign of his friends, Garret began to worry he had been forgotten. Eventually, though, he spotted a tell-tale plume-feather bouncing towards him, heralding Aisha's arrival, and after few minutes, true to her word, she tugged at his sleeve.
"Are you ready, Garret?"
He shuddered.
"Ha… No."
"Aww, chin up. You'll do fine! Here, I'll sing for you, but first, drink this!"
She shoved a mug full of beer towards him, from which Garret gratefully took a few swigs. She must have filled it from the feast supplies, unnoticed. After he'd handed it back and nodded his thanks, she began a quiet, wordless melody, barely audible to anyone who wasn't within her immediate vicinity. As promised, Garret felt his anxiety begin to melt away, though that was likely in part thanks to the alcohol. She kept this up, even as Lukas and Brynhild arrived to begin their speech, only pausing whenever she needed to wet her throat. Eventually, though, the fated hour came, and he could no longer hide in the rear.
"… But before we begin our feast, the events from one week ago must be addressed. As most of you know, many of our number were rescued from the clutches of the arachnae. What you may not be aware of is that the rescue was performed by a single man. No, not a hero or priest, but one of your number – an ordinary soldier who, through sheer devotion and loyalty, fought off their charms and saved our people from destruction. Everyone, if you would please make a path, I present to you, Garret Fax. A heroic sorcerer of The Order."
A ray of light shone from Brynhild, illuminating Garret, and the soldiers between him and the 'pulpit' parted to let him walk. He made one last gesture of thanks towards Aisha then, one shaky step after another, slowly made his way forward and took his place atop the rock. Even with the combination of liquid and magical courage helping him, his unease still flared as he looked over the faces standing before him. What was he doing here? He couldn't do this! Somewhere in the center of the crowd, he spotted a familiar red-haired woman. Focusing on Annika, who flashed him a 'thumbs up', he took a deep breath, glanced down at his notes, and began what felt like the hardest challenge of his life.
As thunderous applause poured forth from the crowd, Garret bowed and stepped down from the rock, letting Lukas take his place and make a few final words. At some point, the magic had worn off and his speaking faltered. With a white-knuckled grip on his notes, and the inability to stop halfway through a sentence, though, he had managed to forge onward and delivered a halting and awkwardly worded, but complete speech.
"Excellent work, Garret."
Brynhild spoke from beside him as she personally escorted him back to his friends. He couldn't accept that praise though, especially knowing all the mistakes he'd made.
"That was terrible, Ma'am. Anyone could tell."
She cracked a knowing smile and, to his surprise, agreed.
"It wasn't great. But again, being 'good' was not the point, being genuine was. You succeeded fully in that measure and covered the points we wanted. I think congratulations are still in order."
He just looked at the ground and kept walking.
"Thank you, Ma'am. I guess."
"Garret!"
As they approached, Aisha shouted a greeting and rushed to meet him, with Annika and Eric in tow. Seeing this, Brynhild wished him a nice evening and took her leave.
"Wonderfully done. See, I told you you'd be fine!"
"Thanks again for your help, Aisha. I couldn't have done it without you, but come on, that was awful."
"Hmm…" She furrowed her brow, as if thinking, before answering in her typically cheerful voice. "Yes, but it was better than I expected, so that's alright!"
"Gee, thanks!"
He couldn't help but chuckle at that. The last thing he expected was a backhanded compliment coming from Aisha of all people.
"Well I liked it."
Annika clapped him on the shoulder.
"Ya did your best, that's all you can do, right?"
"Yeah, I suppose."
Eric echoed a similar sentiment, though he added that they should move quickly to secure a table before all were taken – something everyone agreed with. With that, the four of them hustled through the crowd to complete their mission.
"That's why I like you, Garret! You try things!"
"Everyone tries things, Annika."
Somehow the discussion had made its way onto the topic of 'love' and, much to his embarrassment, Annika was in the process of fawning over him. Maybe it was their recent brushes with death, or maybe it was just the alcohol, but it seemed like she was being clingier than usual.
"But not as much as you. Before I ended up with ya, I had to deal with so many men who just refused to do anything outside their comfort zone. Alex didn't like hiking, Rick refused to travel, and Mark hated hand-to-hand. Actually, just about every mage or archer hated wrestling. You're the only one who volunteered to train with me! And none of those guys would have even tried to do something like give a speech."
Well he didn't really have a choice, but still.
"I didn't realize you had so many other partners, Annika…"
"I was a soldier for two years before ya, dontchyaknow?"
"Yeah, but what happened to them?"
"Oh, they were all lost to unfortunate accidents, don't worry about it.~"
"… Um."
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Don't worry, I got to switch partners a lot in my first year. My sergeants didn't mind the extra paperwork so long as I eventually found someone who I liked."
She squeezed him affectionately.
"And that turned out to be you!"
He cracked a wry grin, then took another swig of his drink.
"Heh. Well I'm glad 'putting in an effort' was all it took to get you."
"Hey, I have standards! You had to be cute too."
Their celebration was interrupted when someone tapped Garret on his arm.
"Um… Excuse me?"
The source of the touch was a very shy looking young woman, who deliberately avoided making eye contact when he turned around. Standing beside her was an equally shy looking man.
"W-We… You saved us back in that mountain. T-Thank you so much!"
Their sudden appearance gave Garret pause and he struggled to figure out what to say. Eventually he settled on a simple 'you're welcome', and, now that they'd been purified, inquiring about their health. They apparently had ended up in a similar boat to Garret, needing a few days to recover, but were otherwise fine. With that, though, they descended into an awkward silence with neither of them knowing what to say. Eventually the woman and her partner excused themselves.
"… Fuck. Eric, want to switch places? I don't know how to deal with this."
The man's eyes sparkled as he shook his head.
"Nope! You're gonna be famous whether you like it or not."
He gulped down more alcohol, then leaned on the table with a serious expression on his face.
"Come on, Garret, at least try to enjoy it. You're one of the reasons we're celebrating. You should be happy to have people cheering what you did."
What he did? An arachne's face flashed through his memory. Ilona… The flashback was interrupted when someone shouted and an armoured soldier slapped him on the back.
"Fax!"
The man and his compatriots shoved a cluster of beer-filled mugs in front of him.
"You're my savior, man. I thought I was gone, but you pulled me out! Here, you can have our drinks. Consider this the thanks of the Stillbrook spearmen."
Don't think about that, Garret, Evan is right. You should be enjoying this, for their sake as much as yours. With no clue how to handle social situations on his own, though, he looked to his friend for inspiration. How would he act in a situation like this?
Forcing a grin, Garret grabbed two of the mugs, pressed one into the hand of the man he had rescued, then held his own up.
"I did what I could. Cheers!"
The man's face lit up at this gesture, and the two clinked their glasses, then chugged them in unison. When they slammed the empty mugs down, a cheer went up from both Garret's and the soldier's friends.
"You're a good man, Fax."
After a few more congratulatory words from him and his friends, the soldiers left, each patting him on the shoulder as they did. Eric was right. If he just accepted it, if he didn't think about what had happened, it felt… nice. Being well-liked was a wonderful feeling.
"That's the spirit. But, uh… Don't tell me you're going to try to drink all of those yourself."
Garret smile slightly, then passed a drink to each of his friends. He was not about to get black-out drunk while on a crusade.
"Of course not."
… Though certain resurfacing memories made that a tempting proposition.
That was how the night went. The group drank, made merry, and were constantly interrupted by soldiers, who had been, or had a friend that had been saved by Garret. Such attention meant that, at least for them, there was no shortage of food or alcohol that evening. On the other hand, the constant socialization left Garret completely drained. It didn't help that some of the visitors were… unorthodox in their greetings. In particular, one extremely muscular man and his posse confronted Garret, sizing him up and threatening that there would be hell to pay if he came close to the man's partner again. She had apparently been among the number that Garret rescued. Then he grabbed Garret by the collar and lifted him out of his chair, off the ground. That caused weapons to be drawn, and Annika to start shouting for the man to release him, but before he did, he pulled Garret close and whispered a gruff 'thanks' in his ear. As the men jeered and sauntered away, Garret was left bewildered at the variety of characters employed by The Order. Were they really so proud they couldn't say 'thanks' like a normal person? Or, even better, left him alone? He tried to focus on the whispered gratitude. At least it seemed like the man was trying to save face, rather than make a genuine threat.
When it came time to head back to their tents and rest for the evening, a certain Valkyrie stopped Garret and Annika half-way.
"Good evening. Did you two enjoy the feast?"
They nodded, Annika happily, but Garret, with a bit more caution. He doubted Brynhild was here just to socialize.
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Good. I won't keep you long, but Garret, I'd like to talk with you in private for a moment."
He cast a sideways glance at Annika, who nodded her approval.
"Uh, sure. I'll meet you at the tent, Annika."
After his partner had walked away, Brynhild got to the matter at hand.
"It seems the 'Sarah' you asked me about was Nathan White's late partner. She was killed nearly two months ago in an assault on a village."
Made sense… that lined up with what he had been told.
"I see… I wonder why he was calling for her, then."
"He was probably accepting his death and looking forward to reuniting with her. I'm told they were very close."
Wait, but Nathan had said they hated each other, and was perfectly comfortable making flippant remarks about her dying. The contrast in descriptions lead to him replying with a very confused "What?"
"I spoke with one of the sergeants from Northreach. Apparently the two were nearly inseparable and got along extremely well. I'm surprised he kept the will to fight after she was gone."
She sensed his confusion and paused.
"… Garret? Is something wrong?"
He shook his head and, despite her previous warnings, made the mistake of lying to a Valkyrie.
"No, nothing. Thank you."
Fortunately, she didn't seem to care. She stared at him for a moment, as if examining him, but eventually let the topic be.
"Very well. Have a nice evening, Mr. Fax."
"You as well, Ma'am."
She turned and strode away, disappearing into the darkness between tents, and leaving Garret alone with his thoughts. Nathan had died screaming his partner's name – a partner he claimed to hate, but supposedly was also on exceptionally good terms with. He thought back to his time in that village, remembering the man's extreme prejudice against the mamono and somewhat depressed demeanor when he was invited for drinks the following nights. Given the situation with his partner, he might have been dismissed from the crusade, or at least from active combat duty, if his superiors thought he was unsuitable. If he lied, though, anyone unfamiliar with his relationship probably wouldn't have given his claims a second thought, sending him right back into the action. As he wandered back to his tent, Garret tried to think of reasons why anyone would want this. The single conclusion he tumbled to put a damper on his spirits, contrasting starkly with the triumphant celebrations he just partook in.
"Nathan… Is that why you followed me back into the mountain? Were you just living for revenge this whole time?"
Author's Note: I'm alive. Yeah. Woo. *flop*
Once again, I apologize about the long wait, but hopefully this chapter's length makes up for that a bit. As for the reasons why, well, over the past few months, I've written an hour-long speech, several academic reports, and my own scientific paper, which I've submitted for review at an upcoming conference. All this stuff is great for my career, but needless to say, after doing weeks upon weeks of technical writing, the last thing I wanted to do in my free time was boot up 'Word'. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ You'd think the pandemic would mean I'd have more time for writing, but since computer scientists can work wherever they have wifi, if anything, I've been busier than ever. (Stay safe everyone, by the way. I will survive, but I can't have my followers and reviewers dying on me :P)
I'd love to say something like 'that's all over now, so I can return to a normal schedule', but no, the work never ends. While I'm setting aside Saturdays for writing, that means updates are still going to be super slow until sometime between September and Christmas. Sorry.
Ok! I'm done whining about my schedule, let's talk about this chapter.
I finally managed to wrap up Nathan's sub-plot. The impact on a person when they lose someone they're exceptionally close to is something I wanted to touch on in this story. I sort of did this with Catherine, but she wasn't a good enough friend with Garret yet to really push that idea. Sure, it turned out to be a paint-by-numbers revenge plot of 'my beloved was killed, so I'm going to take you all down with me!', but I didn't think that was too much of a problem since it's a side-story, and you rarely see this plot show up in MGE fiction. As with Ilona's tragic (and also basic) story of 'abused, pitiful person is rescued then betrayed', or the numerous other one/two chapter incidents, I'm trying to use these little sub-plots to create a sort of meta-narrative as to how the war is affecting Garret and those caught up in it. Of course, I'm also trying to use them to set up scenes I have planned for later. As to whether or not I'm doing a good job of that, well that's up to you! Please let me know what you think.
On the topic of heroes, with the way the MGE is written, power levels are all over the place. I've mentioned before that I boosted humans to be able to actually fight one-on-one with some monsters, but that means I have to go even further for divine heroes. They are the overpowered superhumans in this setting, and I think showing Lukas' ability to revive the dead and destroy entire mountains clearly demonstrates this. Of course, making the monsters have no answer to this creates its own problems, but aaaaaaahh that's something I'll deal with later~.
In my original draft of this chapter, Aisha played a much smaller role, as I had tried to focus on writing Brynhild's character and, to a lesser extent, Lukas'. I realized she hadn't been given much screen time, though, so I decided to expand her parts a bit. Garret may be the hero, but the supporting cast needs some time in the limelight as well. This is my first proper fic, so I'm still working on spreading the characterization around, but hopefully this makes up a little for her being neglected.
Uuuuuh… What else… I can talk about the double (triple?) meaning in the chapter name, about the intricacies of the magic system, or write more on how I'm making Garret feel SO SAD… Or I can just call it here, which I think I'm going to do. None of those are particularly interesting or useful, and this chapter is getting too long as it is (25 pages, fuuuuck). Thats thing about long chapters... they make editing a pain in the ass.
Alright! You know the drill, once again, thank you everyone for your support, reviews, messages, etc. I always love receiving them. Never thought I'd be closing on 50 follows when I started this… Originally, I had been hoping for '20'. Good luck everyone, don't die, and…
Until next time, Sayonara!