Chapter 5 – Opening-Up
They were on their favourite bench in the forest near Dufftown, enjoying the warm sun that fell through the leaves of the trees and the birds singing joyfully.
"Severus?" Hermione suddenly asked and decided to finally be bold enough to do so. They had been dating for over a month now, wasn't it time for a bit more?
"Yes?" He looked at her but when he saw her nervous expression, he quickly averted his eyes. She had something planned and he wasn't sure if he was ready. Their time together was wonderful but there were still moments where reality crashed down on them. He still had the waiter's words in his mind constantly and yes, Hermione could be his daughter… And she was his former student… He shook his head slightly to cast away these dark thoughts. He should be happy for every moment that she wanted to spend with him.
"I'd like to ask you something personal."
He nodded for her to continue.
"Who was your first kiss and when?"
He raised his eyebrows at her. This was a rather personal question but understandable under the circumstances. He sighed heavily when the sorrowful memory flashed before his inner eyes. "It was in my fourth year," he truthfully answered. "She was a Ravenclaw who had lost a bet and had to kiss me as a punishment."
Hermione gasped and took his hand. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could have been in school with you. I would have been your friend." And maybe even more, she continued in her mind.
He smiled sadly at her and squeezed her hand. It would have been wonderful to have someone like Hermione with him in his school years at Hogwarts. But maybe he would have made her leave like Lily. Though he nowadays couldn't even imagine calling anyone a Mudblood… "What about you?" he tried to shift the attention from him and his sad adolescence. "When and who was your first kiss?"
"Um", she stammered and blushed. "Victor Krum, after the Yule Ball in my fourth year."
He nodded when he remembered how she had danced with the Bulgarian Quidditch Seeker. What was it always about athletes that was so attractive for women? "Did you like it?"
"Not really", she laughed. "It was kind of wet and... I don't know, maybe I wasn't ready, or it was because I didn't love him."
"You didn't?"
"Not even a fan crush," she admitted. "Of course, I was happy that he had singled me out, me the bookworm, and he the star, but we were just too different."
He liked the way she spoke about her past because it showed her maturity. "Did you have any other encounters since then?"
"Not really," she said to his surprise. "There was shortly a fling with Ron, but I ended it almost as soon as it began. I guess, we were just happy to have survived the war. And you?"
"I've seen a few women over the years, but nothing felt right." Then he looked at her directly and stroked his thumb over her hand. "I hope this feels right?"
"It does," she replied, smiled, and then put her head on his shoulder.
Severus sighed contently and a smile fell over his lips.