CH 16: New Friend
Tony searched high and low for Vanko, who, for all intents and purposes, had vanished into thin air. The man knew how to hide from Jarvis's all seeing eye. With the threat of Vanko in the air, Tony felt a strong anxiety in his chest that only seemed to grow with every failed search.
Who stole a man's cat? That was just.. a no in the villain ring? Someone must have forgotten to give Vanko the newbie pamphlet. 'The Rules and Etiquette of the Wayward Villain: A Guide to be Bad but not a Douchebag.'
Tony, unfortunately, didn't have all the time he wanted to go searching for the missing man. He was still CEO and Ironman, and was quickly swamped with work. New designs to put on the market, bad guys to fight, PR and on and on.
Another thing was SHIELD. The dickheads.
Turns out, the superspy group had thought he was dying of palladium poisoning. Fury had rolled up to him while he was on a coffee run, cool as a cucumber, humming and hawing about how he had the ticket to Tony's life. It had honestly thrown Tony through a loop, wondering what the fuck the dude was talking about and if he was being threatened. When Fury had brought up the Palladium and how he could help cure him, Tony had laughed in his face and told him it wasn't an issue. Obviously, the superspy thought Tony was talking out of his ass, being all bravado in the face of 'certain death.'
Tony had left that meeting then, not bothering to correct him further. He truly and wholeheartedly didn't give a shit about what the leather-wearing, overcompensating shit-dick thought about him or had to 'offer him'. He could sniff out a manipulator a mile away and Fury reeked of it. He had quiet enough of that to last him a lifetime, thank-you-very-much.
But…
Buuttt
Two could play in that game.
So Tony took a consultant position. And was being paid out the ass for it. He had his first "consultation" next week at SHIELD headquarters and Tony was already rubbing his hands together in anticipation.
SHIELD headquarters was depressing as fuck, Corvin thought. The gray ass walls and equally gray ass floors were so sterile she could probably eat off them. There was no décor or color of any sort. The people that moved through the halls wore black suits, their ties and shoes also black. It was like living in an old time movie.
Her and Tony, in contrast, stood out like a pair of peacocks amongst the gradient. Tony was wearing a dazzling red blazer with a black undershirt threaded with gold. His pants were tight and black, and his shoes were red and black Louis Vuitton loafers. His wrists dripped in expensive watches and bracelets, studded in diamonds and platinum plated. His shades were designer and the golden handkerchief sticking out of his blazer pocket was genuine Mulberry silk.
He was dressed to kill and looked rich as fuck doing it.
Corvin was no less blinged, her collar was gold and studded with rubies and emeralds in dazzling patterns. Small chains dipped down her front in a flattering manner. Tony had even, gleefully, painted her front and back claws golden the night before. To top it all off, a tiny little golden tiara sat on her head between her ears.
They both looked stunning.
They were peacocks and you had to let them fly.
Tony walked them through the halls, strutting with her perched on his shoulder. Agents stopped and looked at them both in bewilderment, and the duo ate it up.
Coming to the end of a large hall, Tony wrapped on a door labeled "FURY" before letting himself in.
Nicholas Fury himself sat at a desk, glaring at Tony.
"Stark. I had you in room 3A."
"Well-" Tony slid on a grin.
"An hour ago."
The grin grew wider at Fury's angry tone.
"Well you know how it is, busy man yourself. Stark Industries waits for no man, not even the CEO himself."
Fury scowled more. Tony strutted forward, sitting primly on the chair. The shades remained on his face, along with the smug, shit eating smirk.
"So Nicky, what consulting do you need from little ol me today?" Fury gave Tony a long look, filled with disappointment that he assumed was supposed to mean something to Tony.
"We need you in the field, Stark."
"Oooooo, no can do, buckaroo. See, my job ain't to be your little agent, I'm here on a consulting basis only." Tony leaned back in his seat casually, crossing his legs. "No fire and flames, no weapons, just good ol' Tony Stark. Which is worth more than the Iron Man, if I do say so myself."
"The world needs Iron Man, not Tony Stark. We need you to work with us on that."
Tony's eyebrows climbed, "Wow there Nick, you're saying I'm not needed, huh? Iron Man is me, I am Iron Man. You can't have one without the other. And you know what?" Tony leaned forward in his chair, uncrossing his legs. "You are not getting either. So cut the shit, what do you want within what I'm willing to give."
Fury stared at him long and hard.
"The world ain't you're playground Stark."
"Uhhmmm It is though?" Tony's grin turned shark-like before settling back down into something more pleasant. "Now, I'm here to consult, not be bare boned into your super secret boy band. And you've got me for," he checked his watch, "20 more minutes, better make it fast."
Fury growled low in his throat, staring angrily at Tony. He stood from his desk.
"Fine, right this way, Stark."
Corvin dipped right after. That shit was boring. She trotted through the halls, her tail flicking back and forth as she snooped. She got strange looks, but nobody stopped her. Being a cat had all sorts of perks, being overlooked was a major one.
She found the cantina, and delighted in swiping at some twitchy Agents' ankles for awhile. She had also stumbled into some labs where it looked like they were running some form of experiments. Corvin was, sadly, ushered out rather quickly by a broom and one determined lab assist. She walked away with a few out of place hairs, but the lab assistant got a few good gashes on their legs for daring to try and swat her.
Stupid humans.
It was as she was walking through what appeared to be an indoor gym that Corvin got the oddest feeling. Looking around, she realized why.
A cat was staring at her. A very familiar orange cat that smelled like the stars.
Oh shit.
Corvin didn't have much chance to do anything before the cat jumped down from its perch and trotted over to her.
Goose (holy shit) sniffed at her face, their whiskers brushing together. Corvin sniffed back warily, smelling the star dust mix with something dark and smooth that reminded her of a predator. The cat in front of her was clearly on the top of the food chain.
A low pur came from Goose as she sniffed her, the flerken sitting back on her haunches and looking at her. Corvin sat as well, flummoxed.
But not for long!
Goose opened her mouth a small bit, and a fucking tentacle came out.
Fuck that shit.
Corvin turned and dashed away, unwilling to become the flerken's lunch. She, however, didn't get far. The thin tentacle wrapped around her back feet and dragged her backwards, claws scraping on the floor and leaving thin white lines in their wake.
'I think I saw a hentai like this once' She thought deliriously as she was pulled towards the alien.
Shiiiiiiitttt
Corvin yowled to the empty halls as she stopped in front of Goose. The tentacle let her go and she attempted to bolt again, only for yet another tentacle to come out and hold her still. Yikes, this was getting gross. They were slimy and getting in her fur and eewwwww.
She hissed as Goose held up the original one, it was smaller than the other and the ones she had seen in the movie, the end looked funny and she did NOT want to find out why.
The universe hated her in that particular moment, however, and she found out just why when the end opened up to reveal dozens of smaller, tiny tentacles that glowed.
What in the Avatar Pandora Blue Bloody FUCK is that?
Her yowls turned to screeches when the tiny tentacles moved towards her face.
Helminthophobia: ACTIVATED
Fear: HIGH
The tendrils touched her, their small slimy selfs slithering along her face… Her face that was mysteriously going numb. Tendrils poked into the corner of her eyes and she refused to think further on it because nope, nope not happening. Disassociate. DISASSOCIATE.
Stare at the ceiling. Nothing is happening.
Count the tiles. Nothing is happening.
Focus on the sound of talking halls away. Nothing is happening.
Nope, nothing at all, the weather is nice. That gray doesn't go well there. Is that a water station over there? These floors are cold. What did she want for dinner? She bet she could get Tony to take her to that new fish place.
'Stand now, Child.'
WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?
Corvin jerked back into awareness. The tentacles were gone and Goose was sitting a few inches from her, the cat's large eyes looking at her, unblinking.
Her head hurt, and refused to work properly. Which is why she didn't dash like a bat outta hell the moment she realized she was no longer restrained.
'What the fuuuuccccckkk' she thought to herself.
'What indeed'
…
Bruh
'Did you just fucking talk in my head?' Corvin stared at the orange alien cat in front of her with wide disbelief. Said alien cat nodded her head.
BRUHHHH
'Yes, I implanted a spore on your temporal lobe so that we may speak to each other.'
'That is horrifying information, just so you know,' Corvin responded, trying very hard to not think about what she just learned. She righted herself, sitting on her butt in front of Goose. Licking her chops, she chased away the numb feeling she had before. As much as she wanted to beat the shit out of this cat for feeling her up alien probe style, she was also fascinated. This was the first conversation she's had with another being in… 2 years? 3? Her brain craved this form of stimulation.
'Why the spore?' she asked.
'You do not have the necessary parts in your brain for telepathy between my race or any other. The spore acts as a… transmitter in human terms.'
'What will the spore do to me? Any long term effects I should be worried about?' Corvin flexed her paws, claws going in and out with her anxiety. Goose seemed to pick up on this, her head moving forward to boop her nose against her face.
'Peace, child. It will not harm you. Over time your brain will grow around it and it will be a part of you as much as your tail or toes. It will allow you to speak with my kind.'
'No others?' Corvin asked, sniffing at Goose's face. She still smelled like the stars, but she could also smell Fury on her as well. Goose must have been with the man recently.
'No. To put it in human terms, it is a radio on a closed network that only others of my kind can tune into.'
'Damn, you've been around humans a long time, haven't you?'
'Yes, I have been with the one who wears the darkened hide as a second fur.'
'Darkened hide- oh! That's leather, I'm assuming you mean Nick Fury? The human with only one eye.'
'Yes him, quite a confident hunter, wearing his kills so openly.' Goose hummed appreciatively. Corvin decided not to correct or explain the concept of leather coats or buying them. She hummed in confirmation, her tail flicking up behind her. She was surprisingly comfortable after being brain probed. She couldn't tell if it was shock or her adapting to the crazy that is the Marvel universe. Rise with the tide or drown and all that.
'Though he is foolish in other ways,'
'How so?'
'I am the reason he is missing an eye. He was foolish to hold a predator such as I so close to his face.' She bobbed her head, 'He learned a valuable lesson that all hunters should know that day.'
'If anything you just made him more intimidating.'
Goose looked confused, 'A one eyed hunter is less efficient when capturing prey. There have been many times I have had to bring him my kills so he could be sustained'
Ok, the thought of Goose bringing Fury dead birds like normal cats was pretty funny. On the other hand, she didn't know what Goose would call prey, considering she could eat things a hundred times her size. The thought of her barfing up a human or two or even a fucking elephant on Fury's rug was a humorous one, however.
'Humans do not see it that way. They see the one eye and think him dangerous for it'
Goose was quiet for a moment, 'Two leggers are an odd sort.'
Corvin snorted in response, 'Got that right' Goose hummed in agreement.
'Sooo, what now? And why do this in the first place?' the red feline asked, her head tilting to the side.
'I smell within you a power similar to my kind's. I… desire comradery.'
'Gurl you telling me you went from fourth to fifth kind on me 'cuz you wanted a friend?' It had to be difficult to look that sheepish on a cat's face, but Goose did it.
'...perhaps I was a touch hasty…' Goose shiftily admitted, Corvin tried not to roll her eyes.
'... Bood.'
Corvin had a new best friend. Goose was a riot and a half, and delightfully savage in the best ways. When she would complain about people or things, Goose would tell her to eat them whole and shit out their souls. And, honesty? A girl needs that type of support.
The look of thinly veiled terror when Fury saw the two of them together was icing on the cake.
'Goose! Quick, turn to me and hold your mouth open wide.' Corvin cackled in her thoughts. Goose complied, her own cackles ringing in the red's mind. Corvin copied the motion, and the two sat there, still as death, their mouths open like they were screaming at each other. It was a very unnatural sight, one that only Fury saw since he was sitting facing the door. Corvin wasn't sure exactly what she was aiming for with the look, but the dread that filled Fury's eyes was golden and would be a hit feature in her daydreams for years to come.
Sadly, the look was broken as Tony stood up.
"The 20 minutes is up, see you next time, Nicky," Tony cooed, turning around. The sight of Goose gave him a pause. "Looks like you made a friend, baby. Maybe we'll see about some playdates after school lets out, but the PTA around here is super toxic. Nicky's pride will never let him admit my lemon squares are better than his brownies."
"Stark-" Fury hissed.
"The bake sales do not lie!" the genius declared extra dramatic, a finger pointed to the sky.
'I like your human, he is entertaining.' Goose hummed to her.
'Girl, you have no idea.'
Tony swooped down and scooped her up, karting her off through the base. Goose followed along behind him, chatting with Corvin.
'He smells like you do.'
'I do hang around him most of the day.'
'More than that, it is as if you and your human share a base scent. I cannot make sense of it.'
'Wack, lemme know if you do. This universe is crazy.'
'The multiverse is full of it.' Goose humed in agreement.
'How do you know that?' Corvin asked, fascinated.
'The pockets within me, every one leads to alternate realities. Some of my own making and personal use, and some that hold entire universes full of life.' Goose dodged around an agent's feet as she spoke. 'I am able to briefly glimpse into these worlds when I send something there.'
'Ok, wack. But where does it come out on the other side?'
'Another of my kind is on the other side and regurgitates whatever I send.'
'Dude, gross.'
Goose laughed. Sadly, they had to leave after that, Corvin was sad to say goodbye to her new friend.
She wasn't sad for long.
Goose showed up at the mansion two days later.
Then the fun began.
AN
TO ALL THE PEOPLE RAGGING ON MY GRAMMER IN THIS CHAPTER
i wrote this at 3am chill
I've literally gotten several messages PARAGRAPHS long going through every spelling mistake i made this chapter. I appreciate your concern but its unsolicited. Thank you!