I know it's been a few weeks and in the past I've been better about uploading consistently. I'm working through how I want this installment to go and I'm glad to see people are still reading after all this time. Welcome to Part 2 :)
"Sorry I'm late, babe," Jay called into the house, dropping his keys on the kitchen counter while he hustled in, "Caught a crime scene."
Erin looked over in confusion and then to the clock on the oven. Jay wasn't late. He was almost thirty minutes early. "You're not late," she replied, furrowing her brow as she sized up her partner, "My session isn't til three."
Jay frowned and glanced down at his watch. "It isn't at two thirty?"
She shook her head. "That's the boys' three month appointment tomorrow. Two thirty." A smile formed on her lips. "I don't suppose you'll be wearing that to the pediatrician."
Jay glanced down and blanched. He was still in his tactical gear. At the thought of being late to the house to keep an eye on the boys while Erin had an appointment, he'd forgotten to remove his vest and the thigh holster. "Oops," he said sheepishly, "I better text Platt, make sure she knows I'll return it tomorrow."
"Or maybe the next day," Erin said, casting another gaze over her fiancé, "Been a while since I've seen you in full tactical gear, Halstead. I might have forgotten how good you look with a gun strapped to your thigh."
Jay swallowed, heat rising in his cheeks. "Yeah?" he rasped, feeling his pulse accelerate when Erin put a hand on his arm, "This turn you on?"
She nodded, carefully grazing her fingers over the vest. "Thigh holster used to make me weak at the knees," she mused, tugging him closer by the edges of his Kevlar, "But I think this thing is my favorite." Erin rubbed the material with her thumbs. "Anything that keeps your heart safe is my favorite piece of equipment."
Jay leaned down to kiss her lips gently. "I'm being safe," he promised, "I have to get home to my kids and my beautiful wife to be." He kissed her lips again. "That means every precaution is taken."
"Mm," Erin murmured, "I like to hear that. Tell me more about these precautions." She paused and met his gaze. "You know, the boys are sleeping and I've got thirty minutes before Dr. Peterson is expecting me."
He widened his eyes. "Now?" he managed, "You want to…now?"
Erin nodded and then paused again, her face falling. "Unless you don't want to," she said, dropping her hands from his vest. "You're right, it's weird. It's the middle of the afternoon and two of our kids are in the house and I smell like baby vomit-"
"No, babe," Jay insisted, grabbing her hands carefully, "I do. Want to." He brushed some hair off her cheek. "You smell delicious. But I'd like to take my time." Jay rested a hand on her hip, carefully rubbing the skin beneath the oversized t shirt of his and pair of leggings that his fiancé was clad in. "I want to treat you right. Might need a lot longer than thirty minutes."
The smile returned to Erin's lips. "It's been months between you getting stabbed and your sons tearing apart my fun parts and you still wanna be patient?"
"I waited years to kiss you," he replied, "I'm well-versed in restraint." Jay leaned down to kiss her lips gently. "You've always been worth the wait."
Erin really was worth the wait. After the traumatic arrival of their sons, Jay felt his fiancé slowly slipping from his grasp as she grappled with the changes her body was experiencing, the stress of being a new mom and feeding two hungry Halsteads and the exhaustion of little to no sleep.
It had been just under a month since she and Jay had taken their first weekend away without any of their kids. The time together, just the two of them, had been much, much needed. Wisconsin was their family place and their safe place – enough for his girl to painfully open up her aching heart.
And she was on her way back. Just like Erin had done for him in months prior, Jay sat beside his partner on the couch in her therapist's office, her hand in his. He knew firsthand just how difficult it could be when the world felt like it was crashing in.
"Thanks for waiting," she murmured, leaning forward to rest her head against his vest, "And thanks for wearing the vest." Erin yawned. "Gives me at least some peace of mind when you're out there."
Jay chuckled softly and dropped a kiss atop her head. "I do miss you helping me put it on," he replied into her hair, "Ruzek isn't the same."
She snorted and pulled back when she heard a noise from one of the bassinets that was in the living room. "I think our kids are half bat," Erin mumbled, stifling another yawn as she padded over to their boys, "Nocturnal. And those ears." She ran her fingers over Liam's ears. "He can hear everything. That's why he always wakes up first."
Jay wrinkled his brow. "I thought you said they both had my ears," he said, leaning down to examine the baby's ears before reaching up to touch his own. "They aren't big."
"No, but you hear everything," she informed him, reaching into the crib to lift Liam up, "And your sons do too. Don't you, bud? Do you have good hearing like your daddy?"
"You're the one who hears them before they cry," Jay reminded her, leaning down to kiss Liam's forehead, "You want me to drive you? Let you close your eyes for a little?"
"Ryan hates the car," Erin said, tilting her head down toward her still-sleeping son, "And Hailey's dropping Piper off soon. She shouldn't come home to an empty house."
Jay nodded in understanding. "I got him," he offered, holding out his arms to take Liam. He wrinkled his brow when Erin didn't pass him over.
"Vest, babe," she said lightly, cradling Liam against her chest, "He might not be the snuggly twin, but he still wants to be close to his daddy." Erin smiled when Jay's features relaxed. "Plus I don't want to put him down. Not when he's being sweet." She nuzzled the top of his head with her nose. "Mama's boys, right?"
"I am Mama's original boy," Jay informed the infant, carefully peeling his vest off, "Don't go stealing my girl, buddy." A grin spread across his lips when he heard Ryan rustle. "Two against one isn't fair."
"They're getting big." Erin brushed Ryan's lips carefully when her partner lifted him up, "I think the formula and breastmilk combo is keeping them fuller for longer." She paused. "I have to pump too." A small smile spread across her face. "My milk supply is up again. I started freezing some today."
"That's great," Jay gushed, "Really great, babe." He beamed when Ryan cooed. "You think so too, bubba? You're not going to be a little man for long if you keep going to town on those bottles."
"Now we just need to get Noodle eating more," Erin sighed, "She's not as easy."
"Hailey's taking her for hot chocolate." Jay held out his arm to take Liam, "I'll check out her lunchbox when she comes home, see what we're working with." He kissed the top of Liam's head and then Ryan's. "Don't worry babe. We'll be here when you're done. You sure you don't want a ride?"
"How many cars have I crashed, Halstead?" she asked teasingly, raising her eyebrows, "Zero. I love you for worrying, but I'm all good. Much more solid than I've been in a while."
Erin leaned against the back of the couch in her therapist's office. She was honestly glad that it wasn't so comfortable because if it was, the chances were pretty high that she'd doze off. With the boys feeling fuller for longer, she was finally able to sleep more than an hour at a time, but she was still exhausted.
But it was night and day from where she'd been weeks prior. Before, she was practically a shell of herself. Nothing she did or said felt natural. There was a weight on her shoulders that wouldn't abate and all she wanted to do was sleep.
Jay was her rock. He usually was, but in months prior, they took turns in carrying each other when they needed it. And her partner, her partner for life, did not shy away when she needed him. Erin swore she could see him slowly attempting to glue her back together. He held her in his arms for hours on end up in the Wisconsin cabin, his lips at her forehead, hands across her back.
It was his words that helped. She wasn't alone. He was in it with her, no matter what. They were a team. He held her hand while she trembled in the therapist's office and rubbed her back when she attempted to pump. It was something she'd previously done alone, the shame of not producing as much as their boys needed resting deep in her chest. She didn't want to let him into how much she was struggling.
His touched helped. Therapy helped. Her boys taking formula helped them sleep through the night, which allowed her to sleep helped too. It all helped and slowly, Erin started recognizing herself in the mirror a little bit more. Her boys were approaching three months earth side, and while she'd loved them the minute she knew of their existence, Erin was still processing just how much more she loved them with every second that passed. The life she had was a life she only had ever dreamed about and if she was being honest, she still couldn't believe it was hers.
"Before I blocked it out with booze and drugs," she murmured, toying with the end of Jay's flannel sleeve after her therapist, Dr. Kathleen Peterson, asked a question about how she was feeling, "I don't think I ever felt it before. Even…even after Nadia, I slipped back. This time, I knew I couldn't slip back and I couldn't block it out."
Dr. Peterson nodded slowly. "What's 'it', Erin?" she probed, "We've talked about it before, but we've not defined it."
"I don't know," Erin shrugged, "Everything. I didn't want to feel anything because nothing was better than whatever I was feeling. Scared. Lonely. Worried. Guilty."
"Are you feeling that way now?"
"I was," she replied, "I mean, I still am, to some extent because you know, I'm here. I feel less lonely now, because of Jay. I was worried about the boys, but they're getting stronger, so I feel better about that." She swallowed. "I'm really…I'm really worried about Piper, I think. She's been so good with all of this and I keep telling Jay that I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I can tell that he's worried too." She let out a heavy breath. "She's still our kid, but something is off. And neither of us can get it. I thought…I thought having these conversations would help, because if I was steadier maybe then she'd open up but-"
"It's natural for parents to worry about their child," Dr. Peterson replied, "Especially in times of change and turmoil."
"All she's ever known is change and turmoil," she muttered, "From the moment she was born, nothing has ever, ever been consistent. And that was what I wanted to do when I found out that she existed. I wanted her to have stability and someone to trust and I haven't done that."
"And you feel guilty?"
Erin nodded. "Not about the boys," she clarified, "But by the way I handled it. My pregnancy, their delivery…I wasn't easy. I was sick and exhausted, not to mention the fact that our biological father came back and Jay was in the hospital-"
"None of that was your fault," Dr. Peterson interrupted, "And based on the conversations we've had this past month, Jay doesn't blame you for any of that. It was out of your control."
She exhaled again heavily and dropped her hands to the side. "Then why do I feel so shitty about it?" she asked in aspiration, "Every time I look at my daughter I see all the ways I've let her down."
"Has she told you that you let her down?"
"No, but I can sense it." Erin took another deep breath. "It's…it's the nightmares that I'm pretty sure are getting worse, but whenever I ask, she tells me she's okay. But I know she's not because I hear Jay get up at night to try to comfort her. She practically falls asleep into her breakfast and dinner because she doesn't sleep at night." She brought a hand to her forehead. "I don't know what to do. I think Jay's freaking out too but he's doing a better job at hiding it than I am. She won't even talk about the nightmares or whatever is keeping her up with him."
"So Piper is having a difficult time," Dr. Peterson stated, "But why do you think it's because of you?"
Erin paused. "I don't…I'm not sure," she said finally, "I just figured that it was because of the changes in our house and me because that's…that's how I felt when I was ten." She swallowed. "It was always my mom."
"You aren't your mother," the doctor told her gently, "You are a safe person for Piper and your boys." She offered a smile. "You're here, aren't you?"
Erin nodded again. It was true. She was doing the work. She was doing everything in her power to be the mother her kids needed her to be.
"It smells amazing in here," Erin praised as she entered the house from the side door, kicking her boots off in the process, "Did I catch a whiff of Hank's famous chicken pot pie?"
"You did," Hank confirmed, patting the baby's back on his chest gently as he maneuvered around the kitchen, "Assembled by Chef Peanut, though." He glanced around and gestured to the living room, "She picked up Liam while Jay went to tackle the laundry."
Her smile widened when she saw her baby girl carefully pushing Liam in the baby swing that Will had gifted. Liam was wearing a gummy grin while Piper stuck her tongue out and made faces. "She's amazing," she murmured, stroking Ryan's hair back, "Someone really likes their grandpa."
"He wasn't happy his brother got the swing," Hank said knowingly, dropping a kiss atop his daughter's head, "But he mellowed out."
"Hey, babe," Jay greeted, poking his head out from the laundry room, "You got a second?"
Erin padded over to the laundry room, her heart rate picking up. "What's going on?" she asked, folding her arms over her chest, "Did something happen?"
Jay shook his head quickly. "They're alright. The boys really like Hank." He glanced over Erin's shoulder to see his father figure still standing in the kitchen with Ryan on his chest. "I wanted to see if you were okay. After-"
"It was good," Erin interrupted, her shoulders dropping slightly, "We…we had a good chat. I feel better every time, I think. I'm just sorting through a whole bunch of stuff." She raked her fingers through her hair. "And I'm stressed about Noodle."
He nodded slowly and pulled out his phone. "'s what I wanted to talk about. When Hailey dropped her off today, she mentioned the history teacher said something to her about us getting an email about Piper. And I wanted to wait for you, see if you'd seen anything." He thumbed through his inbox quickly when Erin shook her head, "Something about a quiz." He paused when he came across the email.
"No, I haven't checked my email in a day or two. Why? What is it? Babe?"
"She didn't pass the last quiz." Jay looked up from his phone screen. "They had one on Wednesday and she didn't finish it." He handed the phone to Erin so she could read it as well. "She loves history. And they're learning about medieval England, which she was excited about."
Erin scanned the email, brow wrinkled. "It's because she's exhausted," she said with a sigh, "History is her last class of the day. Our kid has been getting just as much sleep as we have because she's such a light little sleeper."
"And when she is sleeping, she's having nightmares again," Jay continued, rubbing his face with his hand as he glanced down at the phone again. "I've been trying to talk to her about them when I get to her but I haven't gotten through at all. And Hailey said she hasn't gotten anything either. Pipes didn't say anything about school today when I asked."
Erin blew out a breath. "I'm going to try now," she determined, "We don't want to ambush her."
Jay nodded in agreement. "I'm going to fold this," he said, gesturing to the dryer before pressing a kiss to her forehead, "I'll be out for backup in a few."
Erin nodded gratefully and headed for the living room. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She knew her daughter was struggling, but to hear about it from the teacher…that was a whole other level. Piper needed her to be the mother figure she promised she would be. "Hey Noodle," she said softly, offering a smile. "Liam loves that. You're really good with him."
Piper turned her head to meet her mommy's gaze. Her mommy looked okay. She was smiling, which was good. Her mommy always smiled when the babies were smiling and when she was smiling too. "He's goofy," Piper replied, demonstrating by sticking her tongue out again for Liam, "Daddy said that's how come he's like Will." She gave a smile to her mommy. "But I don't think he's like Will, because he doesn't like Hailey at all."
Erin chuckled and crouched down in front of the swing beside her little girl. "Well, I think the boys got bits of everyone. They're their own amazing people." She wrapped an arm around her first baby's shoulders and pressed a kiss to her head. "Just like you."
She beamed when Piper settled against her. As sweet as her little girl was, Erin had felt a distance between her and Piper for what felt like months now. She knew that Piper knew that she loved her, but something was off. "I missed you today," Erin murmured, threading her fingers through Piper's soft hair, "How was school?"
Piper shrugged. "Missed you," she mumbled against Erin's arm, "I like bein' home more than school." She looked up at Liam, who's features appeared to be wrinkling. "Uh-oh. I think he's gonna cry."
As if on cue, Liam erupted into sobs. "He's jealous," Piper explained when Erin reached forward to lift the baby out of the swing, "I think he just wants to be a part of everything."
Erin nodded, stroking Liam's back carefully. "He might also be hungry," she mused, "Might be time for bottles and night night for the boys." She kissed the top of his head. "Maybe you, me and Daddy could watch a movie tonight even though there's work and school tomorrow. What do you think?"
Piper gave an excited nod. She hadn't gotten to have a movie night with her mommy and daddy in a long while. The boys would usually wake up as soon as they started, but now that they were sleeping more, she might get a few hours just with her parents. "I can make the bottles for the boys," she offered, "Daddy gave them new diapers while me and Hank were making the pie."
"That would be great," Erin said, carefully standing to sit on the couch where Hank was seated with Ryan, "I think the boys like your bottles the most." She paused. "You sure you don't need help?"
"I got it," Piper promised, leaning forward to give Liam a kiss. Erin's heart nearly exploded. Watching her first baby love her newborns always had her feeling all the feelings, but as she was emerging from the post partum fog, it was even more heart-melting. She loved how much Piper loved her little brothers.
Jay smiled as he emerged from the laundry room, basket full of clean sheets on his hip. Having his boss and future father in law less than ten minutes away (seven when Erin was driving) was honestly a huge blessing he hadn't expected to be so grateful for. Hank was great with all of his kids, but especially the boys. And he was also a source of support for Erin. Seeing them on the couch, each holding one of his sons, had his heart swelling. Before Piper, he may not have understood the father-daughter dynamic, but now that he had his own little girl it was even more special.
"Nice job, kiddo," Jay praised. He dropped the basket of laundry on the bottom step and immediately grimaced. He'd forgotten just how much sudden noises could spook his kids – all of his kids.
Piper practically jumped out of her skin and the bottle of formula she was shaking slipped from her grasp, spilling all over the counter. He watched, almost in slow motion, as his little girl's features absolutely crumbled, a string of desperate 'I'm sorrys' leaving her lips.
As her lower lip quivered, Jay realized that it wasn't only the spilled bottle that was causing an extreme reaction. He was fairly confident that he knew his baby girl like the back of his hand. Between his injury, the boy's arrival, Erin's pregnancy and experience postpartum, Piper had been through a lot. Erin talked about waiting for the other shoe to drop and by the look on his daughter's face, this was the last straw. Piper had been so mature, so brave, so resilient over the past few months – and Jay could tell she couldn't take it anymore.
"Hey, hey, it's okay," he soothed, rushing over to lift her off the chair she was standing on, "Only formula." He swallowed the lump in his throat when Piper jumped off the chair before he could reach her and sprinted for the steps. His heart lurched. When Piper first came to live with him and dropped a glass, she had cowered in fear beneath the kitchen table. They'd come so far since then, but her tearful reaction was giving him a sense of déjà vu. "Wait, Pipes, stop."
Jay frowned further when Piper stopped short. His little girl was trembling with fear as her eyes darted from the mess in the kitchen to the adults in the room. "Don't worry, it's just a spill. These things happen." He glanced over to Erin. Their little girl needed both of her parents.
Erin carefully lifted Liam onto her father's chest so that she could get to her first baby. While Liam wasn't happy about the move, he settled quickly. Piper needed her. "It's okay, sweetheart," she tried, holding a hand out, "No big deal. It's just formula. We'll make them another bottle." She offered a gentle smile. "Do you want to come back and sit with me and the boys while they have dinner?"
Piper shook her head slowly, squeezing her hands tightly. She made a big mess. She was supposed to be helping with the boys and making things easier, not creating more work and stress. "I…I need a minute," she whispered, trying her hardest to keep her eyes dry. She didn't want to cry. If she started crying, the boys would probably start crying too.
Jay exchanged a glance with Erin. "You can have all the time you need," he said, trying to determine what next steps he should try to encourage Piper to take. The parenting books had talked about moving to a safe space, and he and Erin had worked hard to make Piper's bedroom a place where she felt comfortable. Upstairs and away from the fussy babies could make his child feel more secure when she felt like her emotions were spiraling out of control. "Do you want to go upstairs for a little? You're not in any trouble, but sometimes when I'm feeling a lot of feelings, it helps to take a break."
Piper nodded wordlessly and took a shaky step up the steps. Erin turned to Hank, who gestured for her and Jay to follow, indicating that he'd be fine with the boys. "Is it okay if we come with you?" Erin asked, reaching for Jay's hand, "We don't have to talk, if you don't want. Or if you want to be alone, that's okay too."
Erin felt her heart clench when Piper's thin shoulders shrugged. Jay gave her hand a squeeze. He knew it too. Their little girl needed her parents – both of her parents.
She watched as Piper attempted to take a few deep breaths after entering her bedroom. Her ten year old was trying her best to keep her emotions together and was honestly doing a remarkable job. "You're safe," Jay said finally after a minute of silence, "You're safe here, kiddo."
Piper gave a small nod. "I-I know," she stammered, clenching her fists again, "I'm trying…I'm trying to do the breathing."
"You're doing a great job," Erin praised, swallowing the lump in her throat, "But it's okay to be upset if that's what you're feeling. It's important to keep breathing, but it's also okay to cry, if that's what you need to do."
She shook her head. "I don't want to cry," Piper choked out, "I-" She stopped and bit down on her lip harshly. She really didn't want to cry, but her mommy and daddy were looking at her all worried, which meant they were already worried even though she didn't even cry yet.
That was enough. Tears welled in Piper's eyes and crashed down her cheeks before she could stop them. "It's okay," Erin soothed, crouching down and holding her arms out to her little girl, "It's okay, sweet girl. We're here."
Piper crumbled into Erin's open arms with a stifled sob. "Oh, my Noodle bug," she murmured, rubbing her sweet baby's back, "We're here. You're not alone." Erin swallowed again. Her little girl had been so brave and mature. The exhaustion in the child's body as she sagged against her was palpable. And Erin was acutely familiar with that feeling.
"S-s-sorry," Piper stuttered, pulling back after a moment, "I'm sorry."
"It's been a long few months," Jay mused, reaching a tentative hand to rest on Piper's head. "And we know that it's overwhelming and tiring. Grown ups feel like that sometimes. I know I do." Jay stroked Piper's hair back and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You never have to apologize for how you're feeling, kiddo."
Piper sniffed and shook her head. "I'm supposed to be brave," she croaked, "That's what I'm supposed to do and-" She stopped, willing the tears to abate. She didn't want to cry again.
"It's hard to be brave all the time," Erin said thickly, rubbing Piper's tiny hand with her thumb. She wanted to hold her baby close and never let her go again. "You don't always have to be so brave, sweetheart."
The little girl swallowed and squeezed her eyes tightly. "You're not gonna be proud of me if I'm not brave."
Piper's statement was worse than a stab wound to the back. Jay's eyes locked on Erin's misty hazels. He knew exactly what she was thinking. Their impossibly empathic daughter thought that them being proud of her was contingent on her being helpful and stoic in the midst of turmoil.
"We are so proud of you," Jay insisted, "No matter what, Pipes. You are an incredible kid." He wiped her cheek gently with his fingertips. "Mommy and I love you so much. That's never going to change. You're ours."
Erin wiped her own eyes quickly. She was honestly waiting for the moment to happen. When she first met Piper, it took weeks for her to open up and months for her to trust. And rightfully so. Her little girl had been through countless homes, dealt with unfathomable circumstances and somehow emerged on the other side. Piper was nothing short of a miracle.
It took consistent and relentless reaffirmations of love and support for their daughter to know that Erin and Jay were not going anywhere. And slowly but surely, Piper progressed from being timid and shy to clinging tightly to both her parents whenever she could, clearly craving the comfort and security that had been denied to her for most of her life. To people who didn't know their daughter's backstory, Piper's clinginess could easily be misunderstood, but it really was a good thing. Piper clung when she felt safe and unfortunately, that clinginess had regressed in the months after the boys' arrival.
Erin knew something was wrong. She put it out of her head as best she could in the last weeks of her pregnancy, chalking it up to Piper's worry about her health and Jay's recovery. She even tried not to think about it when they first brought Liam and Ryan home, but it had been three months. And now she knew.
The praise and gratitude Piper received for being able to handle all the turmoil had her child thinking that in their new life as a family of five, that same maturity was expected of her. Putting on the brave face and acting far above her years was clearly weighing on her, and certainly wasn't helped by the lack of sleep and worry about her mommy.
Erin carefully pulled her daughter closer into her chest. "You know, I um, you know that for a few months now, I've been having a hard time?" She sniffed when Piper gave a small nod. "And I've been doing my best to feel better and be a better mommy to you and the boys. That's why Daddy and I took the trip up to Wisconsin a few weeks ago and why I've been going to see Dr. Peterson." Erin drew in a shaky breath, feeling Jay's palm on her back. He was there with her. It was Jay and his girls.
"And I know all of that's been confusing and scary for you," Erin continued, doing all she could to keep her voice measured, "And having the boys is a really big adjustment in our house. But Dr. Peterson told me something today that I think is really important. And she said that sometimes the bravest thing you can do is to not be brave."
Erin managed a small smile when Jay kissed the top of her head. "Daddy…when Daddy got hurt, the bravest thing he did was say that he needed some help. And we were really proud of him for that. And so that's what I'm trying to do too because…because it's okay not to be fine."
"I love Mommy no matter what," Jay whispered, kissing the top of Erin's head again, "And we love you too. You are allowed to feel what you need to, and we'll be there to help with whatever you need."
Piper huddled further into her mommy's arms, clutching the flannel she was wearing tightly in her fists. "I'm tired," she croaked, "But it's hard to sleep 'cause I have bad dreams that somethings gonna happen to the boys." Piper's voice cracked. "And I don't want anything bad to happen to them."
Jay found Erin's gaze again. Their little bug loved her brothers so much. "The boys are okay," Jay promised, "We know you love them and we do too, but they're growing and getting stronger and bigger every day."
"They cry," Piper whimpered, shaking her head, "They cry all the time and crying is for when you're scared or hurting or worried or sad and I don't want them to be any of those things. It's not fair."
Erin held Piper tighter. "That's how babies communicate until they learn words," she said softly, stroking her hair back, "Because Ryan and Liam don't know how to talk yet, they cry to tell us what they need. Just like you know when Liam wants attention, right? He starts crying because he feels left out. That's his way of telling us that he wants to be held."
Piper sniffed, soaking up the comfort her mommy was providing. She missed getting held by her mommy. With the boys crying all the time, one of them was usually with her parents and Piper didn't want to hurt them, especially if they weren't feeling good. "They're trying to talk?" she asked, sniffing again, "They don't hurt?"
Jay shook his head. "Nope. But they tell us when they have full diapers and they're getting uncomfortable, or when they're hungry or when they want to be held." He smiled at Erin, just watching how tightly Piper was holding to her. Their baby wasn't a baby, but she was still learning how to verbalize what she needed. It was their job as parents to meet those needs and help all their kids learn how to advocate for what they needed. "And when the boys are bigger, they'll be able to use their words. They'll say that they want to be picked up or ask for bottles when they're hungry." Jay kissed Erin's cheek lightly. He was so proud of his girl. Of both of his girls.
"It might take them some time to learn," Erin murmured, "I'm still learning to say what I need." She rubbed Piper's back lightly. Her little girl was so fragile. While she'd grown and gained a little weight since she came to live with Jay over a year and a half ago, it was hard to get her to consume enough calories. "Right now, I think I need some chicken pot pie on the couch with my best girl."
Piper leaned in closer. "I just want you guys," she mumbled against Erin's neck, "That's all."
Erin kissed her forehead. "We can do that," she promised, "The boys are going to have their bottles and go to sleep, and then the three of us can watch a movie together. How does that sound?"
Jay nodded. That sounded really good to him as well. Based on the history teacher's email, his little girl was struggling beyond what he and Erin could see at home. She needed connection and security before they even broached the topic of her difficulty in school, but Jay was optimistic. Erin was on her way back, and together, they'd get their daughter back as well.
I'm still playing around with Part 2 content so if you have any requests, let me know! Planning to cover the next few months of new babies in this part, but sometimes I do get carried away...