Previous Translations: Yorokobi - Pleasure/Delight/Joy
Yokubo - Desire/Lust
Kajo - Excess
Shifuku no Kurushimi - Blissful Throes/Blissful Suffering
Tatakainouta - Song of Battle
Zeitakuna Kutsu - Luxurious Torment
Hentai-ryu: Erokenho - Pervert Style: Erotic Fist Art
Konton - Chaos
Kanzen - Perfect
Henka - Change
Harakainokeru - Dispel
Aka-en - Red Flame
Aoi-en - Blue Flame
Maho - Magic
Chishiki - Knowledge
Unmei - Fate
Nozomu - Hope
Hoho no Chenja - honestly this one is a mess, but roughly means Changer of Ways
Ryuketsu - Bloodshed
Chikara - Strength
Meiyo - Honor
Budo - Martial Arts
Ikari - Rage
Jumon - Incantation
Himitsu no Sewanin - Secret Caretaker(Keeper of Secrets)
Sento - Combat
Same no On'na - Shark-Woman
Maebure - Harbinger
Shibari no Ashikase - Binding Fetters
Kanpeki - Perfection
Reikan - the closest English word would be Inspiration, but it specifically refers to 'a divine creative impulse'
Sekkyo-sha - Preacher
Aijin - Lover
Kaen Hosha-ki - Flame Radiator (Flamer of Tzeentch)
Himeiwoageru - Which Screams (Screamer of Tzeentch)
Shikkan - Disease
Ai - Love
Zetsubo - Despair
Mi Haito - Undivided/Not Divided
Shibo - Aspiring
Koki - Exalted
Chakra no Bato - Coruscating Chakra/Chakra of Coruscation
Gyokai - Industry
In case someone somehow doesn't know, Hi - Fire
Don'yoku - Greed/Avarice
Yokuatsu - Tyranny/Oppression
Yami no Chichi - Father of Darkness/Dark Father
Raimeiton - Thunder Release, what Naruto has decided to name his mix of wind and lightning chakra
Shuryoju - Hunting Beasts (same word for plural or singular), an alternate name for Fiends of Slaanesh, best word I could find for them
Konton no Omo - Lord of Chaos
Kemonojin - a very jank way of translating Beastmen into Japanese, basically would mean Animal-Human
Tsunade listened to the mission report with a growing desire to destroy her own desk with her head, she decided to get some of what Karin had shown to Shizune for hospital use and take up smoking like her late sensei did as Hokage but with a different substance. By the end of it she was just glad Naruto hadn't somehow sparked a war with his brash actions, although at this point she was pretty sure he might actually win against most minor villages. Taki and Ame were the only ones likely to be the death of him unless he had serious back up at this point.
Particularly concerning was that Naruto's Fuin somehow now contained the power of the Hoshi, which according to the report was supposed to be dangerous. Maemi insisted Naruto's vitality combined with the Fuin acting as a filter meant he would be fine, but given the Imp being behind the odd radioactive meteorite going to the blonde young Uzumaki the Godaime Hokage had some other concerns.
"You are so lucky Hoshigakure no Sato has no S rank ninja." Tsunade remarked dryly, "No offense." she added to the red headed woman, she found it disturbing how much the woman almost resembled Naruto's own mother but decided not to comment on that.
"None taken." Natsuhi assured with a polite incline of her head, beside her Sumaru looked annoyed anyway.
"Well, as Naruto-kun promised, we can try to heal you, and we can sort out some new alliances while you're here." Tsunade assured with a tired sigh, "Who is currently Shinobigashira for your village?" she asked,
"The other jonin decided I would be Yondaime Hoshikage." Natsuhi informed, "I hope we can get along." she added with a polite bow.
"I'm sure we will, and I'm sorry for the trouble Naruto-kun caused." Tsunade responded, "The rest of you are dismissed." she added with a dismissive gesture to the four ninso, "Jiraiya will have a chat with you when he gets back." she added at Naruto and his Muse.
Maemi was quite pleased with herself, even if she had to explain herself to Jiraiya later she'd managed to greatly boost her master's already incredible chakra. At this point he'd be a Daemon Prince to rival even the Exalted Greater Daemons, she just needed to keep him alive and relatively sane long enough to achieve apotheosis.
Naruto was eager to get home, he'd had fun, and he'd like to train, but he missed his harem. Also that cannabis stuff, he wasn't supposed to have it on missions so he'd gone without for the whole trip.
Tenten just sighed, "I can't believe we almost started another war." she muttered as they left the Hokage tower.
"You almost what?" Gai asked from behind his genin with a raised eyebrow, he was just coming to check on them after their mission and wasn't expecting that.
Lee grinned happily, "Gai-sensei! We did not get much chance to fight a worthy foe, as Naruto-san defeated the only enemy!" he said, pouting a little at the fact he hadn't been able to prove how splendid his taijutsu was.
Neji sighed, "Our client ended up betraying us, and we almost had to fight our way out of Hoshigakure no Sato, Naruto-san managed to intimidated the shinobi of the village and challenge their leader to one on one combat." he explained.
Gai stared at the four genin for a moment, "Most youthful!" he decided with a grin after a moment, "I am sure you will get more opportunities to show your worth to your new Kami! You are all still young!" he assured with a laugh. Tenten blinked owlishly, having thought the man would be more stern about that.
She supposed Neji had painted them in a pretty good light with his brief summary, but still, "Well, I'm gonna head home, see you guys!" Naruto said as he waved and headed home, Tenten couldn't help but watch his hips as he walked before she shook her head.
"Yosh! As I did not get to prove my worth on our last mission, I shall perform six hundred of every kind of exercise before dawn!"
Naruto was glad to be home, the familiar smells and scents of his harem and property were comforting. Being able to hear the heartbeats of his household before he saw any of them was something he'd become used to with his heightened senses, it sounded like they were all having fun except for one who was very relaxed.
The horned blonde was surprised to see his own Oiroke form tied up in a bondage harness though, the copy of his female form was lacking horns and his bestial legs. Naruto took a moment to realize it was Karin who was made to look like him, tied up being held between Haku and Hinata. The Hyuga was using a cock in her ass big enough to cause a slight stomach bulge and nibbling on her neck, while the pretty boy was making use of her pussy and paying attention to her breasts enlarged by the Oiroke no Jutsu.
Kin was dominating Tayuya off to the side, having the older girl bent over while dripping candle wax on her back and plunging a pair of cocks into both the usually foul mouthed girls available holes, a ball gag occupying her mouth. That was surprising considering how scared the younger former Oto kunoichi was of the dark-pink haired girl when he left.
Isaribi was the relaxed one at the kotatsu, looking flushed and dazed. As soon as they all noticed Naruto they stopped, it was odd to see his own female form looking embarrassed to be caught and Karin turned back into herself with a puff of smoke.
The horned blonde raised an eyebrow and smirked, "Looks like you missed me!" he pointed out with a giggle, amused by what he'd walked in on, "Don't stop on my account." he added as he moved towards the kotatsu and pulled out his kiseru. Hinata and Haku were tempted to disobey, but both decided it would be rude to leave Karin like that.
Tenten was surprised by the sheer number of kunai being ordered for delivery to the Uchiha estate, there was of course only one person living there so she couldn't help but wonder what Sasuke was doing. Kunai were supposed to be the least disposable of throwing blades, most genin carried one or two to use as a dagger, tool, or emergency thrown weapon. So a crate of ninety of the things was surprising to have to pack up for delivery.
She wondered if the Uchiha was getting into crafting his own kibaku fuda as well, but she wasn't the one doing the delivery, just packing the crate. Tenten decided she'd just try to remember to ask Sasuke about it the next time she saw him, she was too focused on training in her free time to bother going to see what the Uchiha was up to.
Sakura frowned at the pile of skulls behind the offering box of the shrine her father had helped her make, "I think it's about time we send these to Khorne-sama." Genkei mused.
The pink haired kunoichi took a second to register those words, "Wait we can do that!?" she asked, startled by the information.
Genkei nodded, "Of course, you just need to summon a lesser Daemon to take them to the throne for you." he informed, the brass skinned girl's eye twitched at the information she could have been doing that the entire time.
Sakura counted backwards from eight to calm her flaring temper, "Whatever, I'll tell Kiba-kun to gather the Inuzuka who have been marked, maybe we can make a ceremony out of it or something." she grumbled, not feeling like doing it right that second anyway.
Naruto followed Maemi's advice and went with her into the forest of death, apparently he should reward the herd for heeding his call since he didn't let them fight after calling them. It seemed fair enough to him, but the thought of how he would be rewarding them made his stomach flutter.
The Muse had even told his household he might be busy for the entire night, which was a very intimidating prospect. Despite his nerves he strode confidently into the encampment, wearing a rather disposable white yukata at Maemi's suggestion. The herd looked up as he arrived, a few of the scrawnier ones huffed and moved towards him only for one of the particularly larger ones to backhand the stubby horned bestial humanoid to the ground.
"The Ungor won't be allowed to touch you, but Bakkus and the Slaangor will all want a turn." Maemi explained quietly, "If they wait turns." she added, and Naruto felt his stomach tie itself in knots as he realized she was talking about the ten massive Beastmen, each one bigger than the Shaman by as least a head.
The horned blonde swallowed a lump in his throat, he'd had a smoke before arriving to help his nerves but seeing Bakkus smoking while waiting for him with a semi-erect bestial cock had him wanting more. He licked his lips as he approached, normally his horns made it difficult for oral sex due to the way they framed his head as they curved forwards.
With the size of the Beastmen, Naruto suspected that would not be much of an issue. He was grateful for the strange fermented blood brew, taking a bigger swig than last time to wet his lips as the Bray-Shaman rose to meet him in more ways than one. The females, Doe, attended the Slaangor as they surrounded him, lubricating the larger males as the young genin bent over to do the same for Bakkus.
The sexual fluids of the Beastmen tasted even stronger than they smelled, Naruto wondered why that turned him on but decided to focus on the pleasure. Careful of his fangs the horned blonde licked and stroked the bestial shaft of his Shaman to full hardness before he was gently, for the Beastman, grabbed by his horn and turned around to present his backside.
The yukata he wore was lifted aside and some of the blood brew was poured across his ass before Bakkus lined himself up and took Naruto from behind, the horned blonde squealed in pain and pleasure as he nearly buckled under the first thrust. A large hand on his hip held him up as the Shaman started to roughly rut into him.
The next Beastman in line was not intent on waiting their turn and stepped up to the bent over blonde to rub his stiffening, glistening length on Naruto's face. Aware of his fangs the horned blonde opened his mouth as wide as he could to accept the length, but his horns and fangs kept the member from being thrust too deeply. The ninso was oddly disappointed by this, but massaged what fit in his mouth with his tongue as it muffled his moans.
The sight of nine more waiting was not the reason Naruto shot his load into the dirt and down his own thighs, but he was certain the anticipation did contribute some to it.
By the time Naruto was done he wasn't sure if he could even get home without being charged with public indecency, he was a mess of fluids so he bathed in a river as soon as he could feel his legs before returning home. The thought that someone might see him in the ruined yukata, stained with dried blood, mud, and cum, was oddly arousing to the blonde.
Naruto wondered how his libido was still high, but once he got home the next morning he was rushed to a bath by his harem. Karin checked him again and was clearly relieved to find no internal damage, "You should probably be more careful about summoning those Kemonojin from now on." she suggested with obvious concern.
"Yeah, probably." Naruto agreed, although despite how much they'd pushed his limits he actually did enjoy himself, "Oh, right, I should tell you all something important." he remembered, "Uh, I have a Chakra no Bakemono inside me." he revealed bashfully, scratching the skin around his right horn nervously.
"That doesn't explain nearly as much as it should." Haku muttered to himself.
"Is that a good thing?" Isaribi asked, confused by the information more than anything.
Kin shrugged, "Well, that depends on how good the Fuin is." she answered, clearly not too concerned.
"I was wondering why your chakra was like that." Hinata murmured thoughtfully.
"I should probably mention it's the Kyubi no Yoko specifically." Naruto added and the Hyuga flinched, being the only Konoha native she understood his nervousness a bit more now.
"Yeah I know." Tayuya said dryly, earning surprised looks, "I honestly didn't even know that was a secret, Orochimaru told me and the stooges about you having that thing already." she added with a shrug.
Karin just looked thoughtful, "Is that why you used to have whisker marks? Those were cute." she finally said.
Naruto shrugged, "I have no idea." he answered honestly.
Hinata looked confused now, "I thought Yondaime-sama killed the Kyubi?" she asked, trying to reconcile conflicting information.
"Yeah, me too, apparently he put it in me instead." Naruto grumbled, his early years had kind of sucked because of that.
"Well, more like half of the Yoko." Maemi corrected, putting the attention on herself, "I don't really know why, but as near as I've been able to figure out you only have the Yang half of the Chakra no Bakemono inside your Fuin, I have no idea where the Yin half is but that's part of why your chakra control was so terrible until you bonded to me." she explained, "I think Slaanesh-sama tried to balance it out but there's only so much spiritual energy you can take from a Kami before it becomes harmful." she added.
"So," Karin began with a raised eyebrow, "when Naruto-nii refers to our Kami as Okaasama-?" she trailed off curiously.
"Not quite literal, but basically true." Maemi confirmed with a nod, to the further surprise of everyone else Naruto didn't even seem surprised by this information.
"That's why this little shit insisted I should just hurry up and bend over for you." Tayuya grumbled before shrugging, "Oh well, you seem to like bending over yourself so I guess I don't mind." she decided with a shrug.
Kin scoffed, "You like bending over more than he does." she pointed out with a smirk, amused by the older girl she'd been terrified of being such a masochistic brat.
"I'll bend you over, bitch!" Tayuya snapped back and Kin was reminded that the other former Oto kunoichi was also sadistic and domineering, the younger dark haired girl yelping in surprise as she was tackled into the couch. Everyone else decided to just enjoy the show instead of joining in.
Jiraiya stared blankly at Tsunade as she explained the situation, "Please tell me you're joking." he requested, "That Hoshi, even Sarutobi-sensei was curious about that. I'm actually surprised Orochimaru wasn't the one trying to steal it." he pointed out, "Naruto seriously absorbed it into his Fuin somehow?" he asked.
Tsunade nodded, "Yeah, I've already arranged a training ground to be empty for you and him at the edge of the village." she assured, "I'd like to pull Tenzo from Anbu so he has time to actually help you in case there is something up with the Fuin, which is risky but with Kakashi heading this Konton Gundan it should be fine." she added, and a brown haired Anbu stepped into view to take off his mask to reveal black, almond-shaped eyes.
"Ah, this one." Jiraiya recognized with a nod, "Alright, I'm fine with the assistance." he agreed, and the man bowed.
"As I'm pulling you from Anbu, you'll be known as Yamato-san." Tsunade informed the man, "Once you're out of Anbu uniform you can catch up with Naruto-kun at the grounds I've had cleared out." she ordered.
"Yes, Hokage-sama." Yamato, formerly Tenzo, agreed with another bow.
Naruto wondered why they were going to such an out of the way training ground, and Maemi was just plain nervous. The Muse knew they were probably in trouble for the incident with Hoshigakure, Natsuhi had helped smoothed things over and the genuine danger of the Hoshi itself had stopped a diplomatic incident at least.
Regardless of the outcome though, the fact was that the horned genin had destroyed a relic that all the Shinobi Godaikoku were interested in. Well, technically it wasn't destroyed, but it was inert thanks to Naruto taking in the radioactive chakra enhancing power of the Hoshi. Best case scenario they wanted to test Naruto's newfound power.
The fact that Jiraiya was the one doing the testing implied this was probably true, the stern look on his face was a cause for concern but Maemi detected no hostility from him at least. Naruto just grinned and waved at the white haired old man as he sauntered up to him, "Yo, Ero Sennin!" he greeted cheerfully.
"What were you thinking!?" Jiraiya snapped in return, "You disregarded mission parameters and completely made up new ones based on how you felt about the mission! Do you have any idea how that reflects on your mission record? On the village!?" he scolded seriously.
Naruto was startled by the reprimand and scowled in return, "That jerk tried to kill me first! Clients that try to betray the shinobi they hire deserve worse than I gave him!" he retorted hotly, feeling more than justified in the actions he took.
Jiraiya sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Regardless of your reasons, that was incredibly reckless." he pointed out, "It's a miracle you aren't suffering the same illness the shinobi of Hoshigakure have." he added, "Although the glowing pink pupils are interesting." he mused, growing more calm with each sentence.
Naruto huffed and crossed his arms, "My magnificent self is built different!" he insisted arrogantly, and the Sannin raised an eyebrow at the obscenely arrogant way of referring to himself. Even Daimyo didn't use 'ore-sama' like that outside of kabuki plays to showcase an over the top arrogance.
Jiraiya decided to ignore it, "Whatever, to start with, can you draw on this Hoshi chakra?" he asked, curious about that. From what he'd heard the toxic chakra boosting energy had been absorbed into Naruto's Fuin, which had apparently been altered by Slaanesh.
Naruto hadn't really tried but he recalled the Kujaku Myoho and how it had felt to hold the Hoshi, and the brilliant pink Rasengan he'd managed. The horned blonde made the ram sign with his hands and focused, his purple chakra flaring up before pink highlights tainted it and finally his pupils glowed brightly as his keirakukei was flooded with the intoxicating power.
"I guess so." Naruto answered, letting go of the ram sign as his chakra took on a shape vaguely resembling the Kujaku Myoho. He smiled smugly then, quite proud of himself since he was now capable of the hijutsu of Hoshigakure. The fact he would not be able to teach it to anyone due to the nature of the chakra occurred to him, but that just made him more proud.
Jiraiya raised an eyebrow, he'd only heard of the hiden ninjutsu of Hoshigakure so he had no idea how Naruto's approximation of it actually compared, "How is your Rasengan?" he asked curiously and watched as the young blonde formed it one hand without needing another to stabilize it, "Impressive, you might be ready for Hari Jizo." he decided, rubbing his chin as he inspected the pink and purple Rasengan.
"Sweet!" Naruto cheered, letting the jutsu and pink chakra dissipate and retreat back into his body.
"Before that though," Jiraiya continued and the blonde slumped, "I want to make certain of the safety of your Fuin." he explained seriously, "Someone will be coming to assist me just in case." he added.
Maemi frowned, "The Fuin is the work of a Kami, it's not the kind of thing a human can comprehend anymore." she argued, offended at the very idea someone thought Slaanesh's design might be anything less than perfect.
"Well how about you explain then, what's going on with the Yoko in there?" Jiraiya asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Kyubi no Kitsune?" Maemi asked for clarification and the Sannin nodded, "Chained by Slaanesh-sama's will, to put it in terms you'd understand the lock is not needed and was shattered by the power of Slaanesh-sama. The Yoko chakra is as Naruto-sama's chakra, as filtered through the will of Slaanesh-sama." she explained honestly.
Jiraiya's eyes widened in alarm, "The lock isn't even there anymore?" he asked with concern, it would explain what he'd already seen but it had some very horrifying implications.
Maemi scoffed, "Of course not, it would only have gotten in Naruto-sama's way." she answered bluntly. The white haired Sannin considered that, it definitely explained why Naruto's chakra was so limitless.
Unsure of what else to say to that, Jiraiya taught Naruto the hand signs for Hari Jizo to practice, intercepted Yamato, and took him to report to Tsunade about what he'd learned.
Tsunade couldn't help but laugh, "So you've got a key to a broken lock and our Jinchuriki has arguably more control than any in history as a result?" she asked for clarification.
Jiraiya nodded with a perturbed expression, "From the sounds of it, he's like a Biju in human form more than anything now." he answered, "Well, humanoid form at least." he added dryly in reference to Naruto's horns and legs.
Yamato frowned, "What of the Shodai's necklace then?" he asked, "Is it not useful for it's intended purpose anymore?" he asked curiously.
Jiraiya shrugged, "Honestly? Even I have no idea for certain." he confessed, "Maybe it'll help control him if something completely unexpected goes wrong, but in the face of an actual Kami backing him up? I kind of doubt it."
Tsunade frowned at the rather worrying thought, at this point even the genin of the Konton Gundan were serious threats. They were going to absolutely terrify the competition at the next Chunin Selection Exams, "What of the Hoshi chakra? Is it still harmful?" she asked, concerned for the safety of the young blonde genin.
"Well that's a matter of perspective." Jiraiya answered hesitantly, "It's definitely harmful, but not to Naruto thankfully." he assured, "I don't think it will infect anyone, unless he does something stupid like trying to use Hoshi chakra for iryo ninjutsu, but it's not like he has any particular talent for iryo ninjutsu anyway." he explained with a shrug, "Although I guess if he uses it with genjutsu on someone it might make them sick." he added thoughtfully.
Hinata was still having difficulty with the second step of learning the Rasengan, much to her chagrin, "Try the Shifuku no Kurushimi again." Naruto suggested idly.
Much to the surprise of the Hyuga girl she actually managed to pull it off, although it was clearly weaker than even Neji's, but that made three people who could perform the Kajojutsu. Naruto just grinned proudly at her accomplish, which made the girl feel a lot better about having difficulty with the Rasengan.
"The second step of the Rasengan is all about power, I didn't have too much trouble with it besides just getting my chakra to flow." Naruto explained, "Sasuke and I kind of have a leg up on everyone else our age in regards to sheer amount of chakra though." he added with a laugh.
Tayuya could do the Shifuku no Kurushimi, but only when she activated her Juin. The girl didn't seem concerned about this and simply practiced her chakra control while playing her flute, now that she was free to pursue whatever she wanted the foul mouthed girl seemed rather content to practice her flute and cuss out anyone who didn't like it.
Naruto liked it, he also liked that Kin and Tayuya were getting along and harmonizing their music better now, he was pretty sure no one outside of their household would ever guess the younger girl regularly dominated the older girl.
The horned blonde tried practicing the sound based genjutsu with Kin and Tayuya, but his control still wasn't great. It didn't help that he didn't actually have an instrument to play with, he tried whistling and the ear piercing sound of his chakra enhanced whistle had everyone begging him to only do that as a signal from a long distance or when he was surrounded.
Maemi sighed, Naruto would need a lot more chakra control for more advanced Kajojutsu. Thankfully he had plenty of other jutsu to practice with to help in that regard.
Lee panted breathlessly, his muscles ached from his new training regiment but his brain was flooded with endorphins from achieving new heights. He felt bad that he and his team had the least blessings out of anyone, but he just needed a worthy foe and like Gai said he was still young. Being impatient was understandable, but he did as Naruto preached and discarded any thoughts of despair or hope, simply enjoying becoming stronger while waiting for a worthy foe.
They wouldn't know what hit them, Lee would make sure of that.
Kiba grinned as he gathered around the shrine with those of his clan who had been marked, none were particularly closely related to him. Technically he was the clan heir, but the Inuzuka were a bit less caring of direct lineage and more on the power granted by it. Few really noticed since his line had bred strong for a while, and his recent bringing of Khorne's attention to the clan only cemented this.
Akamaru even had a brass collar now, and had a noticeable growth spurt. Still smaller than a fully grown ninken by far but half again the size he had been before going on the last mission. Kiba idly wondered if his partner would grow to be even larger than most ninken, but he pushed those thoughts from his head as Sakura commenced the ceremony.
It wasn't all that ceremonial all things considered, but there was the heart of an enemy they'd killed on patrol being offered apparently. The girl took a hyorogan, cut her palm with her axe carefully, weaved hand signs, and with a puff of smoke there was a large red Daemon where the human heart had been. It had bestial clawed legs, jagged horns, it wore iron armor and a chain loincloth, and a strange glowing sword was strapped to it's back.
The Inuzuka all watched it curiously, it was unlike any Daemon they'd seen before, even Naruto's humanoid Daemons were more humanoid than the cone headed biped that gathered up the skulls. The watching Inuzuka couldn't help but feel a sense of trepidation at the rather mundane ritual, the Daemon was just shoving the skulls into a steel net.
Finally, in a blaze of flames the Daemon left, leaving a brass brazier behind the offering box, "From now on we can send our skulls directly to Khorne-sama by tossing them in that flame, useful." Genkei informed, seeming pleased with the result. The Inuzuka weren't sure what to make of the ceremony, but it had been interesting to a few of them.
Kiba rubbed his chin, "Does this give us more chances to get boons?" he asked curiously, and when Genkei nodded the Inuzuka were much more enthused with the brazier.
Karin took a deep breath and readied herself for what she was about to request, "I'd like to join the shinobi program as a reserve genin." she said quickly, "I wish to help Naruto-nii in the field if I can." she added.
Shizune was surprised by the request, "I'll pass this on to Tsunade-sama," she answered with a raised eyebrow, "why the change of heart?" she asked curiously.
Karin flushed, "I just worry about Naruto-nii when he goes on missions, and I'd like to give back to the village a little more I guess." she answered, a little embarrassed that her entire reason was to help her blonde relative.
Shizune nodded in understanding, "Well you were a genin once, so you should have no problem passing an assessment test." she mused, "Although it's a shame we'll have to be careful about sending you on patrols." she added with a frown. They'd already run a few risks letting Karin stay with their alliances with Kusa, but Kurenai hadn't wanted to let the village keep abusing the girl however they were and no one with any authority had disagreed yet.
"I would like to join the Konton Gundan under Naruto-kun's command as a Kajo no Oinin." Haku requested with a humble bow, deciding doing it officially would be better than trying to sneak off.
Kakashi raised an eyebrow, "This is the kind of thing you should be asking Hokage-sama, not me." he pointed out dryly, "I'll pass it on though." he assured with a shrug. Technically speaking Haku had never been officially in Kiri's shinobi program, nor had he actually ever been known as a nukenin due to the secrecy used by Zabuza and his associates.
The Hatake went back to his lunch, silently dismissing Haku and wondering how the boy had known where and when to find him. The only real issue was that Haku was a slave, but that purchase was as under the table as it could be anyway and Naruto definitely wouldn't mind.
Shino frowned at his destroyed wakizashi, it was unfortunate to lose the Nurgling but his 'contract' was finally done fermenting. It tasted as bad as he expected, maybe even worse actually, but he managed to swallow the whole thing. The Aburame almost retched but kept it down, he wondered if he needed to digest the brew before the contract took hold.
The Aburame heir decided to wait before trying to use Kuchiyose no Jutsu anyway, he felt like trying to manipulate his chakra would just make him hurl and he wasn't risking three weeks worth of work going down the drain so literally because of impatience on his part. So Shino simply went to bed early, he didn't think he'd be able to handle putting anything else in his stomach right now.
The next morning Shino awoke starving and with the distinct feeling of something bigger than his insects crawling around in his guts, "As my kikaichu have not devoured you, am I to assume you are not harmful?" he asked with a raised eyebrow as he put his shades on.
From the open stomach of the Aburame crawled a squat chubby thing, with frog-like legs and tiny clawed hands on the end of stubby arms. It had nostrils but no nose, a wide toothy grin and bulging little beady eyes, "Oniichama!" it greeted happily, "Call me Funben-tan!" it insisted and Shino raised an eyebrow at the rather crude name, "I'm starving, but I didn't eat any of your hive, they were super nice! They work in such loving harmony with your body." the thing gushed happily, "Oh! Ojisama wants me to teach you Shikkanjutsu!" it added.
Shino decided he should probably have breakfast first, and figure out exactly what these jutsu were before practicing them, "Nice to meet you, Funben-san, you may refer to me by my name, Shino Aburame." he informed politely.
"Okay, Shino-niichama!" Funben agreed happily, having apparently already decided on chosen honorifics for the Aburame.
Shikamaru stared in the mirror, glaring at the mark on his left pectoral as if it would go away if he did. He didn't really mind being marked, from what he could tell the Kami that had chosen him was relatively benign. Shino seemed off lately, Sakura had been downright terrifying during the chunin exams, and honestly he didn't trust Sasuke.
Naruto's boons were odd, but just doing what he wanted suited him just fine. The issue was he didn't want to join the Konton Gundan, he wondered how exactly he had been excessive. Unless being excessively lazy counted, and he supposed he really did do things that brought him pleasure.
The more the Nara thought about it the more it made sense, as far as pursuing perfection in his arts the only thing that arguably counted was his mastery over shogi tactics. Shikamaru sighed, he decided to just hide the mark of Slaanesh he'd gained in his sleep. The lazy genin really didn't care about gaining a bunch of boons or joining a black ops division, he just hadn't realized being excessively lazy was enough to catch the attention of Naruto's Kami.
"Troublesome Kami..." Shikamaru grumbled, he supposed when he thought of an average wife he mostly meant he wanted one who wasn't going to have him as whipped as his mother had his father. A beautiful girl would be nice as long as that beauty didn't make her snobby, he still wasn't going to seek out worthy foes but he supposed if he met one in battle he wasn't going to just let them win.
Tsunade frowned at the mission request, it seemed like a standard escort mission, but she saw an opportunity for payback. Escorting some peddlers from Na no Kuni was normal enough, helping them actually move merchandise would maybe cool Naruto's raging ego, probably not but it was worth a shot.
The issue was who to send with him, the mission probably didn't require much in the way of the Konton Gundan. Keeping Sakura and Sasuke back for more dangerous missions was probably the way to go then. Shino was still being punished, not that he cared, and Kiba kept going on patrol missions, so Hinata was free.
Seeing as Choji was also free she figured that would work, she considered sending Kurenai to supervise but the jonin was needed for A rank missions to keep up appearances that the village hadn't lost much strength despite Orochimaru's attack.