Scavenging a KARR- Chapter 7: Erroneous Humans and Agreements

"Really?" You chuckle behind your hand. "Your name is Car? Mine's better."

VROOOOOOM!

The black super car revved roughly. "I said," the voice reiterated with a deep growl that seemed to come from your earpiece and the car itself. "I am the Knight Automated Roving Robot. And I have now decided that that is the only designation you may refer to me as."

Scared but not enough to lose your curious nature, you poke, "How do you get to make those decisions? You are a car alarm? Wait? How are we even having a conversation?"

An exasperated sigh huffed gently through your earpiece. It sounded annoyed to say the least. "I am an Artificial Intelligence."

You gulped. You sat back a little further from the fancy leather driver's seat and asked, "You mean to tell me that you're an A.I.? Like, Terminator A.I? Are you here to kill me?"

A deep growling laugh vibrated the whole car. "Only if you make me mad."

You sat there in dead silence.

"Seriously?" You finally asked after a lifetime.

Another sigh caressed your ear softly. But this time it was just that gentle.

"I am an Artificial Intelligence, yes." The KARR proudly touted in its most aristocratic tone. "I differ from the rest of the production line knock off subpar Intelligences out there in that I am the original. You are conversing with a legend."

You let out a breath that you didn't know that you were holding and chuckle, "If you are the original, how come I have never heard of you?"

"Because you are a child and a nobody." The KARR responded curtly. The evil grin was implied.

It took you a second to realize that this freaking crazy talking car just sent you the best burn you had had in a while. Are you really going to argue with a talking car?

A low maniacal laugh began deep and rumbling from somewhere deep within the now very scary car. It was so rich that it literally vibrates the very being of the car. It culminates into a carefree if not creepy belly laugh.

"Are you afraid?" Your ear tingles with the depth of the voice. But it doesn't sound scary. More curious than anything.

The predatory laugh did get to you. You are frozen in fear and confused. Yes! You are afraid. But. Yes, you are still crazy curious at the same time. A real honest to God A.I. When are you ever going to have another once in a lifetime opportunity like this? What would you ask it first?

"Can you turn up the air? Its hot back here." You try hopefully. 'Let's start small.' You think.

"Its been so long since I have had a delicate human within my cabin." The deep and now distant voice reminisced. "I forgot that you require a more moderate temperature setting. At what degree would you prefer the setting to be?"

Super conscious of your every move now, you shrug carefully. "72, I guess." You try to sound calm. Though you know that your voice cracked like twice.

"Do I make you uncomfortable now?" The KARR asks very seriously. "I will release you to the outside if you desire."

"NO!" You yelp a little too loud. "I was overwhelmed by your charming personality. I've never met anyone like you before."

You let the sentence hang when the KARR doesn't respond.

"May I stay?" You try hopefully.

"Your presence is tentative." The deep car alarm, no wait, A.I. Voice chided. "And contingent on your adherence to the previous rules set before you. Until your evaluation process is complete, your continued comfortability is a new requirement set into my programming."

"I can follow rules." You sarcastically snip. "And the rules say, 'Drive the car across the finish line'. So, how do I get into your driver's seat?"

"If your goal is merely to 'Win the Game'," the menacing voice pointed out darkly as the door next to you popped open. "You may exit now."

"I don't get it." You question worriedly as you inch away from the unwanted exit. "That's the game. We are supposed to drive you over the finish line. What am I missing?"

Red colored lights began to flash on the super futuristic touchscreen dash. The gentle almost nonexistent idle turned rough and loud. Though nothing was said.

"HEY!" You hear a stranger yell from the outside. "The Door Is Open! EVERYONE! OVER HERE!"

You instantly reach for the wide open door. But your tightly fitted seatbelt jerks you back, "Close the door!" You choke out a yell as you fumble with the dang awful seatbelt. "They are coming!"

Suddenly, you feel an odd release. The seatbelt springs free and glides smoothly back up your shoulder. You are no longer restrained. With all of the adrenaline of your newfound freedom, you leap at the door and yank with all of your might.

It doesn't budge.

"Close The Door! CLOSE THE DOOR!" You scream at the top of your lungs as you tug helplessly and watch the riling mob sprinting full blast at you like storm clouds on the horizon. "PLEASE?"

"You wish to use me as a tool to get what you desire?" The deep voice angrily pointed out just barely audible over the oncoming screams. "I am not a tool or object to help you gain your measly objectives. You are dismissed."

While still fruitlessly yanking with both hands, you yell, "Can we talk about this?! Please close the door!"

What is there to discuss? You have made your intentions clear." The low voice got lower. "You are free to leave. Please do so."

"I don't wanna leave!" You yell back. "What can I do so that I can stay?"

With the door still solidly standing open to the outside world, the KARR offered, "Please repeat after me."

"Seriously?!" You yell in a full blown panic.

The deep KARR voice actually chuckled, "I can wait."

After another brief but wild attack on the unmovable door, you yelp as you furiously kick away your first combatant. "Okay! Okay!"

The unmovable and once brick wall of a door suddenly whirled into you and slammed shut. It almost took your foot with it. But it was a blessedly solid close and lock.

The sprinting mob all pelted against the now very closed door like a swarm of pissed off Killer Bees. They even sounded like bees with all of the buzzing and zapping of the outer shell's protective system. Though, their angry drool covered faces looked more like rabid pit bulls than dainty little bees.

"Much better." The deep voice sighed relieved. "Now I can hear you."

"Please don't ever do that again." You sigh even louder than the car. The loud buzzing of people still trying the sealed door almost making you yell. You can only imagine the smell outside, sweat and burnt flesh. "I thought that they were going to kill me."

"They were." Was the simple reply.

You settle uncomfortably into your soft leather bucket seat. You are just catching your breath when the KARR finally adds, "I request no less than the same. Do not refer to me as a means to an end. Ask for help. State a request. Make a plea. Do not order me about. I serve No One."

"Ok," you nod. "I get that But we need to talk somehow. I've never worked with an A.I. Before now. You have to cut me some slack here. You have to help me too. Ok?"

"We have an agreement," The KARR' voice reluctantly conceded. "You will not use me as a tool. And, I will briefly consider that you are a faulty human that can be in error."

"But," you chuckle smartly. "I am an original."

The KARR snorted, "Once again erroneous. There are trillions of faulty and erroneous humans on this globe."

You laugh companionably. How can you argue with the logic of an all knowing smart ass car who likes to pick fights? You can't. But, you are starting to get the hang of how he works. You hope.

"So, ummm KARR," you try again carefully. "Can I drive now?"