Brooklyn, New York, June 1946
It was a warm, sunny day in Brooklyn and Josephine was on her way to the cemetery. Even though there was no body to bury when Bucky died, she felt that he still deserved a funeral. Since then, she had made regular trips to the cemetery and visited his grave.
Today she was carrying a blanket and a picnic basket with her. Once she arrived at the cemetery, she followed the familiar path to Bucky's grave and set down her picnic basket. She unfolded the blanket and laid it down on the ground, smoothing it out before she sat down on it. She took a deep breath and stared sadly at the headstone.
"Hi James," she greeted softly.
It pained Josephine that this was the only way that she could talk to Bucky. She looked down at the engagement ring that was still on her left finger. She never had the heart to take it off and Winnifred was adamant that she kept it.
"So much has gone on since…" she swallowed heavily. "My life has changed a lot within this past year. I almost don't recognize myself."
Part of her felt crazy for talking to a grave where there was no body buried. But it gave her some sort of comfort. Not much, but some, and she would take that over nothing.
"I turned twenty-eight last month," Josephine noted. "I'm not as fond of my birthday anymore since you and Steve died. They're just not as fun anymore. But Peggy made sure that we celebrated," she explained.
Josephine wondered what Bucky would think of her now. Having spent the last year working with Peggy and the SSR, she had changed so much already. She now knew how to handle a weapon and hand-to-hand combat just to name a few things.
"I'm really glad that Peggy and I have gotten to know each other, ya know?" Josephine added. "After I found out that Steve had died… James, I was so lost. I was still working through my grief over losing you and Mama. It felt like my entire world was crumbling around me. But Peggy's really helped," she explained. "Don't worry, I haven't been doing anything too dangerous. I also work with Howard Stark, which is exciting. He's charming, just like you were, James."
Josephine reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a fresh bouquet of flowers. Every time she stopped by the cemetery she would replace the flowers placed on Bucky's grave.
"Sometimes it feels so wrong to be living without you," Josephine noted as she replaced the old bouquet. "When you died, half of me was ripped away forever. God, I just wish things could be different. I just know that if you were still here, you would have married me the minute the war ended."
That was another strange adjustment. Adjusting to a post-war world without Bucky and Steve was much harder than she imagined. She was obviously elated that the war was over, but another part of herself felt that it was hard to celebrate when two of the most important people in her life weren't there to celebrate with her.
"Howard… I still can't believe I'm on a first-name basis with Howard Stark." Josephine chuckled. "We were all in awe of him at that expo of his a few years ago and now he's become a close friend of mine. Well, he's been alluding to a new project that he wants me to be a part of." She explained. "I'm not quite sure what it is yet, but I'm excited."
She knew that if Bucky were here, he'd be telling her repeatedly to be careful. He never wanted her to get in over her head. Josephine swallowed heavily and fiddled with the edge of the blanket.
"I miss you so much, James." Josephine's voice cracked. "I hate that you're not here with me, I hate that Stevie's not here with me. I'm still so angry at the circumstances that led to all of this. I'm trying to go on with life, and I've been doing an okay job. But it's so hard sometimes."
Josephine took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. She stood up and folded her blanket, packing it away in the picnic basket. She rested a gentle hand on top of the headstone.
"I love you forever and then some, James," Josephine whispered. "I'll see you soon, my love."
She picked up the picnic basket and started making her way out of the cemetery. Suddenly, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and felt the intense feeling of someone watching her. Her training with Peggy had helped her always stay alert and Josephine looked around.
Josephine shook her head when she was met with the empty cemetery. However, she couldn't quell that uneasy feeling in her gut that someone had been watching her.
"It must be in my head," she muttered, almost as if she was trying to convince herself.