It looked to be another nice day on the City of Vale. With it's blue sky filled with white, fluffy clouds and rising Sun. People going around with their heads up straight and no one dragging their feet in misery as puppets of society.
"This is nothing but grocery shopping! Our skills are wasted on this!"
Except for one deer faunus, who was stomping in the sidewalk alongside another faunus. A man hiding floppy brown ears in a black hoodie, and round glasses, wearing light blue jeans and black shoes. Listening to his female companion complain—she wore a light-blue shirt and black sweatpants with black running shoes.
"Can you believe this!" she looked at him expectantly.
"I can actually," calmly started Perry. "We're new members- and even though we made a good impression, we're nothing special, so the rules still apply to us like any new recruit."
The deer faunus looked at him with a frown.
"I'm just stating the facts, Deery."
"My name is not—!" Deery exclaimed, before her shoulders fell and she looked down in defeat with a sigh. "Forget it… this will be my name from now on, won't it?"
"Yeah."
She gave him a nasty look. "I wasn't really asking…"
Perry didn't respond to that and just kept walking ahead, Deery following behind like an angry child.
"Let's just get what we need to get back to your car, alright? I want this day to be over before it gets worse," Deery said, still grumpy from the facts.
Perry nodded, thinking she probably was bothered by that too. She wanted him to drive to all the places they could get what the White Fang asked trough their new scrolls, and he disagreed. Combustion Dust was not cheap and he didn't have a lot of money for wasting it like that just because she didn't want to walk.
And it was his car, so what he said goes.
They walked until they reached a store called 'From Dust Till Dawn'.
"Do we go in? We still need Dust," asked Deery, glad to not use lien from her own pocket.
She thought the White Fang would rely on the good will of faunus and human sympathizers, but they had a surprising amount of lien to spare if what they carried was an example.
Perry nodded and they went inside.
It didn't take a second for them to freeze, like deers caught in the highlight.
"Just my luck…" a fashionably dressed man with a bowler hat said. Turning around to glare at them both with one eye hidden by bangs of orange hair, and the other pronounced by the black eyeliner around it, drawing attention to it's dark green iris. It was Roman Torchwick, doing one of his heist with a few White Fang soldiers.
A balding old man with eyes seemingly closed, slowly pecked from behind the sharply dressed thief to face them behind his counter and with his hands on the air. The Shopkeep mouthed the words 'sorry'. As if he had any blame for being robbed.
"Some of you animals would mind to actually secure the place and look out for anyone before—"
That's as far as Roman got before two more people entered the store.
"I'm telling ya, we don't get paid enough for this," said a dark long haired man, wearing sunglasses indoors, a white shirt with a black tie, and black pants with suspenders and black shoes.
"I know, but I just got this feeling, ya know?" said a similar dressed man, with darker short hair and a beard. "This was one of the first Dust stores affected, and because lighting doesn't strike twice, I bet Torchwick and the White Fang will come here. It would be unexpected."
They probably were detectives of the VPD going by their outfits. They must have not been that good if they didn't notice Roman fucking Torchwick in the middle of a robbery with the White Fang while the two talked about catching these very same people.
Roman sighed. "I marked 'stupid' in the map because I don't like cops, not because I thought they actually were."
"Hey! I take offense to that," said the bearded one, just now looking in front of him. "… Shit."
Before anything else could be said, Roman grabbed Deery with one arm and pointed at her head with his cane. "Now, listen and things won't get ugly. You two will let me and the animals go with as much Dust as we want, and our dear herewill live to chew grass another day. Sound good?"
Perry was about to tell him that they were allies, and Roman noticed he was about to speak. Torchwick raised a finger to his lips. Then gave a thumps up and wink.
Perry didn't know what the Hell he was trying to say, so he simply raised his hands and looked at the detectives. "Please, do as he says," Perry did his best to sound worried and scared.
"Sorry," started the first detective. "But we don't negotiate with terrorists."
"I'm just a criminal, not a terrorist," corrected Roman.
"Your friends say otherwise."
Roman scoffed. "Just a temporary arrangement. I will soon go back to going solo after this business venture reaches it's purpose. So if you wouldn't mind, I would like it if you let this end soon."
The bearded one raised his notepad. "Want anything else?"
"No," Roman replied. "But if you just listened and—"
"Hands in the air! And get on your knees, now!" the notepad turned into a gun, because of course it was also a gun.
Perry got on his knees.
"Not you dude," said the other detective, waving lazily his gun at Roman. "Him."
Roman was so dumbfounded, he felt like his jaw could've hit the floor. "… Are you for real? You're surrounded, and I got a hostage!" Roman tapped the end of his cane against her chin for emphasis, making her tremble in fear.
"Wait, please! I'm in the Whi—fffng!" she was cut off by Roman putting his hand over her mouth.
"Shhh… it's okay, Deery. Two good officers of the law wouldn't put an innocent life in danger," Roman looked directly at them, smiling darkly. "Right, detectives?"
The two detectives looked at each other, then they looked at him and his hostage. "She just admitted being in the White Fang," he waved his gun down to the still kneeling Perry. "He's probably White Fang too."
Roman sighed through his nostril. "We'll need to work on your improvising skills, Deery," Roman said through gritted teeth. He glared at the detectives. "Still, we outnumber you."
Just as he said that, police sirens could be heard getting closer outside.
"Oh for the love of— how did you call for backup?!" Roman pointed his cane at them and pushed Deery towards Perry, who caught her by the shoulders before she fell.
"We didn't."
"Then how the—" Roman turned around before finishing that sentence. "You! It was you, wasn't it?!" Roman pointed an accusatory finger at the Shopkeep.
The old man smiled and gave a nod.
Perry could see Roman grinding his teeth and clenching his fingers so hard it strained his gloves.
Deery didn't want to be so close to someone exuding such anger, and bumped into Perry for keeping her eyes on the Master Thief. All the while the two detectives smiled confidently, cocksure of their victory.
Perry just waited for a chance to present itself so they could get the Hell out of this place.
He didn't have to wait for long.
As destiny would have it, the police arrived and wasted no time in throwing a gas grenade—the rise of crime allowed them more drastic measures—through the glass of the door, right where the detectives where standing.
While they started coughing and looking for cover, Roman wasted no time to order them to get out.
"Alright you useless grunts, time to bail!"
So they all jumped over the counter to get out trough the backdoor, while a few cowards gave up by going outside with hands on the air and tails tucked between their legs— literally for some.
Roman didn't expect some of them to get ahead of him to throw him under the bus thought.
"Sorry boss, but some sacrifices must be made for the White Fang," said a masked soldier, before closing the white van and speeding away with the other uniformed members.
"Son of a—just what I needed. Left behind by those useless animals… should've brought Neo…"
Perry tapped Roman to get his attention, and the Master Thief looked at him. "My car is near. We should make a run for it before they check this alley, sir."
Roman looked like he didn't want to and was ready to snap at him, but thought better of it and closed his mouth. "Alright. Lead the way, Fido."
Perry didn't react at being called that, so he started running out of the alley while dragging Deery—who did look like she wanted to rant at the human.
"Just around the corner," Perry announced.
He got his keys out, rushing to his compact cheap-but-efficient car and opened the doors. Deery in the passenger seat to his right and Roman in the back. Soon after, he put the key in, starting the ignition. Wasting no time in shifting into gear and pressing hard on the accelerator—making the wheels burn off some of their rubber.
"It's good to finally see some competence," Roman started. Talking probably helped easing the tension he felt. Deery knew better than to antagonize him for the nickname and Perry himself could concentrate on the road while lending his ears. "What, no bark? Nevermind, just get us out of here."
After making some distance from where the store was, Perry shifted to lower gear and went at the same speed as everyone else. He soon had to stop before the crossroad because of a red light.
"Damn it, we had them!"
Perry, very slowly, turned his head to the left. He hoped it was somebody else with the same accent, but his hopes were crushed when he saw the two detectives in a black car.
"I told ya it wasn't worth the trouble. Now they're gone, and we made clowns of ourselves."
Perry turned to look back on the road, stiff as a board, one foot on the clutch pedal and a centimeter from the accelerator, and both hands firmly holding the steering wheel. He looked at the traffic light, hoping it turned green. Then to the rear mirror, glad to see Roman crouching uncomfortably in his seat and out of vision.
He should've been looking at Deery though.
"Oh God no!"
It just took one look from them to recognize her, and in a second their guns were out.
Perry didn't waste anytime and pushed Deery's head down- His own following a second before the bullets got him.
He had his aura unlocked—Deery too—,but he didn't want to tempt fate and see how much it could take before breaking.
Still down, he let go off the clutch and pressed the accelerator- praying that no cars where passing at the crossroad. Shifting from first to higher as quick as he could before the detectives took the smarter choice of shooting at his wheels.
Risking being hit, he got up to see where to go between incoming cars and bullets. Seeing the start of a highway, he decided that's the way to go- they connected a lot of the city, and he could totally lose them in it's many roads.
So he went against traffic, maneuvering around speeding cars to lose the firing officers, hearing some crashes and a lot of screaming.
Luckily for everyone, the detectives were using gunpowder instead of Dust rounds.
But he had no qualms about that.
"Deery, open the glove locker and grab my gun."
She did as told, taking hold of the black and red handgun
"Good. Now fire back."
"Ummh…" Deery glanced at the handgun uneasily, looking quite meek. "I don't know how to shoot yet…"
Perry almost stopped the car. "… You didn't practice?"
She shook her head in shame. "I didn't find a good place for it…"
Perry's mouth opened at the absurdity of that. Vale had a lot of ammo and gun shops that had a room for target practice more often than not. And there are gun ranges out of the city.
Perry would've said something about it if it wasn't for the sudden boom behind him. He looked into the rear window, and saw the black car crash to the side of broken and smoking concrete towards another car.
Roman was pointing outside with his cane, right where the explosion happened. "Sorry to intrude on your little back and fort, but now would be a good time to get away from those idiots," Roman then took a look at his weapon. "Should've brought more ammo…"
Perry just speed right to the highway, passing many cars to make distance and only relaxing when he was high up.
If only that was the end of it.
A bullhead was near and shone a light on them. "This is the VPD! Stop the car this instant, and surrender peacefully!"
"Should've brought more than that," Roman started to aim for the flying vehicle, getting ready to fire and taking it out of the sky. Until a lot of sirens could be heard getting near behind.
"Last warning! Stop right now, or we'll open fire!"
A lot of cars close by started making distance from them, making them easier to target.
"Damn it—of course today was the day the cops decided to be competent!" Roman complained, and turned to Perry. "Do what you can while I cook up a plan."
The bullhead made it's way down to the side of the highway, right above the hard-light Dust wall of the road. It's sniper switching to an assault rifle with their target closer now
Perry grabbed his handgun from Deery's hand, and gave a determined nod. "You've got it boss."
Roman raised an eyebrow at that, but didn't comment about it. Instead, he started thinking about ways to save their skin against these less than favorable odds while taking cover.
The officer opened fire, hitting the driver side of the car, the side mirror and Perry himself in the head. Aura saving him from what would've been a gruesome end.
He shook his head, grimacing at the feeling of being hit by a bullet to the head, and hoping it didn't happen again. It was a weird, uncomfortable feeling.
Perry didn't think twice and fired back at the shooter the best he could while looking at the road.
It wouldn't do to fall to their deaths just because he wanted a perfect shoot.
And just as the police cars were getting closer, Roman shouted. "I've got it!"
"What?" Deery asked, looking worriedly at him, wanting all of this to be over.
"The gamble that might help us survive another day," Roman took his cane out through the window, and pointed right down to the side of the car. "It's quite drastic to say the least."
Before Perry could object, Roman shot. The very explosive Dust round making the car flip right through the hard-light wall, and at the VPD bullhead.
The pilot tried to maneuver out of their way—and the shooter tried not to fall—but the car hit the left wing, making the vehicle lose control and fall into the highway. Right in front of the incoming patrols.
While flipping in the air, Perry gripped the steering wheel and grit his teeth to not scream. Deery screamed like she never screamed before while thinking they would surely fall to their demise.
Roman was thinking about the good and the bad of dying right now—on one hand, no more dealing with Red, the animals and Cinder. On the other hand, no more Neo and no more living.
Everyone liked living, to a certain extent.
And before they knew it, the car landed on another highway. The car's wheels surprisingly not giving on impact.
Perry worked through the shock of such a crazy stunt, and drove before anything else happened. Going down to to ground level and to the closest hideout—with Roman's help, because he didn't have that knowledge yet.
Roman smiled, taking out an expensive cigar- the real deal if the smell was to go by. "I'll throw you a bone, bud," Roman looked at him. "What's your name?"
"Perry, sir" Perry replied, still driving. The nearest hideout wasn't really that close.
"Perry, eh? Not my first guess, but it'll do. I'll put on a good word with your actual boss."
"Adam Taurus?" Deery asked.
Roman chuckled. "No. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting with him…" Roman looked like he sucked on a lemon. "Yet."
"Then who?"
"That big guy with the full-face mask. You know, the guy that introduce me to you lot." Roman had a thoughtful expression. "I think he goes by Banesaw, if one of the other animals was to be believed."
Banesaw? What an odd name thought Perry
"Anyway, what do you say?" Roman looked at Perry, waiting for an answer. And he did.
"You'll put a good word for us both. Right, sir?" Deery looked at him, surprised at his words.
Roman gave him a questioning look, and then smirked. "Of course."
"Then it sounds good to me, boss."
And with that, Roman made him drive to one of the White Fang's many hideouts. Directly to the lieutenant of the Vale cell.
This would've been easier if English was my main language, but it isn't.
Anyway, hope this chapter sprinkled with a bit of humor at least made someone smile if not chuckle a little. Of course, this ain't the cracky shitposting stuff that I go to for a good laugh, since this still is plot that wants to cover the Fang in a more serious and gray light (also, if that's your kind of humor, go check out Problems With Dating The RWBY Girls).
Hopefully it wasn't too awkward to read…
And we got Roman! Hope I did a good job with him, even with my lack of wit. If so, I'll redeem myself next time he's featured in a chapter.
Till next time.